by Gladys Diaz
I was grocery shopping, not looking my best at all, and this super handsome guy started talking to me about the almond milk we were both buying. Then he asked about what I was checking out, and it was these beautiful round beets. I proceeded to tell him how I cook them. I was nervous because he was so good looking. I then had to pack my bags and deal with payment to the cashier. But I made sure to give him a huge beaming smile and said, “Enjoy your almond milk.”
I did the whole flirty thing, not worrying about my looks – even told him my secret recipe of adding a spoonful of coconut oil to chilled almond milk, which makes a little crunchy ice sorbet. I was being myself. You know what? It felt good.
Was there something I could have asked him without being weird or overbearing to continue flirting? I see no divine obstacle to one meeting one’s future husband in line at the supermarket. The thing is, what to do with it? How does one prepare for these sudden flirty moments, be open yet classy, because I was packing my groceries, averting my gaze, knowing he was looking at me, and was very nervous although it felt awesome, too.
First, I want to acknowledge you for getting your flirt on! It’s obvious that you were doing something to send the message that it was safe for this guy to approach and speak with you. I especially like how you didn’t let concerns about how you looked stop you from interacting with him and flirting back!
You smiled and chatted with him, but I hear that you feel there was something missing or something that you could have done to keep the flirt going. The good news is that you didn’t do anything “wrong.” The even better news is that there are a few other things you can do to be “flirt-ready” when the opportunity to flirt with someone presents itself!
- Let him see you smile. Many women underestimate the magnetic power of a smile. There is something about a smile that, not only makes you look happy, but also translates into feeling happy. It also lets men know that you are someone who is “safe” to approach, meaning that there’s a good chance they won’t be rejected if they choose to come up to and speak with you.
- Let him know you’d like to go out with him. Now, this does not mean that you ask him out on a date. Instead, you ask him to ask you out by showing interest in something that he mentions during conversation. You can also give him your number and tell him you’d love to go out with him if he’s interested. This, sends him the message that you’d probably say yes, if he asked. It’s also very different from asking him on a date, because you are leaving the actual asking for the date and the pursuing up to him.
- Always be “flirt-ready.” It always makes me smile when women mention that they met a guy right after working out at the gym, at the grocery store, and in unexpected places or events. That’s why it’s important to always be flirt-ready and try to look your best. Am I saying that you have to look like a Stepford Wife each time you leave the house because men are only interested in your looks? No, but, when you look good, you feel good, and you emit radiant, feminine energy. And that’s what men are attracted to. So, even if you’re not dressed to the nines, before you leave the house check to see if you feel good about the way you look and remind yourself that this just might be “the day” you meet the man of your dreams!
Being pleasantly surprised is one of my favorite aspects of dating and relationships. Love can enter your life when and where you least expect it. This is why you can never really know when you may meet the man who will eventually ask you to share your life with him. So, as my older son, who is a Cub Scout would say: Be prepared. Smile, give him your number or let him know you’d like to see him, and look and feel your very best!
And expect the unexpected!
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I thought it was wrong (or not feminine) to give your number to a guy. If he was interested enough wouldn’t he ask you for your number right then and there, knowing that he may not see you again… and this was a chance encounter at the supermarket. Nowadays that we don’t give someone our numbers written on a piece of paper, how would you suggest the conversational line should go with this guy to give him your number? I can see myself being in this similar situation as this writer’s question, so please help me… I am not slick about these things… I wouldn’t know how/what to say to give him my number.
MR, It’s okay to give a man your number if you’d like him to call you. Sure, he could ask for it, but, if you remember, she was averting her eyes and feeling a bit uncomfortable. It takes a huge amount of courage for a man to ask a woman for her number, because he’s risking being rejected. Most guys won’t ask unless they are pretty sure that she’s going to say yes. And, anyway, you’re just letting him know he can call you if he wants to. It’s an invitation, not an obligation.
You could write your number on a piece of paper (napkin) or give him your card, but I don’t like the idea of giving a business card, because that seems more like a “business transaction.” However, if that’s all you have, it would work. I often tell women that, if the guy gives you his card and tells you”Call me,” you can always turn the card around, write your number on it, and say something like, “I’d love it if you called me.” It’s clear and sends the message that you’re probably going to say yes when/if he calls you. And, if you were in the grocery store for instance, and it’s time to leave, you could say something like, “Thanks for the great conversation. Hope we get a chance to talk again,” or “It was nice talking to you!” Again, you’re creating an invitation to talk at another time. 😉