by Gladys Diaz
I wrote this message from a plane, on my way to California, to speak to a wonderful group of single moms, followed by two amazing days of dreaming, planning, and taking inspired actions with my business mastermind group!
One of my favorite things to do on a plane is read a great book. While I try to make reading a daily practice, I don’t always have the luxury of several uninterrupted hours to just sit and lose myself in a great book.
For this trip, I decided to bring along my signed copy of Sharon Lechter’s book Think and Grow Rich for Women. Based on the principles of Napoleon Hill’s timeless guide to attaining wealth through the power of your thoughts and inspired action, Lechter’s book is written by a woman, inspired by the stories of successful women, and intended for women. (My kind of book!)
As I read the chapters on having a Burning Desire and faith, I smiled as I recognized how so many of the ideas shared for creating material wealth are similar to the coaching we provide our clients when it comes to creating the relationship your heart desires! I was especially moved by the chapter on faith.
Faith is more than something that only exists inside of religion. While it’s a spiritual practice, for sure, it is also a driving force in helping you to achieve what your heart’s desires. Until you begin to believe – truly believe – that you are worthy of the love, peace, passion, intimacy, and fulfillment you would like to experience in a relationship, it will be impossible to experience it. Why?
Because, until you believe that you are deserving of it, you won’t believe it’s possible for you. And, if you don’t believe it’s possible for you to experience it, it will be impossible for you to Be the love you want to see and attract that love into your life.
So, I want you to ask yourself:
Do I truly believe myself to be worthy of the love my heart desires?
Is there absolutely, positively not a shadow of a doubt for you that you can and will attract and create (or reignite, if your relationship has lost some of its spark) that type of extraordinary love?
If your answer is “Yes,” then ask yourself:
What actions am I taking daily that are aligned and consistent with me attracting and experiencing that type of love?
A dream without inspired action is simply a wish. No matter how much you believe something could happen, unless you are taking actions that are consistent with what it is you want- both physical actions and in the way you choose to Be – you will simply be wishing for that type of love. Now, there’s nothing wrong with wishing. It just isn’t as powerful a method for manifesting your dreams as Being and taking inspired actions that lead you in the direction of your dreams.
If your answer to the question above is “No,” and you don’t truly believe yourself worthy and capable of experiencing the love your heart desires, then there’s additional work to do to uncover what the hidden barriers – the thoughts, doubts, and limiting beliefs – are that are standing in the way of you seeing this as something that is completely possible for you. Without distinguishing the hidden barriers and doing the work to dismantle them, you are robbing yourself of the opportunity to experience the love you say you want.
Inaction and indecision are actions and decisions in and of themselves. Choosing to do nothing to change your circumstances is an action, and one that is giving you the experience you are currently having in love – whether it’s not having fun or success in dating, or having your relationship or marriage slowly (or quickly) deteriorate before your eyes.
You have absolutely no control over what anyone else – a guy, your boyfriend, or your husband – does or doesn’t do to make your dream come true. But you have 100% power over what you choose to do to create and transform your experience of love.
So, I have a few last questions for you to ask yourself:
What am I committed to doing to create the experience I want to have in life and love?
What is stopping me or standing in my way of doing that?
What specific steps will I take to transform the experience I am currently having?
How will I demonstrate my faith in my ability to experience the love I want?
These are powerful questions, and I encourage you to not allow “I don’t know” to be an answer for any of them. Be real with yourself and begin to transform your relationship with yourself, how you see yourself, and what you believe is possible for you.
I’d love to hear your responses to these questions! Please leave a comment below and let us know what’s opened up for you inside of answering the questions for yourself. And, remember, if you need someone to help and walk you through this, we’re only a click away!
I have lost a sense of self worth. Have been on disability for awhile due to not understanding how important diet was. I was born with birth defects due to thalidomide a drug. Have not been able to earn a living , This has caused me to feel lack of purpose. Social security is not enough to live on. I know my over all emotional state is negative. I believe God loves me. though there is a part of me that feels unworthy to expect better. I have wanted to take steps to improve but don’t know where to start. I am homeless and have been couch serfing as they say since 2008. Though I’ve tried to get work the doors seem to close. My mind seems dull and often seem to say the wrong things. I attended a conference a couple years ago and got so excited. my mind ,soul and spirit engaged. I need that for me consistantly. I cannot imagine being in a relationship without felling a sense of value again.
Lynn, first, thank you for being so vulnerable and open in your sharing. I can hear that you feel a lot of pain and shame around your current financial situation. Although I don’t know how limiting your physical challenges are, I do believe that there is a way for you to find and step into your purpose. Are there dreams in your heart that you’ve had for a long time, but been too afraid or doubtful to pursue? Make a list of your heart’s desires. Don’t worry about how “realistic” or “probable” they are. Just make your list and see what begins to call out to you. I strongly believe that the dreams in our hearts were placed there so that they can come true!
You mentioned having gone to a conference and feeling inspired. Is there something else — a place of worship, a meetup group, or an organization that you can join that will allow you to nurture your mind, body and spirit on a more consistent basis, so that you can begin to feel alive and “on purpose”?
Regarding feeling a sense of value… Who you are is enough. You don’t have to do anything to earn or prove how worthy you are of love. As you mentioned, you are already loved by God. You were created in and for love. Begin to focus on loving yourself — doing things that fulfill and bring you joy. The joy and love you are seeking are already within you. You just need to do a little “excavation” and allow it to surface. True love begins with self-love. Know that you are loved! <3