by Gladys Diaz
Time to bust another myth about why successful women can’t succeed in love!
If you read the previous blog post, you know that I touched upon another very common myth about how, in order to have a relationship, a successful woman will have to settle.
There is a pervasive belief that a successful woman will either have to settle for someone who is not as successful, someone she’s not that crazy about, or someone who’s not intimidated by her success.
All of these beliefs come from the fear of not being able to have it all – everything your heart desires. If you believe that what you want is “too much,” “too good to be true,” or “unrealistic,” then you’ll do one of two things: You’ll either try to minimize your desires, or you’ll make your expectations so insurmountable that there’s little chance of sharing your life with someone who is able to meet all of them.
Let me address minimizing your desires first.
One desire that successful women often deny is the desire to be in a loving relationship. They will say that they are perfectly happy alone – that they don’t need a man in their lives.
If they are single, they will put dating at the bottom of their very busy to-do list.
If they are in relationships, they begin to think that it’s better to move on alone than to try to make the relationship work.
First, it is important that you are happy with yourself and your life, whether or not you have a man to share it with. You’re 100% responsible for your own happiness, and a woman who is content with her life is confident and attractive.
However, if you do want to share your life with someone and you’re saying that you don’t because you’re afraid that you won’t find the right guy, it feels safer for you to be alone than to risk opening your heart to someone or to put effort into making the relationship work, then you’re not being real with yourself and that has a profound impact on how you experience life and love.
See, anytime you deny one of your heart’s desires, you are selling out on yourself – you’re denying what’s true for you.
When you do that, even if you have tons of success in other areas of your life, you will feel unfulfilled, because you won’t have what you really want. You are, in essence, being inauthentic with yourself. And, if you’re not being real with yourself, you won’t be able to be real with someone else and you will likely attract to yourself someone who is not authentic with you, either. (Prepare yourself for heartache.)
The second way you could sabotage your love life is by setting unrealistic expectations.
These expectations will either be about what the “perfect man” has to be like, do, or have, or what the “perfect relationship” must be like.
I often say, “Perfectionism is poison.” Expecting a person, situation or relationship to be perfect is setting yourself up to be disappointed.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you settle for just anyone. That would be another way of selling out on yourself and your desires. What it means is that you open yourself up to the possibility that you can have a happy, loving relationship with a man who doesn’t meet every point on your “Quality Assurance List” — a perfectly imperfect man.
Rather than focusing on all of the external characteristics a man must meet – height, weight, salary, car, home, etc. – focus on what you want to experience in the relationship, instead. Put your thoughts and intentions into how you want to feel in the relationship. This way, when you are out with a man, you are focused on you, instead of him. This also allows you to be open to meeting and getting to know more men, so that you increase your chances of meeting the right one.
If you are in a relationship, you can begin to let go of all of the expectations that are having you complain about, criticize, and trying to change your man. Instead, you can shift your focus from feeling disappointed to getting present to and appreciating the man he is and the qualities about him that had you fall in love with him in the first place! It also means learning the feminine skill of saying what would make you happy, rather than pointing out all of the things that don’t!
Many of these skills and practices don’t come easily to an independent woman, because it requires letting go of being in complete control and managing everything on your own. It means being okay with uncertainty and imperfection. It means acknowledging just how much you really do want to share your life with a man who will love and adore you, celebrate and share your success.
But these skills are necessary if you want to create a loving, intimate, passionate relationship where you get to be authentic with yourself and experience the love you truly want!
That’s why Michelle and I created The Irresistible Woman LIVE Event. We are committed to equipping successful women with the skills that will empower you to have the loving relationship you want.
You don’t have to settle for less than you truly want and deserve. You really CAN have it ALL! And we want to show you how!
During this 3-day immersive-learning event, you will discover:
- The behaviors and skills that help propel you at work but repel love, connection, and partnership in a relationship
- The steps you can take to create shift in yourself so that you can experience success in love
- The keys to having the type of relationship you want and deserve
And so much more!
This is our way of saying thank you and honoring you for the commitment you are making to yourself and your love life!
Nothing would make us happier than to see you experiencing the success in love we KNOW you can have, so that we can celebrate it with you!
Join us and let’s start celebrating your success in love!
Click here to grab your Early Bird seat!
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