by Gladys Diaz
My husband and I often joke that it’s a miracle we ended up together and that we could not have chosen another more opposite person to ourselves with whom to fall in love!
He prefers to stay home and I love to go out. He prefers hanging out with just the 4 of us, and I am a social butterfly. He is a TV and movie buff and, while I enjoy both, I prefer reading a great book and I am usually doing something else while we’re watching TV. Our views on religion/spirituality and politics couldn’t be more different, and, at times, we see things differently when it comes to disciplining our kids… AND, yet, we have an amazing, loving relationship where each of us has the freedom to think for, act like, and BE ourselves!
It’s a common misconception that, in order to be “the perfect match,” two people should share the same exact interests, values, and beliefs. However, have you ever noticed how, in order for two puzzle pieces to fit together, they must have certain parts that are exactly opposite to one another? Hmmm…
While, of course, it is nice to have things in common with the man you love, it’s still possible to create a loving, mutually fulfilling relationship, even if you both don’t see eye-to-eye on everything. Having common interests and ideals can make for good conversation and fun times. It may even make things seem “easy.” However, having differences in preferences and opinions can make for very interesting conversation, and can offer you both the opportunity to learn more about yourself and one another, as well as lead to having new and exciting experiences in your life.
An essential part of truly loving someone is accepting him for everything he is and everything he is not. Rather than thinking that what he likes is “too different” or “not your style,” see these areas as opportunities to discover more about one another. For example, you may not like sports, but going to a game won’t kill you, and you will get to experience something with him that he really enjoys. You may think his political views are too radical, but there was something about his sense of conviction that was attractive and had you fall in love with him. Different is not “bad” or “wrong.” It’s just… well… different! And, as they say, variety is the spice of life! So, go ahead, spice up your love life!
Today’s Thought:
Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life.
~ Leo Buscaglia
In Sweet Surrender,
Gladys
Heart’s Desire International, LLC
Heart puzzle photo credit: Alfonsina Blyde via photopin.com cc
Reblogged this on Brie Bennett and commented:
Good advice! It’s important to be with someone who complements you (and vice versa). The whole “better together than we are apart” mentality (and I like the puzzle reference!).
Thank you, Brie!
I couldn’t agree more Gladys! Vive la difference! x
Thank you, Karen!
Wonderful point! And you can apply this to your children as well. Appreciate them for their differences, hubby, partner, children and friends, because life would be very boring if everyone was just like us!
Yes, it would be VERY boring! Accepting people exactly as they are and exactly as they are not is the true essence of love!
I’m on my way to a date, and this really put some pre-conceived ideas into perspective. Thanks.
So glad the article gave you some perspective, Vivi! Many times, those preconceived notions are just our minds’ way of “protecting” is from our own fears, which is not necessarily a “bad” thing. However, they can also keep us from discovering something new about another person, love, and even ourselves. Hope you had a fabulously fun date!
And in the beginning do we use the differences to weed out the ones we really think we don’t want?
Great question! And the answer, surprisingly is “No”. There is a time for choosing whether or not the man is the right one for you. However, that time comes after you’ve gotten to know him and you can see how it is that you feel when you are with him. When we begin “weeding” out too soon, we are usually measuring the man against some preconceived list of criteria that he must meet — a.k.a. “The Checklist. This checklist is a suit of armor that keeps us from being vulnerable and really allowing ourselves to get to know someone and prevents them from getting to know us. So, we decide — even before really getting to know the person — that he’s not the one. And it also keeps us creating patterns where we later complain that “all men are the same,” because we keep dating the same “type” of guy. Had I used my checklist when I met my husband, I would have only seen that he was “too different” and “not my type,” and I would have cheats myself out of the best 13 years of my life! Get to know him first, then determine whether or not he’s a weed that needs to be pulled. 😉
Great post – Agree variety is the spice of life! It’s our differences that make the world an interesting place!
Thank you, Jean! Variety truly is the spice of life. And, the “spicier,” the better!
Great post Gladys!
Thank you, Margaret!
Great post Gladys! Although we see people as different they really are always reflecting a part of ourselves. Great reminder!
Love that “puzzle piece” analogy. But I must interject here and say yes, pieces need to be opposite to click together, pero we have to first make sure they’re from the same puzzle! ; ) BB2U
Good point! And, if their not from the same puzzle, it wouldn’t make sense to try to “force” one of the pieces to fit or be different than what it is. You’d accept that their are from differnt puzzles. Not “bad” or “wrong.” Just “different.” 😉