by Gladys Diaz
I was in a very dark place in my life…
16 years ago tonight, I was in a very dark space.
I had finally started getting to the place where I felt I could at least start going out to meet people. I didn’t feel ready to fall in love, but I did want to stop feeling the sadness and loneliness I’d felt since my husband had passed away.
There was one guy I knew who I’d been talking on the phone with. We’d gone out with a group once and then went out on a date, but he was very clear that he did not want to be in a relationship. I told him I felt the same way, but, as the weeks went on, I found myself calling him when he didn’t call me and leaving voicemail messages, texting him, and constantly trying to get on his radar (all the mistakes I now teach women to avoid making)!
We were supposed to go out one Friday night (I had asked him out!) and, when I hadn’t heard from him for several days, I decided on Friday morning that I’d been stood up.
All of my fears and insecurities around ever being able to love and be loved again came rushing to the surface. I cried until my eyes hurt and just kept repeating, “This is why it’s just better for me to be alone.”
Thankfully, my best friend was NOT going to leave me in that space, and she invited me to go out dancing that evening.
I decided that dancing with her was better than being in my small apartment alone, so we went out dancing.
Right before we walked in, I decided, “I’m just going to have FUN! I’m not going to think about him or about how hurt I feel. I really just want to have fun!”
And, my goodness, did I have fun!
I danced with everyone who asked me to. I probably danced with at least 12 different guys.
All except the one guy who kept staring at me from the DJ booth.
He was so cute and just kept bobbing his head to the music while holding his Corona.
We kept catching one another’s eyes, smile, and then I’d go back to dancing.
Long story short, right as I was getting ready to leave the bar, our eyes locked and he nodded his head for me to come over.
I was not about to walk across a dance floor to talk to some guy (!), so I mocked him and made the same gesture to him with my head. And he came over!
We talked for several hours and he asked me for my number (I was too scared to give him my cell phone number, so I gave him the number to my work pager number! Oy!)
I gave him a hug as he left and could not stop smiling.
I didn’t know that evening that he would call me the next day one minute after getting out of work.
I didn’t know that evening that we’d go out on our first date a couple of days later.
And I surely didn’t know that night that we’d be married a year later!
All I knew was that I was grateful that I hadn’t let the unhappiness of one moment stop me from allowing myself to experience a fun evening that, had I stayed home, could have resulted in me never having met him!
I don’t know what painful situation you’ve been through or are going through.
I don’t know why you’ve held on to a dead-end relationship or a broken heart for so long.
I don’t know why you won’t do what it takes to break through that pain and fear so that you can experience love again.
What I do know is that, unless something changes, nothing will change! You’ll keep feeling sad, hurt, and hopeless, and, meanwhile, be missing out on the opportunity to experience the love of a lifetime.
I also know that we can help you get to the other side of pain and suffering so that you can begin feeling the love and happiness you desire and deserve.
So, what can you do about it?
- Be real with yourself about the fact that, right now, you are the one standing in your own way. Whatever happened in the past has already happened. It is not happening right now. The only thing happening right now is whatever choices you are making that are stopping you from releasing yourself from the past so that you can experience love NOW!
- Write down a description of what it is you want to experience in a romantic relationship. And as you write it, believe it! For example: “I want a, fun, loving, passionate relationship where I feel completely loved and accepted for who I am!” Include the words that matter most to you in your description (love, trust, acceptance, honesty, etc.) and be really detailed in describing how you want to feel!
- Write down three steps you can take to begin moving in the direction of creating this type of relationship.
- Do you need to create and post an online profile?
- Do you need to get out of your house and actually start meeting people?
- Do you need to apologize to your boyfriend or husband for something you’ve been doing that has been negatively impacting your relationship so that you can begin experiencing love and intimacy again?
Be clear in the action steps you are going to take and then give yourself a deadline on your calendar by when you will take each step.
Now, I get that it’s not always easy to do this kind of work yourself. You may feel like you’re not sure what to write or what’s standing in your way. You also may need someone to help hold you accountable so that you will actually do what you say you’re going to do.
That’s where we come in!
Now, this is my anniversary weekend, so I’m taking the weekend off, but I do have some spots open on my calendar for Monday and Tuesday of next week.
If you’d like to schedule time to talk on either of those days, go ahead and click the link below and schedule a time to talk. (Act fast, my calendar fills up quickly!)
And, since you have to wait a few of days before you can speak to me, I’ll send you a little something you can use between now and our call!
Click here to schedule time to talk!
I had no way of knowing 16 years ago that my life was going to change forever! There was no way I could have known that I was about to enter into my own love story of a lifetime!
I want the same for you! If you’re ready to take the first step toward your love story of a lifetime, click below, and let’s talk!
