by Gladys Diaz

I was honored when I was invited to speak at the Jazz in the Gardens Women’s Impact Conference and Luncheon on March 15, 2013.  Just the name “Women’s Impact Conference” was enough to make me want to be part of the event.   Add to that the name of my topic – “Datable Me” – and I was hooked!

During the session, I chose to focus on, not so much dating tips (although I did include some of those), but on who we are as women, and how we can step into our feminine power and make every date a fun and new opportunity to discover something about the man we are on a date with and ourselves.  I talked about how, by simply choosing to shift our perspective, from viewing dating (and relationships) as “hard,” “difficult,” and “exhausting,” to fun and exciting, we can create each date as an opportunity to experience new possibilities and be pleasantly surprised each and every time.

By the way, this is a topic of interest for women who are married and in committed relationships, too.  One of the most common questions I get is: What can I do to keep the love alive, even after we’ve been together or married a while?” 

The answer: Plan on dating him for the rest of your life!

So, what are some of the ways that we can be more “datable” and have dating become something we experience as fun and new?

1.       Be open.   Be open to the endless possibilities that are available to you.  Rather than going on a date already knowing that the guy is not right for you, that you’re probably not going to have a good time, or that you’ll probably be disappointed, choose to open your mind – and heart – up to the possibilities that are waiting for you.  Be open to the idea that the man who will help create and share the relationship you dream of may not look like you think he will, may not drive the type of car you think he should, and may not have the type of job you’d like him to have.  And be open to learning and experiencing new things, considering new ideas, and the possibility that you might actually have a great time on the date!

2.       Be present.   One of the things that can make dating (and relationships) so exhausting, is that many of us are rarely ever on the actual date.  We’re either rewinding to the past, making sure we avoid something that happened or trying recreate something we liked, or we’re fast-forwarding into the future, thinking about what we should wear when we go out again, whether or not he’s going to introduce us to his friends, and if he’ll take us with him on that vacation he’s planning this summer (never mind that he hasn’t even asked us out on another date!). Add to that the temptation to fill the space with nervous chatter, rarely giving him a chance to think or speak if there’s anything longer than a two-second pause, and yes, after a couple of hours, we’re going to be exhausted! The key to knowing whether or not you even want to go out on another date with him is to be present – actually be on the date – and check in with yourself to see whether or not he’s someone you’d like to go out with again and get to know better.

 3.       Be light-hearted.    Most great romances started out with a really fun first date.  Try not to take dating – or yourself – so seriously.  One of the things that has dating occur as hard or exhausting is that we come into it so seriously and making everything he says or does mean that he might hurt us, is not ready to commit, or is wasting our time.  Instead of being so heavy and significant, when you’re having a good time on a date, inform your face! Let him know you’re enjoying his company, the meal, his sense of humor, or the activity you’re doing together.  If a guy isn’t sure about whether or not you had a good time, he’s probably not going to risk rejection by asking you out on another date.

These are just some of the ways we can become more datable. I’ll share some in my next blog post.

If you’d like to learn even more and you live in the South Florida Area, you’ll want to join us for our Free Orientation Meeting about the “Attract and Marry the Man Who’s Right for You” 1-Day Workshop.  The event, as I mentioned is FREE, and you will be able to experience some of the exercises and conversations we’ll be doing during the 1-Day Workshop.  We’re also going to be offering an incredible discount to the people who attend and register for the workshop at the Orientation Meeting.  To learn more and register for this FREE event, click here.

You deserve to experience the joy of loving and being loved for the rest of your life – as a woman, it’s your birthright! Dating is the access to meeting the man who will have the honor of loving you in return.  It’s up to you to make that process as fun, fulfilling, and empowering as possible for YOU!

Questions? Comments?  Let us know below.  We love hearing from you!

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