by Gladys Diaz

The other day, I had a meltdown… and not a little one, either! I had a full-blown meltdown at the bottom of the stairs in my home like I haven’t had in years!

I’d had a pretty busy day scheduled, and I ended up having to add two additional activities to my list – including having some materials printed that I’d stayed up all night creating, picking them up, and then braving a 3-hour round trip in rush hour traffic with my two kids to deliver the materials in time for an event.

As tired as I was, I was also feeling pretty proud of myself for having accomplished even the unexpected events with grace and ease. I proudly showed my husband the materials I’d had printed and, in less than 2 seconds, he noticed that I’d left out a critical piece of information! That was it – the proverbial last drop in my overflowing bucket! I crumpled into a puddle of tears at the bottom of my staircase, completely frustrated, and just sobbed.

Immediately, my husband rushed over to console me. He held me and, as he often does, began giving me solutions, offering ways in which I could “fix” the problem. Years ago, I would have gotten angry at him for trying to fix things. This time, all I could do was keep crying because none of the ideas he was offering sounded viable at that moment.

A few minutes later, my older son came over and held me in his arms. He reminded me that it wasn’t so bad and that I was a great mother. He said he was sorry I was so sad and that he wished he could fix the problem for me.

Once he went up the stairs, my little one came with tears in his eyes. Bravely, he said, “Mama, just think about all of the good things in your life and you’ll feel better.” Then he hugged me tightly and left the room.

As I sat there, still in tears, a smile made its way across my face.

See, my three guys aren’t used to seeing me in that state. Usually, I’m pretty positive, find ways to problem-solve, and am the one encouraging them.

On that day, however, they were there for me. Each of them, in his own way, gave me exactly what I needed – love and the belief that everything would be okay!

In the midst of my vulnerability, what was sparked in them was the desire to protect me and let me know that they were there for me.

You may believe, as many people do, that vulnerability is a sign weakness. You may see it as something that opens you up to being hurt by another. While that may be true in some instances, what vulnerability does is that it opens the doorway to intimacy. It allows others to connect with you in a way that simply isn’t possible when you’re being guarded and holding people at arms’ length.

For men, vulnerability ignites in them the desire to protect us. It has them step up and be our heroes. It allows them to connect with us on a real level – a gut level.

To be clear, vulnerability doesn’t mean you have to be in tears, like I was. It just means letting your guard down long enough to let someone in and be there for you. It means allowing him to see who you really are so that he can connect with you, because, without vulnerability, there is no room for intimacy.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day – not because of all of the things that got accomplished or the things that went wrong. I think what I’ll always remember is how incredibly loved and cherished I felt on that day; how safe I felt knowing that my three guys were there for me; and how happy I felt knowing that, not only am I not doing so badly at this wife-and-mom-thing, but that my boys have an amazing example of how to be a loving man in their father.

And, when I think about all of these good things, as my little one suggested I do, all I feel is blessed!

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