Do you struggle making time for your love life? You may be a single mom and have a hard time finding a babysitter.
Maybe you travel a lot for work and find it hard to make time for dating or your partner.
Finding time for dating can feel challenging.
Juggling work commitments, household responsibilities, and parenting duties can make it seem that there’s little room for personal endeavors.
We get it.
Both Gladys and I are entrepreneurs running multiple businesses, wives, mothers, and dog-moms. We have clients, team members and family to take care of – on top of making time for our own work-outs, self-care and rest.
I remember when I was a single mom trying to make it all work and wondering if it was possible to have it all…
The thing to remember is that carving out time for romance is essential for self-care and building meaningful connections.
In this blog post, we’ll explore practical strategies and mindset shifts to help busy professionals and single moms make time for dating in their demanding lives.
#1: Make Your Love Life and Dating a Top Priority in Your Life
The first thing you must do is make dating a top priority. Right up there with taking care of yourself.
If you don’t make your love life a priority then another summer goes by and you’re still alone. Another birthday comes and goes and you aren’t spending it with the one you love.
Let’s get rid of regret and start creating your dreams NOW!
Dating isn’t just another thing you have to do and until you start relating to it as self-care and not an item to be checked off your list – only then will you start enjoying it and start creating the results you want!
#2: Prioritize Self-Care
As a single mom and professional, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care. When you don’t, you slowly begin to resent the people in your life that need you and want to spend time with you. This puts you in low energy and makes it impossible to attract the things you want into your life!
When you prioritize taking care of yourself, you boost your well-being AND enhance your ability to be present and engaged in dating.
Set aside dedicated time each day and week for activities that rejuvenate you, such as exercise, meditating, praying, reading, pursuing a hobby (or sitting and doing nothing if that’s what you want to do)! By nurturing your own happiness, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the complexities of dating while managing your all of your other responsibilities.
#3: Create Opportunities in Your Schedule to Date and Spend Time With Your Partner
Sometimes you get to be creative when you have a lot of priorities and are short on time.
Remember how I said we get it? We do!
Sometimes spending time together looks like long walks, movies and going to bed together. And sometimes we get to be creative!
If Arnie and I have a particularly full day, we’ll wake up 15 minutes early so we can sit on the porch and have our coffee together.
Gladys and Ric go to lunch together every single Friday, which they’ve been doing for years!
Because prioritizing our relationships is important to us and it’s imperative to keeping the love alive!
If you’re looking at opportunities to meet men as something you dread or as a time-waster – it’s time to shift your mindset and embrace meeting men as something that is fun and worth it!
#4: Create a Structure for Your Time and Manage Your Time Well
You’re precious, your time is precious and you get to manage it well.
Prioritize your tasks, set realistic deadlines, plan dating into your calendar and create a structured schedule.
Look for pockets of time in your routine where you can squeeze in a date or a brief phone call with a potential partner.
TIP: You don’t need to be juggling 15 dating apps and chatting with 100 men at a time – now that might feel overwhelming!
You need to be on three dating apps with a profile that will attract the men who are a match for you!
As a busy professional and/or single mom, making time for dating can feel like an uphill battle. However, by shifting your mindset and making it a priority, prioritizing self-care, creating creative opportunities to date, creating a structure for it and managing your time well, you can successfully integrate dating into your busy life.
Remember, finding love and nurturing relationships is a vital aspect of personal growth and happiness!
Imagine you were in a conversation with someone where you felt upset, pressured, threatened or angry. How would you normally respond? There was a time when I would get into arguments with people, over things that didn’t even matter the next day. I would be so sure that I was right… …there’d be a big blow-up, and then… …I’d just move on like they never existed. That worked for me – until it didn’t. When I started to recognize how distant all of my relationships were and how impossible I was making it to get close enough to anyone to create an intimate, loving, supportive partnership – I knew something needed to change! Can you relate? When our fear response is set off, our “reptilian brain” kicks in and our human, automatic response is triggered. Hormones are released, the subconscious is activated and an emotional response ensues. And whatever you do when that situation arises is what you do – without even thinking about it. You either:
FIGHT – You lash out with criticism, bitterness, yelling and insults in an attempt to deal with the fear and hurt you’re feeling. You have an “adult temper tantrum” and everyone has to know you’re upset.
FREEZE – You hold in your feelings and internalize your anger, eventually creating sickness in your body.
FLEE – You withdraw, avoid and numb out your emotions.
What’s your pattern when your triggers are set off? When this automatic pattern is triggered, you’re not even aware of what’s happening.
You’re not conscious that you could be doing things another way. You feel great in the moment, but then, when the adrenaline wears off – you have the emotional hangover that you don’t know what to do with. The thing is, there’s something bigger underneath it all. The pattern is simply the coping mechanism you developed as a child to deal with the pain, hurt and heartbreak and when those fears that are still present for you are triggered – your pattern goes off. The thing about love and intimate relationships is that these patterns simply don’t work. There’s nothing men despise more than drama. What men want more than anything else is a woman who’s emotionally mature – even more than they want someone they’re physically attracted to! They want a woman who knows herself, knows her triggers and has learned how to handle her emotions with grace. The good news is there’s a way you can break these patterns. It’s possible to feel your feelings, communicate your needs AND show up the way you want to!
It’s not about perfection, it’s about being able to get upset and handle it with grace. If you don’t want to continue the patterns of your past, you get to create not just new ways – but effective ways to do things differently. If you want to attract a man who’s a match for you, then you get to BE the woman that’s going to attract that. This is why we’re so passionate about you joining us at Irresistible Woman LIVE! Over the course of 3 days we’ll be doing the HeartWork necessary to release the pain of the past and give you the tools to be able to communicate and relate to yourself and others effectively! You’ll come out of the three-day weekend event KNOWING not only that you ARE an Irresistible Woman but also be able to show up as her in every area of your life! What’s possible when you show up that way is literally incredible.
And that’s what we want for you! There’s only one more day – TODAY – to grab your ticket to Irresistible Woman LIVE PLUS all of the bonuses we’re currently offering for $97. Tonight at midnight Eastern time the price is going up and the bonuses are going away, so if you’ve been on the fence – the time to act is now. Grab the Ultimate Love Bundle! If you have toxic patterns, you’ll attract toxic men and create toxic relationships. It’s just that simple. When you learn how to rewrite those patterns and show up as the graceful, beautiful, Irresistible Woman that you are – that’s when the magic happens! When you’re able to have circumstances show up and you’re unchanged – that’s real power! Join us at The Irresistible Woman LIVE and step into your power now!
I had a deep wave of emotion hit me yesterday that I couldn’t explain… until later…
As you know, yesterday was Mother’s Day, and, as I sat there having a delicious Chinese meal with my mom, husband and children, I had a wave of emotion flood over me, and I couldn’t explain why until I thought about it later that night.
See, we weren’t wealthy growing up. As a matter of fact, there were times when we really struggled, and I remember overhearing arguments about money, how there wasn’t any, and what my parents were going to do to make ends meet, pay the rent and put food on the table.
Fights were not uncommon growing up, and I remember many nights praying in my bed at night, quiet tears streaming out the side of my eyes and onto my pillow, silently begging God to please make things better, to have my parents get along, and to please make the yelling stop. I just wanted to feel safe!
When things weren’t so bad, we could splurge a little. That often meant ordering Chinese food for dinner, and it was such a treat!
I remember the smell of the special fried rice filling our dining room, the taste of the salty soy sauce I would always put too much of on my rice, and the feeling that we were going to be okay as we ate and smiled at one another across the dinner table, silently hoping that moment would never end — not just the delicious food, but the peace — the fact that, for this moment, there was no fighting, only joy.
Fast forward 40-something years, and here I was, sitting at a table with my mom, husband, and my two boys. We were laughing and enjoying some tasty special fried rice, and an unexpected wave of emotion created a ball in my throat and tears in my eyes that caught me by surprise.
Why am I crying? Everything is okay… more than okay…
It wasn’t until later that night, on the drive home, that it hit me why I felt so emotional.
See, I made a decision 30 years ago that I was going to have a different life than the one I grew up seeing. I would live a life of love and peace. If I chose to marry and have children, they would never know what it was like to cry themselves to sleep over problems that weren’t theirs to solve or praying for the fighting to stop.
Moving forward, the history of of broken homes and hearts would come to an end, and I would write a new story — one where my past and the past of my ancestors would not determine my future or the future of my children and their children.
I did a lot of spiritual and personal development work to heal, transform, and recreate myself over the years. And, now, as I ate at this table, I was seeing the evidence of that promise I made to myself having been kept. And it was beautiful!
My kids don’t have to cover their ears to not hear yelling.
They don’t have to worry if they are safe and if they’re going to be okay.
They get to live in a house where love and peace are present every day and their needs — physical and emotional — are abundantly met.
They know their parents love one another and them.
My kids are safe and they feel safe.
There is no greater gift I could give them or receive for Mother’s Day. This is the life I always dreamed of for myself and them!
I don’t know if you experienced fighting, violence, addiction or any other kind of traumatic experiences growing up. I don’t know if you are seeing history being repeated in your home, or if the life you are living is not the one you set out to create for yourself.
What I do know is that one of the BEST gifts we can give ourselves and our families is that of breaking the chains of the past; leaving the past behind, where it belongs; and creating a life worth living! One overflowing with peace, and happiness, and love!
If you are not living the story you want for yourself and your children (whether you have them now or you hope to have them in the future), then I’m inviting you to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.
On this call, we will take a look at what your ultimate goals are when it comes to love and relationships, what some of the barriers to having that kind of love are, and I will give you some concrete steps you can begin to follow now so that you can create the loving relationship you want.
You can’t rewrite history, but you CAN create a new future for yourself that is completely free from the past or anything else that may be stopping you from experiencing the love, happiness, and fulfillment you want.
No matter what happened in your past, if you aren’t living in the happy, loving relationship of your dreams, something is in the way! Let’s find out what it is and remove it so that you can finally have and live in the relationship you have always wanted!
Wow! We received some great questions and ideas for video blogs about dating and relationships! If you have a question you’d like us to answer, just write it in the comments below and let us know what it is!
As you know, in “How to Start Dating Again, Part 1,” I gave 2 steps to take before you begin dating again. The first one – honoring your desire to be in a loving relationship – is true for both singles and single moms alike!
In this video, Michelle shares two additional tips! The first one is a “must” for all single women who are on a date, and the second tip is specific to single moms who are wondering how and when to introduce someone to their children!
Remember, if you’re not single, but you know a single mom who wants to get ready to date and love again, make sure you share the LOVE with her by sending he the link to the video
Just click the image below to view and share these tips!
You truly do deserve to have the love and happiness your heart desires, and we want to do everything we can to help you make your dreams come true!
Watch the video and, if you have a question you’d like us to answer, justpost it in the comments below, and we’ll be happy to answer it for you!!
The other day, I had a meltdown… and not a little one, either! I had a full-blown meltdown at the bottom of the stairs in my home like I haven’t had in years!
I’d had a pretty busy day scheduled, and I ended up having to add two additional activities to my list – including having some materials printed that I’d stayed up all night creating, picking them up, and then braving a 3-hour round trip in rush hour traffic with my two kids to deliver the materials in time for an event.
As tired as I was, I was also feeling pretty proud of myself for having accomplished even the unexpected events with grace and ease. I proudly showed my husband the materials I’d had printed and, in less than 2 seconds, he noticed that I’d left out a critical piece of information! That was it – the proverbial last drop in my overflowing bucket! I crumpled into a puddle of tears at the bottom of my staircase, completely frustrated, and just sobbed.
Immediately, my husband rushed over to console me. He held me and, as he often does, began giving me solutions, offering ways in which I could “fix” the problem. Years ago, I would have gotten angry at him for trying to fix things. This time, all I could do was keep crying because none of the ideas he was offering sounded viable at that moment.
A few minutes later, my older son came over and held me in his arms. He reminded me that it wasn’t so bad and that I was a great mother. He said he was sorry I was so sad and that he wished he could fix the problem for me.
Once he went up the stairs, my little one came with tears in his eyes. Bravely, he said, “Mama, just think about all of the good things in your life and you’ll feel better.” Then he hugged me tightly and left the room.
As I sat there, still in tears, a smile made its way across my face.
See, my three guys aren’t used to seeing me in that state. Usually, I’m pretty positive, find ways to problem-solve, and am the one encouraging them.
On that day, however, they were there for me. Each of them, in his own way, gave me exactly what I needed – love and the belief that everything would be okay!
In the midst of my vulnerability, what was sparked in them was the desire to protect me and let me know that they were there for me.
You may believe, as many people do, that vulnerability is a sign weakness. You may see it as something that opens you up to being hurt by another. While that may be true in some instances, what vulnerability does is that it opens the doorway to intimacy. It allows others to connect with you in a way that simply isn’t possible when you’re being guarded and holding people at arms’ length.
For men, vulnerability ignites in them the desire to protect us. It has them step up and be our heroes. It allows them to connect with us on a real level – a gut level.
To be clear, vulnerability doesn’t mean you have to be in tears, like I was. It just means letting your guard down long enough to let someone in and be there for you. It means allowing him to see who you really are so that he can connect with you, because, without vulnerability, there is no room for intimacy.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day – not because of all of the things that got accomplished or the things that went wrong. I think what I’ll always remember is how incredibly loved and cherished I felt on that day; how safe I felt knowing that my three guys were there for me; and how happy I felt knowing that, not only am I not doing so badly at this wife-and-mom-thing, but that my boys have an amazing example of how to be a loving man in their father.
And, when I think about all of these good things, as my little one suggested I do, all I feel is blessed!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
November is one of my favorite months of the year because it seems as if most of us are more present to the blessings we have in our lives. The more present we are to our blessings, the more gratitude we feel, the more we begin to see more of what we want in our lives. It’s pretty amazing the way that happens!
If you’re reading this, it’s likely that there is one thing in particular you desire to have more of in your life: LOVE!
Love is one of our purest and deepest desires because you are a loving being. You were made of love, to love, and for love. It’s simply who you are!
During the month of November, Michelle and I have partnered up with some amazing women who are just as committed as we are to guiding you to get more of what you want in your life! And, because we are all about you creating and experiencing the life and love your heart desires, we’re not keeping it only to attracting more romantic love into your life.
Over the next several weeks, we’ll be sharing opportunities for you to participate in both live and virtual events that will enable you to:
Access more of what you want through practicing gratitude on a daily basis
Manifest more abundance and success in all of the areas of your life
Create harmony between your professional, personal, and family life
End 2014 powerfully so that you can move into 2015 with grace, ease, and equipped to fulfill the desires of your heart
And, of course, we’ll continue to provide you with the tools, skills, and solutions that guide you toward creating the extraordinary life and love you desire and deserve!
Now, we intend to give to our hearts’ content, and we want you to prepare yourself to receive.
We realize that may sound strange, but the truth is that receiving – particularly when you are being given more than you feel you desire or deserve – can sometimes feel uncomfortable.
Rather than receiving the blessings coming to us, we tend to block or push them away out of guilt, fear, or habit.
That’s why it’s important to prepare yourself and your heart to receive!
Here are a few steps to help prepare yourself to receive all of the gifts, information, and invitations we will be sharing with you, along with the other blessings that are coming your way!
Remember that you are worthy of every gift, offer of assistance, compliment, and smile you receive.You are a beautiful loving being, and, because of that, you attract beauty and love. So, if you begin to feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable, or “weird” when you are begin given gifts of any kind, simply tell yourself: I am a beautiful, loving being, and I am worthy of all of the beauty and love I am attracting and receiving in my life!
Remember that there are no strings attached to the gifts, offers, compliments, or smiles you receive. Part of what makes receiving difficult is that we somehow feel like we’ll owe the other person something of equal or greater value in return. That kind of thinking is associated with a feeling of unworthiness and keeps us from receiving what others freely want to give us. So, if you begin to feel those strings getting attached, cut them immediately by repeating the affirmation above, and add: I openly and willingly receive the loving gifts and gestures others freely give me.
Remember to be grateful for everything! Whether you’re in a space right now where you feel like you don’t have enough of what you want or need, or you are relishing in a feeling of abundance, gratitude is the doorway to experiencing more happiness, peace, love, and everything else your heart desires. So, make it a practice to take just a few minutes each day to just take inventory of the blessings in your life and express gratitude for at least 5 things every day. You can write them down, or simply say them aloud or to yourself. However you choose to express it, just take a few moments at the beginning and end of each day to say, “I am grateful for…”
Bonus: Remember to be grateful in anticipation of receiving what you want!One of my favorite practices of all time is expressing gratitude in anticipation of receiving what I want. After expressing thanks for the blessings that already surround me, I begin to express thanks for the blessings that are making their way to me. So, if you want to meet the man of your dreams, already give thanks for the fact that he is making his way to you. If you are married or in a relationship, express thanks for the love that is growing between the two of you and for all of the beautiful memories you will create together. If there is something you desire for your family, career, or business, give thanks in advance for those blessings that are being manifested. And, as you do this, allow yourself to actually feel and experience the love, happiness, freedom and peace in anticipation of receiving the blessing. I promise you, this will be life-changing!
If you practice these steps, you will begin to experience the joy of receiving. And, in doing so, you also give the people who are giving to you the joy of having their gift received and appreciated! It creates a beautiful cycle of giving, receiving, and appreciation that keeps growing and multiplying the blessings!
So, take a deep breath…
Open your heart…
And receive the love and blessings that are coming your way!
And, just because we love surprising you with gifts, here’s a sneak peek into the events you can take part in over the next few weeks!
Redefining Womanhood Series (Launches November 10, 2014): Discover 21 Creative Solutions for paving your own path to success in work, marriage, and parenting from top female leaders who are paving the way and redefining what it means to be “A Successful Woman” in today’s world! Click here to reserve your spot!
10 Days of Gratitude Video Series (Launches November 20, 2014): Join Mia Saenz as she hosts 10 inspirational interviews all focused on the incredible power that gratitude has on our lives! (Registration link coming soon!)
Remember: Give thanks… Believe… Receive!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
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