I had a deep wave of emotion hit me yesterday that I couldn’t explain… until later…
As you know, yesterday was Mother’s Day, and, as I sat there having a delicious Chinese meal with my mom, husband and children, I had a wave of emotion flood over me, and I couldn’t explain why until I thought about it later that night.
See, we weren’t wealthy growing up. As a matter of fact, there were times when we really struggled, and I remember overhearing arguments about money, how there wasn’t any, and what my parents were going to do to make ends meet, pay the rent and put food on the table.
Fights were not uncommon growing up, and I remember many nights praying in my bed at night, quiet tears streaming out the side of my eyes and onto my pillow, silently begging God to please make things better, to have my parents get along, and to please make the yelling stop. I just wanted to feel safe!
When things weren’t so bad, we could splurge a little. That often meant ordering Chinese food for dinner, and it was such a treat!
I remember the smell of the special fried rice filling our dining room, the taste of the salty soy sauce I would always put too much of on my rice, and the feeling that we were going to be okay as we ate and smiled at one another across the dinner table, silently hoping that moment would never end — not just the delicious food, but the peace — the fact that, for this moment, there was no fighting, only joy.
Fast forward 40-something years, and here I was, sitting at a table with my mom, husband, and my two boys. We were laughing and enjoying some tasty special fried rice, and an unexpected wave of emotion created a ball in my throat and tears in my eyes that caught me by surprise.
Why am I crying? Everything is okay… more than okay…
It wasn’t until later that night, on the drive home, that it hit me why I felt so emotional.
See, I made a decision 30 years ago that I was going to have a different life than the one I grew up seeing. I would live a life of love and peace. If I chose to marry and have children, they would never know what it was like to cry themselves to sleep over problems that weren’t theirs to solve or praying for the fighting to stop.
Moving forward, the history of of broken homes and hearts would come to an end, and I would write a new story — one where my past and the past of my ancestors would not determine my future or the future of my children and their children.
I did a lot of spiritual and personal development work to heal, transform, and recreate myself over the years. And, now, as I ate at this table, I was seeing the evidence of that promise I made to myself having been kept. And it was beautiful!
My kids don’t have to cover their ears to not hear yelling.
They don’t have to worry if they are safe and if they’re going to be okay.
They get to live in a house where love and peace are present every day and their needs — physical and emotional — are abundantly met.
They know their parents love one another and them.
My kids are safe and they feel safe.
There is no greater gift I could give them or receive for Mother’s Day. This is the life I always dreamed of for myself and them!
I don’t know if you experienced fighting, violence, addiction or any other kind of traumatic experiences growing up. I don’t know if you are seeing history being repeated in your home, or if the life you are living is not the one you set out to create for yourself.
What I do know is that one of the BEST gifts we can give ourselves and our families is that of breaking the chains of the past; leaving the past behind, where it belongs; and creating a life worth living! One overflowing with peace, and happiness, and love!
If you are not living the story you want for yourself and your children (whether you have them now or you hope to have them in the future), then I’m inviting you to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.
On this call, we will take a look at what your ultimate goals are when it comes to love and relationships, what some of the barriers to having that kind of love are, and I will give you some concrete steps you can begin to follow now so that you can create the loving relationship you want.
You can’t rewrite history, but you CAN create a new future for yourself that is completely free from the past or anything else that may be stopping you from experiencing the love, happiness, and fulfillment you want.
No matter what happened in your past, if you aren’t living in the happy, loving relationship of your dreams, something is in the way! Let’s find out what it is and remove it so that you can finally have and live in the relationship you have always wanted!
Wow! We received some great questions and ideas for video blogs about dating and relationships! If you have a question you’d like us to answer, just write it in the comments below and let us know what it is!
As you know, in “How to Start Dating Again, Part 1,” I gave 2 steps to take before you begin dating again. The first one – honoring your desire to be in a loving relationship – is true for both singles and single moms alike!
In this video, Michelle shares two additional tips! The first one is a “must” for all single women who are on a date, and the second tip is specific to single moms who are wondering how and when to introduce someone to their children!
Remember, if you’re not single, but you know a single mom who wants to get ready to date and love again, make sure you share the LOVE with her by sending he the link to the video
Just click the image below to view and share these tips!
You truly do deserve to have the love and happiness your heart desires, and we want to do everything we can to help you make your dreams come true!
Watch the video and, if you have a question you’d like us to answer, justpost it in the comments below, and we’ll be happy to answer it for you!!
The other day, I had a meltdown… and not a little one, either! I had a full-blown meltdown at the bottom of the stairs in my home like I haven’t had in years!
I’d had a pretty busy day scheduled, and I ended up having to add two additional activities to my list – including having some materials printed that I’d stayed up all night creating, picking them up, and then braving a 3-hour round trip in rush hour traffic with my two kids to deliver the materials in time for an event.
As tired as I was, I was also feeling pretty proud of myself for having accomplished even the unexpected events with grace and ease. I proudly showed my husband the materials I’d had printed and, in less than 2 seconds, he noticed that I’d left out a critical piece of information! That was it – the proverbial last drop in my overflowing bucket! I crumpled into a puddle of tears at the bottom of my staircase, completely frustrated, and just sobbed.
Immediately, my husband rushed over to console me. He held me and, as he often does, began giving me solutions, offering ways in which I could “fix” the problem. Years ago, I would have gotten angry at him for trying to fix things. This time, all I could do was keep crying because none of the ideas he was offering sounded viable at that moment.
A few minutes later, my older son came over and held me in his arms. He reminded me that it wasn’t so bad and that I was a great mother. He said he was sorry I was so sad and that he wished he could fix the problem for me.
Once he went up the stairs, my little one came with tears in his eyes. Bravely, he said, “Mama, just think about all of the good things in your life and you’ll feel better.” Then he hugged me tightly and left the room.
As I sat there, still in tears, a smile made its way across my face.
See, my three guys aren’t used to seeing me in that state. Usually, I’m pretty positive, find ways to problem-solve, and am the one encouraging them.
On that day, however, they were there for me. Each of them, in his own way, gave me exactly what I needed – love and the belief that everything would be okay!
In the midst of my vulnerability, what was sparked in them was the desire to protect me and let me know that they were there for me.
You may believe, as many people do, that vulnerability is a sign weakness. You may see it as something that opens you up to being hurt by another. While that may be true in some instances, what vulnerability does is that it opens the doorway to intimacy. It allows others to connect with you in a way that simply isn’t possible when you’re being guarded and holding people at arms’ length.
For men, vulnerability ignites in them the desire to protect us. It has them step up and be our heroes. It allows them to connect with us on a real level – a gut level.
To be clear, vulnerability doesn’t mean you have to be in tears, like I was. It just means letting your guard down long enough to let someone in and be there for you. It means allowing him to see who you really are so that he can connect with you, because, without vulnerability, there is no room for intimacy.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day – not because of all of the things that got accomplished or the things that went wrong. I think what I’ll always remember is how incredibly loved and cherished I felt on that day; how safe I felt knowing that my three guys were there for me; and how happy I felt knowing that, not only am I not doing so badly at this wife-and-mom-thing, but that my boys have an amazing example of how to be a loving man in their father.
And, when I think about all of these good things, as my little one suggested I do, all I feel is blessed!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
November is one of my favorite months of the year because it seems as if most of us are more present to the blessings we have in our lives. The more present we are to our blessings, the more gratitude we feel, the more we begin to see more of what we want in our lives. It’s pretty amazing the way that happens!
If you’re reading this, it’s likely that there is one thing in particular you desire to have more of in your life: LOVE!
Love is one of our purest and deepest desires because you are a loving being. You were made of love, to love, and for love. It’s simply who you are!
During the month of November, Michelle and I have partnered up with some amazing women who are just as committed as we are to guiding you to get more of what you want in your life! And, because we are all about you creating and experiencing the life and love your heart desires, we’re not keeping it only to attracting more romantic love into your life.
Over the next several weeks, we’ll be sharing opportunities for you to participate in both live and virtual events that will enable you to:
Access more of what you want through practicing gratitude on a daily basis
Manifest more abundance and success in all of the areas of your life
Create harmony between your professional, personal, and family life
End 2014 powerfully so that you can move into 2015 with grace, ease, and equipped to fulfill the desires of your heart
And, of course, we’ll continue to provide you with the tools, skills, and solutions that guide you toward creating the extraordinary life and love you desire and deserve!
Now, we intend to give to our hearts’ content, and we want you to prepare yourself to receive.
We realize that may sound strange, but the truth is that receiving – particularly when you are being given more than you feel you desire or deserve – can sometimes feel uncomfortable.
Rather than receiving the blessings coming to us, we tend to block or push them away out of guilt, fear, or habit.
That’s why it’s important to prepare yourself and your heart to receive!
Here are a few steps to help prepare yourself to receive all of the gifts, information, and invitations we will be sharing with you, along with the other blessings that are coming your way!
Remember that you are worthy of every gift, offer of assistance, compliment, and smile you receive.You are a beautiful loving being, and, because of that, you attract beauty and love. So, if you begin to feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable, or “weird” when you are begin given gifts of any kind, simply tell yourself: I am a beautiful, loving being, and I am worthy of all of the beauty and love I am attracting and receiving in my life!
Remember that there are no strings attached to the gifts, offers, compliments, or smiles you receive. Part of what makes receiving difficult is that we somehow feel like we’ll owe the other person something of equal or greater value in return. That kind of thinking is associated with a feeling of unworthiness and keeps us from receiving what others freely want to give us. So, if you begin to feel those strings getting attached, cut them immediately by repeating the affirmation above, and add: I openly and willingly receive the loving gifts and gestures others freely give me.
Remember to be grateful for everything! Whether you’re in a space right now where you feel like you don’t have enough of what you want or need, or you are relishing in a feeling of abundance, gratitude is the doorway to experiencing more happiness, peace, love, and everything else your heart desires. So, make it a practice to take just a few minutes each day to just take inventory of the blessings in your life and express gratitude for at least 5 things every day. You can write them down, or simply say them aloud or to yourself. However you choose to express it, just take a few moments at the beginning and end of each day to say, “I am grateful for…”
Bonus: Remember to be grateful in anticipation of receiving what you want!One of my favorite practices of all time is expressing gratitude in anticipation of receiving what I want. After expressing thanks for the blessings that already surround me, I begin to express thanks for the blessings that are making their way to me. So, if you want to meet the man of your dreams, already give thanks for the fact that he is making his way to you. If you are married or in a relationship, express thanks for the love that is growing between the two of you and for all of the beautiful memories you will create together. If there is something you desire for your family, career, or business, give thanks in advance for those blessings that are being manifested. And, as you do this, allow yourself to actually feel and experience the love, happiness, freedom and peace in anticipation of receiving the blessing. I promise you, this will be life-changing!
If you practice these steps, you will begin to experience the joy of receiving. And, in doing so, you also give the people who are giving to you the joy of having their gift received and appreciated! It creates a beautiful cycle of giving, receiving, and appreciation that keeps growing and multiplying the blessings!
So, take a deep breath…
Open your heart…
And receive the love and blessings that are coming your way!
And, just because we love surprising you with gifts, here’s a sneak peek into the events you can take part in over the next few weeks!
Redefining Womanhood Series (Launches November 10, 2014): Discover 21 Creative Solutions for paving your own path to success in work, marriage, and parenting from top female leaders who are paving the way and redefining what it means to be “A Successful Woman” in today’s world! Click here to reserve your spot!
10 Days of Gratitude Video Series (Launches November 20, 2014): Join Mia Saenz as she hosts 10 inspirational interviews all focused on the incredible power that gratitude has on our lives! (Registration link coming soon!)
Remember: Give thanks… Believe… Receive!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
The other day, I was watching one of my favorite TV shows with my family and they were featuring a mother in her 40s who was almost 200 pounds overweight. She was beside herself with sadness and self-loathing because she said she had given up her dreams and could not believe how much she had let herself go after having been an athlete and gymnast in her youth.
Her reason for having gotten to this point?
Being a mom.
She shared how she had gotten pregnant in college and thrown herself into being “the perfect mom” and pastor’s wife. She described how she had put so much focus on being there for her kids that she’s lost herself and forgotten who she was.
I’d like to say this is an isolated incident, but it’s not.
One of the most common fears women share with us is that they are afraid of losing themselves in a relationship.
I work with women all over the world who are trying to prove that they are Superwoman or Supermom, doing everything, working themselves to the point of exhaustion, and ignoring their own needs so that they can please and impress others.
And this isn’t an issue that only affects mothers and wives. I also see women who are single and are throwing themselves into and losing themselves in their careers, giving all of themselves, their time and attention to their bosses and companies and leaving very little time or attention for having fun, dating, and just taking care of themselves.
Unfortunately, all of these women have forgotten that the MOST important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself!
If you don’t take the time to care for yourself by making time to relax, laugh, play, nurture your mind, body, and spirit, you literally have nothing left to give – to yourself or anyone else!
Giving to the point of feeling depleted, mentally and physically exhausted –and many times resentful, because you feel you’re giving, giving, and giving without getting very much in return – not only leaves you unable to have the energy, patience, and enthusiasm to date or create a loving relationship, but also teaches people how to treat you. So it’s unfair to resent the boss who keeps adding things on your plate with no recognition or additional compensation, the PTA President who knows she can call you the night before to do a task that would take anyone else weeks, or your husband who is not helping you around the house or with the kids.
When you don’t take time to make time for yourself, don’t expect others to go out of their way to do that for you, either!
It’s essential that you do something for yourself daily. Whether it’s read a book, talk on the phone with a girlfriend, take that class you’ve been saying you want to take forever, or just sit and do nothing (one of my favorites!).
When you make your needs, dreams, and self-care a priority, you are letting yourself – and the rest of the world know – that you value yourself, believe in your dreams, and know that there isn’t a need to “sacrifice” what you love and makes you happy in order to be a great woman, partner, or mother.
You’ll also find that when you make yourself a priority, all of those people who you love and are trying to make happy will rally around you, be your biggest supporters, and help make sure you have time for yourself and to make your dreams come true!
As we were watching the show, my older son said, “Wow… She had to give up her dreams so she could take care of her kids? “
I responded, “No, she didn’t have to give up her dreams. She chose to. We get to create our lives and make our dreams come true. A woman can be a great mother, have a happy relationship, and still follow her dreams.”
“Oh, yeah, Mama. Like how you take care of us and you’re also helping your clients and building your dreams for Heart’s Desire!”
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!