by Gladys Diaz
Today is Halloween and I’m getting ready to decorate our front yard and start putting together my costume so that I can take my little one out trick-or-treating tonight. I love seeing all the little kids in their costumes, getting a chance to pretend that they are their favorite heroes and characters. I remember how exciting it used to be as a kid, myself (almost as exciting as looking forward to eating all of the candy once I got home!)
Coincidentally, this week I participated in a course on relationships, and one of the things we discussed was how people in relationships hide behind their masks. The instructor explained how in life, we are usually wearing either one of two masks:
When you are wearing your first mask, you show the world only who you want them to see. This is the mask that says:
“I’ve got it all together!”
I’m smart, capable, and just fine on my own! Thank you!”
The other mask is the one that hides what you don’t want others to see. It’s the one that says:
“I’m afraid.”
“I don’t know…”
“I don’t want to face this on my own.”
Wearing the first mask gives you a false sense of confidence. It’s the mask you use to seek approval, to look good and avoid looking bad. And, while it probably helps you accomplish many of your goals, it can also be the one that has you pretending to be pretty much perfect. And people – including men – simply can’t connect with perfection. It doesn’t allow others to get close to you and possibly contribute to you because, well, you’ve already got it all together!
Wearing the second mask can feel scary. It’s the one you try avoiding wearing at all costs. It keeps you from being vulnerable, has you praying no one sees your insecurities or imperfections. So, again, this mask can also push people away. When you’re that afraid of being seen, it’s difficult for the other person to get to know you – the real you.
And, as Michelle and I always say:
He can’t fall in love with YOU, if YOU are not there.
So, for today, I invite you to ask yourself:
Where in my relationships am I wearing a mask?
What am I pretending?
What am I hiding?
What is it that you’re afraid others will see?
Remember, being authentic and vulnerable are essential to creating love and intimacy in a relationship.
Consider removing your masks and looking at who the real you is. Who you are is enough. You are already loveable. There’s no need to pretend, shut out, or push away the people who can and want to give you the love you deserve – including the man who wants nothing more than to let you know that he loves and accepts you just as you are!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
