by Gladys Diaz
I took some of my downtime this weekend to read through some of the articles and newsletters I subscribe to, and I was pretty amazed at how much emphasis some coaches are putting on having women focus on envisioning the type of man they’d like to attract. Now, before I go on, let me reassure you that I am a huge believer in being clear about what you want to attract into your life – especially your love life – so that you can actually experience it. But attracting a great guy into your life is not enough.
The issue I have with focusing only on the type of man you want to attract is that way too much of your energy is being focused outside of yourself, rather than inward, which is where you actually have control over what happens and manifests in your life.
Here’s the thing, I’ve spoken to hundreds of women who are dating, in relationship with, or married to some really great men and they are totally unhappy!
Why is that?
How can a woman attract a wonderful, loving, and generous man into her life and still be unhappy?
Well, one of the reasons is this:
Even if you attract a fantastic man into your life, unless you address the fears, thoughts and behavior patterns that have led to not having a successful relationship, chances are you’re going to self-sabotage your way out of the best thing that could ever happen to you!
See, you could be out there, dating a lot of interesting, intelligent, and commitment-minded men, but if you’re stuck in your head – in the fears, doubts, and resentment of the past – you will not be able to see or recognize what’s right in front of you. And chances are that you’ll resort to familiar thoughts and behaviors and wind up doing things that lead to ending a relationship before it even starts.
You can be dating or married to a wonderful man, and if you don’t know how to speak to him in a way that allows him to hear your feelings, you’re going to be left feeling unheard and like he’s insensitive and doesn’t care about you at all. This will lead to more arguments than you can count – until one of you gets tired enough to end things.
You can be in a relationship with a great guy, and unless you know how to say what you want without nagging, complaining, or criticizing him, he’s going to do one of two things: withdraw or resist. Neither of which leads to creating romance or intimacy!
You can be in a relationship that is romantic, exciting, and everything you ever hoped for at the beginning, and unless you know how to keep that spark alive, you’ll end up feeling bored, stuck, and left wondering whatever happened to that amazing man who swept you off your feet!
The fact is that if you continue doing the things you’ve always done, you are going to continue getting the results you’ve always gotten. It’s that simple.
Knowing how successfully date and be in a relationship, to communicate so that he can listen and respond to you, and how to keep love and romance alive over time takes a specific set of skills. And it’s not about simply knowing what these skills are but also understanding how to implement them so that you are consistently building a solid foundation for a relationship that can last for a lifetime!
So, while, yes, I invite and encourage you to envision the type of relationship you want to have and experience – to really allow yourself to picture it and feel what it will be like to be in it – I also encourage you to do the inner work and learn the skills that are going to have you not only attract a great man into your life, but create a beautiful, loving, intimate relationship that exceeds even your wildest dreams!
Because that’s the type of love you deserve!
On that note, I want to let you know that I’m in the process of interviewing single women and women in relationships who are interested in joining my 6-month coaching program that begins in June. If this is something you would like to learn more about, don’t put your dreams on hold any longer. Just click here and let’s set up a time to talk and create a plan for helping you make your dreams come true!
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