by Gladys Diaz

“I think I’m just not made out to be in a relationship.”

 “I’ve decided that I’m okay not being in a relationship.”

 “Maybe there really isn’t someone out there for me.”

 “I don’t know.  Maybe I’m just meant to be alone.”

Last week, I had no less than 4 single women tell me statements like the ones above. With that many women expressing the same thing to me in one week, I have to believe that there are more out there with the same thoughts.  And, if you’re one of them, I feel it’s my responsibility to set you straight and let you know that you were created for love!

Now, I realize that there are many different types of love – love among family members and friends, love for humanity, and love for our pets.  But I am referring specifically to romantic love.  Yes, there are people in the world who choose to live a life devoid of romantic love – priest, nuns, and others who have chosen to dedicate their life to their ministry, for instance.  But if you want to be in a romantic relationship and dream of being loved, cherished, and adored for a lifetime, trust that that the dream and desire were placed there from the moment you were created and that it is your birthright to experience the joy of loving and being loved every day of your life.

Perhaps you’ve had some bad experiences with love. Maybe you’ve had your heart broken a few too many times.  Or it could be that you end up attracting really great guys, but then “something happens,” and what used to be a happy, romantic, and fulfilling relationship turns into constant fighting and bickering, and, suddenly, all you can see the guy who once took your breath away are all of the little things that you don’t like, the habits that get on your nerves, and the faults you swore you’d never put up with in a relationship.

If any of this is resonating, it could be that, while you desire to be in a loving, fulfilling relationship, you’re also self-sabotaging yourself out of one.  Don’t beat yourself up about it.  Almost every single woman has experienced the consequences of self-sabotage at least once in her life.

We say that we want to date and find the man who is our every dream come true, but, rather than go to the party or singles mixer, we choose to stay home, watch TV, and live romance vicariously through someone else’s pretend life.

We say we want open and honest communication with a man who is trusting and trustworthy, but we keep being attracted to men who lie, cheat, or seem emotionally unavailable.

We say we want to be in a relationship with a great guy who makes time for us, wants to make us happy and wants a commitment, and then, when we find him, he begins to seem “too nice,” not exciting enough, or too clingy.

Why is it that we sabotage ourselves out of the very thing we say we want most?

1. Fear.  Some of us are so afraid that we won’t get the love we want that we close ourselves off, shut men out, and prevent love from finding its way to us.  Or, when we finally find ourselves in a great relationship, we think it’s either too good to be true or it won’t last, so we keep looking for evidence of everything that’s not right, won’t work or won’t last, and we end the relationship before it even begins.  Rather than letting your fears get the best of you and choose for you, step out in faith.  While it’s true that there is always an element of risk when it comes to love, opening your heart up and allowing love to find its way to you could lead to experiencing the love your heart desires.  Believe that not only is finding love possible, but that it’s possible for you! Let your faith be bigger than your fear!

2. Feelings of Unworthiness.  Maybe, along with your fear there is a belief that you don’t really deserve the happiness and love you desire.  Perhaps you’ve never truly loved and accepted yourself – every part of you – even the parts you don’t really like. Or maybe you’ve done something for which you haven’t forgiven yourself.  Or perhaps you feel like you messed up the relationship with the guy who was “The One.” No matter what you’ve done, what has happened, or what mistakes may have been made, we live in a world that is overflowing with love, and you were created to give, receiving, and experience love.  Believe that you are worthy of love.  If you want to take a 30-day journey to discovering self love, read our book 30 Days and 30 Ways to Fall In Love with YOU!  On each day of the journey, you will be taken through a reflection or activity and be given a new affirmation that will bring you closer to falling in love with yourself, which is the access to attracting love into your life.

3. Negative and Limiting Beliefs.  If you have negative or limiting beliefs about men or relationships, it’s possible that you are blocking the love you say you want.  Thinking that there aren’t any good men left, that men are dishonest or incapable of committing, or believing that relationships are hard or not worth the effort or that they never last doesn’t serve you.  Why would anyone want to experience heartache, disappointment, and lack of fulfillment on purpose?  It’s time to turn those negative beliefs into positive affirmations.  Instead of thinking about all of the things you don’t want to experience in a relationship, begin thinking writing, and speaking about the things you do want.  Soon, you will begin to attract those very things into your life and enjoy the love and happiness that are your birthright!

Some of these things may sound easier said than done.  And it’s true that sometimes the hardest thing is getting out of our own way. However, you don’t have to do this alone.  Working with a relationship coach is one of the best ways to get clear about what you want, what’s been stopping you from having it, and the actions you need to take to get the results that you want.  If you are ready to begin attracting the love that you deserve and desire into your life contact us. Helping women experience the love their hearts desire is our mission and purpose and we’d love to work with and empower you with the skills to live the life and love you want!

Questions?  Comments?  Let us know.  We love hearing from you!

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net