by Gladys Diaz

 “Once you choose hope, anything is possible.”

~ Christopher Reeve

In speaking to singles – both men and women – I’ve noticed that they have so many of the same concerns.  There’s the fear of dating, period – some are paralyzed by the thought of putting their profile on an online dating site, or even going out in order to meet people. Others are not “too afraid” of dating.  They are more scared by the thought that they will date and date and not find the person who’s right for them.  And, even those who are dating someone regularly are afraid that he/she may not be “the one,” and that they’ll end up “stuck” with or settling for someone, or even that there may be someone else out there – someone better… (What if “the right one” is out there and I’m with this person, instead?”)

The first thing I do is let them know that their fears and doubts are a normal part of the human nature.  We’re always going to be afraid when we face the unknown.  It’s what drives many of us to become “control freaks” and block many opportunities for getting to know someone, prevent a relationship to flow at its own pace, and judging and assessing everything the other person does or says to make sure he/she’s not “playing” us.  But, while these are “normal” fears and doubts, we do get a say in how we respond and react to them.  We can allow the fear to present itself, and then still take an action that would move us in the direction of what we say we want: a loving, passionate, intimate relationship!

And, how do we do this?  By focusing on three things: Faith, Hope, and Love.

• Faith:  If you’re like most people you probably believe that true love is possible.  However, when you get down to it, do you believe that it’s possible for you?  Or are you honoring a limiting belief that you are the one human being in all of the history of human kind who was created for the sole purpose of living life alone?  If you are entertaining that belief, I invite you to let it go!  You are human, and, as such, were created to belong, be loved, and be part of something bigger than yourself.  Your birthright is to be loved!  So, whenever those limiting thoughts pop into your head, bring faith to your fears and know that love is possible, and it IS possible for YOU!

• Hope: While it can seem like faith and hope mean the same thing, they are actually different.  See faith is believing in what is yet unseen – what has still not come to pass.  Hope is the expectation that it is already on its way!  It’s knowing what you want to experience in the relationship, and not trying to “force” or make it happen.  It’s about meeting someone knew, and, rather than fast-forwarding to the wedding date and what that will be like, staying in the present moment and listening – to the other person, to your intuition, and to how you feel when you’re with him and relishing in the here and now. It’s about allowing things to unfold naturally, and believing that it is all unfolding perfectly for you!  And it’s about happily and graciously  welcoming the good that comes to you, rather than having a list of expectations or criteria for determining whether or not  he or “this” is it!

• Love: And, as I always say, you need to BE the love you want to see.  And, while, of course, what we are focusing on is attracting and experiencing romantic love, this doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships.  Bring love into everything you do.  Bring love to every thought, word, action, and reaction.  Have love be the air you breathe.  Allow love, in all of its forms, to flow to and from you.  Being loving is the way to attract more and more love into your life.  So live a life of love!

Being single doesn’t have to be “hard” or a burden.  Approaching your life with the faith that love is possible for you; hope that everything that has happened and is happening right now is already working together to make your dreams come true; and living a life of love can make this part of your Love Journey peaceful, exciting, rewarding, and fun!

How will you bring faith, hope, and love into your life?  Please share your comments!  We love to hear from you!

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