by Gladys Diaz

I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear.

~ Oprah Winfrey

This week, we’ve been talking about reasons, excuses, the things we hold to be “the truth,” and today I’d like to talk about fear.  There are few things in life that are more paralyzing than fear.  Fear can stop us from moving forward, taking a risk, or breaking through the barriers that prevent us from living a happy, fulfilled life.

But what is it that we’re afraid of? Perhaps one of my favorite explanations of the word fear is the acronym F.E.A.R.:

Just like the excuses and “truths” we hold on to that, in turn, hold us back, our fears can paralyze us, keep us “stuck” where we are – unwilling and seemingly unable to take the actions that are consistent with what we say we want.

Usually, a fear can be traced back to something in our past – an event that left us feeling alone, abandoned, embarrassed, hurt, deceived.  There was a moment where we felt the sting of disappointment and we made a decision – a vow, if you will – that this would never happen to us again.  We would never allow ourselves to trust anyone ever again.  We would never  really be taken care of or protected by anyone except ourselves.  We would never allow ourselves to love someone that fully and completely ever again.

And, in that life-defining moment, we allowed the fear to run the show called “my life.”  We gave the fear permission to decide who we would go out with and even who we would allow to approach us. We allowed the fear to decide just how much of ourselves we’d be willing to let someone else see about who we really are and how much of ourselves they would ever be able to experience.  We allowed the fear to weigh and measure our words; to strategize in order to control and manipulate people and situations so that they will turn out exactly the way we wanted.  We allowed the fear to shut us down, kill off new possibilities, and keep us alone… even though, we say that what we want more than anything is to be loved and share our lives with someone else.

And, lest you think I’m only referring to those who are single, let me clarify.  Some of us who are in relationships are still terrified of allowing the person we love to see us and know us completely.  We allow the fear of possibly being disappointed again to keep us holding on to that last 5, 20, or 50 percent of our love.  We never allow ourselves to fully open our hearts and our Selves to another.  We allow the fear to hold on to that little bit of our Selves… just in case…

Now, am I saying to put yourself in emotional or physical harm just to “prove” that you are not afraid?  Absolutely not!  Your emotional and physical safety always come first.  However, if you are always “careful,” always weary of others, always on the defense, then you want to take some time to identify the fear – bring it out of your blind spot and see it for what it is: A neurological brain pattern… A thought… False Evidence Appearing Real. That’s all it is.  But, left undistinguished and in the background, the fear will continue running the show.  And you’ll be left were you are – afraid, alone, and wondering if you’ll ever really experience what it is like to love and be loved freely – free from the fear, free to love, free to experience all this life has to offer and the abundant love, peace, and joy for which you were created!

It’s up to you.  You always get to choose.

The question is: Will you choose love over fear?

Photo credit: linh.ngan via photopin.com cc