by Gladys Diaz
Do you know the difference between values and boundaries versus standards, rules and expectations?
Are you allowing expectations and rules to determine who you date, or do you have a clear set of values and boundaries that you use to navigate the waters of dating?
If you’re not in the relationship of your dreams, then there’s a breakdown in your values and boundaries OR you’re operating from a set of rules or standards.
So what’s the difference?
Rules and expectations are all about him or them.
“Is he doing this?” or “Why isn’t he doing that?”
When you have a lot of rules, you spend time looking for what he’s not doing or “should be” doing, and usually always end up disappointed.
“He doesn’t dress the way I wish he would.”
“He doesn’t make as much money as I want him to.”
“He doesn’t call me every morning.”
You turn minor quirks into non-negotiable deal breakers and have a frustrating experience dating.
On the other hand, values and boundaries are all about you.
Values are the things that you must live by in order to feel good.
They’re your guiding principles, what matters to you the most.
Having values is being 100% clear about what you do and don’t want to experience in life and then BEing that.
Boundaries are associated with the values you hold and determine what you will and won’t do or accept in your experience with others.
Values and boundaries are inside yourself.
You’re either living in alignment with them, or you’re not.
It’s that simple.
And it makes making decisions in dating (and life!) easy!
When you’re operating from that space, it’s not about a checklist of criteria someone has to meet.
It’s about making sure the experience you’re having is in alignment with your values.
What are your values?
How can you know when you’re aligned and when you’re not?
When you’re not honoring yourself and your values and boundaries, you feel insecure, uncertain, unhappy and out of your power.
Even if you’re having fun in a dating experience that’s out of alignment, you won’t feel fulfilled. There will be a part of you that knows it’s not what you want.
When you’re living and making decisions in alignment with your values, you simply feel good and confident.
You feel empowered and in control of your experience.
You feel clarity and are fulfilled, no matter what the circumstances are outside of you.
If you’re unsure what your values are, look at your life.
When do you feel the most fulfilled and inspired?
What is it that makes you feel that way, and why?
The why will determine your values.
If you’d like some support looking inside to uncover what matters most to you and how you can apply values and boundaries to create more fulfillment in dating, book a Love Breakthrough Session now!
Click the link below and we’ll help you get clarity on what your values are and how to create boundaries that lead you to having fun and fulfillment in dating as you move toward having the relationship of your dreams!