by Gladys Diaz
Are you showing up authentically in your relationships?
Do you ever feel like you’re pretending to be something or someone you’re not, hiding things about yourself, forcing yourself to act a certain way, holding back from saying things you’d like to say, or squashing down feelings?
These are just a few examples of ways you can be showing up as inauthentic with others in relationships.
Something we often hear from women is that they didn’t even realize they were doing these things!
The amazing thing is that once they see it, they’re able to transform it and create something different in dating and relationships.
The simple truth is that if you aren’t able to show up as the real authentic you, it’s impossible for someone to fall in love with you – because you aren’t even really there!
There is one thing that is always underneath the inability to be authentic.
Can you guess it?
If you said FEAR, you were right!
Being inauthentic shows up from an underlying fear that if you do or say a certain thing, then something will or won’t happen.
So you’re always either:
1) Trying to avoid having something happen, or
2) Trying to force or make something happen
And THAT’S why dating and relationships feel “hard” and “exhausting”!
It actually takes much more energy to avoid or force things, hold back, not be authentic, and pretend to be someone you’re not.
When you’re exhausted from trying to figure out who you need to be, squashing down your feelings and people pleasing, when you’re not doing and saying what comes naturally to you, you simply can’t have fun in relationships either!
Plus, you really can’t keep up with pretending for very long.
So- how do you transform these fears that are causing you to be inauthentic?
- Recognize and identify the fears that are holding you back.
What are the fears that have you holding back the real you in relationships?
Fill in the blank: “If I show up as my true self ____________ will/won’t happen.”
If you’re not aware of why you’re pretending, resisting, etc., there’s no way for you to transform that.
- Go deeper.
What’s underneath the fear you uncovered in Step One?
Then, what’s underneath that fear?
And underneath that fear?
Do you fear getting angry because you judge how you act when you’re angry?
Does that cause you to hold back feelings and create resentment and frustration in dating?
Do those feelings cause you to attract men into your life that do things that make you angry?
See how it’s all connected?
90% or more of your attention is going to the thing you’re trying to avoid!
Getting under the layers of the fear is what will help you to transform it.
- Let go of the story behind the fear and create something different.
We create exactly what we are doing and who we are being.
If you’re hiding in your relationships, you’re going to attract men that hide things from you and lie.
If you’re prepending in your relationships, you’re going to attract men that pretend and don’t show you who they really are.
If you’re holding back in your relationships, you’re going to attract men that aren’t emotionally available.
It’s all connected.
When you do the work to transform your fears and the stories behind them, then you can attract a different type of man, experience what you want, and create a relationship where you are loved, adored, cherished, and accepted for who you are.
When you learn to activate your energy toward the things you desire to create, that’s when life changes.
Do you feel like this is something that’s holding you back, but you aren’t sure why?
If you’re curious about getting underneath the surface of what has you people-please, pretend, or feel like you can’t be yourself in relationships, schedule a love breakthrough session now.
Think about what it will be like to break through the fears that have been holding you back for 10, 20, 30 (or more!) years!!
How amazing will it be to leave all of that in the past and move forward with true, authentic confidence in yourself and how you show up and communicate in relationships?
That’s what we want for all women AND for you.
We want you to feel free to be yourself so that you can be loved for everything you are and everything you’re not.
And we want you to know that that’s possible for you to create it now.