by Gladys Diaz
Question for you…
Do you tend to rush into relationships?
In our work with women all over the world, there is something that comes up frequently.
No matter where they’re from, how old they are, and what they’re life experience in love has been – they all say the same thing:
They have a tendency to rush into relationships.
Do you have this pattern, too?
Do you find yourself wondering, after just a date or two, when he’s going to make it official?
Do you rush to meet his close friends and family?
Do you stop dating other men the minute you start to like someone?
Do you rush to move in together?
Do you feel like you want to marry him before you’re even officially in a relationship?
We know that when you meet someone you’re attracted to and enjoy spending time with, that there’s a natural tendency to want to be with them… a lot, to dream about what could happen, and that this triggers the desire to want to move fast.
The thing is that there’s this beautiful phase in the beginning of a relationship, and when you rush, you cheat yourself out of those special feelings and experiences that only happen then.
The other, even more important thing, is that when you go too fast, you miss the opportunity to really get to know someone and can end up missing red flags.
While dating, you want to be aware and awake. You want to notice the things that he does, learn about him and who he is, and be curious about what being with him is like.
You want to take the time to really get to know someone before you jump into a relationship, because the physical chemistry can be there, but if the character of the man isn’t aligned with the kind of relationship you want to have, then it won’t work.
The fact is that after just one or two dates, you don’t know if this is the relationship of your dreams. Knowing that takes time.
So, what has women rush into relationships?
You may be afraid that if it doesn’t work with him, it’s never going to happen.
You may be worried that if you wait too long, you won’t be able to have kids.
Or maybe you think that he’ll get bored and move on if you don’t “catch him” fast.
How do you shift out of this fear?
- Turn the attention and focus back to you. Stop wondering so much about whether or not he likes you, and think about the experience you’re having with him and if it truly aligns with the kind of experience you want to have for the next 20, 40, 60 years..
- Don’t get attached too quickly. Continue to date other people until you’re in a committed relationship. It’s heartbreaking when women invest too much of themselves too soon, only to find out that it’s not the right match. Give yourself the gift of getting to know multiple people at the same time so you don’t start feeling desperate or get too emotionally attached to someone too soon..
- Think about what you’re learning about the men you’re dating. What is the quality of the conversations you have? Do you laugh and have fun together? Do you have common interests and enjoy being together? The more curious you get, the more motivated you are to let things play out and get to know him gradually.
Remember that feelings are fleeting. You need to give yourself (and him as well) time to really get clear and be sure that what you’re experiencing together is aligned with the relationship of your dreams.
If you tend to rush into relationships or get attached to a man too quickly and you’d like support with uncovering the fears driving these patterns, we’d love to talk to you! Click the link below to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.
You get to keep standing for the love you want and not let fear or desperation have you slip into rushing into a relationship that isn’t what you really want.
Don’t let fear get in the way.
Take your time and know that the time you put into getting to truly know someone at the beginning will pay out in dividends later in the form of years of happiness in a relationship, as well as stop you from experiencing unnecessary heartbreak and disappointment.
Trust the process and know that the love you want is already looking for and coming to you!