by Gladys Diaz
I came across this quote by Miguel Ruiz today and I had to smile! I often wonder if the angels are eavesdropping on my conversations when things like this happen!
See, I was coaching a client yesterday who was sharing what she wants to experience in her relationship. She was telling me that she worries some times because she sees that many of her married friends and family members have lost the passion, excitement, and romance has worn off, and they just seem to be “comfortable” with one another.
I explained to her that love, passion, romance does not have to die, dwindle, or fade away. While it’s true that love changes as we grow together in life, this does not necessarily mean that it begins to go away. It is possible for love, intimacy, and passion to deepen, rather than dwindle, over the years.
Intimacy is made up of thousands of little moments – conversations where we share our deepest fears and wildest dreams; moments of intense physical, spiritual, and emotional connection, where we have the experience of actually being one; silly moments where we’re laughing so hard we can’t catch our breath; and painful moments where we help one another stand and make it through to the other side of disappointment or grief. It’s through our shared life’s experiences – the simple and complicated, through good times and bad, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health – that our love can grow stronger and deeper than ever.
So, why is it that some couples manage to keep the love alive in their relationships and others don’t, and what can you do to keep the romance alive in your own relationship?
The answer may seem simple, but it’s profound: Love grows stronger through practice.
Just as the athlete grows stronger, the artist grows in her craft, and the dancer becomes more graceful through practice, so do we become better at giving and receiving love through practicing our love.
No matter how much an athlete wants to win, how much the artist wants to improve her artistry, or how much the dancer wants to glide effortlessly across the stage, without practice each of them will either stay stagnant or regress in their skill level.
Practicing love means being willing to listen, rather than always trying to be heard. It means being accepting and forgiving, compassionate and understanding. It means allowing the other person the freedom to be who he or she is, without trying to control, fix or change him or her. Practicing love means allowing the other person to be there for you, to support and love you. And practicing love means setting the intention every day to love a little more deeply, fully, and profoundly.
Love doesn’t have to dwindle and passion and romance do not have to fade. When we make it a point to make each new day – each new moment – an opportunity to practice loving and being loved a little more than the one before, the love, intimacy, and passion we feel for one another will grow stronger, deeper, and more fulfilling than we ever dreamed was possible!
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