by Gladys Diaz
If you’re dating, do you have a checklist for what you’re looking for in man?
Whether it’s a physical list you’ve written down or a mental checklist you keep in your head, do you have one?
If you do, you could absolutely miss the love that’s standing right in front of you.
Don’t believe us? Read on. 🙂
This week on Love Chat with the Love Twins, we had a powerful and fun conversation with one of our clients, Ellen, who’s story exemplifies this perfectly. (Did you miss it? Watch it HERE.)
Ellen is a teacher and single mom of a teenage daughter who had been divorced for 6 years. When she met us, she was dating again and had a very long, and specific, checklist of what she was looking for.
She wanted a man who was older than her, who had grown kids, was Jewish like her, didn’t have a cat… and the list went on and on. She had all of this outlined on her dating profile and would get messages from men saying things like, “Well I made it to number 14!”
This was not working for her!
So, she came to our event, New Love in the New Year, because she didn’t know how to attract the kind of man and relationship she was looking for. She wanted to be a good example for her daughter of how to approach dating and relationships in a healthy way and knew that she was most likely sabotaging her success altogether.
Through her experience at the event, she had some incredible breakthroughs!
- She gained awareness and started seeing her patterns in dating that weren’t working.
- She realized that her energy and negative thoughts around dating were influencing who she was attracting, and shifted from trying to “get” a man to “attracting” the man she wanted by being herself.
- She understood that she could be herself on dates and in budding relationships instead of always trying to fit into a mold of what the other person was looking for.
Through the coaching she did with us, she was able to let go of her checklist and realize that you have to actually fall in love with someone — the actual person, not just who they are on paper!
She learned that her checklist was about trying to control the situation and who showed up in her life, which was all based in fear.
As she recognized and released her fears, she was able to open up to what could be possible and started paying attention to what she wanted to experience in a relationship.
She realized that letting go of the checklist is not about lowering your standards.
It was about breaking down the wall of fears so that she could experience what she wanted to experience in a relationship!
And that’s when Ross came into the picture.
He sent her a thoughtful, kind message on the dating app, and it caught her attention.
She looked at his profile and saw that he was a couple of years younger than her and he had younger kids. (Not what she was looking for!)
Normally, she would have looked the other way and not even messaged him back.
But, because of what she’d learned in the program, she opened up and responded with love and curiosity.
She’d shifted her perspective, and her experience was different.
In her words, “I was no longer searching for my husband. I was just responding to someone and being kind. I wasn’t feeling so desperate to find it and that’s when it started coming to me.”
She got to know Ross, and she was attracted to his kindness, emotional intelligence and thoughtfulness.
Their children got along beautifully, and he didn’t mind that she was still friends with her ex-husband.
He stimulated her emotionally, mentally and physically, and now they are engaged to get married!
When she looks back, she sees that, had she not shifted her mindset around her checklist, she would never have met him.
So many women worry that if they let go of their checklist they will have to settle for a bunch of things they don’t want.
The truth is, if you stop focusing on what you don’t want, then you open up the space for what you do want to come in.
When you shift the focus to what you want to experience in a relationship, instead of what you want the man to be or have, you open up the door to actually see him!
Ellen said, “A year ago, I would never have imagined that I’d be here. All of the things I didn’t know I could want again, I’m getting.”
And you can have everything you want too.
If you already know you’re ready for and you want to hear what it’s like to be in this kind of relationship, we have an easy way for you to do this!
Join us this Sunday for a very special Fireside Chat with Us and Our Husbands!
This is going to be a very special and intimate evening where the four of us will share with you exactly how we’ve created the love, connection, intimacy and joy we experience in our relationships, and how you can create the same.
We’re going to be answering questions, sharing stories and opening up space in your heart for what you really desire to experience so that you can have exactly what you desire!
You see, having the love you want is not just about finding a man. It’s about finding yourself, building trust, and knowing that you can create the relationship of your dreams!
Join us and open up to what’s possible for you and your love life as you go into the new year!