by Gladys Diaz
Being a relationship coach is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. There is absolutely nothing better than helping a woman who has given up on love begin to break through the fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that have been stopping her from allowing love to find her. It’s so fulfilling to watch someone meet the man she’s been waiting for all of her life and see them building a life of dreams together. Perhaps my favorite part is that inevitable moment when she calls to tell me they’re getting married and how she really thought this would never happen for her! It’s one of the few times I love being “right”!
As with anything else, even being a relationship coach has its down side sometimes. Many of the calls I get are from women who are giving up on love, not because they are single, but because they can’t seem to figure out what went wrong and what they need to do to make their marriage work. It’s heartbreaking to hear them talk about how great things between them and their husbands used to be and how difficult things are now – constant bickering; very little, if any, intimacy; and feeling lonely, even though they are in a relationship.
The worst part is that this is a pretty common conversation. I receive these types of phone calls and emails all the time from women asking, “What happened?” “Where did the love go?” “Is there any way to get it back?”
Thankfully, when a woman reaches out to me, it’s usually because she’s ready to begin turning things around. Even if she’s still at the point where she’s blaming him for the state of their marriage, if she’s reaching out, I know in my heart that there is a very good chance that, if she’s willing to do the work, she’ll be amazed at how quickly her experience of being married is going to change!
But why is it that a happy, loving, peaceful romance can sometimes turn into a war zone? How is it that the same two people who at one point could not imagine living the rest of their lives without one another can get to the point where they can’t be in the same room without insulting and tearing each other down? And, more importantly, is there any way to prevent this from happening or turn things around?
Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why some marriages don’t last and what can be done to prevent this and Keep the Love Alive in your relationship so that it can last for a lifetime.
Thinking that great marriages “just happen.”
I don’t know if we should sue Disney or the authors of every fairy tale and romance novel ever written, but this idea that happily ever after just happens, is an illusion! Nothing that lasts or that is of importance – one’s health, wealth, or success in any area of one’s life – lasts without putting time, effort, and, at times, money into it. Take shows like Extreme Weightloss or The Biggest Loser, for example. Even after those people go through 6 months to a year of intense training, changing their eating habits, and living an entirely new lifestyle, and lose hundreds of pounds, there is absolutely no way for them to maintain that new body if they do not continue exercising, eating healthy, and making the right choices for their bodies.
So, why is it that we think relationships are any different? Even if you have the most romantic, loving, and intimate relationship, unless you make it a point every single day to nurture the love and respect in that relationship, there is absolutely no way that it will be able to sustain the curveballs that life throws your way: illness, loss of a job, death of a loved one, or everyday stress. It’s only when we make our relationships a priority in our lives and give them the time and attention they deserve that we can begin solidifying the foundation and continue building on the love that we have in the beginning of the relationship.
Getting too comfortable.
I’m not going to lie, I’m glad I no longer have to worry about if I’ll ever be married or have the family I always dreamed of. There is a sense of peace in knowing that you’ve attracted the man who has promised to love you for the rest of his life. But I have to be conscious about not taking this blessing for granted. However, I see way too many people who have gotten comfortable in their relationships and are no longer trying to make them fun and romantic. They settle into being busy, being parents, and – if they can tolerate one another – becoming friendly housemates. But the passion, romance, and fun that used to be in their relationships are nowhere to be found. They begin to feel bored and grow apart.
Again, if you want to have a relationship where love, fun, and romance are present, rather than waiting for your partner to bring fun, love, and romance into the relationship, it’s going to be up to you. In other words, you need to choose to be the love you want to see and experience in your life.
Not believing that things will change.
Another reason many marriages do not last is because, when things begin to change, or it begins to seem as if the romance is beginning to fade, people get scared. They get scared that they won’t be able to turn things around and that things will continue to get worse. They’re afraid that their partner doesn’t want the relationship to work. And the fear has them not even try – it actually paralyzes them, and they will pretend everything is fine, ignore the situation, and not take the steps they can take to recommit, reconnect, and restore the intimacy in their relationships.
It can be scary to think that the relationship you promised to be in for the rest of your life is coming apart. But, if you remember nothing else from this article, remember this: You have the power to create the relationship your heart desires. It is entirely up to you. And, while you may not know exactly what you can do right now, know that help and support are available, and it is absolutely possible to have the love, intimacy and romance you want.
Michelle and I are passionate about helping women restore the romance in their relationships. This is why we are hosting the “Keeping the Love Alive” Workshop on September 21, 2013. In this half-day workshop, women will discover:
- How to continue becoming the best version of yourself
- The keys to communicating in a way that has him hear what you are saying
- The practical things you can do each day to keep the romance alive in your relationship
- How to give your husband what he wants more than anything else (and it’s probably not what you’re thinking!)
This workshop is for you if you are:
- In a committed relationship that you are hoping will lead to a happy marriage
- A bride-to-be who is ready to learn how to make your marriage a romance that lasts for a lifetime
- A happily married woman who is interested in taking your marriage to new levels of love, passion, and intimacy
- A married woman who wants to discover how to bring the passion and romance back into your marriage
So, if you’re ready to begin infusing your relationship with more love, passion, intimacy, and fun that you can stand, join us on Saturday, September 21, 2013 from 10:00am – 1:00pm!
Location:
Italy Today 6743 Main Street Miami Lakes, FL 33014Cost:
$45 pre-sale / $50 at the door
BOGO with a friend! Buy 1 ticket and get the second one for 50% off! $67 Pre-sale / $75 at the door
Click here to register now!
**Be one of the first 10 women to register after reading this post, and we’ll enter your name in a raffle to win a great date night gift!**
If you live outside of Florida, and you’d like support, contact us so that we can work with you to help you create the relationship you deserve and your heart desires!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
