by Gladys Diaz
Last week something happened to me that was really scary. I can honestly say that I hadn’t felt that scared in a long time.
I went back and forth about whether or not to share this publicly, but I think it’s important to be real and not give the impression that I’m invincible or that I don’t every have my share of “curve balls” thrown at me.
About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I started noticing a tingling sensation in my left arm, primarily from my elbow to my wrist, and, sometimes my fingertips. I spend a lot of time on my computer, and I’ve had Carpal Tunnel Syndrome a few times, so, when I looked up the symptoms and saw that Carpal Tunnel was a common cause of tingling in the arm, I assumed it was that.
I began to notice that I also felt tingling in my left leg, and then my right leg, in the outer shin area, and didn’t know what to make of that. However, it would come and go, so, while I was a bit concerned, I didn’t make a big deal about it.
Last Tuesday, however, I felt tingling and numbness on my face, neck, down my left arm and leg. After a few hours, I began to get concerned, so I went to Urgent Care. They recommended I go to the ER, and they proceeded to do various tests, scans, and MRIs, and recommended I stay overnight.
As I was laying down for them to conduct the CAT Scan, I began to worry.
What if this is something serious?
Why do they keep talking about “a stroke”?
Will I be able to take care of my children?
How will this impact my marriage?
What about my clients?
These thoughts were running through my head all at once, and I really had to do the work that we teach our clients to separate facts from fears, because the truth is that our mind will usually envision and play out the worst possible scenarios, and my mind, left to its own devices, is no exception!
So, I was being intentional, moment by moment, to not allow my fears to take over or take me down the slippery mental slope of imagining the very worst.
As I was going through all of this, I got really present to the fact that I truly want to LIVE!
I don’t just want to exist or survive.
I want to LIVE.
I want to LOVE.
I want to GIVE myself fully to my family and to this world and do the work that I know I was born to do as a woman, wife, mother, and coach.
And, naturally, I started thinking about you.
I literally said to God,
“Lord, there is still so much I feel I need to do.
What about all of the women who still haven’t met the love of their lives?
What about the women who are feeling sad and lonely in their relationships?
Please, allow me the opportunity to do the work You’ve called me to do.”
And, once I prayed that prayer, there was a peace that came over me. I can’t explain it. In that moment, I just KNEW with every fiber of my being that everything was going to be okay.
I still don’t know what caused the episode or why I still have some tingling in my arms and legs. However, I am working with a doctor to find out exactly what is going on and what to do to turn it around.
Why? Because I don’t want to pretend to the know the answers when I don’t, and I’m also not going to wait and see if things “fix” themselves on their own. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to heal anything that is out of alignment in my body so that I can continue living, loving, carrying out my mission, and making my dreams and other women’s dreams come true!
What about you?
I don’t know what curve balls life has thrown at you.
I don’t know what heartache or pain or fear you are experiencing right now.
But here is what I do know:
If you have a dream in your heart of living in a happy, loving, intimate relationship where you are loved and desired by a man who wants nothing more than to help make your dreams come true and you are not in that relationship yet, then part of my life’s mission is helping you create that relationship.
I know it can be scary when you’re not sure why things are going the way they are going and you don’t have all the answers you need to begin turning your love life around.
My invitation is that you not allow those fears to paralyze and take you out of the game. Don’t allow them to make you wonder if your dream is possible. IT IS!
And, if you don’t have the answers, then it’s time to begin working with someone who does – someone who can help you see what’s been getting in the way of attracting and having the love you want and who can help give you the exact steps you can take to begin transforming yourself and your love life so that you can finally experience the loving relationship your heart desires.
You deserve all the happiness and love your heart longs for. You truly do.
Believe it!
And if I can help you create it, then write to me or leave me a comment and let me know how I can serve and support you, because you, your dreams, and your happiness matter to me!
Gladys
Just reading your story has left me feeling a release of presumably a fear based emotion.
I have had two very real near death experiences, and one where my youngest child had a 2.5 hour seizure. On each of these occasions my thoughts raced to projecting the worst outcomes, and hiw I could allieviate all my loved one’s pain and suffering. I detached so much of my own emotion, that I robotically went about my days being a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunty, friend, work colleague and student… I became a ‘human doing’ not a human being.
I missed close to 20 yrs not connecting emotionally because I forgot what it was like to feel.
Lesley, thank you for sharing your story. I can hear how frightening your experiences were, and I’m so glad that reading my story helped you release some of that fear! It’s truly amazing how much power we give our fears, which are nothing more than imagined thoughts. I hope that you are on your way back to connecting to those around you. If I can help you in any way, please do not hesitate to reach out to me!