by Gladys Diaz

There are few practices in life that are as transformational as that of giving thanks.  There is something miraculous that happens when you make the choice to take your focus off of everything you don’t have, don’t have enough of, or that seems to be “wrong” in your life and shift to making the conscious choice to feel and express gratitude for what you do have.  This is especially true when it comes to love and relationships.

There is a quote by Taneo Sands Kumalae that says,

“Energy flows where attention goes.”

There is nothing that can kill love and intimacy more quickly than criticism and sending the message to the other person that he is not doing “enough” to please you. Telling a man he doesn’t call often enough, that he “never” takes you out anymore, or that he’s “always” thinking about himself does not inspire him to want to call, spend time with, or think of you more often.  In fact, you’ll probably find that this type of communication will backfire, having him pull away even more.

On the other hand, when you choose to shed light on the things that you like, enjoy, and appreciate – the little things, the big things, and everything in between – chances are very high that the man you are with is going to want to give you even more of that?  Why?

Well, it’s pretty simple. If you’re with a good man, one thing is certain:  He wants to please you.  And letting him know what he’s done to please you will make him want to do that more often!

See, not only does he love seeing that smile on your face, but he absolutely loves knowing that he had something to do with it!

So, the more you often you let him know that you noticed what he did and that you appreciate it, the more often he will want to create that feeling for both of you again, which means you both win!

Now, I’m not talking about simply expressing thanks in order to “get him” to do things for you. That is manipulative and controlling and totally goes against what we teach about how to create a loving, intimate relationship.  This is about really allowing yourself to notice what he’s done, feel the gratitude, and then express it to him.

As with most of the things we teach, this takes some level of vulnerability, because you’re letting him know he made a difference for you.  This practice can be easy when things are going well in a relationship, but can be a little more difficult when you’re experiencing difficult times.  However, it’s impossible to feel both resentment and gratitude at the same time.  So, when you make the choice to express gratitude, it’s also likely that the resentment you’ve been holding onto will begin to disappear, which is a gift you give yourself!

I can promise  you that if you really take on expressing gratitude to your husband or boyfriend for the week, something magical will happen.

Not only will you begin to experience more peace within, but you will also begin to sense a shift in the dynamic of your relationship.

Why?

Because, now, rather than focusing on (and complaining about) all of the things he’s not doing (or not doing well enough), you will begin noticing just how much you have to be grateful for! Instead of noticing that he left the socks on the floor, or left the toilet seat up, or forgot to pay the phone bill on time, you’ll begin to notice how he made sure he left you enough coffee in the coffee pot, how he always brings in the mail, how he’s working those long hours you complain about because he wants to take care of you, and how he begins to respond to your increased level gratitude!  I’m warning you now – Don’t be surprised if he starts surprising you more often!

Will you take “The Gratitude Challenge”?

I’d like to present you with a little challenge.

For the next 7 days, look for three opportunities per day to express thanks to your man.  I know, I know, some of you are thinking it will be hard to find one opportunity.  Again, I promise you, if you will look for the opportunities, you will see them!

If you’re not in a relationship yet, then I challenge you to express your gratitude to men three times per day. You can choose to thank the same man three times, or thank three different men.  Yes, you can choose a family member, but if you really want to stretch yourself, I invite you thank three co-workers, three men you see while running errands, or the cute guy who always holds the door open for you at the gym!

If you play this game full-out, you are going to begin to notice just how much the men in your life want to please and make you happy!  See, while you may be benefiting from their compliments, help, or gifts, you are giving them a gift in return: The gift of appreciation.  And, if you continue to play the game well after the 7 days have come and gone, you will see just how big a difference a little gratitude can make in all of the areas of your life!

So, will you do it?  Will you take the gratitude challenge?

If, so, make sure you let us know below!  We can’t wait to hear all about the miraculous changes you’ll begin to see in your life and your relationship!

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