by Gladys Diaz
“Feeling gratitude and note expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
~ William Arthur Ward
One of the first exercises I give women who I coach is to find 3 reasons to thank their spouse or boyfriend every day for a week. If they are single, then they are to express gratitude at least 3 times per day. Sometimes, particularly with women who are struggling in their marriages, you would think that I was asking them to pull out their own wisdom tooth!
“Three thank-you’s a day? I can’t even think of one!”
To which I answer, “Great! Then create three opportunities per day!” (Insert wicked smile.)
Why do I ask a woman who is experiencing trouble with her husband to thank him? Am I “taking his side” or asking her to ignore the issues they are experiencing? No. I’m simply trying to help her change her focus…To shine the spotlight on what is working…Helping her see the little things that sometimes get clouded out by complaints, unmet expectations, and fear.
Usually, something miraculous happens! At the end of the week, when we have our next session, rather than wanting to spend the time telling me about all of the things he isn’t doing right (or not well enough), she can’t wait to tell me about all of the things she noticed! The “new things” he started doing (some of them aren’t new at all – she just sees them now!), and how she is beginning to see and feel “a shift” in the relationship. All of a sudden, there is hope. And where there is hope, anything is possible!
Gratitude has the power to transform our perception of people, situations, and things. If you bring gratitude to your relationship, you begin to experience that, while, yes, there may still be some things we need to work on, there are also things that are working. And, in the space of appreciation we can begin love and honor one another again, which can serve to inspire us to make the changes we each need to make.
If you’re in a relationship, what are three things for which you grateful to your boyfriend/spouse. If you’re not in a relationship yet, what are 3 things for which you are thankful.
Questions? Comments? We love to hear from you!
Photo credit: Incognita No de Plume via photopin.com cc
How tricky of you…but you’re right. Focusing on the good stuff would bring everything into better balance. I’m happy to say I can easily come up with 3 things about my hubby to appreciate.
🙂 I see my job as a coach to help my client see what she is unable to see…yet. 🙂 I love being part of witnessing the transformation of a relationship, whether it’s currently in trouble, or getting to what I call “the next level of ‘Wow!’l 🙂
How tricky of you…but you’re right. Focusing on the good stuff would bring everything into better balance. I’m happy to say I can easily come up with 3 things about my hubby to appreciate.
🙂 I see my job as a coach to help my client see what she is unable to see…yet. 🙂 I love being part of witnessing the transformation of a relationship, whether it’s currently in trouble, or getting to what I call “the next level of ‘Wow!’l 🙂
I am thankful for the usual things — Love, Life, and Social Media. 😀
😀 Thanks, Dani!
I am thankful for the usual things — Love, Life, and Social Media. 😀
😀 Thanks, Dani!
It is impossible to have a negative thought in your head if you are feeling grateful.
If you want a happy life, keep happy thoughts in your head.
Simple but so true!
You’re right, bluecompassmarketing. Grateful thoughts can move out negative thoughts almost instantly! Whenever I’m beginning to feel anxious about anything, the first thing I do is start listing all the things for which I am grateful. Works every time! 😉
Gratitude is one of the fastest ways to change anything in your life. I do something similar with my clients as well and also show them a way that they can use what they see as the negative aspects as a mirror reflection of what they are ready to heal within themselves. Great post1
So true! Gratitude is transformational for both ourselves and those with whom we share our lives. Thanks for sharing, msdiane!
Great post. Totally agree. expressing Gratitude is the fastest way to change your outlook and your life. I agree with Louise, happy to be able to have lots of things I am grateful for about my husband.
It’s so awesome when we can come up with not 3 or 4, but list upon list of things we appreciate about our husbands. 🙂
Great post. Totally agree. expressing Gratitude is the fastest way to change your outlook and your life. I agree with Louise, happy to be able to have lots of things I am grateful for about my husband.
It’s so awesome when we can come up with not 3 or 4, but list upon list of things we appreciate about our husbands. 🙂
So simple and so easy to forget… thanks for the reminder!!
And PS I think your suggestion about EXPRESSING your gratitude is key… keeping it a secret that you appreciate your partner or your community is not nearly as effective!! Today I have thanked 3 people already and it feels great 🙂
You’re welcome! 🙂
So simple and so easy to forget… thanks for the reminder!!
And PS I think your suggestion about EXPRESSING your gratitude is key… keeping it a secret that you appreciate your partner or your community is not nearly as effective!! Today I have thanked 3 people already and it feels great 🙂
That’s so wonderful, Brandi! 🙂
You’re welcome! 🙂