by heartsdesireintl | Mar 30, 2015 | Communication, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
Monday was my first day back after a week off for vacation, and I’m excited!
It wasn’t always this way for me. I used to dread having to go back to work after being on vacation. I would think of reasons/excuses to give my boss for not having to go in that first day. I’d dread looking at my inbox and having to deal with everything that didn’t get done while I was away.
That was then…
Now, however, I absolutely love what I do and I love the women I work with, and, since it doesn’t seem like “work,” I have to be really aware of how I manage my time when I’m on vacation so that I can really take time off to relax, replenish, and renew my mind, body, and spirit before heading back to the office.
One of the concerns I get from professional women is that they fear their partner won’t understand and feel comfortable with their drive and determination when it comes to their careers. They worry that their partners will somehow feel “threatened” or intimidated by their success.
That’s why one of the ways I create harmony between my work and personal life is by making agreements – both with myself and my husband.
See, my husband knows how much my clients mean to me. He knows that, if they are in the middle of a crisis in their relationships, it wouldn’t sit right with me to just ignore them because I’m on vacation. He also knows that I’m in the middle of planning two huge projects, and, if something came up around them, I’d need to at least be aware of it in order to delegate the issue to someone else.
What my husband also knows beyond a shadow of a doubt is that he and the boys mean more to me than anything else, and that I consider the time I spend with them precious.
So, before going on vacation, we agreed on what our days would look like and what I would do to manage anything that might come up regarding work. This way, rather than being on the phone checking email all day long, I had had certain times designated when I would check in, look to see what I needed to respond to, and the rest of the time was 100% family fun time!
By creating and honoring an agreement about what I would do/not do while on vacation, I took 100% responsibility for my happiness and for the work that would/would not get done that week. I also sent the message to my husband and kids that they are my priority and that, after those few minutes when I did work during the day, they had my undivided attention.
Because of this agreement, I didn’t have to feel “guilty” about answering or not answering an email. I kept to my schedule and did everything I could to be present with and enjoy the time I spent with my in-loves (my term for “in-laws).
The even better part was that, because my intention was to be fully present with my family and I was willing to work a little harder and longer the 2 weeks prior to vacation, I actually had very little I had to attend to work-wise during the week! (It’s just like it says in one of the books I finished reading while on vacation, The Alchemist: “…when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”!)
In this case, the universe, my family, my team, and I conspired to make sure that I had a fun a restful vacation! But it didn’t “just happen.” Like everything else in life that it is important, it took setting a clear intention and planning!
A relationship is a partnership.
Creating agreements with your partner is one of the essential keys to making that partnership work. When making agreements, keep these things in mind:
- Only promise what you fully intend to fulfill. It’s important that you determine what you are willing to do and that you fully intend to honor the agreement.
- Keep the agreement. Even more important than making an agreement is keeping the agreement. In honoring the agreement, you send the message to your partner that he can trust you to honor your word (in this case, as well as in the rest of the relationship).
The truth is that the majority of the problems in relationships can be traced back to one or both of the partners not having kept a promise or agreement that was made.
Does this mean you’ll never break a promise or that you’ll keep every single agreement you ever make?
No.
The goal, of course, is to strive for that. But, if you fail to keep an agreement, follow these steps.
- Acknowledge that the agreement wasn’t kept. Don’t ignore the broken agreement or pretend as if nothing happened. Honor yourself and your partner by acknowledging how the agreement was broken.
- Apologize for whatever you did on your end to break the agreement.
- Make a new agreement (keeping in mind that you fully intend to honor it this time).
- Do everything in your power to honor the agreement.
Your relationship is the most important partnership you’ll ever have.
While this doesn’t mean you won’t have other partnerships or projects that are important to you, it does mean that striving to make that partnership work needs to be a daily priority. Making and keeping agreements is one way to make sure your partnership works!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Mar 26, 2015 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance, Success
by Gladys Diaz
You may have noticed that I’ve been a little “quieter” than usual over the past couple of weeks. There is a very GOOD reason for that!
See, Michelle and I are working on some really great and yummy things for you, all while I was also planning a week-long vacation with my family and family-in-love (my hubby’s brother, sister-in-love, and my mother-in-love)!
As a wife, mother, and entrepreneur, it’s important to me that I build my business around my family.
Do I want to succeed? YES!
Do I want to make a difference in the world? YES!
Do I want to be the best wife and mother I can be? YES!
Now, some people might say that it’s “humanly impossible” to do and succeed in all of these areas at the same time.
I call BS on that!
It IS possible to have BOTH a thriving and successful business/career and a loving, passionate relationship, if that’s your true intention.
Now, is it always “easy” to have it all? NO.
To take this week off and spend as much time playing, laughing, and relaxing with my family, it took some pre-planning, putting things in motion, and being willing to work a little longer than I usually do.
It took reaching out to my coaches and mastermind sisters to get the support and encouragement I needed to believe that I COULD complete my projects AND have time to play with my family.
It took letting my family know that I would be putting in longer hours and be more focused on my work for one week so that I could have fun with them for another.
It took asking for help and support from my team – both Team Diaz and Team Heart’s Desire – and letting go of the things I could not control.
And you know what? It worked!
Everything that needed to get done prior to leaving on vacation got completed, Michelle and I had a WONDERFUL time speaking at the Jazz in the Gardens Women’s Impact Conference and Luncheon, where many women registered to attend The Irresistible Woman Seminar, and our virtual assistant handled all of the behind-the-scenes work for our upcoming virtual event!
When your intention is to have everything your heart desires and you’re willing to do the work to have it be so, you really CAN have it ALL!
Whether you are single and trying to figure out how to continue having a thriving career while also finding time to attract and date the man with whom you will spend your life, or you’re a woman who is married or in a relationship and you want to continue growing your business or career while also growing closer to the man you love, there are steps you can take to ensure that you are experiencing all of the love, success, and happiness you desire.
- Set a clear intention. Saying, “I want to be successful,” or “I want to be in a relationship” is not clear enough. You need to clearly define what “successful” and “a relationship” looks and feels like for you.
- Career intention: Does “successful” mean having a certain title or income level? Does it mean having an organization of a certain size? How many hours do you want to work? What type of lifestyle (home, vacation time and places, location) do you want to have?
- Relationship Intention: What does a successful relationship look like to you? When you close your eyes and envision yourself in the relationship of your dreams, how do you feel? What is the experience of loving and being loved that you want to have every day, for the rest of your life?
- Create a plan of action. A dream without a plan is nothing more than a wish. Once you have your clear intention begin planning from the end and work your way back.
- Career Plan: If you want to achieve a certain title at work in a year, what where would you need to be 2 months prior? To reach that level, at which level would you need to be 2 months prior to that, and so on. What are the steps you would need to take at each level to reach the next level? Who would you need to help support you? Have your action plan steps be as clear as the intention you set and as closely aligned to your intention as possible.
- Relationship Plan for Singles: If you want to be married in a year, and you’re not out there dating, consider that, a year from now you will probably find yourself in the same exact place you find yourself in now. So, if you want to be married in a year, where would you need to be in your relationship 2 months prior to getting engaged? How well would you need to know each other before you’d be willing to commit your life to someone? How long would you like to date him? How often would you like to see and spend time with him? Make your plan clear, allowing for joy of being pleasantly surprised, but get into action, or don’t be surprised if there’s no guy, no relationship, and no proposal a year from now!
Relationship Plan for Girlfriends and Wives: If you’re in a relationship and you’d like to experience more support for your career goals and dreams, as well as more romance and passion in your relationship, what are the things standing in the way of experiencing that now? Are you holding onto resentment, or are you ready to forgive? Are you communicating openly and authentically with your husband or boyfriend? Are you complaining about him not being supportive or inviting him to be part of your dreams? Whatever it is you want to experience in your relationship, be honest with yourself and be willing to take the action steps that will lead you in the direction of your dream!
- Get committed. One of the most critical aspects of having it ALL is your level of committed. Saying you want something and being willing to do the work it takes to have it are two completely different things! Remind yourself that this is YOUR life, YOUR dream, and WHY this is important to you.
- Career Commitment: Keep in mind that there are probably at least 10 other people in your company or line of work who want to achieve a high level of success. The only thing that separates the people who achieve their goals from the ones who don’t is their level of commitment, which includes persistence and resolve. Anticipate that not everything will go according to your plan, but use each setback as an opportunity to learn and catapult you in the right direction. The only reason you will have for not reaching your goal is if you quit!
- Relationship Commitment: Having a loving, passionate, intimate relationship doesn’t have to be hard work, but it does take work. Joining two separate individuals – with all of their past, history, and habits – to create one solid and successful partnership takes patience, understanding, and commitment. Everything won’t always run smoothly. You won’t always see eye-to-eye. There may be times when you wonder whether leaving is a more viable option than staying and doing the work to make your relationship work. However, the only thing that distinguishes relationships that last from those that don’t is the willingness to commit to finding a way to make things work. Assuming the man you are with is good and right for you, don’t be afraid of investing your time and heart in building a solid foundation for a love that will stand the test of time!
Having the time to relax and play with my family without worrying about having to work, check email, and wonder if my projects would get completed in time was a big enough “WHY” for me to set a clear intention about what I wanted to accomplish the past two weeks, to create a plan and put in the extra hours I needed to in order to ensure the work got done, and to commit to following the plan, even when I was tired, even when I thought I was crazy for thinking I could really make this work!
The results?
Having a blast with my husband and kids, romantic moments with my husband, getting to hold my baby nephew for the first time and smother him with love and kisses, and having fun time with my family-in-love!
Yeah… I’d say it was all well-worth being able to have it ALL!
P.S. If you’re a successful, professional woman who wants to create a life where you can
experience success in your career AND a loving, passionate relationship, make sure you join us for
The Irresistible Woman Seminar while Early Bird prices and the 2-payment option is still available!
by heartsdesireintl | Mar 14, 2015 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
I don’t know if this happens to you, but I love what I do for a living! Sometimes, especially if I’m working on a new and exciting project, I can work for hours without even noticing time go by! This has been especially true for me this week, since the time changed and we are now an hour ahead. The sun is bright outside my window, I look at my clock and see that it’s 7:00pm! Enter the mad rush to get dinner on the table!
While it’s great to get lost in doing what I love, I also enjoy making time for the people and things that I love.
I love having time off to do things for myself and spend time with my family. I love feeling a little “guilty” about snuggling up in my chaise lounge reading a book for the pure pleasure of it! I enjoy being in the living room with my 3 guys all around me – not doing anything “special” – just being with one another. I love that time in the evening, when it’s just my husband and me, and we can speak or kiss for 5 consecutive minutes without being interrupted! (smile)
Being a successful professional woman – whether you are single, married, or in a relationship – requires the ability to turn off “work mode,” which often involves taking on a lot of masculine energy, and turning up your feminine energy.
It means finding the sweet spot where you shift from being what Michelle and I call being “The Invincible Woman” and “The Irresistible Woman” – that strong-yet-soft-and-sensual, capable-yet-receptive, and powerful-yet-vulnerable feminine energy that is what makes you attractive and alluring to men!
If you find that it’s difficult for you to shed your Invincible Woman cape to wrap yourself in your Irresistible Woman radiance, you’ll want to join us over the next few months, because we are going to be offering several live and virtual events you can attend that will show you how to go From Invincible to Irresistible in your love life!
If you’d like a close-and-personal sneak peek of upcoming events, join Michelle and me this coming Friday, March 20th at the Jazz in the Gardens Women’s Impact Luncheon!
We will be speaking about how you can be Invincible at work and Simply Irresistible in your love life!
We’re excited to be speaking at this event which sells out year after year, sharing the secrets to becoming a Simply Irresistible Woman.
To join us, check out the information below!
Can’t make to the live event? Not to worry! We are planning some very cool virtual events just for you so, make sure you are subscribed to receive our emails!
There IS a way you can have everything your heart desires in life, career, and love! Let us share the secrets that we have used in our own lives and marriages to help you become a Simply Irresistible Woman in your love life!
In honor of Women’s History Month and in conjunction with the 10th Annual Jazz in the Gardens Music Festival, the City of Miami Gardens will host the 2015 WOMEN’S IMPACT CONFERENCE & LUNCHEON, created in 2010. At the conference, women of varied races, creed and cultures are exposed to:
- ideas and strategies for how to take time for self-discovery
- essential activities associated with inspiration and motivation
- ways women can live centered and complete lives by taking advantage of all of life’s endless possibilities.
Attendees will be entertained and engaged, as distinguished experts deliver the tips, tools and information on topics to inspire women.
Michelle and I are honored to be speaking at this created to event to inspire and empower women!
Michelle and I are honored to be speaking at this created to event to inspire and empower women!
This highly anticipated, and historically “sold-out” event, will take place at the beautiful property ofMiramar Cultural Center, Miramar, Florida, from 8:00 am – 4:00 pm on Friday, March 20th, 2015!
Click here to learn more and purchase tickets TODAY!
P.S. We can’t wait to let the cat out of the bag and share some of the amazing upcoming events with you! Keep an eye out for our emails!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Mar 10, 2015 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
One of the most common complaints we get from women is that they feel like they don’t know how to communicate with men. This is true for single women, as well as those who are married and in relationships. There is simply a feeling that they are not being heard.
The main problem is usually that the opposite is true.
If you’re like most women, the truth is that you’re probably talking way too much!
Stay with me, here!
As a woman, you use about three times as many words as most men in a single day. You have the unique ability to be able to have a thought, connect a feeling to it, and connect that thought and feelings with words. And then you have the uncanny ability to speak those words – sometimes over, and over, and over again.
Usually, the over-talking comes from fear.
Fear that you won’t get what we want.
Fear that you’ll upset the other person.
Fear that you have to somehow justify why you want you want.
When those fears get in the way during conversations, over-talking is used as a way to try to convince the other person to agree with you, to pacify the other person, or to make a case for why what you want is important or necessary.
The problem is that, when you begin to talk too much, a man simply can’t hear what you are saying.
The desire, feeling, or need gets buried under a mountain of words, reasons, excuses, and justifications.
In order for him to get the point of what you are saying, your man needs to dig himself out from under all of that, which can feel overwhelming. Hence, the “glazed-over stare”!
If he feels like he is being pressured or manipulated into agreeing with something, he will resist, which will have him automatically get on the defensive. Now, you’ve become “the enemy.”
If he feels as if he’s being disrespected in any way, he’ll withdraw or completely shut down. Welcome to the cold shoulder or silent treatment.
In any of these cases, no matter how much you talk, he won’t hear you.
In fact, the more you talk, the less likely he is to hear you, because he’ll either be overwhelmed and unable to hear you, on-guard and only interested in defending himself, or shut down and disconnected from you.
Either way, you’re not getting what you want in that conversation: Connection
So, how can you speak in way where you can say what you want to say and have him hear you?
- Get Clear. If you know that you tend to get wordy or long-winded you speak, make sure you’re clear about what you want to say. Talk it out with a friend before you bring it to him. If you have no one to talk to at the moment, speak it into your phone and record yourself, then listen to the recording. This way, you can hear what it’s like to be on the receiving end of what you are planning to say. (This can be such an eye-opener!)
- Keep it Simple. Once you’re clear about what you want to say, see if you can get it down to a 3-5 word sentence. If you can’t, consider you’re trying to say too much. Also, avoid adding reasons and justifications to what you are sharing. Keeping the message simple not only helps you feel clear about what you’re saying, but allows him to hear you more clearly.
- Take a Breath. Once you’ve clearly and succinctly said what you want to say, take a breath and stop talking. If you know that’s hard for you to do, take a breath and drink some water or put some food in your mouth! I know it sounds funny, but you’re going to have to train yourself to trust that once you’ve said what you want to say clearly, he’s heard you.
- Listen. If he chooses to respond, listen to what he says without interrupting, contradicting, or defending your position. Give him an opportunity to respond and say what he thinks. Remember, he may not agree. That doesn’t mean he didn’t hear you. It just means he has a different opinion or feeling about it. Just listen to what he’s saying.
- Allow there to be spaces of silence. There may be times when he doesn’t immediately respond to what you’ve said. Respect the silence and don’t make it mean that something is “wrong.” Men don’t have the same ability we have to almost immediately connect thoughts to feelings and words. Their brains work differently and, many times, they need more time to process what’s been said. And, as I tell my clients: He can’t hear his thoughts if he’s only hearing yours!
Communication in any relationship is critical, but this doesn’t only refer to the “talking” part of the equation.
So, the next time you’re going to speak with a man, remember to get clear about what you want to say, say it simply and clearly, then take a breath and listen. I promise it will feel like a whole new experience that will lead to a lot more closeness and connection!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Feb 20, 2015 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
This week, I’ve been dealing with a really bad cold, but, as “luck” would have it, the cold provided me with more evidence of the 3 P’s to share with you, because my husband has gone above and beyond this week to do everything in his power to Provide for, Protect, and (wait for it…) Please me!
That’s right! The third “P” most important to a man is that he feels like he is able to Please you.
Now, this may be difficult for you to believe if you’re either not in a great relationship, or it’s been a while since you’ve felt like a man has gone out of his way to make you happy. But trust me, this one is right up there with the other two P’s as something that is essential to a man.
Why is pleasing you so important to him?
Well, no good man ever wakes up in the morning saying, “I wonder what I can do today to make her absolutely miserable!”
First of all, if you’re miserable, chances are you are making him miserable, too!
Secondly, it really does make a man feel fulfilled and complete to know that he is capable of making you feel happy.
You’ll often here me say:
A man doesn’t just want to see you smiling. He also wants to know that he had something to do with the smile on your face! (Tweet, Tweet that one!)
When a man has the consistent experience that nothing he does is good enough, or that “there’s just no pleasing you,” it makes him want to withdraw and stop trying. He doesn’t want to know that he’s doing anything that is causing you to feel disappointed or unhappy. It simply doesn’t feel “good” or “right” to him to know that he’s contributing to your unhappiness.
So, what are some ways that you can help a man contribute to your happiness?
Stop making what makes you happy a secret!
- Let him know what makes you happy. If there are things that you enjoy, like, or prefer, make let him know. If there is something you’d like to eat, an item you’d like to purchase, or a place you’d like to visit, tell him. Now, don’t tell him what to do or how to do it. Just let him know that it’s something that would make you happy. Let him figure out how to make it happen if he chooses to. Don’t make him try to guess or figure out what you want. Instead, set him up to win, because when he wins, you win!
- If something he does pleases you, inform your face! In other words: SMILE! Don’t keep your happiness a secret because you feel like you’ll owe him something or you feel like he’ll stop trying. In fact, the very opposite is true. The positive feeling of knowing that he did something to make you smile is like a drug to man. He’s going to want to repeat that feeling – for you and himself – again, so you’ve just increased the chances that he’ll look for other ways to please you.
- Show your appreciation. Don’t withhold your appreciation in an effort to seem like what he did is “no big deal.” You know how great it feels when you do something nice for someone and they let you know how much it meant to them. He’s no different. Letting him know that you are both happy and grateful for what he did will go a long way toward creating a wonderful cycle of giving, receiving, and appreciation in your relationship!
A good man will always do what he cans to please you.
If you feel like the man in your life has stopped doing the little things to make you happy, rather than looking outward at what he’s doing (or not doing; or not doing “well enough”) –
- Look within and see if you’ve stopped telling him what makes you happy out of fear that you won’t get it.
- See if you’ve been acting as if you don’t notice what he’s doing, or if you’ve been complaining that it’s not enough.
- Ask yourself if you’ve stopped demonstrating your appreciation for the little things, the big things, and everything in between.
If you’ve been doing any of the above, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, make today the day you begin to turn things around by starting to look for and notice the things he is doing – even if it’s something you think he should be doing.
Then smile and let him know that, not only are you happy, but that he had something to do with the smile on your face!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Feb 13, 2015 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
This week is a special one in the Heart’s Desire family! Michelle & Arnie celebrated their 4th Wedding Anniversary!
If you see Michelle and Arnie together today, what you’ll witness is true and pure love. They have one of those relationships that just take your breath away and make you believe that dreams really can come true.
What you wouldn’t be able to see at first glance is that their story was very much like many of yours! See, there was a time when Michelle had given up on the idea that she would ever find the man who would help make her dreams come true.
After almost 13 years of a very difficult marriage, she found herself a young, single mother of two pre-teen boys. She had tried “the dating thing” and found that she kept having the same failed relationship – or pseudo-relationship, because they were only relationships in her mind – over and over again.
“I kept dating the same guy, with a different face, and in a different body, but the results were always the same: They were either unavailable, ‘getting separated,’ or had some type of drug or alcohol problem.”
It seems like, no matter what she tried to do, she just couldn’t get it “right.”
She began to lose hope on finding true love and wanted to give up.
Then something shifted.
Michelle’s coach told her something that would change her life forever.
He asked her, “What do all of those guys have in common?”
“They’re men!” she said.
“Besides, biology,” he said, “what’s the one thing they all have in common?”
She paused, not wanting to say it. “Me.”
The only thing every single one of those men and relationships and in common was her.
This is what started Michelle on the inner journey that has led to her experiencing the love of her dreams!
She began doing the inner work to distinguish, dismantle, and replace the fears, doubts and limiting beliefs that had been causing her to repeat dysfunctional and painful patterns so that she could open her heart to experiencing true love.
And, it was thanks to being courageous enough to be willing to do that work that on a Valentine’s Day 9 years ago Michelle went on her first date with Arnie, and began creating her own Lifetime Love Story!
Was it “easy” work? Not always?
Was it always “fun”? No.
But it was the willingness to stop complaining about how unhappy and frustrated she was and to begin transforming herself and her life that lead to her living her dream-come-true!
And all of the steps that she took, the changes that she made, and the inner work that she did are what we’ve included in our Ready to Love Again program!
See, as happy as Michelle is in her marriage and I am in mine, we believe with every bit of our hearts that it is every woman’s birthright to have the experience of loving and being loved beyond her wildest dreams every single day of her life.
This is why we’ve used our own experiences – our own Love Journeys of heartache, loss, and finding love again – to help women around the world create the life and the love of their dreams!
To celebrate Michelle and Arnie’s fourth anniversary as well as making this the last Valentine’s Day you spend without the love of your dreams, we are giving you a very special opportunity to purchase the Ready to Love Again Home Study Course for almost 50% off the regular price!
That’s how committed we are to you finally breaking through the behaviors, beliefs, and patterns that are keeping you stuck in heartache and loneliness!
Women around the world are experiencing breakthroughs in their lives they never anticipated!
They are attracting great men into their lives!
They are no longer settling for less than they deserve!
And some are planning their weddings!
There is absolutely no reason for you to spend one more Valentine’s Day wishing you finally had the love your heart desires.
Take a step today toward making your dreams come true by allowing us to guide you on your Love Journey.
Order the Ready to Love Again program for our Special Pink Friday price!
This special price is only available for the next 48 hours, so stop waiting, making excuses, or thinking that this “love thing” isn’t for you.
If it’s your heart’s desire to share your life with someone, then it’s up to you to do what it takes to make that a reality!
Remember, it’s your life, your heart, and your dream.
The one with the power to make your dreams come true is YOU!
Order the Ready to Love Again program for our Special Pink Friday price today!
