How to Keep Your Love Tank Full
by Gladys Diaz
This week I had the privilege of attending the Women’s Success Summit, one of my favorite professional events, because I get to learn great information for my business while having fun and being surrounded by good friends, other female entrepreneurs, and some amazing speakers! I also loved spending time with some of you, too!
Before leaving for the conference, I left all of the meals for the week prepared for my husband and the boys so that they’d have ready-to-go healthy meals and I wouldn’t have to plan or cook meals for the rest of the week (Yay! Cooking is something I do not enjoy at all!). Since my hubby was going to be flying solo for two full days, it was my way of saying, “Thank you, honey, for supporting and helping make my dreams come true by helping women around the world make their relationship dreams come true!”
In the past, I can honestly say that I would have never left for even one day without feeling guilty about it. I don’t know why it is, but, for some reason, as women, we tend to feel guilty about doing the things for ourselves that we enjoy, inspire and lift us up, as if by doing that we are somehow hurting or neglecting our families. And, by the way, this is also true for women who don’t have children. Somewhere along the road putting ourselves, our needs and desires first became “selfish” and unloving.
However, it’s virtually impossible to give and receive love freely if you don’t choose to take care of yourself first – guilt-free! As we always hear on the airplane, we can’t help anyone else until after we’ve put our own oxygen masks on. You simply won’t have the patience, energy, or desire to want to be with or care for anyone else if you feel frazzled, exhausted, and overwhelmed all the time. That’s why it’s important to do the things that you enjoy and help replenish your mind, body, and spirit!
So, what can you do to begin refueling your love and energy tank?
Make a list of the things you really enjoy doing.
Are there things that bring you joy and make you laugh aloud, help you feel peaceful and relaxed, or strengthen and empower you physically, emotionally, or spiritually? Put those things on your list! See if you can create a list of 20 things that you really enjoy. If it’s been so long since you’ve done anything for yourself that you can’t even think of 1, much less 20 things, think back a few years to when you were younger, or single, or first married. What are the things you used to do back then! Oh, and keep most of the items on the list simple and easy for you to do, because you’re going to want to do some of these every day!
Do 2-3 of the things on your list every day.
That’s right! There’s no typo! To have the patience, energy, and willingness to get out there and date or to have peace and intimacy in your home, you need to refuel your love and energy tank daily. It’s not enough to have one day each week or once a month when you go get your hair or nails done, have lunch with a friend, or sit down to read a book. You are living every day, which means you’re giving every day – usually to other people – so it’s important that you put yourself on your list of things to take care of every single day! It may feel difficult or uncomfortable when you first begin, especially if you’re not used to doing anything for yourself, but trust me, once you get used to it, you will see what a difference it makes for you and for the people around you when you are feeling happy, rested, and cared for!
Ditch the guilt!
The guilt you feel when you do something for yourself is self-imposed. And if you are allowing others around you to make you feel guilty, then just know it’s only because you’ve probably trained them to do so, because you haven’t made yourself and your happiness one of your priorities. We teach people how to treat us, and, once your friends, family, and/or begin to see that you are making your happiness and well-being a priority, don’t be surprised if they start to treat you with more Tender Loving Care, too!
Chances are very high that every woman reading this has someone or something for whom she is mainly responsible. And, just to be clear, I’m in no way saying that you should only focus on yourself to the detriment of those around you. What I am saying is that, loving, giving, and caring for others takes time, energy, and patience – none of which are available to us when we’re constantly on “empty” and running on fumes. Denying yourself pleasure and fun doesn’t make you more loving, and it certainly doesn’t make you more lovable. So, to experience the joy of loving and being loved freely and abundantly do yourself and those around you a huge favor, and do what you can every day to make sure your love and energy meter is always on “full”!
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