by heartsdesireintl | Nov 7, 2012 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
You know the saying: Once a teacher, always a teacher!
Over 20 years ago, I started my career as an educator. All of my life, I have loved the process of learning, growing, and teaching! Call me a “geek,” but I love coming across new information – particularly when it comes to inspirational and transformational information! If there is something that will help me in my personal and spiritual growth and development, I’m all over it!
This is one of the reasons I’m so passionate about what I do. In my heart, I will always be a a teacher – whether I have a group of students, teachers and administrators in front of me, or a group of amazing women who are interested in learning the skills and habits that lead to life-long romance – I was born to teach! And there is nothing I love more than working with women who are committed to having extraordinary, passionate, loving relationships and teaching them the skills and habits that lead them creating that in their lives!
That’s why I am thrilled to be co-hosting two calls next week with NY Times best-selling author of The Surrendered Single and The Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle. Heart’s Desire and Laura have worked closely over the past few years to empower women in all stages of relationships with the skills and habits that lead to attracting, creating, and nurturing a passionate, intimate, loving relationship that lasts for a lifetime!
Real-Life Skills for Real-Love Breakthroughs!
These calls will be chalk-full of real-life, practical information that you can start implementing right away and begin attracting and living in the relationship your heart truly desires. And, to make sure you get the information you want, we’re offering separate calls for women who are single and those who are married or in relationships. All of the details, as well as the link you can use to register right away is included below.
I know you want the type of relationship where you feel loved, cherished, and adored every single day… The type of relationship where you know that you are becoming the best version of yourself and sharing your life with a man who is absolutely right for you… The type of relationship you were born to share in! And I know that these calls will help you create and experience that every day for the rest of your life!
So, go ahead! Click on the call that’s right for you, and join us next week! And, yes! Feel free to share the links with the women in your life who are also committed to experiencing the life and love their hearts desire!
Call for Single Ladies Who are READY to Attract & Marry the Man Who is Right for You!:
You’ll learn:
- What to do on a first date to set the tone for the rest of your relationship
- What makes you the most irresistible to men (hint: it’s not about appearances)
- What to do when a guy you’re interested in doesn’t call you
- The one most important thing to do to attract the right guy
Date: Thursday, November 15, 2012
Time: 9:00 PM Eastern
(that’s 8 PM Central, 7 PM Mountain, 6 PM Pacific)
Register: How to Attract and Marry the Man Who’s Right for You
Call for Ladies Who are READY to Learn Mind-Blowing Relationship Tools that Work Immediately!:
You’ll learn:
- The indispensable first step to achieving a passionate relationship
- What makes you totally irresistible to your man (and it’s not about the way you look!)
- 3 phrases that guarantee intimacy to get the connection you crave
- Why he’ll want to do more for you when you start doing less for him
Date: Monday, November 12th 2012
Time: 9:00 PM Eastern
(that’s 8 PM Central, 7 PM Mountain, 6 PM Pacific)
Register: Mind-blowing Relationship Tools That Work Immediately
Teaching and working with women, and empowering them to live the love they deserve and desire is my passion! I look forward to connecting with you on the call and being part of your Love Journey!
Have questions or comments? Leave them below! We love hearing from you!
Photo credit: rearechelon via photopin.com cc
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 24, 2012 | Dating, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear.
~ Oprah Winfrey
This week, we’ve been talking about reasons, excuses, the things we hold to be “the truth,” and today I’d like to talk about fear. There are few things in life that are more paralyzing than fear. Fear can stop us from moving forward, taking a risk, or breaking through the barriers that prevent us from living a happy, fulfilled life.
But what is it that we’re afraid of? Perhaps one of my favorite explanations of the word fear is the acronym F.E.A.R.:
Just like the excuses and “truths” we hold on to that, in turn, hold us back, our fears can paralyze us, keep us “stuck” where we are – unwilling and seemingly unable to take the actions that are consistent with what we say we want.
Usually, a fear can be traced back to something in our past – an event that left us feeling alone, abandoned, embarrassed, hurt, deceived. There was a moment where we felt the sting of disappointment and we made a decision – a vow, if you will – that this would never happen to us again. We would never allow ourselves to trust anyone ever again. We would never really be taken care of or protected by anyone except ourselves. We would never allow ourselves to love someone that fully and completely ever again.
And, in that life-defining moment, we allowed the fear to run the show called “my life.” We gave the fear permission to decide who we would go out with and even who we would allow to approach us. We allowed the fear to decide just how much of ourselves we’d be willing to let someone else see about who we really are and how much of ourselves they would ever be able to experience. We allowed the fear to weigh and measure our words; to strategize in order to control and manipulate people and situations so that they will turn out exactly the way we wanted. We allowed the fear to shut us down, kill off new possibilities, and keep us alone… even though, we say that what we want more than anything is to be loved and share our lives with someone else.
And, lest you think I’m only referring to those who are single, let me clarify. Some of us who are in relationships are still terrified of allowing the person we love to see us and know us completely. We allow the fear of possibly being disappointed again to keep us holding on to that last 5, 20, or 50 percent of our love. We never allow ourselves to fully open our hearts and our Selves to another. We allow the fear to hold on to that little bit of our Selves… just in case…
Now, am I saying to put yourself in emotional or physical harm just to “prove” that you are not afraid? Absolutely not! Your emotional and physical safety always come first. However, if you are always “careful,” always weary of others, always on the defense, then you want to take some time to identify the fear – bring it out of your blind spot and see it for what it is: A neurological brain pattern… A thought… False Evidence Appearing Real. That’s all it is. But, left undistinguished and in the background, the fear will continue running the show. And you’ll be left were you are – afraid, alone, and wondering if you’ll ever really experience what it is like to love and be loved freely – free from the fear, free to love, free to experience all this life has to offer and the abundant love, peace, and joy for which you were created!
It’s up to you. You always get to choose.
The question is: Will you choose love over fear?
Photo credit: linh.ngan via photopin.com cc
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 23, 2012 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
“The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.”
~ Pema Chodron
In yesterday’s blog post, we looked at how our reasons can stop us from moving forward and creating the life and the love that we want. In addition to our reasons, there are certain thoughts and beliefs that we hold as “the truth” that can completely keep us stuck where we are, repeating patterns of behaviors and experiences, attracting the same type of person into our lives, and creating the false reality that this is the only way things will ever be and happen for us.
How can we shift these beliefs so that we can begin to experience freedom in our lives and relationships to create what we really desire?
Let’s begin by taking a look at ourselves, because this is where everything truly begins, anyway.
If, for example, you have limiting beliefs about yourself – about your worth, the type of love and life you deserve, what you are able to accomplish or experience in your life, or why you “are” the way you “are” – it is difficult for you to hear, accept or believe anything different. Even if you read a great and inspirational self-help book, attend an incredible workshop, or work with an amazing and effective coach, until you commit to letting go of these limiting beliefs, it doesn’t matter what you read or hear. You simply won’t believe it. You aren’t available to hear and accept it.
If you have limiting beliefs about men and relationships, if you are clinging to the belief that men only want sex, that men can’t and don’t want to make a commitment, and that men are cheaters, how in the world can you then be surprised when every man that you attract into your life provides you with more evidence to support that belief you hold as “the truth”? By universal law, what you believe to be true will continue to present itself in your life – no matter how much you wish, hope, or pray for it to be any different.
And, if you’ve loved and been hurt before – due to the fact that the person left, you chose to leave, or because of a death – and you believe that you will never experience love again because there is only one “The One” for each person in the world, then you will continue to take actions that are consistent with that belief. Even if you do go out and date different people, you will always find a reason why he’s not “good enough,” doesn’t “measure up” to your lost love, or how he reminds you too much of the one who broke your heart. Over and over, you’ll experience having a broken heart or never really having the experience of loving and being loved ever again.
Bottom line: In order for there to be a change in your experience of life and love, it’s going to require a mental and emotional “shift” to begin to see things differently.
Sound difficult? It can be. But it doesn’t have to be!
See, that “truth” that you are clinging true is no more and no less “true” than the opposite of that statement. What do I mean? Well, if you believe, for example, that all men want from you is sex, that is no more and no less true than telling yourself that every man you meet is dying to make you his wife! The only difference is that you’ve been telling yourself one thing a lot longer than the other, and you’ve spent a lot of time and energy gathering evidence and convincing yourself that it is true! So, now, what if you begin to see every man as someone who is committed to pleasing and making you smile, and trying his hardest to be the one you will choose to love for the rest of his life? What if that was the truth? What would the experience of dating be like then? Hmmmm…
If the “truth” you’ve been holding onto is that your marriage is beyond repair, that your husband doesn’t want the relationship to work, and that you’re better off alone, then you will likely spend every minute of every day looking for evidence to support this. You’ll see how distant he is. How he seems to not care about anything – especially you. However, what if you choose to believe that the promises you made to each other on your wedding day were not merely “suggestions” or “a wish”? What if you were to begin to look for evidence of all of the ways your husband shows that he does want the relationship to work – even if the way he chooses to do this is by being quiet and distant (because he’d rather do that than constantly be arguing with you, because he loves you)? What if you were to choose to focus your energy on looking for evidence of all the qualities that had you fall in love with him in the first place (because they are still there… only buried beneath a pile of complaints and expectations)? What would the experience of being married and doing whatever you could to shift things around – beginning with yourself? Hmmmm…
The point is that you create your own “truth.” You can choose to believe something different. See, if we’re going to make up what the truth is for ourselves, we may as well make up something that empowers and inspires us, rather than something that fills us with fear, cynicism and resignation, right?
So, here are some steps you can take in order to begin “the shift”:
- Write down all of the things you “already know to be true” about yourself, men, and relationships.
- Next to each statement, write down what it is costing you to continue believing that this is “the truth.”
- Under each statement write a new and empowering affirmation – a new truth – that you can begin to repeatedly tell yourself so that you can begin the process of “rewiring” your brain and believing in what’s truly possible for YOU!
What “truth” have you been holding on to? Are you ready to let it go in order to have the love and life you desire and deserve?
Photo credit: twenty_questions via photopin.com cc
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 17, 2012 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
Gladys Diaz
Language does have the power to change reality. Therefore, treat your words as the mighty instruments they are – to heal, to bring into being, to remove, as if by magic, the terrible violations of childhood, to nurture, to cherish, to bless, to forgive – to create from the whole cloth of your soul, true love.
~ Daphne Rose Kingma
One of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal– second only to our thoughts – are our words. Many of us don’t realize the incredible power our words have to create our reality.
Perhaps the most difficult time to harness the power of our words is when we are upset or disappointed. In moments of anger, when we are not being conscious or aware of what we are doing and saying, we can say some of the most damaging things to the person we profess to love the most. We will slice them up and tear them down with accusations, disrespect, and words that have every intention of causing pain.
Unfortunately, many times, it’s not until after the damage has been done that we realize what has already been said. We may feel and even express remorse. But the words were said, and there is no taking them back.
We can also use our words to build up, edify, and honor the ones we love. Affirming who they are for us, declaring the belief we have in them, expressing the gratitude we feel at having the opportunity to love and be loved by them. We can use our words to create what we want to see in the relationship, how we want the experience to be. We can create “spouse-fulfilling prophesies” that communicate: “I choose you. I trust you. I believe in you. I am standing by you,” even when things are not 100% where you would like them to be. Words of encouragement go a much longer way toward inspiring change in ourselves and those we love than do words of criticism and complaint.
I know things are not always “rosy.” Each relationship has its own ups and downs, victories and challenges. I also know that words are powerful, they can create or destroy, build up or tear down, bring hope or cynicism. And, because I believe in my own power to create the life, relationship, and world I want to experience, I will continue choosing to write, speak, share, and listen to words that manifest love, hope, peace, and empowerment!
How do you use your words to create your reality?
Photo credit: Jennuine Captures via photopin.com cc
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 16, 2012 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
Making a commitment to change and do whatever it takes to create the type of relationship you have always wanted – whether your are single and ready to attract the man who is right for you, or you are already married or in a committed relationship where some of the intimacy has been lost – takes a huge amount of courage. Below is a message I sent the women who receive our newsletter last year about the steps you can take when you feel ready to make a change.
How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to?
~ Anthony Robbins
Have you ever come to the realization that you want different results, but you’re just not sure how or where to begin or how to make a change? Almost any time we choose to make a change in our lives – whether it has to do with our health, our careers, or our personal relationships – there is a factor that seems to rear its ugly little head, making us doubt that change is truly possible: Fear.
So many times, when I am coaching women around creating or recreating their romantic relationships, some concerns that come up include:
· Can I really change after all this time?
· What if I make all of these personal changes and it doesn’t make a difference?
· What if I change, but he doesn’t?
All of these concerns are understandable. When we’ve consistently been doing something – a certain behavior or habit; a way of acting or reacting; a pattern of thinking – as uncomfortable or undesirable as the results we are getting may be, we still resist changing out of fear. What we may not realize is that this fear has nothing to do with what is possible now or in the future. This fear of what may happen or not happen is coming from our past. And, unless we distinguish it for what it truly is – fear, NOT reality – we will use this as the excuse to remain in the same pattern of destructive – or, at the very least, unfulfilling – beliefs and actions, rather than muster up the courage to begin to transform those areas by taking new, more empowering steps toward the future we really desire.
So, how do we being to change those patterns? By taking actions! Here are a few things we help the women we work with do:
- Determine and declare the type of relationship you are committed to creating. This is an essential first step. Unless you are clear about the type of relationship you are committed to creating, fear, memories, and resentments from the past will creep in and convince you that you are doing too much, wasting your time, or not worthy of the love you desire and deserve.
- Acknowledge when a fear-based thought enters your mind and relate to it as just that: Simply a thought, not reality.
- Acknowledge that that thought is coming from the past and has nothing to do with what is possible for you now or in the future.
- Begin to take daily consistent actions regarding how you think, act, and respond to those around you (especially the person you are dating or with whom you are in a relationship).
Breaking free of the past is much easier when you have your sights clearly set on the future you are committed to creating and living in to. When that clarity is there, and when you believe in your heart that you are deserving and capable enough to create that future, there is very little that can stand in your way!
Photo credit: via melolou photo.com cc
