by Gladys Diaz

This past weekend, Michelle and I celebrated our 42^nd Birthday (for those of you who didn’t know, we are twins!).  When it comes to birthdays, I love to make a big deal.  When my husband or one of my boys has a birthday, I make that whole week  Birthday Week,” and that person gets to feel special all week through small surprises, getting away with a little more than usual, and being served Birthday Pancakes on the big day (one for each year). It’s my way of making the guys I love feel special.  And I get that it’s my way – the way I like to express my love through small gifts and acts of kindness.

My husband is not really into details like that.  He always shows me that he loves me, but expresses his love through physical touch and spending time together.  In the past, I have to admit that I would build up this “birthday surprise” in my head and then go about planning things to make it happen, because I didn’t want to be disappointed if he hadn’t planned something special for me. On a few occasions, I was upset that he was asking me on the day of my birthday what it was I wanted to do.  And, back in my pouty, bratty, controlling days, we ended up not doing much of anything, because I was more concerned with being right than being happy… even on my birthday!

Well, this Birthday Week I was too sick to really plan anything… And the most amazing thing happened!  First, my husband planned a night of dinner and dancing with my sister and her husband.  That plan fell through, due to my illness, but it was soooo awesome that he came up with what would have been my perfect idea for a birthday celebration with my best friends!  When he saw how sad I was about not being able to go out with them, he said, “We can still do something fun, just the two of us.”  He asked me what I wanted to do, and we ended up going to a dine-in theater  where we had a spectacular dinner while watching a movie in reclining sofa-style seats, with an ottoman on which to prop up our feet!  I loved it!

Before I left to go pick up my mom so that she could watch the boys, I noticed my little one was dressed, and not in his pajamas.  When I asked him, he said, “Well, I thought we were going with Dada to the ssss—.” Busted! Poor thing, he was trying to keep the secret that my husband had planned to take them out to the store to get me a present while I picked up my mom!  Another surprise!  The boys ended up picking out some beautiful bangle bracelets in my favorite color (purple), and my husband picked out the sweetest birthday card, in which he wrote me a message, thanking  me for being the best mom, wife, and best friend.  They also bought me some yummy cookies-and-cream chocolate mousse cupcakes (can’t wait to have my left-over one tonight!).

On my actual birthday, I went thrift store shopping (one of my favorite things to do), and I scored a beautiful new BCBG dress that will be my favorite for a long time, as well as some other great finds (mostly purple!). Not once did my husband call to tell me we were going to be late for the movies (his pet peeve) if I didn’t hurry up.  He just sent me one text about ½ an hour before we had to leave to ask me my status.  So, I got to shop in peace (another surprise!).  We took the boys to see a really funny movie, then went to order some crabs to be steamed (my birthday, my choice!) and he bought me some cute purple-and-black sneakers that we just happened to walk by at the store (yet another surprise).  We had our yummy crab dinner and then snuggled on the couch until late, watching some of our favorite shows.

As I lay down last night, I thanked God for all of the sweet surprises I had received on this Birthday Weekend.  And it wasn’t really about the gifts.  It was the fact that my hubby had gone out of his way to make sure that I felt special on my Birthday.  He did all of the little things that make me smile, jump up and down with delight, and make me feel loved.  I didn’t ask him to.  I didn’t expect it.  Instead, I gave myself the gift of allowing myself to be pleasantly surprised.  And it was so much sweeter that way!

I must have thanked my husband at least a hundred times this weekend… But, you know what… When I finish typing this blog post, I’m going to send him a thank-you text, just because I’m still smiling!

Do you and your husband or boyfriend have different ways of expressing your love?  Do you resent or try to get him to change his ways to match, or do you allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised?