by heartsdesireintl | Oct 19, 2012 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.
~ David Augsburger
When people think about “good communication,” they usually think about how effectively they can say or deliver their message. As we saw in a blog posted earlier this week, when we discussed the power of your words, it is important to say what you want to say with love and respect. Listening, however, can be an even more important aspect of communication. The way we listen can actually communicate love more loudly than anything we can say.
If we listen with the intention of figuring out what we are going to say in response to what the other person is saying, we are not being present in the conversation. If we are listening through a preconceived “filter” of how we already see and hear the person who is speaking – filled with judgment, lack of belief, etc. – then we may miss what the person is trying to tell us. And, if we allow ourselves to get “triggered” during the conversation, we can totally miss the “heart message” behind the words being spoken.
Contrarily, if we choose to listen – to truly hear the person, the message, and the possibilities behind what is being shared – even if it’s uncomfortable to hear… even if there’s something we’d like to say about it… even if we’re not sure where the conversation will lead… If we can commit to just listening, we give the person speaking the gift of feeling like he/she is being heard, “gotten,” and loved. And, in this act of listening, we give ourselves a gift, too, because, as we listen, we may discover something new about the person and ourselves, we may finally hear the message we’ve been waiting and hoping to hear, and may just experience the love, intimacy, and connection our hearts desire.
To whom will you give the gift of listening today?
Photo credit: Collin Key via photopin.com cc
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 18, 2012 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
“Become loving. When you are in the embrace, become the embrace. Become the kiss. Forget yourself so totally that you can say, “I am no more. Only love exists.” Then the heart is not beating, but love is beating. Then the blood is not circulating, but love is circulating. Then eyes are not seeing, love is seeing. Then hands are not moving to touch, love is moving to touch. Become love and enter everlasting life. Love suddenly changes your dimension. You are thrown out of time and you are facing eternity. Love can become a deep meditation, the deepest possible. Lovers have known sometimes what saints have not known.”
~ OSHO
If there is one thing that every person on the planet shares in common, it is that we all want to know what it feels like to love and be loved. Being loved is an intrinsic need, a desire, that is at the core of each and every one of us.
Many times, when things are not going well in a relationship, there can be a tendency to look outside of ourselves – usually at the other person – to explain why things are not working. We see what the other person is doing or not doing, saying or not saying, that is impacting the relationship. And, when we do this, we take ourselves off the hook. We don’t have to take responsibility for the role that we’ve played in things getting to the point that they have. We can hide behind anger and resentment and use that as the excuse for not trying to make things better, and we stop ourselves from being loving because we fear not being loved in return.
In order to experience love, we must choose to BE loving. Rather than looking outside of ourselves for reasons, excuses, and justifications, we can look within to see what we can do to bring love to the relationship. Rather than hoping, wishing and waiting for things to change on their own, we can BE the change in the relationship, and create a space where love is able to show up, be present, fill us and touch those around us.
So, today, in your thoughts, words, actions, and reactions, remember to choose to BE loving.
How will you choose to BE loving today?
Photo credit: rachel_titiriga via photo.pin cc
