by Gladys Diaz
Are you finding yourself on an endless carousel of disappointing dates?
Are you attracting the wrong type of men, time and again?
Perhaps it’s not simply a matter of luck or circumstance, but of unconscious self-sabotage.
Sabotage is doing anything that’s not aligned with what you say you desire.
The reason why it’s unconscious is because you don’t realize you’re doing it! I’m sure you don’t wake up in the morning and think, “I can’t wait to sabotage my day (or love life)!”
Even so, the truth is – you’re always manifesting something, whether it’s what you want or what you don’t want.
And if you want to be in an extraordinary relationship, and you’re not – something is getting in the way.
Keep reading to explore three common self-saboteurs that might be hindering you from attracting the right man. Once you’re aware of these, you’ll be better equipped to make positive changes that can drastically improve your dating experiences.
Saboteur #1: Behaviors and Patterns
Since we said that most (if not all) self-sabotaging is unconscious, the easiest way to know if you’re self-sabotaging is to look at the behaviors and patterns that are not aligned with what you say you want.
Do you tolerate disrespectful behavior?
Do you not set or maintain your values and boundaries?
Do you constantly put others’ needs before your own?
Do you notice you settle for whatever’s showing up?
Do you get angry when a guy doesn’t call you for a 2nd date?
Do you write someone off before giving yourself a chance to get to know them because they aren’t tall enough, have been divorced or have kids?
Do you shut down and “take a break” from dating (perhaps for longer than really necessary) after a disappointing dating experience?
These are all examples of behaviors that can sabotage your dating experiences that you may not recognize.
Knowing what you want to experience inside the relationship of your dreams and BEing the woman who knows she can have it all supports you in transforming these behaviors and patterns that may be getting in the way.
When working to transform your actions it’s important to look for what thoughts are underneath them and driving the behavior.
Saboteur #2: Limiting Beliefs and Fears
The #1 most significant and common self-saboteur is overlooking the thoughts that are sabotaging you. Your thoughts lead to your behavior which leads to the patterns you’ve developed and the results you create.
What you attract is an energetic match for what you truly believe. In other words, you attract what you are, not what you want.
So, if you’re carrying unresolved issues, harboring negativity, or stuck in unhealthy patterns, you’re likely to attract individuals who mirror these same characteristics.
If you’re afraid you’re going to end up with a man who’s controlling, that’s probably exactly what you’re attracting – controlling men.
If you think all men are liars and cheaters, what will you attract? Men who don’t follow through with what they say and aren’t ready to commit.
Invest time in understanding and improving your thought patterns. If you’d like support with distinguishing, dismantling and replacing sabotaging thoughts, schedule a Love Breakthrough Session!
On this call we’ll support you to discover the thoughts that are leading to the dating experiences you don’t want so you can have a breakthrough and begin to create the results you desire!
By focusing on becoming the best version of you, you’ll naturally become more attractive to those who value and appreciate the qualities you’ve nurtured within yourself.
Saboteur #3: Clinging to What you Know and Not Getting Curious About What’s Not Working
If you want to be in the relationship of your dreams and you’re not – something is getting in the way.
I promise you, these are not the issues:
- Where you live
- What you do for a living
- How much you weigh
- Your age
- How much debt you have
- How many prior relationship you have (or haven’t) been in
- There’s no good men out there or all the good ones are already taken
Holding onto these sabotaging and circumstantial beliefs can set you up for constant disappointment and make you overlook potentially great matches because they don’t fit your preconceived mold or because you don’t think you’re ready or deserving of love.
If you’re not attracting the type of man you’d like or creating the results you desire in dating and relationships, get curious and ask yourself, “Why am I attracting this?”
Attracting the right man is not about getting on the “right” dating apps or wearing the right outfit. It’s about introspection, self-improvement, and maintaining a healthy sense of self-worth.
If you find yourself constantly attracting the wrong kind of men, perhaps it’s time to step back and examine these areas of your life.
Avoid these self-sabotaging mistakes, and you’ll create a path to attract a partner who values, respects, and cherishes you, just as you are.
Take this opportunity for yourself to overcome the thought and behavior patterns that are sabotaging your love life!
Remember, the journey to finding the right person often starts with being the right person to yourself. It’s time to become the person who attracts the love you deserve.