by Gladys Diaz
Even before the events of Covid-19 shook our world, women would come to us because they were triggered by the distance they felt in relationships.
Whether it was physical distance or perceived distance (like he starts texting/calling less than he did before), distance is something that causes a lot of women anxiety.
Because of the events of the last couple of months and the “social distancing” regulations that have been put on all of us, this anxiety may be amplified for you.
If anxiety in relationships isn’t something you had previously dealt with, it may be something that has been coming up for you now.
As these “social distancing” regulations begin to be lifted in different parts of the country, a whole new kind of anxiety might be setting in for you. The anxiety of whether it’s really safe to go out now? …to meet someone new? …to hug or kiss?
If you have been or are experiencing anxiety for any reason, you’re not alone, and the number one thing you can do for yourself under our current circumstances is to honor yourself. Get clarity around what’s true for you. Let go of social agreements and make a decision you can stand by.
One of the essential elements of being an Irresistible Woman is being connected to what you really feel and standing confidently in it.
So, what do you do if, because the restrictions are being lifted in your community, a guy asks you if you’d like to meet, and you still feel like it’s too soon?
You can say, “For me, it’s still too soon to meet in person, but I’d love to keep getting to know you.” From there he can decide whether or how he wants to make that happen.
It’s as easy as that.
What if you had anxiety before Covid-19? Did experiencing distance (either physical or perceived distance ) in a relationship trigger you before?
Did you find yourself sending memes that you found funny or articles you thought he’d be interested in because you’re feeling anxious that you haven’t heard from him in a few days (or hours!)
Do you find yourself doing these things just so you can get on his radar and get the hit that will deflate the anxiety when/if he responds?
If so, remember this: It’s not as helpful to pay attention to what he’s doing as it is to pay attention to how you’re reacting to it.
Your reaction is what’s causing the anxiety.
When the anxiety hits, ask yourself: “What is it that’s really bothering me?” “Why does not hearing from him worry me so much?”
And then be gentle with yourself.
It’s a fear that’s getting triggered, and it can feel all-consuming.
Take a breath and remind yourself that you’re safe and nothing bad is happening to you.
If you’re feeling this over a guy you’ve just started seeing, then remind yourself that you’re just getting to know each other and it’s okay that you haven’t heard from him. It doesn’t mean anything.
If it’s someone you’ve been seeing a little longer, then ask yourself if the anxiety you’re feeling is because you’re getting attached because he’s the only person you’re seeing. If you’re still not in a committed relationship with a man, maybe it’s time to open up to seeing others as well.
It is also powerful to notice if anxiety is a pattern you’ve created for yourself.
Not to downplay it in any way, as anxiety is a very real experience that has your nervous system go crazy and triggers irrational thoughts. But notice if being in a state of high anxiety is something you’ve trained yourself to feel.
We find with many women that they feel “alive” when they’re worrying about something and that, even when things are calm and going well, they still feel anxiety because they automatically (and subconsciously) start looking for something to worry about it.
Anxiety can also be triggered by wanting to control people, conditions, or circumstances that are outside of your control.
If you notice yourself in this pattern, start teaching yourself how to shift.
If you find yourself looking for something to worry about, notice and laugh about it. Then think of something you’re grateful for, or think of something else you can focus your attention on that you do have control over so that you can begin to retrain your mind out of the pattern of constant worrying.
There is so much more we could share on this topic, and so much of this really requires personal coaching to get to the root of what triggers the anxiety in the first place!
This is why we’re so excited to be inviting you to the second Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, May 2nd at 12pm Eastern!
Because we had such an incredible turn out last week, because so many of you asked if we could offer the training again – and because we had so much fun – we decided to do it one more time!
In this interactive masterclass you will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating skills, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams.
In the search for love, you don’t have to be worried!
You are in control of how you feel, react, and respond, and we’re here to show you how!
As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.
We’re here for you!
Gladys & Michelle
The Love Twins