by Gladys Diaz
Do you feel like you and your partner can’t agree on anything?
Do you like to talk about things and he prefers to think it through first?
When disagreements arise, do tension and arguments rise, too?
Do you feel like you don’t know how your differences can work in your relationship?
Let me tell you this.
“It’s not disagreements that’s tearing your relationship apart. It’s the way you’re disagreeing.”
Ric and I are like the yin and yang. We are two complete opposite puzzle pieces that couldn’t be more different.
We feel differently about religion, about politics and lots of other things! We are extremely different! And there was a time when I wasn’t sure our relationship would survive.
When I look back on that time in our marriage, I am embarrassed because I had to be right about everything! I would correct everything he did. Even the smallest things he did and said If he did them differently than me, I would correct him.
Almost every conversation we had, whether we were talking about paint, our dinner, or work, would end up in an argument, and I would end up in another room crying because I was so upset about how such a simple conversation could end so badly.
Can you relate?
The thing is we all have an Ego – that part of our brain that wants to keep us safe and wants us to be right, no matter what the cost. And, as human beings with an Ego, sometimes we don’t realize that we are giving away our happiness in our effort to be right.
It is painful and exhausting to be in the experience of always fighting over things you don’t agree on.
Your fear that possibly you made the wrong choice when you picked your partner, or that, if you were right for each other it wouldn’t be so hard is often the thing that is triggering your need to be right.
Sometimes we think that if two people are meant to be together, they’ll like all the same things, think the same way, and make the same choices
That couldn’t be farther from the truth!
Again, remember the yin and yang? Your differences and individuality are the things that brought you together, and they are the things that will keep you together – IF you learn how to respect and appreciate them.
You first need awareness of the pattern – because, more than likely, it’s happening automatically.
So, ask yourself honestly:
Does this resonate with you?
Do you put your partner down?
Do you correct and try to get him to agree with you?
I guarantee that your intention is not to hurt each other – I know mine wasn’t!
But are you reacting to a subconscious fear or belief and, in the process, making him wrong?
Awareness is just the first step in the process. There are communication and relationship skills that will help you transform your differences from this recurring experience of disagreeing and fighting into something beautiful that actually brings you closer together.
Relationships require at least one person in the relationship being willing to show up at her strongest so that things work well, and if you desire a happy, healthy, connected and passionate relationship that will last a lifetime, then we have something special for you!
We’re so excited to be inviting you to the Reignite the Spark Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, May 9th at 12pm Eastern!
In three information-packed hours, you’ll learn exactly how to break through the patterns that have been sabotaging your relationship, inspire your partner’s love and desire, and deepen the love and intimacy in your relationship (yes, even during these stressful times), so that you can create the happy, loving relationship that will last well beyond this pandemic. In fact… It will last for a lifetime!
Just like two puzzle pieces that are shaped exactly the opposite of one another in order to complete the puzzle , two very different people can fit together perfectly, despite their differences, and create a beautiful masterpiece when they learn how to fit together.
We’re here to show you how!