by heartsdesireintl | Dec 18, 2012 | Dating, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
TONIGHT at 9:00pm Eastern/6:00pm Pacific
Make YOUR 2013 New Year’s Resolutions
for the Love, Relationship and Marriage You Want!
We will spend one magical hour devoted to helping you clarify your love and relationship desires, shaping them into intentions and resolutions, and defining the simple steps to create the relationship you’ve always wanted.
Here’s How it Works:
Come to the call with your homework ready. Just answer this question:
What do you want your love life to be like in 2013?
Don’t worry if you’re not sure what you really want. By the end of the call you’ll be inspired, your intentions will be crystal clear and you’ll know exactly what action to take to make your desire a reality.
To come to this one-time event, sign up for Intimacy Skills Training here!
Your $10 registration fee includes an entire month of Intimacy Skills Training, but space is limited to the first 30 women. We’re keeping the party intimate.
Join now and have a truly happy, love-filled and joyous 2013!
The difference between a “good love life” and a “great love life” is having the relationship your heart desires!
Sign up now!
Photo credit: Sprengben via photopin.com cc
by heartsdesireintl | Dec 14, 2012 | Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
This week, my husband and I created a really intimate moment, and I just wanted to share it with all of you.
I have been wanting to make an investment in growing my business to a whole new level for over a year. There is a particular coach who, from the first free video I saw of her, reached me in a way others have not. I’ve followed her, read every blog post she posts, watched her videos and live stream events, and have even won a couple of free consultations with her. Earlier this year, I joined her Inner Circle Coaching group, and, aside from learning so much about what I can do to grow my business, I’ve made some pretty amazing new friends who inspire and encourage me. And, in spite of all of this, I was afraid to make the investment in my business, because it felt like “too much.”
I finally made the choice to hire her as my coach, with her unshakable encouragement and stand for me. And I had no idea how I was going to manage the payments. But I wanted to do what I tell my clients to do: Recognize your fear as a fear, and step outside of it, because that’s where miracles happen!
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by heartsdesireintl | Dec 11, 2012 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
The other night, we held our monthly Intimacy Skills Training Webinar. The topic of the webinar was “How to Get More Help, Gifts, and Compliments: The Magic of Gratitude. Being on the call was – in a word – magical! In just a few minutes of doing two exercises, all of us on the call were able to experience a “shift” in the energy around us – and this was a virtual meeting with women from all over the world.
In the first exercise, we walked through a few “less-than-desirable” scenarios and looked to see what it was that we could be thankful for. It was amazing how we were able to find things to be grateful for, even when a guy arrives late for a date without calling to say he’s going to be late; when our man chooses to invite a friend who just broke up with his fiancé to what was supposed to be a romantic dinner; and when our guy changes a light bulb 3 weeks after he said he would, and after we tripped on the stairs (true story!). It was wonderful to see all of the things that the women were typing into the chat box as reasons for which to be grateful in situations where we could just as easily choose to be upset, make sure he felt guilty about doing something “wrong,” and potentially end up in a bitter argument.
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by heartsdesireintl | Dec 5, 2012 | Dating, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
I’m almost embarrassed to admit this, but, yes, from time to time, I watch reality TV. Usually, it’s something inspirational, like Oprah’s Lifeclass, Iyanla, Fix My Life, or Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition. I prefer to watch reality shows that inspire the audience who is watching to make similar changes in their own lives. And, there are shows I watch as a dating and relationship coach for “research” on what to say to my clients (and, more often, with some of the matchmaking and dating shows, what not to say to them).
There is one show that I watch that, while not it’s “inspirational,” nor does it “technically” have to do with dating and relationships, is providing more research than I expected when I began watching it: The Real Housewives of Miami. As someone who truly believes in the empowerment of women and in helping women become the best versions of themselves, I tend to stay away from drama-driven shows that depict women – or have women depict themselves – in an unfavorable light. But when I learned that someone I knew and have worked with before was going to be on the show, I was intrigued to watch!
So, what love lessons have I gleaned from watching The Real Housewives of Miami that I can share with you?
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You have to be crystal clear about what you want to experience in a relationship.
Several of the cast members, including Karent Sierra, have learned the hard way that, if you’re not 100% clear about what you want to experience in a relationship, you will “settle” for what you get. When your heart’s desire is to be married and have children, it doesn’t mean that you would never date someone who, at the beginning is not sure this is something that he wants. However, once you’ve been together a while and shared how important this is to you, if he’s still showing signs that this is not what he wants and where he is headed, don’t fool yourself by thinking that if you “love him enough,” “prove” that you’ll be a great wife and mother, or try to guilt or manipulate him into seeing how much it is hurting you to not have what you want, that you’ll somehow, eventually, change his mind. The truth is that you need to stand for what’s important to you. Giving ultimatums, making demands, and wishing and hoping that he will change his mind make it seem like it’s his choice to give you what you want to be happy, when the choice is actually yours. See, only you know how long you are willing to wait to have the life your heart desires, and, eventually, you may need to make the courageous decision, as Karent did, to move on, knowing that there is someone out there (who, by the way, is already looking for you) who will not only love and cherish you for the amazing woman you are, but who is also willing to step into your life and make the relationship of your dreams a reality for both of you!
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When it’s over, it’s time to move on – Really move on.
As strong and powerful a woman as Ana Quincoces is, it’s hasn’t been easy watching her pain as she comes to terms with her marriage coming to an end – a real end. She and her husband, Robert, have been separated and even dating other people for a while, but it wasn’t until the episode a few weeks ago, when Ana moved out of the law office they had been sharing for years, that we were able to see just how painful it was for her to really come to terms with the end of the marriage, the business partnership, and all of the hopes and dreams they shared when they first began their life together. It was nice to see her vulnerable side – not because I was glad she was experiencing pain – but because it was refreshing to see that the divorce was a big deal to her, and that she was finally beginning to let go and really begin to move forward with her new life. See, fear keeps us holding onto the past – whether it’s holding on to an unhealthy relationship, because, as uncomfortable as is, it’s what familiar and what we’ve grown accustomed to; holding on to the memories of what used to be, because we are afraid to stake a step into the unknown future; or holding on to a person, because we’re afraid that either he will find the love of his life with another, or we’re afraid that we won’t. Fear keeps us stuck and doesn’t allow us to experience the joy and love that are our birthright! Only when we are willing to let go – really let go – of the past, can we create space in our lives to experience something new… Something that is completely free of the constraints of the past and launches us into a new life – and a new love – that has just been waiting for us to be ready to step into it!
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Don’t allow your fears to cheat you out of experiencing the love you desire and deserve!
Moving on and learning to love again is scary, and Adriana De Moura would probably use the word “terrifying”! It wasn’t until the episode where she threw a 50th Anniversary party for her fiancé, Fredric’s, parents, that we could hear her longing to have a loving, passionate relationship that last for a lifetime. Adriana was so vulnerable when she shared how afraid she is of really committing to Fredric and marrying him. Her fear is understandable. One of the scariest aspects of being in a relationship is that there are no guarantees. Loving requires taking an emotional risk. When we choose to open our hearts again – particularly after having been hurt by infidelity, or because the person we fell in-love with simply is not the one willing to step in and helps us make our dreams come true – it takes an incredible amount of courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable again. We tend to put on this “take-it-or-leave-it” air about how we feel about love and relationships, and we deny ourselves – and the man that we are with – the gift of giving 100% of ourselves to him and the relationship. We hold back, distance ourselves from our desires, and use the pain from the past to stop us from experiencing the love that is waiting for us here and now, in the present. We cheat ourselves from experiencing what love can be because of the fear that we will get hurt again. We need to be willing to take that step. Yes, we might experience heartache again… But you know what? We already know we can survive it, because we already have! So, all there is to do is take a courageous step, open our hearts, and open ourselves up to the possibility of experiencing a love that surpasses even our wildest dreams!
There are many more love lessons I’ve learned from watching this show, and I’ll share more on the next blog post.
For now, if you have comments or questions you’d like to share, please feel free to do so below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of imagerymajestic via FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 20, 2012 | Dating, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
Are You Willing to Risk it All to Have it ALL?
I had the most amazing breakthrough on the way to the Women’s Success Summit on Tuesday morning. I was rehearsing in my head what I was going to say to the ladies who attended the Mini-Mastermind I was conducting that is based on our upcoming Webinar Seminar for professional women and entrepreneurs: Having it ALL: Being “The Invincible Woman at Work and “The Irresistible Woman in Your Love Life!
I was thinking about some of the reasons why many beautiful, successful, passionate women either do not enjoy dating, have not attracted the man with whom they want to share their lives, or, if they are in relationships, feel like there is something “missing.”
Why is it that these amazing women feel more fulfilled in their careers than they do in their romantic relationships?
We go over a lot of reasons for this in the seminar, but one of the main reasons is the need to take a risk. Yes, we take risks in business: We risk our time and money. But the risk is different when it comes to relationships. In love, we have to be willing to take emotional risks. And, for some of us, risking a broken heart is scarier than making an investment of thousands of dollars in our businesses! It’s why many of us throw ourselves into our careers, say we don’t have time to date or be in a relationship, and feel that men are “intimidated” by our success.
This fear of taking an emotional risk is really about the fear of being vulnerable. And it’s why we spend a lot of time in the seminar focusing on distinguishing the fears and doubts that are stopping us from attracting the man who’s right for us and on identifying the skills that serve us really well in business, but can kill the intimacy in our relationships!
As I was thinking of the risks I’ve taken in my life, to give as examples, for some reason, getting laid off from my job last year popped into my head. I was confused! For over a year, I’ve been working on getting “complete” with having lost my job. I forgave, got to a place of gratitude, and am so happy to be doing what I feel I was born to do –empowering women to have the relationships of their dreams – full-time, instead of “on-the-side,” like I used to! And yet… there were still times when I’d feel sad or upset about it. So I kept asking myself: What did getting laid off (something I didn’t want) have anything to do with taking a risk?
And that’s when I felt like my world shifted and I saw what I hadn’t been able to see before!
What I finally saw was that, when HR called to let me know they were eliminating my position, they didn’t call to let me go! They actually offered me another position so that I would stay… making the same incredible salary… and they offered it to me three times over the course of a month!
And each time, I said, “No!”
Why? Because the position would require 80% travel… 80% of the time away from my husband and family… 80% of the time away from working with women, writing, speaking, and doing the things that I am passionate and excited about doing. 80% of the time hating what I was doing because I did not want to travel and be away from the people and the things that I love!
I said, “No!”
I took a HUGE risk! I risked a very comfortable salary and lifestyle because something was more important to me: My marriage, my family, and my freedom. I chose to risk the comfort of a job and the sense of security for the uncertainty of owning my own business. And, emotionally, I took a huge risk when I chose to trust that my husband was capable enough to handle stepping into the role of primary bread-winner, and to allow myself to be taken care of – something I’d been doing for myself since I was 17!
I chose to risk it all so that I could have it ALL!
When I got that – When I got that I chose to say “No!” – All of the discomfort, upset, and “victimization” I’d been carrying around over having been “let go” completely disappeared! I started laughing and crying at the same time (not the safest thing to do while driving, but I was overcome with joy!) In fact, I was so moved, I had to call my mentor, Luly B. (who empowers mom entrepreneurs to get over our guilt and our fears and step into our lives) and tell her that I finally got that I had taken a risk and chosen ME so that I could have it all in life, family and business!
The same is true when it comes to relationships. When we are willing to step outside of our comfort zones… When we put aside our limiting beliefs about ourselves, men, and relationships… And when we feel the fear and uncertainty of taking an emotional risk, and we do it anyway… We get to choose our lives and what our hearts truly desire! We get to experience the love, peace, joy, and wonder of loving and knowing that we are loved every day for the rest of our lives!
And that, ladies, is worth all the risk!
So my question is… Are you ready to take a risk in order to have it ALL in life and love? Leave your comments and questions below! We love hearing from you!
To learn more about the Webinar Seminar, just visit our Events page.
Photo credit: dixonphotography2011 via photopin.com cc
