This week my heart has been heavy. I’ve heard from three different women who have reached out to tell me that their marriages are ending. It’s heartbreaking for me to hear news like this. Marriage is such a sacred, precious union. When two people choose to join their lives because they love each other, they do it fully expecting the love that they feel for one another to grow stronger over the years. They do not get married hoping to hurt, disrespect, and kill the love they once felt for one another. I’m the first one to admit that having a wonderful marriage takes work. It’s a daily commitment to being my best self so that I can have the love, happiness, and peace in my marriage that envisioned when we first got married. It wasn’t always like this for us. We went through rough patches, just like every other couple. There were times when I wondered if we’d make it. I remember noticing that things were changing between us. I remember asking myself where the love, passion and fun we used to share had gone. We were arguing more often, rarely having fun together, and I carried my resentment like a badge of honor. We were not hugging, kissing, or sleeping together as often and there were many nights when I cried myself to sleep. Our marriage didn’t get to that point over night. There were signs along the way. Things had been getting bad for a while. And I silently prayed and hoped that things would change. One day I decided I couldn’t ignore what was happening any longer. I couldn’t just keep hoping and praying that things would get better. I knew I had to do something in order to transform who I was being so that I could help turn my marriage around. I began doing my inner work, sought out mentors and coaches who would help and hold me accountable, and began experiencing the inner shift that began having a very real effect on my marriage. It took some work and it didn’t happen overnight, but soon the constant arguing stopped. We were holding hands and smiling at each other again. We began laughing and kissing and making love again. My transformation helped transform my relationship and I began to see the man I’d fallen in love with in a whole new light! If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage (or you know someone who is), don’t ignore the signs. Don’t pretend you don’t see them, and certainly don’t think that things are just magically going to get better on their own. They won’t.
In today’s video I do something I rarely do because of how protective I am of the time I have with my family on the weekends. However, I’m really committed to making a difference, so I’m offering to talk with a few of you who are ready to begin turning your marriage around this weekend.
Now, here’s the deal.
There are thousands of women reading this email right now and I’m only opening a few spots, because I still want to spend time with my husband and kids. I also only have two spots available in my private coaching program. So, I’m asking that you reach out to me only if you are serious about investing in and doing the work you’ll need to do to turn your marriage around before it’s too late.
I’m not giving you the link to my calendar. If you want to speak with me this weekend, send me an email. It will be a first-come-first serve basis and I will let you know the times I have available, which will be mid-morning/early afternoon Eastern time.
I know in my heart that you don’t have to suffer and that by applying certain skills and practices you can transform your marriage. I’ve helped hundreds of women do this and I want to help you, too.
The signs are there and the time is now. If you’re ready to turn things around, hit reply and let’s talk!
I’ve been preparing and practicing my presentations for The Irresistible Woman Seminar today and I’ve been thinking of you non-stop! So I decided to cut a quick video for you and then right back to my work!
I can’t help that you keep coming to mind! Every time that I read a really powerful point or one of the heart-shifting exercises we are going to be doing this weekend, it makes me sad to think that may not be there!
I don’t know what has had you not sign up until now, but I do know one thing about you. The fact that you took the time to open the email and even read this far means that you know how committed Michelle and I are to providing you with the information that we know is going to make a difference in your love life and relationships!
How do I know that? Because you wouldn’t be a part of this community if you weren’t!
So, whatever has been stopping you from attending, I just want you to ask yourself if it really is something insurmountable, “unfixable,” or life-threatening.
If it’s not, then I’m going to ask you to do something I consistently invite my clients to do.
I invite you to be UN-reasonable!
That means I’m inviting you to stop letting your “reasons” stand in the way of having what you want!
Here’s the thing, when you really want something – a nice car or outfit, a vacation, or to reach a goal, you figure out a way to make it happen.
Family members might tell you not to do it.
Your friends may tell you you’re crazy to do it.
You may even question your own sanity.
But you do it. Because it matters to you.
If your love life matters to you, if you truly want to be in a relationship where you feel adored, and you know that you know that you are love, then I’m inviting you to put those reasons that are stopping you aside and join us for The Irresistible Woman Seminar.
It’s going to be at least a year until we have this event again.
Do you really want to keep putting your happiness, your dreams, and the love that you want on hold?
I hope not!
So, push past your excuses, be UN-reasonable and join us for a weekend that is going to have you put an end to the loneliness, frustration, and “suffering” you’ve been experiencing in love and relationships.
One of the biggest fears women I speak to have is that they are going to have to “settle” for less than they want or deserve.
The fear of having to settle for something or someone stems from a scarcity mindset that has you believe you can’t really have it all,that you want “too much,” and that “at least something is better than nothing.”
This fear of settling will impact the way you view and listen to people and situations, the way you approach dating and relationships, and the way you go about making your dreams come true.
Think about it.
If you’re feeling stuck in your love life, and there’s an underlying belief that you really can’thave the life, career, and the loving relationship that you want, how committedare you going to be to going after your dreams?
How willing will you be to push and break through the resignation, sadness and frustration that can show up when you’re not seeing the results that you want right away?
How is all of this fear and resignation showing up in your life today?
Are you in the relationship that you want?
If you are in a relationship, is it the happy, loving, and passionate you dreamed it would be?
Do you reallybelieve you can have the kind of relationship your heart desires?
If you’ve been living life inside of the fear that you’ll have to settle because you’re not going to get what you want anyway, it’s time to turn that thinking pattern around and start attracting into your life what youreally want!
What if youdidn’thave to settle? What if you really could haveeverythingyour heart desires?
Well, last week, our friend, Melissa Binkley and I hosted a teleclass where I shared how you can do just that!
If you didn’t join us on the call, I’m going to invite you to listen to the teleclass today and begin to shift that scarcity-based fear into an empowering and abundant-based reality!
And to prove how committed we are to you living from a space of abundance, we shared an incredible (CRAZY) offer with you that is only being made available to the women in our communities!
That’show committed we are to you having the success, health, happiness, and LOVE your heart desires!
So, listen to the teleclass, because the offer is about to expire (you’ll hear why on the call)!
De-Mythifying Common Myths About Why Successful Women Can’t Succeed in Love
I don’t usually like to rant or curse, but I absolutely have to call BS on this!
I am so tired of reading articles and hearing people talk about how successful, intelligent, strong women can’t find or keep love. Honestly, it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me!
Aside from the fact that it is a complete insult to women who are successful, strong, accomplished and in happy loving relationships, I don’t know if people realize just how damaging continuing to repeat that type of nonsense to yourself—and others— is!
Repeating limiting phrases like, “Men are intimidated by powerful women,”“Smart women have a hard time finding a man who won’t be threatened by them,” and “Successful women are better off being alone than being with a man who is’ beneath’ them,” perpetuates the very thing that successful women don’t want, which is to find themselves frustrated, lonely, and with no one with whom to share their success.
The truth is that there are men out there who are looking for, excited by, and attracted to women who are confident and successful! In fact, studies show that the thing men are most attracted to in a woman (besides her smile) is her confidence.
Now, are there men out there who might feel a little insecure about dating a woman is more successful than them?
Yes.
However, it’s also true that there are many men out there who would rather be with a woman who is ambitious, passionate, secure in herself and her abilities, and who also allows him the opportunity to contribute, love, and add to her happiness.
In the next few articles, I’ll be sharing five common misconceptions about successful women when it comes to love relationships, and what you can do to turn your limiting beliefs into powerful affirmations that will have you attract the type of love that you want into your life and continue to strengthen the love you already have in your relationship.
Myth #1: Men are intimidated by powerful women.
Truth: Men are intimidated by intimidating women.
As I mentioned before, confidence is very appealing to men. Few things are more attractive or alluring than a woman who is loves and accepts herself and acknowledges her value! When a confident woman steps into the room, there is a sense of self-assurance and fulfillment that draws people to her – not away from her.
What is intimidating, on the other hand, is arrogance. There is a very fine line between feeling confident about yourself and believing that who you are and the things you have achieved somehow make you better than someone else. This is repelling to both men and women alike.
Of course it’s fine to talk about the things you are proud of and the goals you have for the future. However, when sharing your accomplishments and accolades, be wary of coming across as arrogant and condescending.
Now, before you get upset about what I just said, hear me out.
There’s nothing wrong with letting a man know what your successes are, what you’ve accomplished, and what you’re up to in life, because ultimately, what you want is to share those successes with him.
What you don’t want to do, whether it’s on a date or with your romantic partner, is to have your message come across as “I’ve got this all handled by myself and don’t need or want anyone or anything else – including you – to add to the success and happiness in my life.”
The bottom line is that men want to feel needed. They want to know that even if you’ve got an amazing life, there’s something they can add to it to make it even better.
This doesn’t make men “needy” or “insecure,” any more than wanting to be loved and desired make us women “needy” or “insecure.” Men and women are simply wired differently, and part of making a relationship work means understanding and accepting those differences and doing what we can to give one another what each wants and needs.
So, the next time you’re sharing with a man your goals, accomplishments, and the things you love about yourself, remember to share in such a way that you are also extending an invitation to share those successes with him, should he be interested in being part of your extraordinary life!
Even better… If you’re a successful, professional woman who wants to experience success in both your love life and your career, grab your ticket forThe Irresistible Woman LIVE Event while you can still get them for the Early Bird price!
In the next article, I’ll be de-mythifying Myth #2: Successful women have to settle for someone less successful than them.
Monday was my first day back after a week off for vacation, and I’m excited!
It wasn’t always this way for me. I used to dread having to go back to work after being on vacation. I would think of reasons/excuses to give my boss for not having to go in that first day. I’d dread looking at my inbox and having to deal with everything that didn’t get done while I was away.
That was then…
Now, however, I absolutely love what I do and I love the women I work with, and, since it doesn’t seem like “work,” I have to be really aware of how I manage my time when I’m on vacation so that I can really take time off to relax, replenish, and renew my mind, body, and spirit before heading back to the office.
One of the concerns I get from professional women is that they fear their partner won’t understand and feel comfortable with their drive and determination when it comes to their careers. They worry that their partners will somehow feel “threatened” or intimidated by their success.
That’s why one of the ways I create harmony between my work and personal life is by making agreements – both with myself and my husband.
See, my husband knows how much my clients mean to me. He knows that, if they are in the middle of a crisis in their relationships, it wouldn’t sit right with me to just ignore them because I’m on vacation. He also knows that I’m in the middle of planning two huge projects, and, if something came up around them, I’d need to at least be aware of it in order to delegate the issue to someone else.
What my husband also knows beyond a shadow of a doubt is that he and the boysmean more to me than anything else, and that I consider the time I spend with them precious.
So, before going on vacation, we agreed on what our days would look like and what I would do to manage anything that might come up regarding work. This way, rather than being on the phone checking email all day long, I had had certain times designated when I would check in, look to see what I needed to respond to, and the rest of the time was 100% family fun time!
By creating and honoring an agreement about what I would do/not do while on vacation, I took 100% responsibility for my happiness and for the work that would/would not get done that week. I also sent the message to my husband and kids that they are my priority and that, after those few minutes when I did work during the day, they had my undivided attention.
Because of this agreement, I didn’t have to feel “guilty” about answering or not answering an email. I kept to my schedule and did everything I could to be present with and enjoy the time I spent with my in-loves (my term for “in-laws).
The even better part was that, because my intention was to be fully present with my family and I was willing to work a little harder and longer the 2 weeks prior to vacation, I actually had very little I had to attend to work-wise during the week! (It’s just like it says in one of the books I finished reading while on vacation, The Alchemist: “…when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”!)
In this case, the universe, my family, my team, and I conspired to make sure that I had a fun a restful vacation! But it didn’t “just happen.” Like everything else in life that it is important, it took setting a clear intention and planning!
A relationship is a partnership.
Creating agreements with your partner is one of the essential keys to making that partnership work. When making agreements, keep these things in mind:
Only promise what you fully intend to fulfill. It’s important that you determine what you are willing to do and that you fully intend to honor the agreement.
Keep the agreement. Even more important than making an agreement is keeping the agreement. In honoring the agreement, you send the message to your partner that he can trust you to honor your word (in this case, as well as in the rest of the relationship).
The truth is that the majority of the problems in relationships can be traced back to one or both of the partners not having kept a promise or agreement that was made.
Does this mean you’ll never break a promise or that you’ll keep every single agreement you ever make?
No.
The goal, of course, is to strive for that. But, if you fail to keep an agreement, follow these steps.
Acknowledge that the agreement wasn’t kept. Don’t ignore the broken agreement or pretend as if nothing happened. Honor yourself and your partner by acknowledging how the agreement was broken.
Apologize for whatever you did on your end to break the agreement.
Make a new agreement (keeping in mind that you fully intend to honor it this time).
Do everything in your power to honor the agreement.
Your relationship is the most important partnership you’ll ever have.
While this doesn’t mean you won’t have other partnerships or projects that are important to you, it does mean that striving to make that partnership work needs to be a daily priority. Making and keeping agreements is one way to make sure your partnership works!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
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