by Gladys Diaz
Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.
~ David Augsburger
When people think about “good communication,” they usually think about how effectively they can say or deliver their message. As we saw in a blog posted earlier this week, when we discussed the power of your words, it is important to say what you want to say with love and respect. Listening, however, can be an even more important aspect of communication. The way we listen can actually communicate love more loudly than anything we can say.
If we listen with the intention of figuring out what we are going to say in response to what the other person is saying, we are not being present in the conversation. If we are listening through a preconceived “filter” of how we already see and hear the person who is speaking – filled with judgment, lack of belief, etc. – then we may miss what the person is trying to tell us. And, if we allow ourselves to get “triggered” during the conversation, we can totally miss the “heart message” behind the words being spoken.
Contrarily, if we choose to listen – to truly hear the person, the message, and the possibilities behind what is being shared – even if it’s uncomfortable to hear… even if there’s something we’d like to say about it… even if we’re not sure where the conversation will lead… If we can commit to just listening, we give the person speaking the gift of feeling like he/she is being heard, “gotten,” and loved. And, in this act of listening, we give ourselves a gift, too, because, as we listen, we may discover something new about the person and ourselves, we may finally hear the message we’ve been waiting and hoping to hear, and may just experience the love, intimacy, and connection our hearts desire.
To whom will you give the gift of listening today?
Photo credit: Collin Key via photopin.com cc
Thank you for another heartfelt and insightful blog, Gladys. I am a true believer in listening being a healing art. Being truly heard and not disputed or judged or corrected is so powerful and soothing. Usually not until we are truly heard can we release our resistance and allow contribution or hear others’ thoughts in return.
Absolutely, Brandi! That’s why it’s a double-sided gift! Both people win! 🙂
Thank you for another heartfelt and insightful blog, Gladys. I am a true believer in listening being a healing art. Being truly heard and not disputed or judged or corrected is so powerful and soothing. Usually not until we are truly heard can we release our resistance and allow contribution or hear others’ thoughts in return.
Absolutely, Brandi! That’s why it’s a double-sided gift! Both people win! 🙂
Listen and love one’s own self and if you can overcome those preconceived sabatours then loving and listening to others will be second nature.
Ooooh, bohemianbabuska!!! That sounds like a Tweet-able quote! 🙂 May I?
Listen and love one’s own self and if you can overcome those preconceived sabatours then loving and listening to others will be second nature.
Ooooh, bohemianbabuska!!! That sounds like a Tweet-able quote! 🙂 May I?
Enjoyed the post. I always say we were given two ears and only one mouth for a reason!
That’s right, Diane! 🙂
Enjoyed the post. I always say we were given two ears and only one mouth for a reason!
That’s right, Diane! 🙂
Great message thanks Gladys. My dad always said the way to a happy marriage is through true listening.
Very wise words! 🙂