by heartsdesireintl | Nov 20, 2012 | Dating, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
Are You Willing to Risk it All to Have it ALL?
I had the most amazing breakthrough on the way to the Women’s Success Summit on Tuesday morning. I was rehearsing in my head what I was going to say to the ladies who attended the Mini-Mastermind I was conducting that is based on our upcoming Webinar Seminar for professional women and entrepreneurs: Having it ALL: Being “The Invincible Woman at Work and “The Irresistible Woman in Your Love Life!
I was thinking about some of the reasons why many beautiful, successful, passionate women either do not enjoy dating, have not attracted the man with whom they want to share their lives, or, if they are in relationships, feel like there is something “missing.”
Why is it that these amazing women feel more fulfilled in their careers than they do in their romantic relationships?
We go over a lot of reasons for this in the seminar, but one of the main reasons is the need to take a risk. Yes, we take risks in business: We risk our time and money. But the risk is different when it comes to relationships. In love, we have to be willing to take emotional risks. And, for some of us, risking a broken heart is scarier than making an investment of thousands of dollars in our businesses! It’s why many of us throw ourselves into our careers, say we don’t have time to date or be in a relationship, and feel that men are “intimidated” by our success.
This fear of taking an emotional risk is really about the fear of being vulnerable. And it’s why we spend a lot of time in the seminar focusing on distinguishing the fears and doubts that are stopping us from attracting the man who’s right for us and on identifying the skills that serve us really well in business, but can kill the intimacy in our relationships!
As I was thinking of the risks I’ve taken in my life, to give as examples, for some reason, getting laid off from my job last year popped into my head. I was confused! For over a year, I’ve been working on getting “complete” with having lost my job. I forgave, got to a place of gratitude, and am so happy to be doing what I feel I was born to do –empowering women to have the relationships of their dreams – full-time, instead of “on-the-side,” like I used to! And yet… there were still times when I’d feel sad or upset about it. So I kept asking myself: What did getting laid off (something I didn’t want) have anything to do with taking a risk?
And that’s when I felt like my world shifted and I saw what I hadn’t been able to see before!
What I finally saw was that, when HR called to let me know they were eliminating my position, they didn’t call to let me go! They actually offered me another position so that I would stay… making the same incredible salary… and they offered it to me three times over the course of a month!
And each time, I said, “No!”
Why? Because the position would require 80% travel… 80% of the time away from my husband and family… 80% of the time away from working with women, writing, speaking, and doing the things that I am passionate and excited about doing. 80% of the time hating what I was doing because I did not want to travel and be away from the people and the things that I love!
I said, “No!”
I took a HUGE risk! I risked a very comfortable salary and lifestyle because something was more important to me: My marriage, my family, and my freedom. I chose to risk the comfort of a job and the sense of security for the uncertainty of owning my own business. And, emotionally, I took a huge risk when I chose to trust that my husband was capable enough to handle stepping into the role of primary bread-winner, and to allow myself to be taken care of – something I’d been doing for myself since I was 17!
I chose to risk it all so that I could have it ALL!
When I got that – When I got that I chose to say “No!” – All of the discomfort, upset, and “victimization” I’d been carrying around over having been “let go” completely disappeared! I started laughing and crying at the same time (not the safest thing to do while driving, but I was overcome with joy!) In fact, I was so moved, I had to call my mentor, Luly B. (who empowers mom entrepreneurs to get over our guilt and our fears and step into our lives) and tell her that I finally got that I had taken a risk and chosen ME so that I could have it all in life, family and business!
The same is true when it comes to relationships. When we are willing to step outside of our comfort zones… When we put aside our limiting beliefs about ourselves, men, and relationships… And when we feel the fear and uncertainty of taking an emotional risk, and we do it anyway… We get to choose our lives and what our hearts truly desire! We get to experience the love, peace, joy, and wonder of loving and knowing that we are loved every day for the rest of our lives!
And that, ladies, is worth all the risk!
So my question is… Are you ready to take a risk in order to have it ALL in life and love? Leave your comments and questions below! We love hearing from you!
To learn more about the Webinar Seminar, just visit our Events page.
Photo credit: dixonphotography2011 via photopin.com cc
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 9, 2012 | Dating, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
If someone was to ask me what I feel the saddest thing in the world is, my immediate answer would be: Hopelessness. To me, living a life without hope, a life where you’ve resigned yourself to living in unhappiness, a lack of fulfillment, and cynicism is one of the saddest states in which to exist. Even in our darkest moments, when things seem like there is no immediate solution, and where we are left wondering whether we will ever see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, there is always hope.
I often work with women who feel like their relationships or marriages are over. The love, the excitement, and the passion that was once present in their relationships is gone, the arguments are constant, or, even worse, there is that uncomfortable deafening silence that fills their home. It’s heartbreaking to hear someone share how she really thought “this was it” – she had found “the one” – and, now, all she can see is bitterness, indifference, and heartache. And they believe that there are only two options:
(1) Stay in a lifeless, loveless relationship.
(2) Get a divorce or break up.
As a relationship coach, it’s not always easy to sit and listen to the woman without my heart breaking a little bit. But what I love about what I do is giving women a third, more empowering and transformational option! I love working with a woman, helping her to see the role she’s played in things getting to where the relationship is, and what she can begin doing immediately to begin to turn things around. And, as she begins putting the skills into practice, and she begins to see how the changes she is making in herself are making a huge difference in her relationship and the rest of her life, I get to witness how that overwhelming sadness and hopelessness is replaced by a spark of hope! And as we continue working together, that spark gets stronger, the relationship begins to transform, and that hope turns into faith that things can and will get better – that, in fact, they already are better!
Great relationships don’t ever “just happen.” The same holds true for relationships in crisis. Rarely do things suddenly “just fall apart.”
Wherever you are in your relationship – whether you’re in the place where you’re beginning to lose hope, or, maybe you are pretty happy in your relationship, but you want to learn the skills and habits that will help you not only “maintain,” but really elevate the level of intimacy, passion, and romance in your relationship, there is always some work to do. And the work begins with and within you.
This is why I want to invite you to join me on a very special call this coming Monday, November 12, at 9:00 p.m. Eastern. On this call, I’ll be partnering with NY Times best-selling author and relationship expert, Laura Doyle, to teach you some real-life, practical, and mind-blowing relationship skills that you can begin using immediately to take your relationship to a completely new level!
Mind-blowing Relationship Tools that Work Immediately!
You’ll learn:
- The indispensable first step to achieving a passionate relationship.
- What makes you totally irresistible to your man (and it’s not about the way you look!).
- 3 phrases that guarantee intimacy to get the connection you crave.
- Why he’ll want to do more for you when you start doing less for him.
The call is open to all women, whether you are single, dating, or married, but there is a limited number of spots, so I encourage you to register now. Just click on the link below and register to hold your spot! Over 200 women have registered so far, so don’t wait! Oh! And feel free to share the information with the women in your life who want to inject some love, life, and passion into their relationships and their lives!
Mind-blowing Relationship Tools that Work Immediately!
Listen, you can have the relationship you dream of. It’s your birthright to be happy and experience the joy of loving and being loved! And, besides all of that, I’d love to connect with you! Go ahead, click and register NOW!
Have any questions or comments about the call or your relationship in general, go ahead and leave them below! We love hearing from you!
Photo credit: seyed mostafa zamani via photopin.com cc
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 7, 2012 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
You know the saying: Once a teacher, always a teacher!
Over 20 years ago, I started my career as an educator. All of my life, I have loved the process of learning, growing, and teaching! Call me a “geek,” but I love coming across new information – particularly when it comes to inspirational and transformational information! If there is something that will help me in my personal and spiritual growth and development, I’m all over it!
This is one of the reasons I’m so passionate about what I do. In my heart, I will always be a a teacher – whether I have a group of students, teachers and administrators in front of me, or a group of amazing women who are interested in learning the skills and habits that lead to life-long romance – I was born to teach! And there is nothing I love more than working with women who are committed to having extraordinary, passionate, loving relationships and teaching them the skills and habits that lead them creating that in their lives!
That’s why I am thrilled to be co-hosting two calls next week with NY Times best-selling author of The Surrendered Single and The Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle. Heart’s Desire and Laura have worked closely over the past few years to empower women in all stages of relationships with the skills and habits that lead to attracting, creating, and nurturing a passionate, intimate, loving relationship that lasts for a lifetime!
Real-Life Skills for Real-Love Breakthroughs!
These calls will be chalk-full of real-life, practical information that you can start implementing right away and begin attracting and living in the relationship your heart truly desires. And, to make sure you get the information you want, we’re offering separate calls for women who are single and those who are married or in relationships. All of the details, as well as the link you can use to register right away is included below.
I know you want the type of relationship where you feel loved, cherished, and adored every single day… The type of relationship where you know that you are becoming the best version of yourself and sharing your life with a man who is absolutely right for you… The type of relationship you were born to share in! And I know that these calls will help you create and experience that every day for the rest of your life!
So, go ahead! Click on the call that’s right for you, and join us next week! And, yes! Feel free to share the links with the women in your life who are also committed to experiencing the life and love their hearts desire!
Call for Single Ladies Who are READY to Attract & Marry the Man Who is Right for You!:
You’ll learn:
- What to do on a first date to set the tone for the rest of your relationship
- What makes you the most irresistible to men (hint: it’s not about appearances)
- What to do when a guy you’re interested in doesn’t call you
- The one most important thing to do to attract the right guy
Date: Thursday, November 15, 2012
Time: 9:00 PM Eastern
(that’s 8 PM Central, 7 PM Mountain, 6 PM Pacific)
Register: How to Attract and Marry the Man Who’s Right for You
Call for Ladies Who are READY to Learn Mind-Blowing Relationship Tools that Work Immediately!:
You’ll learn:
- The indispensable first step to achieving a passionate relationship
- What makes you totally irresistible to your man (and it’s not about the way you look!)
- 3 phrases that guarantee intimacy to get the connection you crave
- Why he’ll want to do more for you when you start doing less for him
Date: Monday, November 12th 2012
Time: 9:00 PM Eastern
(that’s 8 PM Central, 7 PM Mountain, 6 PM Pacific)
Register: Mind-blowing Relationship Tools That Work Immediately
Teaching and working with women, and empowering them to live the love they deserve and desire is my passion! I look forward to connecting with you on the call and being part of your Love Journey!
Have questions or comments? Leave them below! We love hearing from you!
Photo credit: rearechelon via photopin.com cc
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 6, 2012 | Dating, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
I can’t believe the 30-Day Blogging Challenge is complete! To be honest, when I began, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to come up with stuff to write about for 30 days straight, but, as is always the case, when we step outside of our comfort zones, stretch beyond where we think we can, and are willing to grow just a little more, we discover just how capable we truly are!
So, what are some of the lessons I’ve learned in this process, and how does it relate to relationships?
- There is a desire, a thirst for information and inspiration regarding relationships: I learned that there is a desire and a hunger to learn how to make relationships better. All of us want to experience love, peace, and passion in our lives and our relationships, but we’re not always sure of how to go about getting it. Many times, we do not see how our fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs are actually blocking us from having the things we most desire. We’re not aware of how we self-sabotage our own happiness. I am grateful for the work that we do and for the women (and men) who are ready to learn and grow and transform their lives so that they can have the relationships their hearts desire!
- I am an instrument of love, peace, healing, and transformation. I love to connect with, inspire, and make a real difference in the lives of others. I’ve always loved writing and speaking, and I can see how I can use them to reach hundreds… thousands of people to make a real impact in this world. The resounding message in our blog is that we need to be the love we want to see in our lives, relationships, and the world. By reaching out, connecting, and sharing tips, ideas, information, and inspiring messages, I can be part of bringing about the peace and love I want to experience in this world, in every moment of my life!
- We are all part of something bigger than ourselves. I joined the Social Media Club of South Florida Facebook group the day they began talking about the challenge. I wasn’t sure if I fit in a group with others who I saw as more knowledgeable, experienced, and well-versed in social media than I am. I found myself pleasantly surprised, and loved each time I saw someone in the group retweet or comment on the blog. And I loved returning the favor, too! I get the same experience with the other members of the Heartcore Woman’s Inner Circle, where we provide one another with tons of TLC (Tweeting, Liking, and Commenting) on one another’s blogs. During this process, there was a core group of ladies who commented on almost every single post, and I am so grateful for being able to connect with them on a more personal level, beyond learning about how to move our businesses forward! And this is what being “in relationship” is all about: The loving, selfless giving and receiving of love and encouragement!
- I love connecting with you! Perhaps the most rewarding part of all of this blogging was hearing how a post helped you discover something about yourself, your partner, or relationships in general. Hearing your a-ha moments, affirmations, the ways you practice self-care, and the importance of intimacy in our lives was fun and inspiring for me! So, thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share with all of us!
There are so many more lessons I walk away with. I am inspired to continue blogging – probably not every day, but at least 2-3 times per week. I hope that the 30 daily “Heart’s Desire Thought for the Day” helped provide you with the information and inspiration you seek regarding love, dating, relationships, intimacy, forgiveness, parenting, and more! They are there, on our blog, archived and ready to be accessed and shared whenever your heart desires!
Thank you for letting me share my blogging-challenge journey. Thank you for being part of it. Thank you for being YOU!
So, now it’s your turn… What topics, questions, or ideas would you like to see covered in our blog? In other words, how may we continue to serve you?
Photo credit: jurvetson via photopin.comhttp://www.photopin.com/ cc
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 5, 2012 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
Surrender to this moment, accept things and people as they are, and your heart will begin to open.
~ Jonathan Mead
One of the main principles that we cover in our workshops and coaching is that of “surrender.” Now, when people hear the word “surrender,” they tend to think of things like “defeat,” “giving up,” or “getting stepped on.” However, surrender is more of a spiritual term, and it does not involve losing, getting beaten down, or not having a voice. Instead, surrender is about acceptance – Accepting people, things, and situations exactly the way they are and exactly the way they are not. It means that rather than resisting and resenting the way a person or situation is – then trying to “fix,” change, and make them “better” – we allow it to be the way it is now, knowing that it’s perfect the way that it is.
Now, I usually get a lot of arguments and questions from people right about this point in the conversation that sounds something like, “So, you mean, we should be happy that there are kids starving all over the world or in our own backyard,” or “So this means that I’m ‘stuck’ being in an unhappy relationship,” or “So, I’m supposed to pretend that I don’t want to be in a relationship and get married?”
If those questions (or some like it) were screaming out in your head, don’t worry! Relax. This is not what it means! Surrendering does not mean agreeing with, suffering through, or pretending that we’re happy about something we’re not. It just means acknowledging: This is the way it is right now. I may want it to be a different way, but, right now, this is how it is.
This acknowledgement creates acceptance. And, in the space of acceptance, there is now room for freedom (to choose or not choose to do something differently), for peace (of mind and spirit), and for love (free from judgment – unconditional love)!
So, how does this look in a relationship? Perhaps my husband is overweight, and I think he “should” eat more healthy foods and exercise. I can take two approaches to this situation. I can drop hints for my husband, make comments about how much weight he’s gained, give him “helpful suggestions” about what he “should” eat and do – basically, I can nag him about it and totally pour water all over the embers of intimacy… Or I can surrender my need to control him and just allow him to be who he is, make the choices for himself that he sees fit, and stand by him, no matter what. And, then, if he chooses to make changes, I can be his biggest cheerleader, completely trusting in his ability to do what’s right for him. This leads to him feeling respected, supported, and free to make his own decisions.
If I’m dating, and a guy I’m seeing works really long hours. I can hint that he needs to make more time for me, be upset with him for doing what he feels he needs to do for his career, or decide that a guy who spends too much time working is not the guy for me – Never mind that when he is with me he treats me like a princess, makes sure I’m having a great time, and that he’s determined to make his life (and, perhaps even our future!) better. I’m just going to walk away from what could possibly be the relationship I’ve always wanted… Or I can surrender, stop trying to control him, the relationship, and the situation, and make the time that we are together count!
Acceptance does not require “agreement” or having to “settle” or “be stuck” with the way things are in the present. It simply means that we acknowledge and accept that “It is the way it is right now.” Whether we are referring to our lives, careers, relationship or relationship status: It is the way it is right now. And if we can accept it, rather than resist it, refuse it, or try to fix it or force it to change… If we can just let go and bring acceptance, grace, and gratitude, in the space that is created, peace is felt, love is possible, we feel empowered to make the changes necessary within ourselves, and we begin to experience freedom… peace… bliss!
Have you been trying to control someone or something in your life, only to feel “powerless,” resentful, and unfulfilled? If so, take on the practice of surrendering and accepting people things the way they are so that you can open a space for them to become what they can be!
Photo credit: Sabbir Siraj via photopin.com cc
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 4, 2012 | Dating, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
When we transition from “just us” to being a family, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the joys and responsibilities of parenthood. There is so much to do, so many new roles and responsibilities, and, quite frankly, you learn to be “exhausted” on a whole new level. Add to that everything you were already doing before the children were born, and it’s easy to forget to make your relationship a priority.
I know that after I had my first child, I was in a completely new space. For the first time in my life I questioned how “competent” I was for a job! I felt so vulnerable, so insecure, and so tired, and I admit that I put my son before everything else. It caused friction in our marriage for the first couple of years, and, it wasn’t until I started practicing the skills and principles that I now teach that I realized that it wasn’t that my husband had changed or that he didn’t want to “pitch in,” or that the “myth” out there that the relationship has to change once you have children does not have to be true. I had changed. And I’d forgot that the one who I promised to love, cherish, and honor for the rest of my life was my husband. I forgot to be a lover as well as a wife.
Now, will your relationship go through changes once children enter the picture? Of course it will! Growing and changing are natural part of life. But that doesn’t mean that the romantic part of your relations can’t grow, change, and become deeper than ever! Continuing to see and treat each other as lovers, while honoring one another as parents makes us better at both roles. And I believe that there is perhaps no better gift to give our children than an example of what love, intimacy, and partnership looks like when they can see in us the love we have for one another and the love we share with them.
So, what are some easy steps to make sure that we are loving and supporting one another as lovers and appreciating one another as parents:
- Make time for “alone time.” Even if it means an hour or two after the kids are gone to bed, spend time talking, snuggling and being “a couple.” Oh, and make time for date nights. If you can’t afford a sitter, then plan a special dinner, have a glass of wine on the porch, or watch an adult cartoon-free movie together. Just make sure to plan the time and honor it!
- Keep the romance alive. And this doesn’t only mean the sexual part of the relationship, although, of course, that’s an important (and one of the most fun parts) of the relationship. Do “the little things” you used to do to show him that you love him. Leave little love notes, walk by and give him a kiss, give him a back rub, and let him know how lucky you feel to be loved by him. While we don’t need to be making out in front of our kids, a few stolen kisses, grabs, and flirting go a long way to keep that spark lit!
- Make time for yourself. It’s important to replenish and refuel your mind, body, and spirit. Take time to relax, take a bubble bath, spend time with friends, or just take a nap. You can’t draw water from an empty well, and making sure your emotional tank is full will also help you make sure you have the patience and energy it takes to be the best wife and mother you can be!
Do you have ideas for continuing to keep the love alive as a couple, while still being there to love and support our children? Please share them! We’d love to hear (and maybe steal them)!
Photo credit: PhotgraTree via photopin.com cc
