by Gladys Diaz
Are you really happy?
I ask because, many times women say they are happy when really, underneath, there are other things going on. This is so often what’s blocking them from finding love!
Now, I’m not talking about pretending to be happy. And I’m not saying that you can never be sad. Experiencing happiness, as well as sadness, are both parts of being human. As are feeling disappointed, jealous, angry, joyful, and apathetic.
These are all human emotions.
What I am talking about is when these emotions become your “emotional landing place” or your natural state. When feeling sad, angry, disappointed or apathetic become the place you seem to come back to, even after brief moments of happiness or joy, that’s when they’ve become “toxic emotions.”
An emotion becomes toxic when you allow it to “settle in” and take home in your heart. When you have these toxic emotions that haven’t been worked through, they show up, and usually in ways you don’t like and that push love away.
Last weekend, at our incredible 2020 Love Vision Event, we coached several women who were dealing with unresolved toxic emotions . When they were triggered, some shut down, others got visibly angry, some allowed the toxic emotions to take over how they reacted and responded, and others were unable to feel anything.
And we coached them to feel, process, and release the toxic emotions.
See, when a toxic emotion comes up, it’s usually triggered by a memory or thought of something upsetting. The thing to remember is that it’s not the current situation that is “causing” the emotions to come up. Those emotions are already there, under the surface, , so you must feel them so that you can then do the work of releasing them.
So how do you release toxic emotions?
1. Feel it.
As I said, in order to begin the process of releasing toxic emotions, you must feel them. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, punch your pillow. Allow the emotion to be present for a moment, so you can feel it. The problem comes when you bury it.
2. Process it.
Ask yourself… “What’s causing this? What are the triggers? How is it showing up in other areas of my life? life? What impact is it having?
Is it causing you to lash out?
Are you relating to yourself a victim because of it?
Is it causing you anxiety or depression or nervousness?
Is it making it difficult for you to connect with people?
Are people being able to notice the energy of the emotion that’s constantly around you?
Another place to look to how toxic emotions may be impacting you is in your body. As Louise Hayes taught in her book You Can Heal Your Body, our emotions have a way of showing up in our bodies.
Have you suddenly gained or lost weight? Are you having unexplained aches and pains anywhere in your body? Are you having a hard time sleeping? What is your body telling you?
Also, look around you. Your life and your space are a reflection of what’s really going on inside you. Is your house a mess? Are you having a hard time keeping your desk organized? Do things seem to keep breaking around you?
If you’re feeling like something’s off, do a personal inventory and ask yourself: Where, energetically, am I in breakdown? “What in my life is out of integrity?
These questions will help you take a self-inventory to see what’s actually going on beneath the surface.
3. Release it.
Once you’ve done the work to uncover and discover what is causing the toxic emotion and how it’s impacting you, you can then choose to let it go. You can release the emotion by seeing that you no longer need to experience this emotion. Whatever triggered the emotion is usually no longer happening, and you can choose to release it, rather than holding onto it and allowing it to consume you.
Happiness and lightness are what are attractive to others and what makes your body and soul feel good! We have emotions for a reason, and experiencing them is a human condition.
The key is not being scared of them, wrapping yourself up in them, or indulging in them for too long. Instead, allow yourself to feel them appropriately, process them, and release them so they don’t get stuck, become toxic, and stop you from having and experiencing the happiness and love your heart desires.
If you’re dealing with toxic emotions and having trouble working through and releasing them, let us help you do the HeartWork to work and break through them. You don’t have to let the toxic emotions rob you of the life and love you want. And you don’t have to do this alone. Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!