by heartsdesireintl | Apr 11, 2015 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
De-Mythifying Common Myths About Why Successful Women Can’t Succeed in Love
I don’t usually like to rant or curse, but I absolutely have to call BS on this!
I am so tired of reading articles and hearing people talk about how successful, intelligent, strong women can’t find or keep love. Honestly, it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me!
Aside from the fact that it is a complete insult to women who are successful, strong, accomplished and in happy loving relationships, I don’t know if people realize just how damaging continuing to repeat that type of nonsense to yourself—and others— is!
Repeating limiting phrases like, “Men are intimidated by powerful women,” “Smart women have a hard time finding a man who won’t be threatened by them,” and “Successful women are better off being alone than being with a man who is’ beneath’ them,” perpetuates the very thing that successful women don’t want, which is to find themselves frustrated, lonely, and with no one with whom to share their success.
The truth is that there are men out there who are looking for, excited by, and attracted to women who are confident and successful! In fact, studies show that the thing men are most attracted to in a woman (besides her smile) is her confidence.
Now, are there men out there who might feel a little insecure about dating a woman is more successful than them?
Yes.
However, it’s also true that there are many men out there who would rather be with a woman who is ambitious, passionate, secure in herself and her abilities, and who also allows him the opportunity to contribute, love, and add to her happiness.
In the next few articles, I’ll be sharing five common misconceptions about successful women when it comes to love relationships, and what you can do to turn your limiting beliefs into powerful affirmations that will have you attract the type of love that you want into your life and continue to strengthen the love you already have in your relationship.
Myth #1: Men are intimidated by powerful women.
Truth: Men are intimidated by intimidating women.
As I mentioned before, confidence is very appealing to men. Few things are more attractive or alluring than a woman who is loves and accepts herself and acknowledges her value! When a confident woman steps into the room, there is a sense of self-assurance and fulfillment that draws people to her – not away from her.
What is intimidating, on the other hand, is arrogance. There is a very fine line between feeling confident about yourself and believing that who you are and the things you have achieved somehow make you better than someone else. This is repelling to both men and women alike.
Of course it’s fine to talk about the things you are proud of and the goals you have for the future. However, when sharing your accomplishments and accolades, be wary of coming across as arrogant and condescending.
Now, before you get upset about what I just said, hear me out.
There’s nothing wrong with letting a man know what your successes are, what you’ve accomplished, and what you’re up to in life, because ultimately, what you want is to share those successes with him.
What you don’t want to do, whether it’s on a date or with your romantic partner, is to have your message come across as “I’ve got this all handled by myself and don’t need or want anyone or anything else – including you – to add to the success and happiness in my life.”
The bottom line is that men want to feel needed. They want to know that even if you’ve got an amazing life, there’s something they can add to it to make it even better.
This doesn’t make men “needy” or “insecure,” any more than wanting to be loved and desired make us women “needy” or “insecure.” Men and women are simply wired differently, and part of making a relationship work means understanding and accepting those differences and doing what we can to give one another what each wants and needs.
So, the next time you’re sharing with a man your goals, accomplishments, and the things you love about yourself, remember to share in such a way that you are also extending an invitation to share those successes with him, should he be interested in being part of your extraordinary life!
Even better… If you’re a successful, professional woman who wants to experience success in both your love life and your career, grab your ticket for The Irresistible Woman LIVE Event while you can still get them for the Early Bird price!
In the next article, I’ll be de-mythifying Myth #2: Successful women have to settle for someone less successful than them.
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 6, 2014 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Money Issues, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success
by Gladys Diaz
We’ve all been there.
After working on ourselves, trying hard to make changes, and not seeing the results we thought we’d have, we begin to wondering whether we should just stop trying so hard, throw in the towel, and give up on our dreams.
I’ve been there myself, and I know how painful and disillusioning it can be to think that what my heart desires just “wasn’t meant to be.”
When you have a big dream – the type of dream that moves and inspires you, that fills you up with joy at the very thought of it, and that you know in your heart it’s what you want more than anything else in the world – and it doesn’t seem to be happening, it can be heartbreaking.
In those heart-wrenching times, it’s easy to let your fears and doubts get in the way of your vision. It can feel like it’s easier to just let your dream go and walk away from it, rather than continue taking the steps that will lead you in the direction of making those dreams come true.
Maybe your dream is that you’ll meet the man who’s perfect for you, but you’re tired of dating men who aren’t interested in being in a relationship or with whom you just don’t feel a real connection. This scares you, and the little voice in your head keeps telling you that maybe you’re just not meant to be in a relationship.
Maybe your dream is about reigniting the love and passion you and your man once shared. But it’s been such a long time since you’ve felt that closeness, and you wonder whether the relationship was ever meant to be and if it’s even worth saving.
Maybe your dream is to go back to school, start a new career, or launch that business you’ve always wanted to have, but you’ve been too afraid to step away from what you’re already doing and from the salary you’re already making to branch off into something new. So you try to convince yourself that maybe you’re already doing what you were meant to do, even though in your heart of hearts, you know that simply isn’t true.
No matter what your dream is, if you’re thinking about giving it up, I’m here to tell you: DON’T!
There is a reason that dream was placed in your heart in the first place, and you owe it to yourself to do everything you can to make it come true!
There were times in the beginning of my marriage where I wondered whether I’d made a mistake and married the wrong man. I’d tell myself it would be easier to just be single again so that I could find someone else that I could make things work with. The truth is I was terrified to make the changes I knew could help our relationship because I was afraid he wouldn’t want to make it work, and then I’d feel rejected.
There have been times in my business where I’ve wondered if maybe it would just be easier to go get a job or do something else. While I knew in my heart that relationship coaching is what I was born to do, I was afraid to do the work it would take to reach out to new clients, that I’d something in a blog post or email that would upset someone, and that I might not be able to actually make a living doing what I love.
As scared as I was in both of these situations, the one thing I refused to do was give up. Why?
Because my faith in my dream was bigger than any fear that might show it’s ugly face!
A huge part of loving yourself is being true to yourself and honoring your heart’s desires. When you sell out on yourself and your dreams, you’ll never really experience the fulfillment you long for!
So, how do you push past the fear and keep believing in your dreams, even when things are not flowing, you’re not getting the results you want, or you have other people telling that maybe you should just give up?
You recommit.
You recommit to yourself and your dream.
You remind yourself that this is your dream, this is your life, and that it’s up to you to make that dream come true!
You find people in your life who believe in you and your dream and are willing to help you make it come true!
You remember that the dream in your heart was placed there by something greater than you and that this means that there IS a way to make it happen!
So, right now, take a moment and think about your dream.
Have you been taking the steps to push past your fear and make it happen?
Have you reached out to people who believe in you and who can help you in making that dream come true?
Have you made your faith in yourself and your dream bigger than your fears?
If you answered “No” to any of the above questions, I have another question for you:
Are you ready to recommit to your dream?
If you are, I first want to congratulation you and let you know that I’d love to be one of those people who will stand for and encourage you in helping it come true!
I also want to invite you to post it in the comments section of the blog and declare your re-commitment to your dream and one step you are going to take within the next 7 days to make it come true!
Something powerful happens when you are courageous enough to declare your dream publicly. It invites others to stand with and for you in helping them become a reality!
And, as always, I want to encourage you to let us know if there is any way we can help support you in taking the steps that lead you in the direction of your dreams!
Here’s to living a life of dreams come true!
Remember to post below your re-commitment and one step you’re going to take in the direction of your dreams!
