Yesterday was the first day of school for my kids, and I took the opportunity to pamper myself and get a deep-tissue Swedish massage, courtesy of my wonderful hubby!
As I was lying on the table, enjoying the soft meditation music, the candles, and looking forward to a nice, relaxing massage, all of a sudden, all I could feel was PAIN! And lots of it!
I actually found myself holding my breath a few times because of the pain I could feel under the masseuse’s expert hands!
At one point, I thought I would tell her to stop, and then I noticed something…
I began to notice how my muscles were responding to her touch.
I became aware of how, while I wasn’t stressed out or feeling pain when I first laid down on the table, there were parts of my body that were obviously story pain and stress, based on the “knots” she was finding and deeply massaging.
And, I noticed how she would dig really deep into a muscle, work there for a while, go somewhere else, and then come back to it and work on it some more.
That’s when I thought of you! (Yes, even while getting a massage, you are on my mind! Can’t help it!)
I started thinking about how, sometimes, we have some “deep-tissue” pain stored in our memories, our hearts, and our bodies that are related to the past.
Maybe it has to do with a relationship that ended painfully.
Maybe you’re in a relationship right now, where you’re feeling some pain.
Or perhaps you’re feeling stuck in your life and you keep wondering, “I’ve prayed, meditated, read all these books, watched videos, attended courses, and worked with different coaches! When am I finally going to break through this?”
I get it! I’ve been there myself! And, here’s the deal:
Sometimes, you just need to go back and dig a little deeper to truly release the pain so that you can move forward with joy, peace, and the love you desire and deserve!
It’s during those times of release that you are able to put the past back in the past where it belongs so that you can move toward the present and future that are waiting for you!
Well, I was so inspired by all of the thoughts and insights I had during that massage, that, when I finished, I went to Facebook and shot a live video (Well, two, actually, because I lost connection during the first one, but I just had to share this with you!)
I know it can be tempting to feel like the “deep-tissue” inner work you’ve done isn’t working, but… what if…?
What if you’re just inches away from your next breakthrough?
What if you can dig a little deeper and finally have the happiness and love you want?
What would that make possible for you?
Check out the video and let me know what opens up for you!
Don’t forget to comment below! We love hearing from you!
After working on ourselves, trying hard to make changes, and not seeing the results we thought we’d have, we begin to wondering whether we should just stop trying so hard, throw in the towel, and give up on our dreams.
I’ve been there myself, and I know how painful and disillusioning it can be to think that what my heart desires just “wasn’t meant to be.”
When you have a big dream – the type of dream that moves and inspires you, that fills you up with joy at the very thought of it, and that you know in your heart it’s what you want more than anything else in the world – and it doesn’t seem to be happening, it can be heartbreaking.
In those heart-wrenching times, it’s easy to let your fears and doubts get in the way of your vision. It can feel like it’s easier to just let your dream go and walk away from it, rather than continue taking the steps that will lead you in the direction of making those dreams come true.
Maybe your dream is that you’ll meet the man who’s perfect for you, but you’re tired of dating men who aren’t interested in being in a relationship or with whom you just don’t feel a real connection. This scares you, and the little voice in your head keeps telling you that maybe you’re just not meant to be in a relationship.
Maybe your dream is about reigniting the love and passion you and your man once shared. But it’s been such a long time since you’ve felt that closeness, and you wonder whether the relationship was ever meant to be and if it’s even worth saving.
Maybe your dream is to go back to school, start a new career, or launch that business you’ve always wanted to have, but you’ve been too afraid to step away from what you’re already doing and from the salary you’re already making to branch off into something new. So you try to convince yourself that maybe you’re already doing what you were meant to do, even though in your heart of hearts, you know that simply isn’t true.
No matter what your dream is, if you’re thinking about giving it up, I’m here to tell you: DON’T!
There is a reason that dream was placed in your heart in the first place, and you owe it to yourself to do everything you can to make it come true!
There were times in the beginning of my marriage where I wondered whether I’d made a mistake and married the wrong man. I’d tell myself it would be easier to just be single again so that I could find someone else that I could make things work with. The truth is I was terrified to make the changes I knew could help our relationship because I was afraid he wouldn’t want to make it work, and then I’d feel rejected.
There have been times in my business where I’ve wondered if maybe it would just be easier to go get a job or do something else. While I knew in my heart that relationship coaching is what I was born to do, I was afraid to do the work it would take to reach out to new clients, that I’d something in a blog post or email that would upset someone, and that I might not be able to actually make a living doing what I love.
As scared as I was in both of these situations, the one thing I refused to do was give up. Why?
Because my faith in my dream was bigger than any fear that might show it’s ugly face!
A huge part of loving yourself is being true to yourself and honoring your heart’s desires. When you sell out on yourself and your dreams, you’ll never really experience the fulfillment you long for!
So, how do you push past the fear and keep believing in your dreams, even when things are not flowing, you’re not getting the results you want, or you have other people telling that maybe you should just give up?
You recommit to yourself and your dream.
You remind yourself that this is your dream, this is your life, and that it’s up to you to make that dream come true!
You find people in your life who believe in you and your dream and are willing to help you make it come true!
You remember that the dream in your heart was placed there by something greater than you and that this means that there IS a way to make it happen!
So, right now, take a moment and think about your dream.
Have you been taking the steps to push past your fear and make it happen?
Have you reached out to people who believe in you and who can help you in making that dream come true?
Have you made your faith in yourself and your dream bigger than your fears?
If you answered “No” to any of the above questions, I have another question for you:
Are you ready to recommit to your dream?
If you are, I first want to congratulation you and let you know that I’d love to be one of those people who will stand for and encourage you in helping it come true!
I also want to invite you to post it in the comments section of the blog and declareyour re-commitment to your dreamand one step you are going to take within the next 7 days to make it come true!
Something powerful happens when you are courageous enough to declare your dream publicly. It invites others to stand with and for you in helping them become a reality!
And, as always, I want to encourage you to let us know if there is any way we can help support you in taking the steps that lead you in the direction of your dreams!
Here’s to living a life of dreams come true!
Remember to post below your re-commitment and one step you’re going to take in the direction of your dreams!
but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”
Over the past few weeks, we’ve been talking a lot about changing and breaking free from the past. Sometimes, we’re inspired by the idea of changing – of letting go of the old and creating something new, something unlike what we had before.
Other times, however, the thought of changing terrifies us. We wonder how we’ll do it, whether we’ll really be able to change, and where in the world to begin.
If this is how you feel about yourself and your life, know that it’s a pretty typical response. It’s a common reaction to be afraid of what you don’t know. It’s natural to want to know ahead of time how things are going to work out in the end. And it’s okay to admit that you don’t know where to begin.
Change can be uncomfortable.
Imagine how the caterpillar feels, day after day trapped inside of her cocoon, trying to move, transform, and break out of the shell that has been holding her captive for so long! I’m pretty sure the caterpillar doesn’t like being in there. It must be painful at times to allow her body to go through the changes it must go through to have her transform herself from the inside out – replacing parts of herself that no longer serve their purpose with new ones; letting go of the life she’s known as a caterpillar to become something new, something she’s never known herself to be.
When she finally emerges from her former shell, the butterfly is literally unrecognizable. There is no trace of the former caterpillar left!
Instead, what emerges is a beautiful, vibrant butterfly that is readyto spread her wings and fly! The butterfly has no idea what life has in store for her. She only knows that in this new form she is able to soar, be free, and discover a whole new world that was completely unavailable to her when she was merely a caterpillar.
We go through similar changes when we get to the point that we’re ready to grow and change.
We begin to leave behind the fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that we’ve held onto and wrapped ourselves in for so long. We begin to replace them with new thoughts, beliefs, and habits that will help us become the woman we were created to be and to experience life as if for the first time, completely open to new experiences, opportunities, and, yes, new love!
If you’re tired of living life as a caterpillar – tired of being afraid, of allowing someone or experiences from your past to determine your worth, happiness, and what’s possible for you – and you’re ready to begin growing, transforming, and becoming a new version of yourself, then make a choice to beginnow!
You can start your transformation signing up for the “Ready to Love Again, 6-Week Course, which starts on Wednesday, March 12th!
In this program, you will experience a complete transformation of yourself and your life as you:
Break free from the fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that have kept you stuck inside of unhealthy, dead-end, or past relationships
Develop new beliefs, habits, and attitudes that leave you feeling empowered and able to create the life and love your heart desires
Step into a new future, where you are free from the pain, regrets, patterns, and mistakes of the past
My partner doesn’t understand money and spends it recklessly. I’m afraid we’re going to end up in the poorhouse. We can’t even bring the subject up because it immediately leads to a fight.
Ask anyone what one of the top reasons for divorce is, and they will probably say, “Money.” Contrary to public opinion – and even studies – I disagree. I don’t believe that money is the main reason people get divorced. It’s how people relate to one another when it comes to money that leads to the arguments, blame, and resentment that ultimately leads many couples to divorce one another.
So what are some of the factors that lead to having “money problems” inside of romantic relationships?
Keeping “money secrets.” One of the reasons people have trouble when it comes to money and relationships is that, many times, they don’t discuss money issues prior to joining their lives, and, consequently, their finances. I’ve had clients who, because they are in a lot of debt feel as sense of shame around their situation, are afraid that it could cost them being in a relationship with someone they love. Hence, they’ll avoid bringing up the topic of finances until after marriage.
Granted, when we are getting to know someone, we always try to present ourselves in the most positive light. But, once you begin getting closer and consider spending your life with someone, it’s important to be honest about those issues that can potentially impact the other person. While it’s natural to be afraid when you’re unsure of how a person will react to learning something about you that’s not wonderful and exciting, it’s also important to have trust in a relationship and that begins with being truthful.
Being afraid to join finances. Another common money issue I’ve seen come is the unwillingness of one or both of the people to join finances when they join their lives – and I’m not even talking about those that start our their marriages with a prenuptial agreement that protects them justin case the marriage comes to an end (which is a whole other blog post!). I’m referring to the fear of giving up “what’s mine” in order to begin to create “what’s ours.”
When I coach women in this area, I remind them that the real issue is not whether or not they actually join their finances with their husband, it’s dealing with the fear that has them belief that this is unsafe or that he will someone take advantage of or not provide for her needs. That is a much deeper issue than whether or not you go to the bank and open a joint checking or savings account. And, while this is a topic that calls for more coaching than I can do via this blog post, I will say that, once the fears are addressed, the woman begins to experience freedom around finances and to enjoy a very deep level of intimacy with her husband.
The unwillingness to compromise. Before we get married, each of us has a certain way of doing things. We have a system for paying our bills on time, managing our checkbook, and tracking our spending (or not). When we get married, chances are that our new spouse also has his own way of doing these things and there’s a very good chance that it’s going to be different than our way. Coming to the conversation ready to prove that you’re right and he’s wrong is only going to have both of your defenses up. Here’s where the willingness to compromise and consider that maybe – just maybe – there is another way to do things. Being willing to accept that different doesn’t mean “wrong,” will go a long way toward avoiding those arguments you mentioned in your email.
Going back to your original question, you mention that your partner is spending money “recklessly.” Can you see how there is already a judgment that how he spends and manages money is “wrong”? For men, who have a natural desire to provide for and please women, this also sends the message that you don’t trust him to be responsible and care for you.
A better way to approach this may be just letting him know what you would like, instead of what you think he should do. For instance, letting him know that you’d really like to buy a home, go on vacation, or put money aside for retirement or an emergency fund will probably land a little bit better than pointing out all the ways he’s being irresponsible or reckless with money. Letting him know that you trust him could ignite his natural tendency to want to provide for and please you. At the very least there won’t be any accusations for him to defend himself against, which means it’s likely the conversation won’t turn into an argument.
Money issues can bring out the best and worst in people. However, the willingness to communicate, trust, and compromise are essential to creating both emotional and financial intimacy in a relationship!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
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