This weekend we celebrated Independence Day in the United States. While I’m always grateful to live in this country, on July 4th in particular I am present to how incredibly blessed I am to have the freedom and opportunities available to me!
One of the truths about freedom is that it’s never “free.” Freedom comes with a price. There are millions of men throughout history who have fought for, stood for, and given their lives so that I could enjoy the freedom I have today to create the life my heart desires.
The same holds true when it comes to you and your life. Whether or not you live in the U.S., you actually have the power to break free from the past and create a new future where you are able to experience the love and joy your heart desires! But that freedom also comes with a price.
To create the type relationship your heart truly desires, you have to be willing to let go of a few things.
You have to let go of the stories you have been telling yourself about you not being worthy or deserving enough to experience that type of love.
You have to let go of the resentment, regrets, and anger that you’ve been holding onto and have kept you bound to your past.
You have to let go of fearand be courageous enough to trust and open your heart to love once again.
Once you let go of those things that have been holding you back, keeping you stuck, and blocking you from attracting and experiencing the type of love you want,there is FREEDOM on the other side!
Freedom from pain.
Freedom from fear.
Freedom from a past that no longer serves you!
So, if you are in a place in your life right now where you feel held back, held down, and unable to move forward, I invite you to LET GO and embrace the love, happiness, and freedom that are already waiting for you!
And we’ll be there to welcome you on the other side!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
This is a completely different subject but still in the line of ultimatums. My boyfriend watched porn before we got together but we agreed he’d stop for us to be together, so he threw his CDs away. 7 months later, I found one of the “thrown away” CDs out after I came home from visiting family in a different state. He broke it and promised not to do it again. But since then, I’ve found out he’s still watching it because it was on the history (and we only have an 18mo old and one on the way, so no other adults in the house). He started deleting the history and promised once again he would not watch it because he wants us to stay together and he loves his family. Finally, today I found out he watched another one and deleted it (it had a time stamp on the computer) the other day when I went to get my haircut and our son was taking a nap.
So how do I let him know that I’m finished with his porn addiction? He needs to stop or we are gone. I love him and I know he loves us…but I can’t keep putting negative thoughts into my head when it’s not about me.
*Confused*
I know that this can be a very sensitive topic, so I appreciate you reaching out to write about it. I can hear that you are feeling very frustrated and unsure about what to do.
People have different opinions regarding porn, and it’s clear that yours is that you don’t like it, agree with it, or want anything to do with it. Apparently, your boyfriend feels differently. He enjoys watching porn, and was doing so before getting together with you, so it’s important that you realize that his choice has nothing to do with you.
You continue looking for evidence, catching him, and telling him he has to stop. He continues to promise you that he won’t watch it anymore because he loves you, and, therefore, doesn’t want you to be upset and he wants to try to make you happy. This cycle will probably continue for as long as you continue to try to get him to stop.
The fact is that he is a grown man, and, whether or not this is a true addiction or simply something that he enjoys, telling him what he can or cannot do is something that may be okay when it comes to your 18-month-old, but not for an adult man.
In fact, the more you try to control him by telling him what he can and cannot do, the more likely he is to want to do it.
As you read in the other article, ultimatums rarely work, especially when it comes to relationships. So threatening him to leave and take your children with you may get him to stop — perhaps temporarily — but it will most likely impact the love and intimacy in your relationship because (1) you’re threatening to take your children away, and (2) you’re treating him like a child, rather than the man who is the father of your child.
Telling him what to do hasn’t worked, and threatening him hasn’t and probably won’t work. The only way he is going to stop watching porn is if he chooses to stop of his own free will.
True change only ever “sticks” when it comes from within.
So, what are your options?
Well, you say that you love him and you know he loves you. The fact that you know this tells me that he’s probably a good man and father. It also tells me that you probably don’t want to leave him. So, before you threaten to leave and take your children with you, you want to make sure that you are willing to go through with it, should he choose to continue watching porn.
Another option is letting him know that you do not want pornography in the house. By expressing your desire in this manner, you are making it about you and what you want – or, in this case what you don’t want – rather than what you want him to do or not do. This doesn’t mean that he will stop, but at least you will have expressed yourself in a respectful manner.
You can also accept that this is something that he enjoys watching, acknowledge that it has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you, and let it go. I know it probably won’t be easy, given your feelings about it. However, it is possible to respect him and his choices without agreeing with them.
If you do choose to leave and take your children with you, it’s important that you not make your choice to leave about him not wanting to stop watching porn. Instead, own your choice and make it about you not being willing or able to accept it. That way, you can be empowered in making your choice, rather than seeing yourself as a victim of his.
As I said, I know this is a sensitive topic, and you may have additional questions, so, if you’d like to talk about it some more, feel free to contact me and we’ll schedule a time to talk so that I can offer further support!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
I’m so excited! This week my husband booked us on a Disney Cruise – something I’ve been saying I want to do for seven years!
I’m seriously so excited I have no idea how I’m going to keep this surprise from my kids a minute longer!
Seven years is a long time to wait for something. There have been times when I thought it was never going to happen. I mean, we’d talk about going – a lot. We’d look at the dates and prices online, and talk about booking the cruise. We’d even set a date and then see that date come and go.
What was missing?
Committed action!
See, wanting to go on a cruise is not enough.
Talking about wanting to go on a cruise is not enough.
Even setting the dates and researching the prices isn’t enough.
To go on a cruise, you actually need to reserve your date and pay the price!
The same holds true when it comes to having the type of relationship you really want.
You’ve been waiting to be in a real, loving, passionate relationship for probably as long as you can remember.
Wanting to be in a relationship is great, but if you’re not out there, meeting new men and dating successfully, it’s not going to happen.
Talking about how much you want to be in a great relationship is not the same as knowing the skills it takes to make a relationship work.
Reading books, attending webinars, and bookmarking articles about how to have a successful, lifelong relationship is not the same as working with someone 1-on-1 who can help you identify what’s been stopping you from attracting the love you want and then help you create that relationship in your own life!
The only way to be in the relationship you want is to take committed action and begin creating that relationship now!
This is what I help women do in my private coaching program. In this program, I help you identify:
What’s stopping you from experiencing the love you want
What you need to do to remove those blocks
The steps you need to take so that you can finally have the relationship you want
Because of the high level of support and attention I give my private clients, I’m only able to accept a few women into the program at a time. Right now, the program is almost full, so, if you know that you’re tired of talking about the kind of relationship you want and you’re ready to take committed action toward making your dream a reality, then reserve a spot for a complimentary Ready to Love Session now!
Think about it…
Six months from now you could be talking about the relationship you’re in, instead of the relationship you want. I’d love to help you make that dream come true! Reserve your spot now!
After working on ourselves, trying hard to make changes, and not seeing the results we thought we’d have, we begin to wondering whether we should just stop trying so hard, throw in the towel, and give up on our dreams.
I’ve been there myself, and I know how painful and disillusioning it can be to think that what my heart desires just “wasn’t meant to be.”
When you have a big dream – the type of dream that moves and inspires you, that fills you up with joy at the very thought of it, and that you know in your heart it’s what you want more than anything else in the world – and it doesn’t seem to be happening, it can be heartbreaking.
In those heart-wrenching times, it’s easy to let your fears and doubts get in the way of your vision. It can feel like it’s easier to just let your dream go and walk away from it, rather than continue taking the steps that will lead you in the direction of making those dreams come true.
Maybe your dream is that you’ll meet the man who’s perfect for you, but you’re tired of dating men who aren’t interested in being in a relationship or with whom you just don’t feel a real connection. This scares you, and the little voice in your head keeps telling you that maybe you’re just not meant to be in a relationship.
Maybe your dream is about reigniting the love and passion you and your man once shared. But it’s been such a long time since you’ve felt that closeness, and you wonder whether the relationship was ever meant to be and if it’s even worth saving.
Maybe your dream is to go back to school, start a new career, or launch that business you’ve always wanted to have, but you’ve been too afraid to step away from what you’re already doing and from the salary you’re already making to branch off into something new. So you try to convince yourself that maybe you’re already doing what you were meant to do, even though in your heart of hearts, you know that simply isn’t true.
No matter what your dream is, if you’re thinking about giving it up, I’m here to tell you: DON’T!
There is a reason that dream was placed in your heart in the first place, and you owe it to yourself to do everything you can to make it come true!
There were times in the beginning of my marriage where I wondered whether I’d made a mistake and married the wrong man. I’d tell myself it would be easier to just be single again so that I could find someone else that I could make things work with. The truth is I was terrified to make the changes I knew could help our relationship because I was afraid he wouldn’t want to make it work, and then I’d feel rejected.
There have been times in my business where I’ve wondered if maybe it would just be easier to go get a job or do something else. While I knew in my heart that relationship coaching is what I was born to do, I was afraid to do the work it would take to reach out to new clients, that I’d something in a blog post or email that would upset someone, and that I might not be able to actually make a living doing what I love.
As scared as I was in both of these situations, the one thing I refused to do was give up. Why?
Because my faith in my dream was bigger than any fear that might show it’s ugly face!
A huge part of loving yourself is being true to yourself and honoring your heart’s desires. When you sell out on yourself and your dreams, you’ll never really experience the fulfillment you long for!
So, how do you push past the fear and keep believing in your dreams, even when things are not flowing, you’re not getting the results you want, or you have other people telling that maybe you should just give up?
You recommit.
You recommit to yourself and your dream.
You remind yourself that this is your dream, this is your life, and that it’s up to you to make that dream come true!
You find people in your life who believe in you and your dream and are willing to help you make it come true!
You remember that the dream in your heart was placed there by something greater than you and that this means that there IS a way to make it happen!
So, right now, take a moment and think about your dream.
Have you been taking the steps to push past your fear and make it happen?
Have you reached out to people who believe in you and who can help you in making that dream come true?
Have you made your faith in yourself and your dream bigger than your fears?
If you answered “No” to any of the above questions, I have another question for you:
Are you ready to recommit to your dream?
If you are, I first want to congratulation you and let you know that I’d love to be one of those people who will stand for and encourage you in helping it come true!
I also want to invite you to post it in the comments section of the blog and declareyour re-commitment to your dreamand one step you are going to take within the next 7 days to make it come true!
Something powerful happens when you are courageous enough to declare your dream publicly. It invites others to stand with and for you in helping them become a reality!
And, as always, I want to encourage you to let us know if there is any way we can help support you in taking the steps that lead you in the direction of your dreams!
Here’s to living a life of dreams come true!
Remember to post below your re-commitment and one step you’re going to take in the direction of your dreams!
The truth is that, unless you identify the fears, doubts and limiting beliefs that have been holding you back from experiencing the love you dream of, you will most likely self-sabotage your way out of even a great relationship with a wonderful man.
Why?
Because, undistinguished, fears and doubts appear real.
Until you distinguish and dismantle the thoughts and dysfunctional relationship patterns, they will creep up and color the way you see, hear, and experience things in a relationship.
Today I’d like to share the testimonial of a woman who, after going through a bitter divorce, and “kissing a lot of frogs,” finally got clear about the type of relationship she wanted to experience and attracted a wonderful man into her life!
Even though she’d met a great man, she almost pushed him away. As great as he was, and as wonderful as she felt when she was with him, she almost ended the relationship over his height and a pair of jeans!
We did some work together to uncover some of the fears that had been deeply buried, were completely in her blind spot, and were about to have her self-sabotage her way out of the best thing that ever happened to her!
No one can tell the story like she can, soclick below to listen to a short clip of the testimonial.
Not kissing frogs anymore! Now she’s kissing the man of her dreams!
Click below to listen to the entire interview and hear about her personal journey to experiencing a love far greater than she ever imagined was possible!
If you’re ready to stop self-sabotaging your way out of love, and you are ready to begin experiencing success in your relationships, it’s time to take a bold and courageous step in the direction of your dreams! Just click here and let’s set up a time to talk and create a plan for helping you get out of your own wayso that you can make your dreams come true!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
I took some of my downtime this weekend to read through some of the articles and newsletters I subscribe to, and I was pretty amazed at how much emphasis some coaches are putting on having women focus on envisioning the type of man they’d like to attract. Now, before I go on, let me reassure you that I am a huge believer in being clear about what you want to attract into your life – especially your love life – so that you can actually experience it. But attracting a great guy into your life is not enough.
The issue I have with focusing only on the type of man you want to attract is that way too much of your energy is being focused outside of yourself, rather than inward, which is where you actually have control over what happens and manifests in your life.
Here’s the thing, I’ve spoken to hundreds of women who are dating, in relationship with, or married to some really great men and they are totally unhappy!
Why is that?
How can a woman attract a wonderful, loving, and generous man into her life and still be unhappy?
Well, one of the reasons is this:
Even if you attract a fantastic man into your life, unless you address the fears, thoughts and behavior patterns that have led to not having a successful relationship, chances are you’re going to self-sabotage your way out of the best thing that could ever happen to you!
See, you could be out there, dating a lot of interesting, intelligent, and commitment-minded men, but if you’re stuck in your head – in the fears, doubts, and resentment of the past – you will not be able to see or recognize what’s right in front of you. And chances are that you’ll resort to familiar thoughts and behaviors and wind up doing things that lead to ending a relationship before it even starts.
You can be dating or married to a wonderful man, and if you don’t know how to speak to him in a way that allows him to hear your feelings, you’re going to be left feeling unheard and like he’s insensitive and doesn’t care about you at all. This will lead to more arguments than you can count – until one of you gets tired enough to end things.
You can be in a relationship with a great guy, and unless you know how to say what you want without nagging, complaining, or criticizing him, he’s going to do one of two things: withdraw or resist. Neither of which leads to creating romance or intimacy!
You can be in a relationship that is romantic, exciting, and everything you ever hoped for at the beginning, and unless you know how to keep that spark alive, you’ll end up feeling bored, stuck, and left wondering whatever happened to that amazing man who swept you off your feet!
The fact is that if you continue doing the things you’ve always done, you are going to continue getting the results you’ve always gotten. It’s that simple.
Knowing how successfully date and be in a relationship, to communicate so that he can listen and respond to you, and how to keep love and romance alive over time takes a specific set of skills. And it’s not about simply knowing what these skills are but also understandinghow to implementthem so that you are consistently building a solid foundation for a relationship that can last for a lifetime!
So, while, yes, I invite and encourage you to envision the type of relationship you want to have and experience – to really allow yourself to picture it and feel what it will be like to be in it – I also encourage you to do the inner work and learn the skills that are going to have you not only attract a great man into your life, but create a beautiful, loving, intimate relationship that exceeds even your wildest dreams!
Because that’s the type of love you deserve!
On that note, I want to let you know that I’m in the process of interviewing single women and women in relationships who are interested in joining my 6-month coaching program that begins in June. If this is something you would like to learn more about, don’t put your dreams on hold any longer. Just click here and let’s set up a time to talk and create a plan for helping you make your dreams come true!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.AcceptRead More
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
