This week my heart has been heavy. I’ve heard from three different women who have reached out to tell me that their marriages are ending. It’s heartbreaking for me to hear news like this. Marriage is such a sacred, precious union. When two people choose to join their lives because they love each other, they do it fully expecting the love that they feel for one another to grow stronger over the years. They do not get married hoping to hurt, disrespect, and kill the love they once felt for one another. I’m the first one to admit that having a wonderful marriage takes work. It’s a daily commitment to being my best self so that I can have the love, happiness, and peace in my marriage that envisioned when we first got married. It wasn’t always like this for us. We went through rough patches, just like every other couple. There were times when I wondered if we’d make it. I remember noticing that things were changing between us. I remember asking myself where the love, passion and fun we used to share had gone. We were arguing more often, rarely having fun together, and I carried my resentment like a badge of honor. We were not hugging, kissing, or sleeping together as often and there were many nights when I cried myself to sleep. Our marriage didn’t get to that point over night. There were signs along the way. Things had been getting bad for a while. And I silently prayed and hoped that things would change. One day I decided I couldn’t ignore what was happening any longer. I couldn’t just keep hoping and praying that things would get better. I knew I had to do something in order to transform who I was being so that I could help turn my marriage around. I began doing my inner work, sought out mentors and coaches who would help and hold me accountable, and began experiencing the inner shift that began having a very real effect on my marriage. It took some work and it didn’t happen overnight, but soon the constant arguing stopped. We were holding hands and smiling at each other again. We began laughing and kissing and making love again. My transformation helped transform my relationship and I began to see the man I’d fallen in love with in a whole new light! If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage (or you know someone who is), don’t ignore the signs. Don’t pretend you don’t see them, and certainly don’t think that things are just magically going to get better on their own. They won’t.
In today’s video I do something I rarely do because of how protective I am of the time I have with my family on the weekends. However, I’m really committed to making a difference, so I’m offering to talk with a few of you who are ready to begin turning your marriage around this weekend.
Now, here’s the deal.
There are thousands of women reading this email right now and I’m only opening a few spots, because I still want to spend time with my husband and kids. I also only have two spots available in my private coaching program. So, I’m asking that you reach out to me only if you are serious about investing in and doing the work you’ll need to do to turn your marriage around before it’s too late.
I’m not giving you the link to my calendar. If you want to speak with me this weekend, send me an email. It will be a first-come-first serve basis and I will let you know the times I have available, which will be mid-morning/early afternoon Eastern time.
I know in my heart that you don’t have to suffer and that by applying certain skills and practices you can transform your marriage. I’ve helped hundreds of women do this and I want to help you, too.
The signs are there and the time is now. If you’re ready to turn things around, hit reply and let’s talk!
This week is a special one in the Heart’s Desire family! Michelle & Arnie celebrated their 4th Wedding Anniversary!
If you see Michelle and Arnie together today, what you’ll witness is true and pure love. They have one of those relationships that just take your breath away and make you believe that dreams really can come true.
What you wouldn’t be able to see at first glance is that their story was very much like many of yours! See, there was a time when Michelle had given up on the idea that she would ever find the man who would help make her dreams come true.
After almost 13 years of a very difficult marriage, she found herself a young, single mother of two pre-teen boys. She had tried “the dating thing” and found that she kept having the same failed relationship – or pseudo-relationship, because they were only relationships in her mind – over and over again.
“I kept dating the same guy, with a different face, and in a different body, but the results were always the same: They were either unavailable, ‘getting separated,’ or had some type of drug or alcohol problem.”
It seems like, no matter what she tried to do, she just couldn’t get it “right.”
She began to lose hope on finding true love and wanted to give up.
Then something shifted.
Michelle’s coach told her something that would change her life forever.
He asked her, “What do all of those guys have in common?”
“They’re men!” she said.
“Besides, biology,” he said, “what’s the one thing they all have in common?”
She paused, not wanting to say it. “Me.”
The only thing every single one of those men and relationships and in common was her.
This is what started Michelle on the inner journey that has led to her experiencing the love of her dreams!
She began doing the inner work to distinguish, dismantle, and replace the fears, doubts and limiting beliefs that had been causing her to repeat dysfunctional and painful patterns so that she could open her heart to experiencing true love.
And, it was thanks to being courageous enough to be willing to do that work that on a Valentine’s Day 9 years ago Michelle went on her first date with Arnie, and began creating her own Lifetime Love Story!
Was it “easy” work? Not always?
Was it always “fun”? No.
But it was the willingness to stop complaining about how unhappy and frustrated she was and to begin transforming herself and her life that lead to her living her dream-come-true!
And allof the steps that she took, the changes that she made, and the inner work that she did are what we’ve included in our Ready to Love Againprogram!
See, as happy as Michelle is in her marriage and I am in mine, we believe with every bit of our hearts that it is every woman’s birthright to have the experience of loving and being lovedbeyond her wildest dreams every single day of her life.
This is why we’ve used our own experiences – our own Love Journeys of heartache, loss, and finding love again – to help women around the world create the life and the love of their dreams!
To celebrate Michelle and Arnie’s fourth anniversary as well as making this the last Valentine’s Day you spend without the love of your dreams, we are giving you a very special opportunity to purchase the Ready to Love Again Home Study Course for almost 50% off the regular price!
That’s how committed we are to you finally breaking through the behaviors, beliefs, and patterns that are keeping you stuck in heartache and loneliness!
Women around the world are experiencing breakthroughs in their lives they never anticipated!
They are attracting great men into their lives!
They are no longer settling for less than they deserve!
And some are planning their weddings!
There is absolutely no reason for you to spend one more Valentine’s Day wishing you finally had the love your heart desires.
Take a step today toward making your dreams come true by allowing us to guide you on your Love Journey.
Are you tired of attracting the wrong man into your life?
Does it feel as if you keep dating the same man with a different face, name, and body?
If it seems as if you keep repeating the same patterns and having the same experiences in dating and relationships, you’ll want to tune in and watch this video where I answer the question, “How do I stop attracting the wrong man?” which was submitted by one of the viewers who saw our Transformational Tuesday interview, “Getting Ready to Love Again,” with Deborah Deras!*
In this video, I explain what may be causing you to create the same experience over and over again in dating and relationships– even if it’s something you don’t want!
I also walk you through an exercise we do with our clients that helps them to distinguish what some of their Dysfunctional Patterns are so that they can begin to dismantle and deal with them powerfully!
If this video isn’t for you, but you have women in your life who you feel could benefit from the information, please share it with them. There’s nothing more loving you can do than to help another woman break a cycle that is causing her so much frustration and heartache!
After you watch the video, please leave your comments in the Comments section of the blog so that we can continue the conversation!
*P.S. The Transformational Tuesday interview with Deborah Deras received such a great response that we are doing an Encore Presentation tomorrow night, Tuesday, February 10th, at 10:00pm ET. There will be a simultaneous live Twitter Chat where we will answer your questions LIVE as they come in! It’s going to be transformational, informative, fun and FREE!
Many of our clients are experiencing the growing pains that come with making real changes in their lives. The kinds of changes that lead to true transformation.
It’s easy to forget that change – even when it’s “good change” – can feel uncomfortable. In fact, at times, it can feel downright painful.
Transformation is a process.
It requires letting go of what’s become familiar – what we’re used to – and taking on new beliefs, behaviors and ways of being.
It involves being willing to try something new – something that brings with it the promise of new – or renewed – love.
Transformation requires courage.
It involves having the courage to hope that things can improve and turn out differently, without knowing exactly what that final outcome will be or look like.
My favorite symbol of transformation is the butterfly.
A butterfly is so beautiful and delicate. She flutters from one place to another with such grace and ease.
To see her in all of her splendor, it’s easy to forget that that she wasn’t always that beautiful, graceful being.
At one point she was a small, fuzzy, worm-like thing. Not necessarily something that inspired awe or wonder.
To get to this beautiful stage, the butterfly had to be willing to transform herself from the insideout.
She had to be willing to be uncomfortable. She had to be willing to go through the pain and then release herself from what had been keeping her captive!
It’s the same with you, my beautiful butterfly-in-the-making.
To make changes so that you can experience the happy, loving, passionate relationship you have always wanted, you’re going to have to go through some changes. You’re going to have to be willing to be courageous.
You’re going to have to be willing to let go of and release yourself from the beliefs, fears, and behaviors which do not serve you and are not giving you the results that you want.
It won’t always be easy.
There will be times when you’ll wonder if it’s just easier to stay inside of your cocoon of fear, doubt, pain and resentment.
And it might seem like it for a while, but staying there will not allow you to break free, spread your wings and experience and enjoy the love and happiness that are waiting for you on the other side!
I invite you to break through the resistance and resignation and embrace the life and love that are your birthright.
It’s time to break free and spread your wings so that you can discover the love that is already waiting for you!
If you’re ready, we’re here to help guide you in becoming the beautiful butterfly you were created to be!
Comments? Question? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you feel like you are exactly where you were meant to be?
Last week was like that for me!
I spent the first part of the week in California with one of my mentors and her coaches, and then spent the last part of the week attending a very intensive 3-day business workshop where I had incredible personal breakthroughs.
I just love transformation, don’t you?
During both events, I had the opportunity to listen to amazing women share about their personal journeys of how they came to where they are now in their lives, relationships, and businesses. With each interaction, I was able to connect with them on very personal level and share some of my heart with them, as well.
Some of the stories I heard this week were heart-breaking.
I met women who had lost everything due to natural disasters and unforeseen circumstances and had to rebuild their lives.
I spoke to women who had hit a wall in their love lives and, with coaching, were able to turn their relationships completely around.
I met women who are still experiencing the dark part of their journeys, but who were committed to working on transforming those areas of their lives.
I saw women break through their fears right in front of my very eyes!
All of these women – from different parts of the world, economic situations, and life circumstances – shared one thing in common: The unwillingness to stay stuck where they were.
Some may call that perseverance, tenacity, or determination. I call it the Essence of who we are as women.
There is something that lies within the core of our Selves – some refer to it as our spirit, or soul – that we are equipped with, which makes us able to experience pain and resolve to move forward with grace and strength.
If you are in one of those dark moments in your life –
If your relationship is falling apart and you don’t know where or how to begin to turn it around…
If you are frustrated with dating and are close to wanting to give up (or you already have)…
If you are feeling lost, lonely, and afraid all the time and long to love and be loved…
I want you to know that you are not alone.
No matter what it is you are going through, there is love, peace, and freedom on the other side of this! It may not seem like it now, but I promise you – because I have been through my own dark valleys when it comes to love – that you can experience more love, joy, and fulfillment than you can imagine!
It will take some work to get there, and some of it won’t be “easy,” but, as I said, you won’t be alone.
As we approach the end of 2014, take an inventory of your love life. Ask yourself:
Is my love life everything I want it to be?
Even if things are “good” or “okay,” is there another level of love and intimacy I’d like to discover?
If my love life is not what I want it to be, am I willing to take a courageous step forward and do the inner and outer Heart Work to shift that and begin seeing my heart’s desires fulfilled?
These are questions only you can answer. Only you know what’s really going on in your heart.
Whatever your answers to these questions, I’m happy to help you walk through any of them, if you’re ready. I truly am here to serve and support you, and my commitment is that you actually begin to see your heart’s desires fulfilled. Just click here to set up a time to talk.
For those who celebrate the holiday, today is a day of trick and treats, and where people are open to feeling a little frightened. It’s part of what makes the holiday fun!
When it comes, to relationships, however, being tricked and feeling frightened is not the type of fun we’re seeking!
As exhilarating and wonderful as falling and staying in love can be, it can also be one of the scariest experiences we’ll go through! It’s not the kissing, hugging, and spending time together that is frightening. What makes love seem scary is (1) all of the “stuff” we make up in our minds about what love is and should be, and (2) the amount of vulnerability it takes to let someone into our hearts.
Whether I’m talking to a single woman who is describing the man she’s considering dating, or the woman who has been married to the same man for years, I’m always fascinated to hear how much judgment there is around love.
The ironic thing is that what people say they want most in a relationship is to experience “unconditional love”! Yet, when it comes to looking over at the person on the other side of the date or relationship, there are so many thoughts and ideas about how he should be, think, and act, what he should be doing or not doing, that there is very little space for the man to just be himself.
Add to that the fact that you’re concerned about not being loved and accepted for who you are, and you’ve got a sure-fire recipe for fear!
What is it that makes opening our hearts feel like such a frightening thing?
The thought of someone finding out something about you that you are ashamed or embarrassed about or that may cause him to stop loving you can have you pretending to be someone you’re not a lot of the time.
The idea that you might open your heart to someone, only to have it broken again, can cause you to guard yourself to the point that you’re actually shutting the other person out, not allowing him a chance at giving you the love you so deeply desire.
The truth of the matter is this: To love takes courage.
Whether you are out there dating and getting to know new people in the hopes of meeting the man with whom you’ll share the rest of your life, or you are already with that man and you’re working on creating a lifetime love, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to step out from behind the walls you’ve built up to protect yourself from experiencing pain and open your heart to someone – especially when there are no guarantees about how things are eventually going to turn out.
But, however scary it feels, you’ve got to be courageous.
You have to trust yourself enough to take a risk.
And the faith that you will experience the love your heart desires needs to be bigger than the fear that you might not.
Wherever you are in your love life, make a choice today to step out in faith, to do something that you’ve been afraid to do before, and to be vulnerable.
Yes, you’ll probably feel a little frightened. That’s okay. Be courageous and do it, anyway!
It’s the only way to break through the fear and possibly experience a love that’s sweeterthan any piece of candy you may find in your pumpkin at the end of the night!
Be brave today, and always remember that you are loved!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
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