by heartsdesireintl | Dec 13, 2013 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Relationship Advice, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
If you’ve been reading our blog for a while, you know that we are big proponents of the idea that dating and relationships don’t have to be “hard work,” and that they can, in fact, be lots of fun! Well, what better way to prove that than to play a game and maybe win a makeover while you’re at it?
Well, if you like fun, learning, and looking great, then today is your lucky day!
We’d like to invite you to play a video trivia game for Video 1 in our “Meet Mr. Right-for-You” video series, “How to Meet More Great Guys”! Learn how you can easily begin attracting and meeting more quality men and having FUN while you’re at it!
The person who scores #1 on the leader board will win a $50 MAC Makeup gift card! The gift card can be used at MAC stores toward either a makeover or a purchase of some really fabulous makeup!
What a perfect way to put yourself at the top of your holiday gift list and look your best when you go out on all of those dates!
So, watch the video, get some great dating tips, play the game, and enter for a chance to win a makeover!
Let the games (and the FUN) begin!
To view all three videos in the “Meet Mr. Right for You!” video series, click here! (Scroll down to “Ongoing Events”)
by heartsdesireintl | Dec 9, 2013 | Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Relationship Advice, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
Loneliness can be a difficult feeling to be with, especially during the holidays.
There’s a difference, however, between spending time alone and feeling lonely. It can be nice when you have time and space to yourself (Those of us with kids know what a rare luxury that can be!). Alone time can feel comforting. It can be relaxing to focus on yourself; do what you want when you want to do it; reflect, plan and dream.
But loneliness is another feeling altogether.
Loneliness can feel empty, painful, and depressing. During times of loneliness, we can mistakenly feel as if there is no one out there who thinks about, cares for, and loves us – even if we are completely surrounded by people who continuously let us know that we are, indeed, not alone.
Loneliness when you’re single can be difficult, particularly during the holidays. There are parties and gatherings to attend, there’s a feeling of wanting to share these moments with someone else – someone other than family and platonic friends. And then there’s the thought of the upcoming New Year (not to mention that midnight kiss on New Year’s Eve).
Loneliness when you are in a relationship can feel just has empty and painful. Knowing that there is someone with whom you could be sharing those moments, but, because of distance – whether that’s physical or emotional – you’re unable (or he’s unwilling) to, can be heartbreaking.
So, what can you do when you’re feeling lonely?
- Focus on the people in your life who love you.
I’m not talking about “kidding yourself,” just to make yourself feel better. I’m talking about really taking stock of the people who truly love you and are there for you . Even though it’s not the romantic type of love that your heart desires, it’s important to acknowledge, accept, and appreciate the love that is already surrounding you so that you can be ready to welcome more in!
One of the keys to receiving more of what you want is to be grateful for what you already have, so take the time to notice the love that is already there, and let the people in your life know that you love them, too!
If you’re feeling lonely inside of a relationship, take some time to think about what you can do to shift the tide. It’s going to take some vulnerability to make the first move and let down your guard, but if you really want things to change, you’ve got to be willing to take the risk. And, many times, the other person has been doing the same thing you have – waiting for you to make the first move – and all they need is a signal to know it’s safe to start growing closer again.
Sometimes, the reason certain people are not in our lives has less to do with physical distance and more to do with emotional distance caused by resentment and the unwillingness to forgive.
Forgiveness does not mean that you are condone or approve of whatever the person did to hurt you. It just means you’re no longer willing to allow that situation to cause you anger and pain or to keep you from the ones you love.
If what happened is too painful for you to allow the person back into your life, you don’t have to. But, at the very least, forgive them in your heart and make room for love to fill the space the resentment has been taking up. If you were the one responsible for the transgression, consider gathering the courage to apologize. It’s no guarantee that the other person will allow you back into his/her life, but at least you will have cleared the space for that possibility.
- Make plans with the people with whom you’d like to spend time.
Waiting for people to invite you to go out or attend an event may result in you spending more time than you would like to alone. It may also be a matter of pride and not being willing to be vulnerable enough to let people know that you’d like to spend time with them. If you know there are people in your life with whom you’d like to spend some time, call them up, invite them out or to a party you’re hosting or would like to attend, or just to have a cup of coffee and catch up with them. You’re the one responsible for your happiness, so avoid staying home alone to prove just how lonely you are!
Reach out, connect with, and let the people in your life know that you love them, too!
And, if the people you reach out already have other plans, remember not to take it personally. Instead, schedule time together after the holidays. It will give you something to look forward to!
- Spend time taking care of others.
One of the most fulfilling ways to release feelings of sadness and loneliness is to care for others. Whether you volunteer to serve meals, collect or hand out presents, or visit people in the hospital or a nursing home, you will come away recognizing just how blessed you already are.
Giving love is another wonderful way to attract love – since like attracts like – so look for ways to give the gift of love to someone who may need it now more than ever!
- Fill your alone time doing things you love.
Even if you begin connecting and reconnecting with the people in your life, it’s likely that there are times when you are alone. Remember that alone time can be good for you, allowing you to pamper yourself and replenish your mind, body and spirit. So, make sure you’re doing at least one or two things a day that are just for you. Make a list of the things you enjoy doing, that relax you, and that make you feel loved and alive!
Giving love to others is one way to attract love, but so is loving ourselves!
For those of you who live in South Florida, a great way to connect with other amazing women is happening this Thursday, December 12th, at the South Florida Women’s Expo! Michelle and I will be talking about how to have it ALL in life AND love. And, not only will there be lots of great food, drinks, and shopping opportunities, but there will also be several women’s organizations and activities represented, and you may find one you’d in which you’d like to participate!
Loneliness can be difficult, especially during the holidays, but if you make this season a reason to reach out to and connect with others, you will come away feeling more love – and more loved – than you if you choose to spend it alone.
And, remember, the more love you give and receive, the more you will attract into your life!
If you have an idea for overcoming loneliness, especially during the holidays, please leave it below! We’d love to hear and share it!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 15, 2013 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Relationship Advice, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
This week I had the privilege of attending the Women’s Success Summit, one of my favorite professional events, because I get to learn great information for my business while having fun and being surrounded by good friends, other female entrepreneurs, and some amazing speakers! I also loved spending time with some of you, too!
Before leaving for the conference, I left all of the meals for the week prepared for my husband and the boys so that they’d have ready-to-go healthy meals and I wouldn’t have to plan or cook meals for the rest of the week (Yay! Cooking is something I do not enjoy at all!). Since my hubby was going to be flying solo for two full days, it was my way of saying, “Thank you, honey, for supporting and helping make my dreams come true by helping women around the world make their relationship dreams come true!”
In the past, I can honestly say that I would have never left for even one day without feeling guilty about it. I don’t know why it is, but, for some reason, as women, we tend to feel guilty about doing the things for ourselves that we enjoy, inspire and lift us up, as if by doing that we are somehow hurting or neglecting our families. And, by the way, this is also true for women who don’t have children. Somewhere along the road putting ourselves, our needs and desires first became “selfish” and unloving.
However, it’s virtually impossible to give and receive love freely if you don’t choose to take care of yourself first – guilt-free! As we always hear on the airplane, we can’t help anyone else until after we’ve put our own oxygen masks on. You simply won’t have the patience, energy, or desire to want to be with or care for anyone else if you feel frazzled, exhausted, and overwhelmed all the time. That’s why it’s important to do the things that you enjoy and help replenish your mind, body, and spirit!
So, what can you do to begin refueling your love and energy tank?
Make a list of the things you really enjoy doing.
Are there things that bring you joy and make you laugh aloud, help you feel peaceful and relaxed, or strengthen and empower you physically, emotionally, or spiritually? Put those things on your list! See if you can create a list of 20 things that you really enjoy. If it’s been so long since you’ve done anything for yourself that you can’t even think of 1, much less 20 things, think back a few years to when you were younger, or single, or first married. What are the things you used to do back then! Oh, and keep most of the items on the list simple and easy for you to do, because you’re going to want to do some of these every day!
Do 2-3 of the things on your list every day.
That’s right! There’s no typo! To have the patience, energy, and willingness to get out there and date or to have peace and intimacy in your home, you need to refuel your love and energy tank daily. It’s not enough to have one day each week or once a month when you go get your hair or nails done, have lunch with a friend, or sit down to read a book. You are living every day, which means you’re giving every day – usually to other people – so it’s important that you put yourself on your list of things to take care of every single day! It may feel difficult or uncomfortable when you first begin, especially if you’re not used to doing anything for yourself, but trust me, once you get used to it, you will see what a difference it makes for you and for the people around you when you are feeling happy, rested, and cared for!
Ditch the guilt!
The guilt you feel when you do something for yourself is self-imposed. And if you are allowing others around you to make you feel guilty, then just know it’s only because you’ve probably trained them to do so, because you haven’t made yourself and your happiness one of your priorities. We teach people how to treat us, and, once your friends, family, and/or begin to see that you are making your happiness and well-being a priority, don’t be surprised if they start to treat you with more Tender Loving Care, too!
Chances are very high that every woman reading this has someone or something for whom she is mainly responsible. And, just to be clear, I’m in no way saying that you should only focus on yourself to the detriment of those around you. What I am saying is that, loving, giving, and caring for others takes time, energy, and patience – none of which are available to us when we’re constantly on “empty” and running on fumes. Denying yourself pleasure and fun doesn’t make you more loving, and it certainly doesn’t make you more lovable. So, to experience the joy of loving and being loved freely and abundantly do yourself and those around you a huge favor, and do what you can every day to make sure your love and energy meter is always on “full”!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 8, 2013 | Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are.
~ Ariana Grande
I remember there was a time in my life where I wasn’t really happy being me. During my teenage years, my mom was married to a man who was physically abusive. There was a lot of violence and alcoholism in our home, and I was terrified of anyone – family or friends – finding out what we were going through.
So, for many years I pretended that everything was fine. I always had a smile on my face, was perky and positive. No one would have ever guessed that several nights a week the police had to be called, that there were times when we had to ask neighbors for food so that my sisters and I would have something to eat, or that I often wished I could disappear and become someone else – anyone else but who I was.
Those years took a toll on my self-esteem. Even after my sisters and I were removed from that living situation, I was still afraid that people would know why we lived with our uncle and aunt and why our little sister had to live with her dad. So, I kept pretending. I never let anyone see me cry. I pretended to be strong and have it all together. I fell for the wrong type of guy and believed him when he said that no one else would ever love me. I sincerely believed that if someone knew how “messed up” I was, what all my flaws were, that they would reject and leave me.
It wasn’t until I began to accept myself, to forgive – yes, my mom, stepfather, and ex-boyfriend, but also myself, for all of the mistakes and poor choices I’d made – that I began to see that there was nothing “wrong” with me. I am just as wonderful anyone else! I don’t have to do or be anyone or anything other than who I am. Who I am is more than enough! And who I am is already lovable!
I am just as wonderful anyone else! I don’t have to do or be anyone or anything other than who I am. Who I am is more than enough! And who I am is already lovable!
I don’t know if you can relate to the feeling of wondering whether or not who you are – with all of your assets, flaws, and quirks – is enough. Enough to be loved. Enough to be accepted. Wondering whether if the man who you’re dating or in love with were to discover “that thing” – whatever “that thing” is for you that you keep hidden, covered, and protected – would still choose to love you.
If that’s a thought floating around in your head, I want you really take in what you are about to read.
You are already whole, perfect, compete, and absolutely lovable, just the way you are!
You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not.
You don’t have to hide the things about you that you don’t want others to see or know.
The ability to unconditionally love and accept another and to receive unconditional love and acceptance truly begins with being willing to unconditionally love and accept yourself, first!
And I want you to know that the man who chooses to love you is going to love you – all of you. He’s going to love the silly quirks, like the fact that you cry during commercials; wish on a star, just in case it’s true that that works, and never leave an egg by itself in the carton so it won’t be lonely! (Yes, those are my quirks and Ric loves them!) He’s going to love the parts of you that you feel are not pretty or “perfect” enough. And his love will help you heal those parts of your heart that have been broken, dented, and bruised.
Yes, you can choose to change and grow and improve – but not in order to “fix” yourself or be deserving of love – just because you want to become an even more amazing version of you!
P.S. If this is something you struggle with really believing, we invite you to read the e-book we created with 30 other Heart Messengers titled 30 Days and 30 Ways to Fall In Love With YOU!: A Daily Journey to Discovering Self-Love!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
