by heartsdesireintl | Feb 5, 2014 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Saturday was a big day for my older son. He crossed over from being a Cub Scout to being a Boy Scout. Not only that, but he was recognized for two high achievements, The Arrow of Light, which is the highest achievement a Cub Scout can earn, and Super Achiever, which means he earned all 20 activity pins before his Arrow of Light ceremony. You can imagine the tears of pride and joy that were streaming down my face – not just because of the achievements, but because, as I sat there, I reminisced about all of the challenges he went through to get there.
See, those of you who know a little bit about me know that my son has a mild form of Autism called Asperger’s Syndrome, which impacts primarily his social skills. Being in large groups, dealing with changes in schedules, and even knowing how to start/end a conversation do not come easily for him. As I sat there, I remembered the times he walked up to strangers and asked them if they wanted to buy popcorn, and dealing with hearing “No” over and over again. I remembered him facing his fears and completing difficult challenges. I remembered him sleeping alone in a tent for the first time, and how, while I was only a few feet away, I could barely sleep, thinking of him being in there all by himself.
As my son began to cross the tight rope bridge that symbolized him having faced and overcome yet another hurdle, he slipped and fell…
My heart stopped and broke at the same time. I heard a few snickers. I felt my heart break a little more. I tried to smile and act as if it wasn’t a big deal, but all I wanted to do was run over there, pick him up, and get him off that bridge and into my arms, where he would be safe.
Instead, I stood there and watched him get back up with the help of the leaders around him. I watched him take one careful step after another, working through the fear and embarrassment he was feeling, until he made it all the way to the other side.
When he got off the ropes, he came straight into my arms and he broke down. I whispered how proud of him I was. I asked him why he was crying (I knew why I was crying), and he said he was embarrassed and proud of himself at the same time. And he said he didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t. I just let him be.
This wasn’t the memory I wanted him to have of his big crossover day. I wished I had a “rewind” button to have him start over again and get across the bridge without falling. But that fall was symbolic of everything he went through. It was part of his journey. And, despite the pain he was in, he was strong and courageous enough to get back up in front of all of those people and walk across to the other side.
I think I was more proud of that of all the other achievements.
So, what about you?
Where have you fallen along the way on your own love journey?
Did you choose to love someone who you thought was perfect for you, only to have your heart broken?
Did you stay in a relationship much longer than you should have, in hopes that he would change and things would get better?
Did you leave a relationship before reaching out for help to see if there was something you could have done to transform the relationship?
Are you still at the other side of your own tight rope bridge, stuck and about to give up on yourself and the possibility of you having the type of loving relationship you dream of?
If this is you, and you’re ready to reach your hand out for help and allow us to help you walk across the bridge to the other side, we’re opening 4 spots in our schedule next week to speak with you. The first 4 people to respond to this post will get one of these spots.
So, go ahead! Take a stand for yourself and respond to this post if you’re ready to get started!
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 25, 2013 | breakups, Communication, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
Yesterday was a real exercise for me in being willing to step outside of my comfort zone.
On Wednesday night, I worked into the wee hours of the morning on a big project, and quite frankly did not feel very perky or pretty on Thursday! I was tired and knew I had a long day ahead of me of phone calls, research, and a webinar I was presenting that night.
At about 3:30 in the afternoon I received a call from someone who works at a local TV station saying he needed to speak with me ASAP. I called him back and he wanted to know if I could come to the studio for a segment they were doing about the benefits of online dating. Immediately I said, “Yes, of course.” That’s when he told me I needed to be there in four hours! I thought it was an upcoming interview… Not one happening that night!
I tried to get out of it. I told him I was tired and that I could pack clothes in the bags under my eyes. I also told him I had to lead a webinar at 9:00 and the segment was not airing until 8:30, and that I was sorry, but I couldn’t see how it was going to work.
That’s when he said he’d send a car to pick me up and drop me off so that I would not have drive, that he’d have a makeup artist ready to greet me when I got there, and that he’d arrange for me to have a private conference room with Internet connection so that I could go upstairs after the interview and conduct my webinar.
I thought about cancelling my webinar, but I didn’t want to do that. If this was going to work for me, I needed to be able to have it all!
At that moment, I chose to do what wasn’t comfortable.
I hurried up and finished my work; got ready, dressed and out the door, and let the ladies who’d be attending the webinar know that we might start a few minutes late.
After the webinar, I rushed upstairs, sat in an office that wasn’t my comfy home office, battled with technology to get connected to the Internet, and started the webinar 20 minutes late. Not what I like or what I’m used to.
The webinar, however, went great. The ladies waited patiently for me to get set up and were so understanding about all of the glitches that took place. Everyone participated actively, and the insights they shared at the end of the night reminded me that everything I’d done that day was worth it!
When I got up to put my things away, I looked up and saw the frame that you see as the image on this page. It read:
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
~ Neal Diamond Walsh
So, what about you? Have you been willing to step out of your comfort zone?
Have you set up that online dating profile you’ve been putting off because you feel that online dating is “unnatural” or not your cup of tea, even though it might actually be fun and you might end up meeting the man of your dreams?
Have you started smiling and flirting whenever you’re out, even though it feels “weird” or you’re afraid of being rejected?
Have you chosen to forgive your husband or boyfriend? To let go of any resentments or judgments regarding what he “should” do to make things right between you?
Have you been willing to be open, vulnerable, and allow love to flow in, to, and through you?
If you have, great! I’m excited for you and would love to hear about how you’ve been able to break out of your comfort zone and create some amazing results!
If you haven’t, would you consider stepping out in faith?
Life happens right outside of our comfort zone, and there are miracles just waiting to be manifested and experienced by you!
So, go ahead! I dare you to be happy!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 13, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Today is our birthday!!!
And because we’re so grateful for the gift of another year of life, Michelle and I are feeling really generous and want to give you a gift!
So, in honor of Birthday Week, we are slashing the price of the “From Heartache to Your Heart’s Desires” Telesummit Interview Series Library by 20%! This means that you can get mp3 recordings of all 27 of the interviews with some of the leading experts in dating, relationships, healing, and transformation for the telesummit price of $77!
If you’ve experienced a heartache of any kind — a breakup, divorce, loss of a loved one, having fallen in love with who just wasn’t right for you, or you’re wondering how to heal a present relationship — these interviews will help you break through the the pain and fear of moving forward and begin to experience the life and the love your heart truly desires!
Here is what some of the women who have listened to the interview series are saying:
What an incredible interview with Julie-Anne Shapiro! I loved the part where she encouraged us to visualize our inner child and “provide her with what her heart desires”! That was a huge AHA for me! I was actually able to see the inner child in me…now I think I have an idea of what she desires Thank you again you Gladys Diaz for the incredible messages during the telesummit!!! I am so excited!!! ~ D
Hi Gladys, I just want to thank you for the love, support and wealth of inner personal growth and healing you’ve provided with those priceless presentations on your telesummit. Phenomenal is all I can say. Thank you. ~ G
Gladys, this telesummit has been informative, inspiring and very eye and heart-opening! Thank you for putting it together!!! One of my “ah-ha moments” was learning about how our negative relationship patterns get created during Stefan Gonick’s interview! ~ M
So far, these are all great! You’ve created something really wonderful :)…Thank you! ~ E
Thanks so much for putting all of these tele-interviews together, keep up the good work.
I just felt I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed the talk with Marcy Neumann – wow! Everything she said just echoed so deeply within me, it all made so much sense, I kept taking notes and re-listening to some of the parts. She has so much wisdom to share.
Thank you again.~ L
Click here to purchase the “From Heartache to Your Heart’s Desires” Telesummit Library, for 20% off the regular price now!
Lots of Love,
Michelle & Gladys
“The Twin Love Coaches”
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 4, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
I remember when I used to play on the monkey bars as a little girl. I’m afraid of heights, and the idea of hanging way up high terrified me, but not as much as knowing that, in order to move to the next bar, I had to completely open up one hand, let go of the bar, and move it to the next bar! But I knew that if I didn’t, let go, I’d either be stuck in the same place, or my arms would eventually get too tired, and I’d end up falling off!
The same is true when it comes to relationships. In order to move toward the type of life and love you want to experience, you may need to let go of all of the things that aren’t working until you get to the other side!
“Moving on” from a past relationship or from something that is not working in your life can be much easier said than done. When you love a person and have opened your heart to him, the thought of letting go moving on can be so scary it’s paralyzing! When you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be difficult to open your heart and let love back in, or to do what it takes to turn a relationship into the kind of loving union you dream of. This is what has many women holding on to a man, relationship, or limiting beliefs and behaviors that are clearly not giving them the experience they want for much longer than they need to. It’s also what keeps them stuck, alone, and lonely.
Having the type of love you want – the kind where you know that you know that he loves you, where it feels safe and secure, and where you get to experience love, peace, and joy – the kind of relationship that works means you need to be willing to let go of what doesn’t!
So, what are some of the things you may need to let go of in order to get to the other side — the side where all of your dreams about what life and love can be are waiting for you?
- Pain and resentment from the past: Holding on will keep you angry, bitter, upset, and either alone or lonely inside of a relationship. When you bring forgiveness to yourself and others, you create a space for something new to show up in your life!
- Your checklist of criteria or expectations: Consider that if you’re experiencing that one guy after another (or the man who you’re with) just isn’t “enough,” you may be holding on to a list of insurmountable criteria and expectations that are set up to help protect and keep you from being vulnerable, which is also keeping you from connecting and experiencing intimacy.
- The need to be right: Insisting on your way being the right way; being unwilling to accept, respect, or understand another’s ideas or point of view will keep you stuck in your own righteousness and does not allow for the possibility of intimacy.
- A dead-end relationship: If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, just waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for him to commit or propose to you, you may want to consider that either you’re not clear about what you really want, or you’re holding him responsible for you having what it is you want for your life. It may be time to let go of that relationship and make room for the man who is ready to share and spend his life with you.
If you’re feeling frustrated with the way things are showing up in your love life, perhaps it’s time to take inventory of your life and your relationships and be really honest with yourself.
Is there something that clearly is not working for you that you’re holding on to? Are you ready to finally let go and reach forward—toward the life and love you desire and deserve?
If so…
Take a deep breath and know that you are strong enough, you are worthy enough, and you will survive this. More than anything, know that the life and love your heart desires are already waiting for you!
And if you need support with letting go, know that we are only an email away! We’ll be right there beside you, cheering, encouraging, and holding you up until you get to the other side: The relationship you’ve always dreamed of!
Click here and let’s talk! We’re here for you!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Aug 30, 2013 | breakups, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
“If don’t ask me to marry you, then we need to break up.”
“If we don’t go to counseling, it’s over.”
“If you really loved me, you would…”
Ultimatums.
They give the person extending them a false sense of power. Why is it a false sense of power? Well, think about it. When you tell someone what he needs to do or say in order for you to be happy and have what you want, are you really the one with the power?
No.
You’ve basically handed over the power to have what you want to another person. You’ve made your happiness contingent upon the other person’s choice.
Think of it this way. Let’s say you’ve been dating someone for a long time and, while it’s all nice, the relationship clearly not going anywhere. If you know that in order for you to be happy, you want to be in a committed relationship that ultimately leads to marriage, then you are the one with a choice to make. Not him. Now, you can definitely let him know that you would like to be married, but you wouldn’t tell him that if he wants to stay with you, he needs to want the same thing.
You’d simply say something like, “I’d really like to be married” – not “I’d really like to marry you” or “If you want to stay together, then I need to know that our relationship is leading to marriage.”
The last two statements make your choice hinge upon what he wants. Plus, if he did propose to you because you threatened to leave him, you’d never really know whether he would have chosen to ask you himself. Not because he was afraid of losing you, but because he couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life without you!
In saying, “I’d like to be married,” you are owning your choice and your happiness. The word “you” (meaning him) is not even in that statement, because this is your desire.
The same holds true if you’re in a relationship or marriage. Telling your boyfriend or husband what he needs to do in order for you to be happy is manipulative and inauthentic. It’s a way to separate yourself from your own desires so that you don’t have to be vulnerable and share what you want for yourself.
Saying “We need to go to counseling, or it’s over” rather than “I’d like to go to counseling” is more about instilling fear in the other person. It also sends the message that, unless the other person does something to “fix” or change himself, the relationship simply won’t work. This message of “you need to change or be ‘fixed’” is what has most men resist the idea in the first place. Who the heck wants to go sit in an office with a stranger for an hour and listen to all of the things they’re doing wrong?
Saying “We need to go to counseling” also keeps you from committing to make the changes you can make that would make a difference in the relationship, because you’re hinging your willingness to change on his.
So, rather than throwing around ultimatums and giving away your power, own you power.
Look within and ask yourself what it is that you want. What is it that would make you happy? What have you been settling for and not willing to stand for? Where have you been making another person responsible for your own happiness?
Once you’ve identified those things, then create a simple statement that expresses what you want. Begin it with “I want…,” and make sure the words “you,” “we,” and “us” are nowhere in your statement.
Simply own your desire and embrace the power you have to create what you want in your life and in love!
If you’re ready to own your power and begin working with me to transform your dating life or relationship, simply fill out the new message form that popped up on this page and let’s set up some time time to talk!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
