You may have noticed that I’ve been a little “quieter” than usual over the past couple of weeks. There is a very GOOD reason for that!
See, Michelle and I are working on some really great and yummy things for you, all while I was also planning a week-long vacation with my family and family-in-love (my hubby’s brother, sister-in-love, and my mother-in-love)!
As a wife, mother, and entrepreneur, it’s important to me that I build my business around my family.
Do I want to succeed? YES!
Do I want to make a difference in the world? YES!
Do I want to be the best wife and mother I can be? YES!
Now, some people might say that it’s “humanly impossible” to do and succeed in all of these areas at the same time.
I call BS on that!
It IS possible to have BOTH a thriving and successful business/career and a loving, passionate relationship, if that’s your true intention.
Now, is it always “easy” to have it all? NO.
To take this week off and spend as much time playing, laughing, and relaxing with my family, it took some pre-planning, putting things in motion, and being willing to work a little longer than I usually do.
It took reaching out to my coaches and mastermind sisters to get the support and encouragement I needed to believe that I COULD complete my projects AND have time to play with my family.
It took letting my family know that I would be putting in longer hours and be more focused on my work for one week so that I could have fun with them for another.
It took asking for help and support from my team – both Team Diaz and Team Heart’s Desire – and letting go of the things I could not control.
And you know what? It worked!
Everything that needed to get done prior to leaving on vacation got completed, Michelle and I had a WONDERFUL time speaking at the Jazz in the Gardens Women’s Impact Conference and Luncheon, where many women registered to attend The Irresistible Woman Seminar, and our virtual assistant handled all of the behind-the-scenes work for our upcoming virtual event!
When your intention is to have everything your heart desires and you’re willing to do the work to have it be so, you really CAN have it ALL!
Whether you are single and trying to figure out how to continue having a thriving career while also finding time to attract and date the man with whom you will spend your life, or you’re a woman who is married or in a relationship and you want to continue growing your business or career while also growing closer to the man you love, there are steps you can take to ensure that you are experiencing all of the love, success, and happiness you desire.
Set a clear intention. Saying, “I want to be successful,” or “I want to be in a relationship” is not clear enough. You need to clearly define what “successful” and “a relationship” looks and feels like for you.
Career intention: Does “successful” mean having a certain title or income level? Does it mean having an organization of a certain size? How many hours do you want to work? What type of lifestyle (home, vacation time and places, location) do you want to have?
Relationship Intention: What does a successful relationship look like to you? When you close your eyes and envision yourself in the relationship of your dreams, how do you feel? What is the experience of loving and being loved that you want to have every day, for the rest of your life?
Create a plan of action. A dream without a plan is nothing more than a wish. Once you have your clear intention begin planning from the end and work your way back.
Career Plan: If you want to achieve a certain title at work in a year, what where would you need to be 2 months prior? To reach that level, at which level would you need to be 2 months prior to that, and so on. What are the steps you would need to take at each level to reach the next level? Who would you need to help support you? Have your action plan steps be as clear as the intention you set and as closely aligned to your intention as possible.
Relationship Plan for Singles: If you want to be married in a year, and you’re not out there dating, consider that, a year from now you will probably find yourself in the same exact place you find yourself in now. So, if you want to be married in a year, where would you need to be in your relationship 2 months prior to getting engaged? How well would you need to know each other before you’d be willing to commit your life to someone? How long would you like to date him? How often would you like to see and spend time with him? Make your plan clear, allowing for joy of being pleasantly surprised, but get into action, or don’t be surprised if there’s no guy, no relationship, and no proposal a year from now!
Relationship Plan for Girlfriends and Wives: If you’re in a relationship and you’d like to experience more support for your career goals and dreams, as well as more romance and passion in your relationship, what are the things standing in the way of experiencing that now? Are you holding onto resentment, or are you ready to forgive? Are you communicating openly and authentically with your husband or boyfriend? Are you complaining about him not being supportive or inviting him to be part of your dreams? Whatever it is you want to experience in your relationship, be honest with yourself and be willing to take the action steps that will lead you in the direction of your dream!
Get committed. One of the most critical aspects of having it ALL is your level of committed. Saying you want something and being willing to do the work it takes to have it are two completely different things! Remind yourself that this is YOUR life, YOUR dream, and WHY this is important to you.
Career Commitment: Keep in mind that there are probably at least 10 other people in your company or line of work who want to achieve a high level of success. The only thing that separates the people who achieve their goals from the ones who don’t is their level of commitment, which includes persistence and resolve. Anticipate that not everything will go according to your plan, but use each setback as an opportunity to learn and catapult you in the right direction. The only reason you will have for not reaching your goal is if you quit!
Relationship Commitment: Having a loving, passionate, intimate relationship doesn’t have to be hard work, but it does take work. Joining two separate individuals – with all of their past, history, and habits – to create one solid and successful partnership takes patience, understanding, and commitment. Everything won’t always run smoothly. You won’t always see eye-to-eye. There may be times when you wonder whether leaving is a more viable option than staying and doing the work to make your relationship work. However, the only thing that distinguishes relationships that last from those that don’t is the willingness to commit to finding a way to make things work. Assuming the man you are with is good and right for you, don’t be afraid of investing your time and heart in building a solid foundation for a love that will stand the test of time!
Having the time to relax and play with my family without worrying about having to work, check email, and wonder if my projects would get completed in time was a big enough “WHY” for me to set a clear intention about what I wanted to accomplish the past two weeks, to create a plan and put in the extra hours I needed to in order to ensure the work got done, and to commit to following the plan, even when I was tired, even when I thought I was crazy for thinking I could really make this work!
The results?
Having a blast with my husband and kids, romantic moments with my husband, getting to hold my baby nephew for the first time and smother him with love and kisses, and having fun time with my family-in-love!
Yeah… I’d say it was all well-worth being able to have it ALL!
P.S. If you’re a successful, professional woman who wants to create a life where you can experience success in your career AND a loving, passionate relationship, make sure you join us for The Irresistible Woman Seminar while Early Bird prices and the 2-payment option is still available!
Here’s our response to another great question we received after our amazing Transformational Tuesday interview with Deborah Deras! This one was sent to us by a single mother who wanted to know what she could do to start dating again.
Single, but not a single mother? There are some tips in here that will help you on your journey, as well!
Not single or a single mother, but know someone who is? Show her how much you care about and want her to have extraordinary love in her life by sharing this video with her!
Being a single mother can be lonely and scary. Those of us who have children know how challenging it can be at times to remember that you’re a woman, aside from being a mother, and that you have the desire to love and be loved beyond the love you give and receive from your children. You want that romantic, passionate love that you’ve always dreamed of.
It can be scary and difficult to open yourself up to the idea of loving again, even without children. However, being a single mother means also managing childcare, having time for yourself, and learning to date again!
In this video, I share the first steps a single mother must take to get ready to date and love again! In Part 2, Michelle will share the steps to take once you actually begin dating again!
Click the image below to view and share these tips!
We believe you deserve to have all of the love and happiness your heart desires!
Watch the video and let us know if there is anything we can do to support you in creating that in your life by sharing your comments and questions below!
This week, I’ve been dealing with a really bad cold, but, as “luck” would have it, the cold provided me with more evidence of the 3 P’s to share with you, because my husband has gone above and beyond this week to do everything in his power to Provide for, Protect, and (wait for it…) Please me!
That’s right! The third “P” most important to a man is that he feels like he is able to Pleaseyou.
Now, this may be difficult for you to believe if you’re either not in a great relationship, or it’s been a while since you’ve felt like a man has gone out of his way to make you happy. But trust me, this one is right up there with the other two P’s as something that is essential to a man.
Why is pleasing you so important to him?
Well, no good man ever wakes up in the morning saying, “I wonder what I can do today to make her absolutely miserable!”
First of all, if you’re miserable, chances are you are making him miserable, too!
Secondly, it really does make a man feel fulfilled and complete to know that he is capable of making you feel happy.
You’ll often here me say:
A man doesn’t just want to see you smiling. He also wants to know that he had something to do with the smile on your face!(Tweet, Tweet that one!)
When a man has the consistent experience that nothing he does is good enough, or that “there’s just no pleasing you,” it makes him want to withdraw and stop trying. He doesn’t want to know that he’s doing anything that is causing you to feel disappointed or unhappy. It simply doesn’t feel “good” or “right” to him to know that he’s contributing to your unhappiness.
So, what are some ways that you can help a man contribute to your happiness?
Stop making what makes you happy a secret!
Let him know what makes you happy. If there are things that you enjoy, like, or prefer, make let him know. If there is something you’d like to eat, an item you’d like to purchase, or a place you’d like to visit, tell him. Now, don’t tell him what to do or how to do it. Just let him know that it’s something that would make you happy. Let him figure out how to make it happen if he chooses to. Don’t make him try to guess or figure out what you want. Instead, set him up to win, because when he wins, you win!
If something he does pleases you, inform your face! In other words: SMILE! Don’t keep your happiness a secret because you feel like you’ll owe him something or you feel like he’ll stop trying. In fact, the very opposite is true. The positive feeling of knowing that he did something to make you smile is like a drug to man. He’s going to want to repeat that feeling – for you and himself – again, so you’ve just increased the chances that he’ll look for other ways to please you.
Show your appreciation. Don’t withhold your appreciation in an effort to seem like what he did is “no big deal.” You know how great it feels when you do something nice for someone and they let you know how much it meant to them. He’s no different. Letting him know that you are both happy and grateful for what he did will go a long way toward creating a wonderful cycle of giving, receiving, and appreciation in your relationship!
A good man will always do what he cans to please you.
If you feel like the man in your life has stopped doing the little things to make you happy, rather than looking outward at what he’s doing (or not doing; or not doing “well enough”) –
Look within and see if you’ve stopped telling him what makes you happy out of fear that you won’t get it.
See if you’ve been acting as if you don’t notice what he’s doing, or if you’ve been complaining that it’s not enough.
Ask yourself if you’ve stopped demonstrating your appreciation for the little things, the big things, and everything in between.
If you’ve been doing any of the above, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, make today the day you begin to turn things around by starting to look for and notice the things he is doing – even if it’s something you think he should be doing.
Then smile and let him know that, not only are you happy, but that he had something to do with the smile on your face!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
This week is a special one in the Heart’s Desire family! Michelle & Arnie celebrated their 4th Wedding Anniversary!
If you see Michelle and Arnie together today, what you’ll witness is true and pure love. They have one of those relationships that just take your breath away and make you believe that dreams really can come true.
What you wouldn’t be able to see at first glance is that their story was very much like many of yours! See, there was a time when Michelle had given up on the idea that she would ever find the man who would help make her dreams come true.
After almost 13 years of a very difficult marriage, she found herself a young, single mother of two pre-teen boys. She had tried “the dating thing” and found that she kept having the same failed relationship – or pseudo-relationship, because they were only relationships in her mind – over and over again.
“I kept dating the same guy, with a different face, and in a different body, but the results were always the same: They were either unavailable, ‘getting separated,’ or had some type of drug or alcohol problem.”
It seems like, no matter what she tried to do, she just couldn’t get it “right.”
She began to lose hope on finding true love and wanted to give up.
Then something shifted.
Michelle’s coach told her something that would change her life forever.
He asked her, “What do all of those guys have in common?”
“They’re men!” she said.
“Besides, biology,” he said, “what’s the one thing they all have in common?”
She paused, not wanting to say it. “Me.”
The only thing every single one of those men and relationships and in common was her.
This is what started Michelle on the inner journey that has led to her experiencing the love of her dreams!
She began doing the inner work to distinguish, dismantle, and replace the fears, doubts and limiting beliefs that had been causing her to repeat dysfunctional and painful patterns so that she could open her heart to experiencing true love.
And, it was thanks to being courageous enough to be willing to do that work that on a Valentine’s Day 9 years ago Michelle went on her first date with Arnie, and began creating her own Lifetime Love Story!
Was it “easy” work? Not always?
Was it always “fun”? No.
But it was the willingness to stop complaining about how unhappy and frustrated she was and to begin transforming herself and her life that lead to her living her dream-come-true!
And allof the steps that she took, the changes that she made, and the inner work that she did are what we’ve included in our Ready to Love Againprogram!
See, as happy as Michelle is in her marriage and I am in mine, we believe with every bit of our hearts that it is every woman’s birthright to have the experience of loving and being lovedbeyond her wildest dreams every single day of her life.
This is why we’ve used our own experiences – our own Love Journeys of heartache, loss, and finding love again – to help women around the world create the life and the love of their dreams!
To celebrate Michelle and Arnie’s fourth anniversary as well as making this the last Valentine’s Day you spend without the love of your dreams, we are giving you a very special opportunity to purchase the Ready to Love Again Home Study Course for almost 50% off the regular price!
That’s how committed we are to you finally breaking through the behaviors, beliefs, and patterns that are keeping you stuck in heartache and loneliness!
Women around the world are experiencing breakthroughs in their lives they never anticipated!
They are attracting great men into their lives!
They are no longer settling for less than they deserve!
And some are planning their weddings!
There is absolutely no reason for you to spend one more Valentine’s Day wishing you finally had the love your heart desires.
Take a step today toward making your dreams come true by allowing us to guide you on your Love Journey.
Are you tired of attracting the wrong man into your life?
Does it feel as if you keep dating the same man with a different face, name, and body?
If it seems as if you keep repeating the same patterns and having the same experiences in dating and relationships, you’ll want to tune in and watch this video where I answer the question, “How do I stop attracting the wrong man?” which was submitted by one of the viewers who saw our Transformational Tuesday interview, “Getting Ready to Love Again,” with Deborah Deras!*
In this video, I explain what may be causing you to create the same experience over and over again in dating and relationships– even if it’s something you don’t want!
I also walk you through an exercise we do with our clients that helps them to distinguish what some of their Dysfunctional Patterns are so that they can begin to dismantle and deal with them powerfully!
If this video isn’t for you, but you have women in your life who you feel could benefit from the information, please share it with them. There’s nothing more loving you can do than to help another woman break a cycle that is causing her so much frustration and heartache!
After you watch the video, please leave your comments in the Comments section of the blog so that we can continue the conversation!
*P.S. The Transformational Tuesday interview with Deborah Deras received such a great response that we are doing an Encore Presentation tomorrow night, Tuesday, February 10th, at 10:00pm ET. There will be a simultaneous live Twitter Chat where we will answer your questions LIVE as they come in! It’s going to be transformational, informative, fun and FREE!
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