by heartsdesireintl | Jul 30, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
A resounding theme keeps popping up in my Inbox, conversations with clients, and even on TV shows. The theme is courage.
Any time we want to create something new in our lives – whether it’s transitioning to a new career, moving to a new home, or taking on a new goal or lifestyle – there will be fears that come up. And the thought of starting a new relationship or restoring the intimacy in an existing relationship is no exception. In fact, contemplating the possibility of letting love into our lives and hearts can be one of the most terrifying experiences we can have.
Why?
Well, because of our past. Most of us have experienced some type of disappointment and heartache as a result of having allowed ourselves to love someone. Sometimes the pain is a result of a betrayal, of poor timing, having fallen for someone who simply wasn’t right for us, or not having had the knowledge or awareness of how to make things work.
One of the first things we do when we begin working with clients is to help them see how their fears are actually causing them to reject and block the possibility of experiencing love. We do a series of exercises where we help the person identify the fears, resentments, and regrets, and guide her through letting releasing and letting go of them so that she is able to create a space where love is able to flow freely to, through, and from her. If you were on the “Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams” Teleclass, you experienced the power of this exercise for yourself!
It’s only when we release the heaviness of all of disempowering thoughts and negative beliefs from the past that we can feel free to let love in, here and now.
Are you ready to let love in? If so, ask yourself:
- Am I willing to let go of resentment? Is there a person (or persons) in your life who hurt, disappointed and/or betrayed you toward whom you’ve been holding onto the anger, pain, and resentment? Are you willing to let that go?
- Am I willing to face my fears and not allow them to choose for me? Too often, we’re allowing the fear of getting hurt again choose whether or not we’re willing to open up our hearts. Unless we identify the fear as just a thought and not what’s actually happening right now, we will cheat ourselves out of the experience of loving and being loved.
- Am I willing to let go of regrets? Perhaps one of the hardest people to forgive is ourselves. We blame ourselves and make ourselves wrong for having said or done the wrong thing – or for not having said or done the right thing. We punish ourselves by replaying our mistakes over and over again. We create a story that we “deserve” to be alone or unhappy. And we do this to protect ourselves, because as uncomfortable and lonely as it may be, at least we’re not risking our hearts again.
Maybe we did make some mistakes along the way. Perhaps we could have said or done something differently. However, it’s also possible that lessons were learned and that we simply didn’t have the knowledge, skills, and awareness necessary to make different choices.
One of the best ways to gain new knowledge and skills and heighten your level of awareness is to work with a coach. Every time I’ve invested in working with a coach, I have been able to completely transform different areas of my life. Whether it’s been learning how to create a healthier lifestyle, causing breakthroughs in my personal and spiritual life, or creating growth in my business, I can trace the changes and results to my working directly with a coach to help make that happen.
This is why I believe so strongly in the power of coaching and why I’ve opened the doors to a new coaching and mentoring program that is going to provide you with the skills, insights, and practices that are going to help you create the type of relationship your heart desires. I’m not talking about a program where you learn a bunch of cute and fun “dating tips” and strategies for getting a man to fall in love with you.
I’m talking about a partnership where you and I work together to break down the walls that have been stopping you from attracting the love that you want and being to put into practice the skills that will help you create a meaningful, fulfilling, loving, and intimate relationship with a man that lasts for a lifetime.
If you are ready to make a commitment to yourself and do the work that it takes to create new love or restore the love and intimacy that has been lost in your relationship, the Create Your Love Story program will provide you with the support, mentorship, and results you have been searching for.
Don’t allow your fears to stop you from actually living in the relationship you wish, pray and dream of. That dream is in your heart for a reason. You were created to love and be loved.
Now it’s time to get out of your own way and begin to completely transform your life and your experience of dating and relationships.
If you’re ready to begin, I’m ready to work with you! Click here to begin creating your love story today!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 26, 2013 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship
by Gladys Diaz
We have such exciting news to share with you!
As you know, we’ve been sharing a lot about how you can create your own love story and make your dreams come true! (If you weren’t able to join us for the very special call we had on Wednesday, check out the information below regarding this Sunday’s encore call!)
Whether you are single, in a relationship, or married, the fact is that you get to be the author of the love story that is your life! The first, and most important step, however is believing that you can experience the relationship of your dreams.
That’s why we’re so excited about a new project that we’ve been invited to participate in by a very talented photographer and visionary who has experienced the power of the Law of Attraction in her own life!
During a course she took earlier this year, Melisa Caprio learned how powerful Positive Affirmations can be in making goals and dreams a reality.
She wrote her dreams as Affirmations…
…and they started coming true!
Being the generous person she is, she didn’t want to be the only one experiencing these miracles in her life, so she began thinking of a way to help others manifest their own dreams. She came up with the idea of using her love of photography to help people visualize what they wanted to manifest in their lives by creating Postcards that they could then “send” to the Universe!
And this is where YOU come in!
A friend and client of ours shared with Melisa the work Heart’s Desire does and how it helped her to manifest her relationship. Melisa was inspired and has invited us (that means you, too!) to create Postcards from the Universe that affirm what you want to experience in the relationship of your dreams!
If you participated in one of the “Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams” teleclasses, you created some powerful affirmations about the relationship you would like to experience. What better way to declare your intention for having the relationship you’ve always dreamed of than to shout it out to the Universe?!?
Melisa is going to collect your postcards and create an original piece she will be showcasing at an upcoming art gallery opening! The piece will be titled “Heart’s Desires” and will be made up of all of our Postcards to the Universe! Your postcard may even be selected to be included in her upcoming book!
Isn’t this a creative and inspiring idea? Just imagine…all of our affirmations and dreams coming together to create a beautiful and original masterpiece that is all about LOVE!
All you need to do is head over to Melisa’s website and either select an image from her Postcard Gallery or make your own original Postcard using a photograph, drawing, painting (be creative) that depicts your dream relationship! Then, on the back, write a Positive Affirmation that really captures what you want to experience in your relationship, like:
“We are loving, passionate, and generous with one another.”
“We communicate openly and honestly, and trust one another completely.
“We share our lives, our bodies, and our spirits with one another.”
“We celebrate one another’s victories and encourage one another during difficult times.”
These are examples of Gladys’ Positive Affirmations for continuing creating the relationship of her dreams with her husband! Now you want to search within your heart to discover what it is that you want to experience in your dream relationship and put that on the back of your Postcard!
If you were on Wednesday’s “Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams” Teleclass and created a statement affirming what you want to experience in the relationship of your dreams, go to the Postcards to the Universe page and create your postcard now!
If you weren’t on the teleclass, make sure you listen to the encore calls that are being offered this weekend, do the exercises, and write a beautiful Postcard to the Universe.
The directions and additional information about this project can be found on Melisa’s website.
Now, here’s the deal, if you want your Postcard to the Universe to be considered as part of the Heart’s Desire masterpiece, you must submit your Postcard via post mail by Thursday, August 7th! So, don’t wait!
Create the relationship of your dreams, send your Postcard to the Universe…Then, simply enjoy the process of watching it manifest in your life!
Join this life-changing call and begin living the life and love of your dreams!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Photo courtesy of Melisa Caprio, Postcards to the Universe
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 19, 2013 | Communication, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship Advice, Romance, Sex
by Gladys Diaz
Last Sunday, my husband and I celebrated our 13th Wedding Anniversary! To celebrate, he whisked me away for a long weekend at the beach. I have to say that I was like an expectant bride all week long. The idea of having four whole days away, just the two of us, was so exciting! I had butterflies in my stomach, could barely concentrate, and kept imagining what four days of no schedules and interruptions would look like!
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love our boys, I love being a mom, and I love the time we spend together as a family. I also love seeing my husband with the boys, because he’s such a great dad. But, I also want to have time to spend with my husband. I like the idea of being a couple.
Having those days together, walking on the boardwalk, sitting on the shore and listening to the sound of the waves, sharing a romantic meal, making out and making love whenever we wanted – it was like we used to be in the beginning, where everything was new and it was like we were the only 2 people in the world! I learned things about my husband that I never knew in our 14 years together. It was exciting to know that there is still so much to discover about one another!
As mothers, we have a responsibility to our kids, but we’re also women who are wives and lovers. And, while we may not be able to go away with our husbands every weekend, there are ways that we can continue making “we time” a priority.
1. Have regular date nights. Whether it’s once a week or twice a month, make time to spend time alone together, free of distractions and interruptions. Actually designate and schedule the days or nights when you’ll make time to have a date. To make it fun, take turns planning the dates. Some couples even make a game of trying to out-do one another. But, if doing that becomes stressful and not fun, forget about it and read the next tip! The idea is to enjoy the time you’re spending with each other.
2. Keep it simple. If budget is an issue and you can’t afford to get baby sitters and go out often, have a date night in. After putting the kids to bed, make or order in a nice dinner, or share a special desert. Turn off the TV and smart phones, and just be with one another. Play a board game (be creative about how to make it romantic!), build a puzzle together, or do something else that allows you time to talk and connect. And remember to smile and flirt with him! He still likes that!
3. Make it about the two of you. We all live busy lives, so it may be tempting to start talking about bills, the kids, and household decisions that need to be made when we finally get some uninterrupted time together. However, this is also a great time to really connect with one another. Talk about your goals and dreams. Take time to express how grateful you are to have him in your life and give yourself permission to be mushy!
4. Let go of expectations. You may have a certain picture in your mind about what a “perfect romantic date” should be. If you husband plans something that’s not as exciting or romantic as you would have liked, don’t allow your unmet expectations to cheat you out of enjoying your time together. Just receive his time and attention and appreciate the time you have together. You can always plan something different when it’s your turn to plan the date.
5. Stay present. It’s easy to let our minds wander off when we’re not focused on being present. If you find your mind wandering off, take a nice deep breath, allow yourself to see, hear, and feel where you are and what is around you, and bring yourself back to the present. Sometimes, I actually tell myself, “Where am I? I’m in a restaurant. I’m having a great glass of wine. I hear the soft music in the background. I’m sitting across from the man I love!” This helps me to bring myself back to where I really want to be!
6. Get physical. Whether it’s holding hands, making out, or making one of those board games interesting by coming up with your own sexy rules (wink, wink), make time physical touch. Hugging, touching, kissing, and making love are an important part of marriage. It’s what makes a romantic relationship different from a friendship. So definitely make physical touch a part of your “we time” experience.
If the physical side of your relationship has begun to fizzle or one of you is struggling with making physical intimacy part of the relationship again, keep it fun and light. There are card and board games, coupons, and rolling die that include playful activities that are fun and don’t necessarily involve having intercourse. Focus on other types of touch that may feel more comfortable at first, like hand-holding or a back rub. The important thing is to not have the expectation of having sex seem like an obligation for either one of you. The more you begin to connect, the more likely it is that the other types of intimacy will begin to resurface.
Being parents is part of our relationship as husband and wife, but, before there were kids, there was a couple that loved and couldn’t wait to spend time with one another. Being intentional about having “we time” can help us keep the love, laughter, and romance alive in our relationships, which will make us happier parents, too!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 9, 2013 | Dating, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
14 years ago, I got stood up. Why would I want to remember that event of my life? Because it was also the day my life changed forever! And there was no way I could have ever imagined or predicted the turn my life was about to take. And it probably wouldn’t have, had I chosen to stay stuck in the pain and sadness of having a guy I really liked stand me up.
I had been talking to a guy on the phone for a short time, and we’d gone out on one date. Back then, I used to think that going on a date meant you were in a relationship, so I began calling him every day – multiple times a day, leaving him voice messages, and basically asking him out on other dates. I think back now, and I’m a little embarrassed about just how much I was chasing him and trying to get him to like me. I also see now where he was sending me really clear messages that he wasn’t interested in being in a relationship. But, you know what they say about hindsight being 20/20!
He wasn’t a bad guy. He was actually very nice. And while some women would say he wasn’t man enough or courageous enough to tell me that he didn’t want to go out with me, I think he was too nice to want to hurt my feelings, and, since I hadn’t paid attention to the thousands of hints he’d been giving me, he gave me one I couldn’t ignore.
I was heartbroken. I felt so vulnerable. This was the first guy I had dated since I’d lost my first husband, and I felt so hurt and afraid that I’d just end up being alone for the rest of my life. Perhaps that was a bit dramatic, but it’s how I felt.
Thankfully, my best friend loved me too much to see me moping around, and she said we were going dancing that night. Now, I was 28 and had never been to a club, and I was not about to go to a bar to meet men! But I love dancing (and she knew that), so we made plans to go out that night.
We got lost on the way there, and I kept thinking, “Maybe this is a sign… We should just go home.” I was so afraid to be this far out of my comfort zone! But, eventually we did find the place. As soon as I walked in and sat at the bar, I noticed a really cute guy standing by the DJ booth. He was moving his head to the music and looked so relaxed. I remember thinking, “I hope he asks me to dance.”
Well, he didn’t. But a bunch of other guys did, so I had a great time, dancing, smiling, flirting, and just being me! I wasn’t trying to meet anyone. I really didn’t want to meet anyone. I just wanted to have fun… And I wanted that cute guy to ask me to dance. But he didn’t!
When we were about to leave, I saw him standing diagonally across the dance floor from me. I told my friend, “I wish that guy had asked me to dance!”
Just then, he looked right at me. I didn’t know what else to do, so I smiled. He smiled back and gestured with his head that I should come on over to him.
What???
I gestured with my head that he should come on over to me. Then I turned around. It was 2:00 a.m., my feet hurt, and I was not in the mood to play games!
As we got ready to go, my friend’s eyes started getting really big.
“Oh, my goodness! Is he standing behind me?”
She nodded yes.
I turned around and smiled, and he introduced himself to me. We talked for a bit, and, when he told me he was only 24, I walked over to my friend and said, “Forget it. He’s a kid.”
Again, my beautiful friend saved me from myself when she said, “Get back over there right now. I haven’t seen you smiling and laughing like that in at least a year!”
So, I walked back over to him and we talked and danced for another 2 hours before my friend said we needed to go. I gave him my number and fell asleep with a smile on my face, thinking about how much I hoped he’d really call.
He did!
We spoke for 7 hours on the phone the next night. Went on our first date the following night, and saw each other almost every day after that. Six months later he asked me to marry him. Almost a year to the day we met, we joined our lives forever. And it’s been the most wonderful 14 years of my life!
So, what lessons did I learn that night?
- Many times, something that seems painful and undesirable can be a wonderfully sweet blessing in disguise.
- Surround yourself with friends who love and want you to be happy and who will stand for you when you don’t feel strong enough to stand for yourself.
- Just because you haven’t met him yet, doesn’t mean you won’t. And you may meet him when and where you least expect it!
- Believe that true love is possible and that it is possible for YOU!
If you want to hear more of the lessons I’ve learned about how to create the relationship of your dreams, then you’ll want to join me on Wednesday, July 17th, for a free 90-minute “Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams” Training Call where I’ll share how you can begin creating the relationship you’ve always dreamed of! Just send me an email (gladys@heartsdesireintl.com) and I’ll send you the information regarding how you can join the call!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 4, 2013 | Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
How do I know if he’s “The One?”
Talk about The Million-Dollar Question! This is probably one of the most common questions I get from women and men alike! Frankly, I don’t think there is a person out there – single or otherwise – who hasn’t asked him- or herself how they’ll know if they are choosing the right person to love.
Why? Well, it goes beyond inquiring minds wanting to know. It’s more about beating hearts wanting to stay “safe.”
Whether we’re talking about health issues, making business decisions, and, in this case, deciding with whom we’ll choose to share our lives, we want to know that we are making “the right choice.” We want to be sure that, if we’re going to open our hearts to someone else, there will be some type of guarantee that he will love us in return, that we won’t get hurt, and that we won’t wake up one day wondering what happened and regretting having made that choice.
The truth is that there simply aren’t any guarantees when it comes to love. The only reason this is true is because being in a relationship involves two people, and you can only control what one of those people does: namely, you. There’s no way to control what the person on the other side of the relationship will do or say, the choices he will make, and whether or not he will honor the promises he’s made. And this terrifies us.
For many, this seems like it’s simply too risky, and they’ll choose to hold back, play it safe, and, unfortunately, miss out on the experience of loving and being loved. And, I’ll tell you, as big as the risks may seem, the benefits of being in a happy, loving, fulfilling relationship far outweigh the risks! But you’ve got to be willing to take the risk!
So, how do you know if he’s the one? The answer to that begins and ends with YOU!
Here are some questions you can ask yourself when determining whether the guy you’re with is the right one for you.
- What do I want? Are you so clear about what you want to experience in a relationship that you will know when you’re experiencing it and when you’re not? Only you can know when something feels right for you, so make sure you know what it is that you want so that you don’t settle for what you think you can get. Get really clear about what you want so that you can create that with the man who you choose to be your One.
- How do I feel when I’m with him? Too many times, when we’re dating or in a relationship, we’re either somewhere in the past (trying to avoid or recreate something) or we’re in the future (imagining what it could be like). The problem is that, when you’re not here, in the present, you miss red flags, positive signs, and experiences that, were you present, you’d be able to recognize and use that information to determine whether or not this is the person with whom you’d like to share your life. Check in and ask yourself how you feel.
- Do I feel safe, loved, and special?
- Do I feel like he includes me in his life?
- Do I feel connected to him on an emotional and spiritual level, or is the only time I feel connected when we’re being physically intimate?
- Who am I when I’m with him (and when I’m not)? Do you feel safe being who you are when you’re with him? Is there a difference between the You you’re being when you’re with him and who your friends and family see? If you (or the people in your life) notice that you’re someone else when you’re with him, it could be that you don’t feel loved and accepted for who you really are. While pretending might be something you can do for a while, it can become exhausting. Plus, you want him to fall in love with YOU, and he can’t do that if you’re not there!
- What are the things I admire and respect about him? Yes, physical attraction is very important when it comes to choosing the person with whom you want to create a relationship. However, it’s also important that you respect and admire him as a man. Think about your values. Does he display the character traits you hold as valuable, such as integrity, honesty, compassion, and courage (or whatever they are for you)?
- Is this someone with whom I see myself sharing the rest of my life? It also helps to this as a choice you are making for life. So ask yourself:
Is this experience – exactly the way it is and exactly the way it is not — with this person – exactly the way he is and exactly the way he is not – one I would like to experience for the next 40, 50, 60 years?
If the answer is yes, then he may be you’re man! If not, maybe you need to take a little bit more time to get to know him. Or, if all the signs are pointing to the fact that you’re not having the type of experience you deserve and desire, it may be time to move on so that you can make room for the man who is going to want to create that experience with you.
Focusing on and tuning in to the only part of the relationship you can control – you – will help you have the clarity to see whether or not the man you’re with is the one you choose to be The One for you!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
