by heartsdesireintl | Jan 27, 2014 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever felt like you are “stuck” in a particular pattern in dating and relationships?
Perhaps you feel like you keep attracting the same type of man into your life. Perhaps you feel like, no matter who you are in relationship with, the same types of issues and arguments seem to come up. Maybe you’re in a dead-end relationship that is going nowhere. Or maybe you feel like you and your partner have pulled so far away from one another there’s just no turning back to the way things used to be when you first fell in love.
Regardless of your particular situation, you probably agree that feeling “stuck” can feel be exhausting and depressing. Being inside of that type of dynamic can feel like it’s no use to try to improve or change things – that what you are experiencing is probably as good as it’s going to get.
The problem with this type of thinking is that it is precisely what is keeping you stuck! The thought that there is nothing you can do to create a shift in yourself that would lead to create a different result is simply born out of fear. Fear of being disappointed.
Let’s say, for example, you continue attracting men who are unavailable. Perhaps the men you tend to attract are either married, in a relationship with someone else, or they’ve been “getting divorced” for some while now. If this happens often enough, you might begin to believe that you’re destined to be alone, that there are no good men out there who are capable of being faithful, and that you will never be able to attract a man with whom you can create a loving, intimate relationship.
Or maybe you are in a long-term relationship where your partner will not take the steps to move the relationship to a more committed level or will not propose. To stay in that relationship, despite the fact that you know how much you want to be married and then blame or make him responsible for not having that in your life that is not only unfair to him (because you are making him responsible for your happiness), but it is unfair to you, because you are cheating yourself out of the opportunity to meet a man who is ready to commit to you forever.
Until you identify and let go of the fears that are creating this situation situation and making you feel like you are stuck there, you will continue to either repeat the same patterns and heartaches over and over again.
While it can feel terrifying sometimes to make a change, you need to ask yourself just how much longer you are willing to suffer the same consequences before you are ready to stand up for yourself and what you want.
The truth is that no one else is going to stand for you until you choose to stand for yourself. You teach people how to treat you. So, when you accept disrespectful or dishonoring behaviors, or settle for less than what you want or deserve, and you don’t put your own happiness and well-being first, then you cannot expect someone else to make you or your happiness a priority. The love you long to experience begins with loving yourself first.
This is why Michelle and I are hosting a 60-minute Q&A session this Wednesday at 9:00pm ET. On this call we will be answering your questions about how you can begin letting go of the patterns and behaviors that are keeping you stuck in your very “uncomfortable comfort zone” so that you can begin to attract the type of love you desire and deserve NOW!
To participate in the call, fill in the registration form on our Events page and we’ll send you an email with the call-in details. If you would like your question answered on the call, simply type in your question in the box provided on the form.
We will be reading and answering your questions LIVE on the call! Please note that you must be on the line in order for us to answer your question during the call. If you’d like to remain anonymous, just let us know what you’d like to be called on the call when you submit your question.
Keep in mind that we are probably going to get a lot of questions, so make sure to send yours in right away!
This is a great opportunity for you to receive coaching from us and to finally break free of the fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that have been holding you back and blocking you from attracting the love you want! You’ll also be able to benefit from listening to the coaching other women receive!
Again, the call will be on Wednesday, January 29th, at 9:00pm ET.
Remember to register and send us your question right away!
We look forward to speaking with you on Wednesday night!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 25, 2013 | breakups, Communication, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
Yesterday was a real exercise for me in being willing to step outside of my comfort zone.
On Wednesday night, I worked into the wee hours of the morning on a big project, and quite frankly did not feel very perky or pretty on Thursday! I was tired and knew I had a long day ahead of me of phone calls, research, and a webinar I was presenting that night.
At about 3:30 in the afternoon I received a call from someone who works at a local TV station saying he needed to speak with me ASAP. I called him back and he wanted to know if I could come to the studio for a segment they were doing about the benefits of online dating. Immediately I said, “Yes, of course.” That’s when he told me I needed to be there in four hours! I thought it was an upcoming interview… Not one happening that night!
I tried to get out of it. I told him I was tired and that I could pack clothes in the bags under my eyes. I also told him I had to lead a webinar at 9:00 and the segment was not airing until 8:30, and that I was sorry, but I couldn’t see how it was going to work.
That’s when he said he’d send a car to pick me up and drop me off so that I would not have drive, that he’d have a makeup artist ready to greet me when I got there, and that he’d arrange for me to have a private conference room with Internet connection so that I could go upstairs after the interview and conduct my webinar.
I thought about cancelling my webinar, but I didn’t want to do that. If this was going to work for me, I needed to be able to have it all!
At that moment, I chose to do what wasn’t comfortable.
I hurried up and finished my work; got ready, dressed and out the door, and let the ladies who’d be attending the webinar know that we might start a few minutes late.
After the webinar, I rushed upstairs, sat in an office that wasn’t my comfy home office, battled with technology to get connected to the Internet, and started the webinar 20 minutes late. Not what I like or what I’m used to.
The webinar, however, went great. The ladies waited patiently for me to get set up and were so understanding about all of the glitches that took place. Everyone participated actively, and the insights they shared at the end of the night reminded me that everything I’d done that day was worth it!
When I got up to put my things away, I looked up and saw the frame that you see as the image on this page. It read:
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
~ Neal Diamond Walsh
So, what about you? Have you been willing to step out of your comfort zone?
Have you set up that online dating profile you’ve been putting off because you feel that online dating is “unnatural” or not your cup of tea, even though it might actually be fun and you might end up meeting the man of your dreams?
Have you started smiling and flirting whenever you’re out, even though it feels “weird” or you’re afraid of being rejected?
Have you chosen to forgive your husband or boyfriend? To let go of any resentments or judgments regarding what he “should” do to make things right between you?
Have you been willing to be open, vulnerable, and allow love to flow in, to, and through you?
If you have, great! I’m excited for you and would love to hear about how you’ve been able to break out of your comfort zone and create some amazing results!
If you haven’t, would you consider stepping out in faith?
Life happens right outside of our comfort zone, and there are miracles just waiting to be manifested and experienced by you!
So, go ahead! I dare you to be happy!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 13, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Today is our birthday!!!
And because we’re so grateful for the gift of another year of life, Michelle and I are feeling really generous and want to give you a gift!
So, in honor of Birthday Week, we are slashing the price of the “From Heartache to Your Heart’s Desires” Telesummit Interview Series Library by 20%! This means that you can get mp3 recordings of all 27 of the interviews with some of the leading experts in dating, relationships, healing, and transformation for the telesummit price of $77!
If you’ve experienced a heartache of any kind — a breakup, divorce, loss of a loved one, having fallen in love with who just wasn’t right for you, or you’re wondering how to heal a present relationship — these interviews will help you break through the the pain and fear of moving forward and begin to experience the life and the love your heart truly desires!
Here is what some of the women who have listened to the interview series are saying:
What an incredible interview with Julie-Anne Shapiro! I loved the part where she encouraged us to visualize our inner child and “provide her with what her heart desires”! That was a huge AHA for me! I was actually able to see the inner child in me…now I think I have an idea of what she desires Thank you again you Gladys Diaz for the incredible messages during the telesummit!!! I am so excited!!! ~ D
Hi Gladys, I just want to thank you for the love, support and wealth of inner personal growth and healing you’ve provided with those priceless presentations on your telesummit. Phenomenal is all I can say. Thank you. ~ G
Gladys, this telesummit has been informative, inspiring and very eye and heart-opening! Thank you for putting it together!!! One of my “ah-ha moments” was learning about how our negative relationship patterns get created during Stefan Gonick’s interview! ~ M
So far, these are all great! You’ve created something really wonderful :)…Thank you! ~ E
Thanks so much for putting all of these tele-interviews together, keep up the good work.
I just felt I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed the talk with Marcy Neumann – wow! Everything she said just echoed so deeply within me, it all made so much sense, I kept taking notes and re-listening to some of the parts. She has so much wisdom to share.
Thank you again.~ L
Click here to purchase the “From Heartache to Your Heart’s Desires” Telesummit Library, for 20% off the regular price now!
Lots of Love,
Michelle & Gladys
“The Twin Love Coaches”
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 4, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
I remember when I used to play on the monkey bars as a little girl. I’m afraid of heights, and the idea of hanging way up high terrified me, but not as much as knowing that, in order to move to the next bar, I had to completely open up one hand, let go of the bar, and move it to the next bar! But I knew that if I didn’t, let go, I’d either be stuck in the same place, or my arms would eventually get too tired, and I’d end up falling off!
The same is true when it comes to relationships. In order to move toward the type of life and love you want to experience, you may need to let go of all of the things that aren’t working until you get to the other side!
“Moving on” from a past relationship or from something that is not working in your life can be much easier said than done. When you love a person and have opened your heart to him, the thought of letting go moving on can be so scary it’s paralyzing! When you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be difficult to open your heart and let love back in, or to do what it takes to turn a relationship into the kind of loving union you dream of. This is what has many women holding on to a man, relationship, or limiting beliefs and behaviors that are clearly not giving them the experience they want for much longer than they need to. It’s also what keeps them stuck, alone, and lonely.
Having the type of love you want – the kind where you know that you know that he loves you, where it feels safe and secure, and where you get to experience love, peace, and joy – the kind of relationship that works means you need to be willing to let go of what doesn’t!
So, what are some of the things you may need to let go of in order to get to the other side — the side where all of your dreams about what life and love can be are waiting for you?
- Pain and resentment from the past: Holding on will keep you angry, bitter, upset, and either alone or lonely inside of a relationship. When you bring forgiveness to yourself and others, you create a space for something new to show up in your life!
- Your checklist of criteria or expectations: Consider that if you’re experiencing that one guy after another (or the man who you’re with) just isn’t “enough,” you may be holding on to a list of insurmountable criteria and expectations that are set up to help protect and keep you from being vulnerable, which is also keeping you from connecting and experiencing intimacy.
- The need to be right: Insisting on your way being the right way; being unwilling to accept, respect, or understand another’s ideas or point of view will keep you stuck in your own righteousness and does not allow for the possibility of intimacy.
- A dead-end relationship: If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, just waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for him to commit or propose to you, you may want to consider that either you’re not clear about what you really want, or you’re holding him responsible for you having what it is you want for your life. It may be time to let go of that relationship and make room for the man who is ready to share and spend his life with you.
If you’re feeling frustrated with the way things are showing up in your love life, perhaps it’s time to take inventory of your life and your relationships and be really honest with yourself.
Is there something that clearly is not working for you that you’re holding on to? Are you ready to finally let go and reach forward—toward the life and love you desire and deserve?
If so…
Take a deep breath and know that you are strong enough, you are worthy enough, and you will survive this. More than anything, know that the life and love your heart desires are already waiting for you!
And if you need support with letting go, know that we are only an email away! We’ll be right there beside you, cheering, encouraging, and holding you up until you get to the other side: The relationship you’ve always dreamed of!
Click here and let’s talk! We’re here for you!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Aug 30, 2013 | breakups, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
“If don’t ask me to marry you, then we need to break up.”
“If we don’t go to counseling, it’s over.”
“If you really loved me, you would…”
Ultimatums.
They give the person extending them a false sense of power. Why is it a false sense of power? Well, think about it. When you tell someone what he needs to do or say in order for you to be happy and have what you want, are you really the one with the power?
No.
You’ve basically handed over the power to have what you want to another person. You’ve made your happiness contingent upon the other person’s choice.
Think of it this way. Let’s say you’ve been dating someone for a long time and, while it’s all nice, the relationship clearly not going anywhere. If you know that in order for you to be happy, you want to be in a committed relationship that ultimately leads to marriage, then you are the one with a choice to make. Not him. Now, you can definitely let him know that you would like to be married, but you wouldn’t tell him that if he wants to stay with you, he needs to want the same thing.
You’d simply say something like, “I’d really like to be married” – not “I’d really like to marry you” or “If you want to stay together, then I need to know that our relationship is leading to marriage.”
The last two statements make your choice hinge upon what he wants. Plus, if he did propose to you because you threatened to leave him, you’d never really know whether he would have chosen to ask you himself. Not because he was afraid of losing you, but because he couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life without you!
In saying, “I’d like to be married,” you are owning your choice and your happiness. The word “you” (meaning him) is not even in that statement, because this is your desire.
The same holds true if you’re in a relationship or marriage. Telling your boyfriend or husband what he needs to do in order for you to be happy is manipulative and inauthentic. It’s a way to separate yourself from your own desires so that you don’t have to be vulnerable and share what you want for yourself.
Saying “We need to go to counseling, or it’s over” rather than “I’d like to go to counseling” is more about instilling fear in the other person. It also sends the message that, unless the other person does something to “fix” or change himself, the relationship simply won’t work. This message of “you need to change or be ‘fixed’” is what has most men resist the idea in the first place. Who the heck wants to go sit in an office with a stranger for an hour and listen to all of the things they’re doing wrong?
Saying “We need to go to counseling” also keeps you from committing to make the changes you can make that would make a difference in the relationship, because you’re hinging your willingness to change on his.
So, rather than throwing around ultimatums and giving away your power, own you power.
Look within and ask yourself what it is that you want. What is it that would make you happy? What have you been settling for and not willing to stand for? Where have you been making another person responsible for your own happiness?
Once you’ve identified those things, then create a simple statement that expresses what you want. Begin it with “I want…,” and make sure the words “you,” “we,” and “us” are nowhere in your statement.
Simply own your desire and embrace the power you have to create what you want in your life and in love!
If you’re ready to own your power and begin working with me to transform your dating life or relationship, simply fill out the new message form that popped up on this page and let’s set up some time time to talk!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 30, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
A resounding theme keeps popping up in my Inbox, conversations with clients, and even on TV shows. The theme is courage.
Any time we want to create something new in our lives – whether it’s transitioning to a new career, moving to a new home, or taking on a new goal or lifestyle – there will be fears that come up. And the thought of starting a new relationship or restoring the intimacy in an existing relationship is no exception. In fact, contemplating the possibility of letting love into our lives and hearts can be one of the most terrifying experiences we can have.
Why?
Well, because of our past. Most of us have experienced some type of disappointment and heartache as a result of having allowed ourselves to love someone. Sometimes the pain is a result of a betrayal, of poor timing, having fallen for someone who simply wasn’t right for us, or not having had the knowledge or awareness of how to make things work.
One of the first things we do when we begin working with clients is to help them see how their fears are actually causing them to reject and block the possibility of experiencing love. We do a series of exercises where we help the person identify the fears, resentments, and regrets, and guide her through letting releasing and letting go of them so that she is able to create a space where love is able to flow freely to, through, and from her. If you were on the “Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams” Teleclass, you experienced the power of this exercise for yourself!
It’s only when we release the heaviness of all of disempowering thoughts and negative beliefs from the past that we can feel free to let love in, here and now.
Are you ready to let love in? If so, ask yourself:
- Am I willing to let go of resentment? Is there a person (or persons) in your life who hurt, disappointed and/or betrayed you toward whom you’ve been holding onto the anger, pain, and resentment? Are you willing to let that go?
- Am I willing to face my fears and not allow them to choose for me? Too often, we’re allowing the fear of getting hurt again choose whether or not we’re willing to open up our hearts. Unless we identify the fear as just a thought and not what’s actually happening right now, we will cheat ourselves out of the experience of loving and being loved.
- Am I willing to let go of regrets? Perhaps one of the hardest people to forgive is ourselves. We blame ourselves and make ourselves wrong for having said or done the wrong thing – or for not having said or done the right thing. We punish ourselves by replaying our mistakes over and over again. We create a story that we “deserve” to be alone or unhappy. And we do this to protect ourselves, because as uncomfortable and lonely as it may be, at least we’re not risking our hearts again.
Maybe we did make some mistakes along the way. Perhaps we could have said or done something differently. However, it’s also possible that lessons were learned and that we simply didn’t have the knowledge, skills, and awareness necessary to make different choices.
One of the best ways to gain new knowledge and skills and heighten your level of awareness is to work with a coach. Every time I’ve invested in working with a coach, I have been able to completely transform different areas of my life. Whether it’s been learning how to create a healthier lifestyle, causing breakthroughs in my personal and spiritual life, or creating growth in my business, I can trace the changes and results to my working directly with a coach to help make that happen.
This is why I believe so strongly in the power of coaching and why I’ve opened the doors to a new coaching and mentoring program that is going to provide you with the skills, insights, and practices that are going to help you create the type of relationship your heart desires. I’m not talking about a program where you learn a bunch of cute and fun “dating tips” and strategies for getting a man to fall in love with you.
I’m talking about a partnership where you and I work together to break down the walls that have been stopping you from attracting the love that you want and being to put into practice the skills that will help you create a meaningful, fulfilling, loving, and intimate relationship with a man that lasts for a lifetime.
If you are ready to make a commitment to yourself and do the work that it takes to create new love or restore the love and intimacy that has been lost in your relationship, the Create Your Love Story program will provide you with the support, mentorship, and results you have been searching for.
Don’t allow your fears to stop you from actually living in the relationship you wish, pray and dream of. That dream is in your heart for a reason. You were created to love and be loved.
Now it’s time to get out of your own way and begin to completely transform your life and your experience of dating and relationships.
If you’re ready to begin, I’m ready to work with you! Click here to begin creating your love story today!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
