Have you ever really wanted to break a habit or pattern you see happening over and over again in your life, but, no matter how hard you try to stop doing it on your own, no matter how many books you read, videos you watch or teleclasses you attend, you still find yourself doing the same things you promised yourself you would not do?
The same thing was true for one of my clients when it came to dating and relationships. I’ll call her Sophia, to protect her privacy.
Sophia didn’t necessarily have trouble attracting men. She would get asked out on dates and, sometimes, on multiple dates by the same guy.
The problem was that it seemed like the men she was attracting weren’t really interested in having committed relationships. They wanted to go out, have fun, and be sexually intimate, but they were not looking to have a committed relationship with her.
While it felt good to be asked out by men, this pattern of attracting men who did not want to have a long-lasting relationship with her made Sophia feel confused, frustrated, and used – especially if the man had said up front that he was looking for someone to be in a relationship, and even more so if she had been sexually intimate with him.
What Sophia discovered while we worked together was that the reason she was continuously finding herself in the same situation was not necessarily because every single man she was dating was not interested in a having a committed relationship.
It was becauseshe had a hidden belief that, if she slept with a man who was showing interest in her, that having that physical connection would somehow ensure that he would want to have more of an emotional connection with her.
What would happen, however, is that she would feel overly attached to the man, begin acting as if they were in a relationship, and subconsciously begin demanding more time, attention, and affection from the man.
What was even more surprising to her was that she also had a hidden belief that the man would eventually disappoint and leave her.
So, subconsciously, she was attracting men who would confirm for her the hidden belief that she would not find a man who would love and accept her without her having to sleep with him, and that, even when she did, he would still leave her.
Now, it’s important to understand that Sophia did not want to continue repeating the same patterns.
In fact, if you asked her, she would tell you the exact opposite of that.
However, because these beliefs were in her subconscious, they were hidden from her – in her blind spot – and she was continuing to attract the same kind of man, take the same actions, and experience the same heartache time and time again.
As we worked together, Sophia began to uncover more of the Love Barriers that were blocking her from attracting and receiving the kind of love she really wanted. As we did the HeartWork to remove those barriers, she began experiencing more success in dating – having more fun, attracting really great men who were interested in possibly having a relationship with her, and finally meeting a wonderful man with whom she is living out the love and life of her dreams.
If you’re like Sophia, and you are tired of trying to stop repeating the same patterns, or, worse, you’ve pretty much given up on finding the kind of love you want, then I want to encourage you and let you know that you, too, can have the kind of loving relationship you want with a man who is going to truly and deeply love you for the rest of his life!
But here’s the deal: You have to be willing to take the steps to uncover the hidden barriers that are in your blind spot, blocking you from attracting and having the relationship of your dreams. Otherwise, the self-sabotage will continue.
Trust me, if you knew what they were and how to stop allowing them to keep you repeating the same painful patterns, you would have already done it.
Sometimes it takes working with someone who can lovingly guide you to see what you haven’t been able to see on your own. Then, once the barriers have been uncovered, we can get to the work of breaking and replacing them with new thought and behavior patterns that will allow you to easily and effortlessly attract the love you desire into your life!
If you’re ready to stop “trying” and you want to really get past this once and for all, I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar next week, and I’d be happy to help you have your love breakthrough!
Remember: You deserve to finally be happy and in love with a man who deserves and desires you! Isn’t that worth doing what it takes to removing whatever’s in the way?
No matter what’s happened in the past, you can break the patterns that have kept you stuck in heartache. Let’s talk and breakthrough those patterns together!
Last week something happened to me that was really scary. I can honestly say that I hadn’t felt that scared in a long time.
I went back and forth about whether or not to share this publicly, but I think it’s important to be real and not give the impression that I’m invincible or that I don’t every have my share of “curve balls” thrown at me.
About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I started noticing a tingling sensation in my left arm, primarily from my elbow to my wrist, and, sometimes my fingertips. I spend a lot of time on my computer, and I’ve had Carpal Tunnel Syndrome a few times, so, when I looked up the symptoms and saw that Carpal Tunnel was a common cause of tingling in the arm, I assumed it was that.
I began to notice that I also felt tingling in my left leg, and then my right leg, in the outer shin area, and didn’t know what to make of that. However, it would come and go, so, while I was a bit concerned, I didn’t make a big deal about it.
Last Tuesday, however, I felt tingling and numbness on my face, neck, down my left arm and leg. After a few hours, I began to get concerned, so I went to Urgent Care. They recommended I go to the ER, and they proceeded to do various tests, scans, and MRIs, and recommended I stay overnight.
As I was laying down for them to conduct the CAT Scan, I began to worry.
What if this is something serious?
Why do they keep talking about “a stroke”?
Will I be able to take care of my children?
How will this impact my marriage?
What about my clients?
These thoughts were running through my head all at once, and I really had to do the work that we teach our clients to separate facts from fears, because the truth is that our mind will usually envision and play out the worst possible scenarios, and my mind, left to its own devices, is no exception!
So, I was being intentional, moment by moment, to not allow my fears to take over or take me down the slippery mental slope of imagining the very worst.
As I was going through all of this, I got really present to the fact that I truly want to LIVE!
I don’t just want to exist or survive.
I want to LIVE.
I want to LOVE.
I want to GIVE myself fully to my family and to this world and do the work that I know I was born to do as a woman, wife, mother, and coach.
And, naturally, I started thinking about you.
I literally said to God,
“Lord, there is still so much I feel I need to do.
What about all of the women who still haven’t met the love of their lives?
What about the women who are feeling sad and lonely in their relationships?
Please, allow me the opportunity to do the work You’ve called me to do.”
And, once I prayed that prayer, there was a peace that came over me. I can’t explain it. In that moment, I just KNEW with every fiber of my being that everything was going to be okay.
I still don’t know what caused the episode or why I still have some tingling in my arms and legs. However, I am working with a doctor to find out exactly what is going on and what to do to turn it around.
Why? Because I don’t want to pretend to the know the answers when I don’t, and I’m also not going to wait and see if things “fix” themselves on their own. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to heal anything that is out of alignment in my body so that I can continue living, loving, carrying out my mission, and making my dreams and other women’s dreams come true!
What about you?
I don’t know what curve balls life has thrown at you.
I don’t know what heartache or pain or fear you are experiencing right now.
But here is what I do know:
If you have a dream in your heart of living in a happy, loving, intimate relationship where you are loved and desired by a man who wants nothing more than to help make your dreams come true and you are not in that relationship yet, then part of my life’s mission is helping you create that relationship.
I know it can be scary when you’re not sure why things are going the way they are going and you don’t have all the answers you need to begin turning your love life around.
My invitation is that you not allow those fears to paralyze and take you out of the game. Don’t allow them to make you wonder if your dream is possible. IT IS!
And, if you don’t have the answers, then it’s time to begin working with someone who does – someone who can help you see what’s been getting in the way of attracting and having the love you want and who can help give you the exact steps you can take to begin transforming yourself and your love life so that you can finally experience the loving relationship your heart desires.
You deserve all the happiness and love your heart longs for. You truly do.
Believe it!
And if I can help you create it, thenwrite to me or leave me a comment and let me know how I can serve and support you, because you, your dreams, and your happiness matter to me!
I don’t know if you’re anything like me, but, when I feel there is a problem, I like to do anything I can to resolve it as quickly as possible.
This problem-solving skill serves me well when it comes to helping my clients get through difficult situations in their love lives and relationships. It’s also served me well as a businesswoman.
It doesn’t, however, always serve me well when it comes to my relationship with my husband.
See, what many women don’t realize is that while women’s brains are wired to almost instantaneously think, feel, and say what we are thinking and feeling, men’s brains are not. In fact, the female brain has 7 areas that connect feelings, emotions and words, while the male brain has 2 areas that are wired in this manner.
Now, that doesn’t mean that woman are any better or smarter than men. Our brains are wired differently for a reason.
Think about it… Men, at their origin, were hunters. If they did not kill the prey, the entire tribe would go hungry and die. They had to have laser-like focus. Feelings and emotions could not cloud their judgment. They had to think about one thing and one thing alone: getting food for the tribe.
The reason it’s important to know and understand this is because, if you’re like many women, when there is an issue concerning your relationship, you want to “talk” about it, and you want him to want to talk about them NOW!
Your man, on the other hand, may not want or be able to talk about it right at this moment, and, again, if you’re like many women, you may find yourself making this mean something about him and how he feels about the relationship.
For example, you may think to yourself:
If he really cared about me or us, he’d want to resolve this as soon as possible.
He obviously cares more about his work (or whatever he is doing) than me.
This relationship is clearly not a priority for him. Otherwise he would drop what he was doing and deal with this NOW.
Sound familiar?
I know it does to me!
In the past, when there was a problem in our relationship, I would want to discuss it, right here, right now, and then be shocked when my husband would say, “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
Then things would go something like this:
Me: (In my head) What? Doesn’t he see how important this is? Clearly he doesn’t see how important this is!
Me: (Out of my mouth) But we need to discuss this. It’s important.
Him: I get that it’s important, but I don’t want to talk about it right now.
Me: (In my head) I can’t believe he doesn’t care about us!
Then I would proceed to keep emphasizing how important this was and how we needed to talk and how it couldn’t wait, and (you get the picture)… until, finally, he would blow up at me and storm out of the room, and then I’d really feel as if he didn’t care!
And that would lead to hours (and, sometimes, days) of stone-cold silence, anger, and unnecessary pain – for both of us.
The truth is that he did care. He does care. (And so does your guy!)
What happens, is that men need a little more time to process the information, especially when a slew of emotionally-charged information is being thrown at them.
What’s happening when your guy is not ready to talk about something is that he is processing the information he’s been given, or he is focused on something else that is important (not necessarily “more important” than you, which is what you may be making it mean), and he needs some time to process and get his thoughts together so that he can focus on the issue at hand before he can talk about it.
So, what do you do when there is something you want to discuss and your guy isn’t ready to talk right now?
1. Respect his preference.
I know it’s hard. This one can still be hard for me. Even this past weekend, my husband had to repeat to me that he didn’t want to talk about something before I could hear him. In the past, I would get upset because I felt ignored and uncared for. Now, I get that when he’s saying he doesn’t want to talk and I keep pressuring him to talk, he’s also feeling ignored and unheard, and this means that any conversation that takes place right then and there is probably not going to lead to a resolution.
2. Remind yourself that “not now” does not mean “never.”
One of the reasons I would panic and keep insisting on getting my husband to talk was because I feared that we would “never” discuss it, and that worried me. That fear and anxiety triggered my need to try to control the conversation (and him), which just led to him resisting the conversation (and me) even more. Now I remind myself that “not now” actually means “later,” not never, which helps me to calm down, step back, and allow both of us space to calm down and gather our thoughts so that, when we do talk, it leads to a win-win for us.
I will also say something like, “I understand that you don’t want to talk right now, and I respect that. Please know that I’m here when you’re ready to talk.” Sometimes we’ll even set a time to talk (after the kids go to bed, for example) so that we know that the conversation will, indeed happen.
3. Focus on something else.
I’ve found that focusing on something else – like going for a run, reading a book, playing a “mind-numbing” game on my phone, listening to something inspirational, or drawing – help me busy my mind so that I’m not hyper-focused on when the conversation will happen or what it will be like. By taking care of myself and my needs, I can control the only side of things that is ever mine to control: me. This allows me to relax, feel empowered, and not come from an emotionally-charged place when we finally do have the conversation.
4. Talk to someoneelse.
Talking to someone else – a girlfriend, sister, or your relationship coach – is also a great way to sort and work through your thoughts and feelings before speaking with your guy. Now, I will add a caveat here. It’s important that you be very selective when you choose who you are going to talk to about your relationship. Make sure that it is someone who is standing for your relationship to work, not someone who is going to bash your guy, take your side, or give you relationship or communication advice that is not for your highest good. If your friend is not in a happy, loving relationship, she may not be the best person to turn to. You want to share with someone who is going to love and support you and have you show up in your best light. This is where having a good relationship coach can make all the difference.
Otherwise, you’ll just be getting “advice,” and advice is usually shared from the other person’s own fears and doubts, as well as her patterns. Coaching, on the other hand provides you with the exact steps you can take to speak with love, be fully in your power, and seeking a win-win solution.That way, when you finally do have the conversation, you are not just talking about something that happened or needs to be resolved, but you are talking for something (resolution, peace, and the highest good for both of you in the relationship).
I know it’s not always easy to hit the “pause” button and not resolve something that is on your heart and mind.Uncertainty can trigger fear and sometimes fear gets the best of us and begin trying to push to try to get something to happen, rather than stepping back and allowing things to come together peacefully and naturally.
However, I promise you that if you follow these 4 steps, not only will that eventual conversation be a lot more peaceful, but you will also feel so much more empowered and connected to your guy when you know that you are coming together at the right time as partners seeking the best outcome, versus “enemies” seeking to prove their own point or get their own “win.” Because, by default, when only one person “wins” in a conversation or argument, the other person must “lose.” And, where there is true partnership, a win-win is always the best outcome.
So…
Take a deep breath…
Take a step back…
Follow these steps…
And reach out to me if you have any questions or want some support regarding having more loving, peaceful, and connected communication with your partner. You can eithersend me an emailorclick here to schedule time to talk.
It’s been over three weeks since The Irresistible Woman LIVE Event took place and there is still not a single day that goes by that Michelle and I do not receive an email, a text message, or a post in our Facebook group of someone sharing a new breakthrough, miracle, or manifestation that has occurred in her life as a result of having attended the event!
Here’s the fascinating thing. The event was only three days long, yet women are sharing life-altering changes. For example (and I am using intitials because these breakthroughs were shared in a private group:
C has experienced major breakthroughs in the ares of finances, her improv acting experiences, and in the attention she is receiving from a really high-quality man!
D is experiencing a whole new level of fulfillment in her relationship with her amazing boyfriend (who she met while participating in our Ready to Love Again Program!), in her career, and in her relationships with others. In fact, her friends and family are commenting on how happy and full of life and love she is!
Z. is finally pain-free after dealing with excruciating and chronic back and shoulder pain that doctors had been unable to diagnose and treat for over 2 years! And she had a wonderful trip with her family where she felt able to trust her husband and watched as he truly stepped up and made her feel safe, secure, and worry-free, in spite of some very unexpected and sometimes difficult situations they faced during the trip.
P. and her husband are completely falling in love with one another again. There is more love, communication and romance in their marriage (they even had a wonderful date night the other night!)
L. had a fantastic first date with a wonderful man is excited about dating again!
Y. was able to confidently and respectfully walk away from a dating experience that made her feel uncomfortable and did not match the experience she wants to have in a relationship.
So, what is it that allows this kind of shift to take place after an event that was only a few days long?
It’s the process we take women through in our events and programs that have them move from “receiving information” to “Creating Transformation.”
See, there is an overwhelming amount of information out there. You know there is.
You’ve read the books.
You’ve listened to the podcasts.
You’ve watched the videos.
You’ve even taken courses.
But, despite all of this information, you still feel stuck and continue repeating old patterns that keep you in a cycle of heartache.
You still can’t let go of your ex and move forward.
You still keep attracting the wrong kind of man into your life.
You still continue arguing with your partner about the same things.
You still feel frustrated and stuck and, at times, hopeless.
If all it took to create a real and permanent shift was information, or even having a powerful insight, you would have already made the changes you know you need to make.
However, it takes more than good information or content, or even a really powerful “a-ha” moment to take what you are learning and seeing about yourself and create a truly permanent change.
In our work, we help you not only distinguish and work through the fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that are creating dysfunctional patterns in your life and love life. We also teach you how to replacethose Love Barriers with new and empowering thoughts, actions, and attitudes that allow you to create permanent, life-altering transformation in your life!
If you’re ready to learn more about this, check out the quick video I shot for you on Friday and then hit “reply” to this email and answer the 2 questions I ask you at the end of the video.
I will personally be reading and responding to each of the emails and I will be opening up a few spots on my calendar specifically to help you create your own Love Breakthrough Action Plan on a Love Breakthrough Session.
Obviously, there are not enough slots in my calendar to speak personally to all of the thousands of women who will be reading this email. However, I know that the truly committed women will watch the video, reply to this email, and be open to receiving your next best steps to create a true transformation in your love life.
If that is YOU, and you are READY to create true and permanent change in your life, and you are ready to do what it takes to make the necessary changes to create your own personal transformation, then all you have to do is:
Watchthevideo.
Click reply and answer the 2 questions I ask at the end of the video.
Get ready to create a TRUE TRANSFORMATION in your love life!
Remember:
Creating a true and permanent transformation does not have to be “hard.” It can be easy and effortless when you know exactly what steps you need to take and you have guidance from someone who can help you create the results you want. Let’s do this together!
Watch the video know and reply to send me your responses!
I can’t wait to read them and write back to you!
Remember:
Creating a true and permanent transformation does not have to be “hard.” It can be easy and effortless when you know exactly what steps you need to take and you have guidance from someone who can help you create the results you want. Let’s do this together!
Watch the video know and reply to send me your responses!
I don’t know if you’re aware of it, because these things are usually going on in the subconscious, as blind spots, but there are things that you are telling yourself that are actually stopping you from having the love you want.
The frustrating part about it is that, because you’re not aware that they are lies, you actually believe them. To you, they are the truth! And, unfortunately, these are the very thoughts and words that are keeping you stuck in your love life!
I shot a really quick raw-and-real, tough love video, and I hope you’ll give yourself a few minutes to watch it because this could actually transform your life as you know it!
Most people in your life won’t tell you what I’m telling you in this video. In fact, many of them are agreeing with you and helping you to continue believing the lies. So, it’s with an incredible amount of love that I want to share this with you, because I see you bigger than any thought or fear or excuse you may have! To me you are amazing and you deserve everything your heart desires!
Watch the video and tell me what you think!
P.S. You really can get unstuck and it doesn’t have to be hard. Simply stop believing the lies I talk about in this video and trust me! We can get to the other side of this together!
There’s a real problem affecting women – especially smart, successful women like you – and it pushes good men away.
See, there’s something that many powerful women don’t realize that they are doing to self-sabotage their relationships. And the energy being given off by doing this is like “relationship kryptonite”!
What is it?
It’s leaking masculine energy in the form of control!
Now, before you bounce off the page or get triggered, let me explain, because, if you’re not in a happy, intimate relationship right now, and you knew you could learn what you can stop doing to sabotage your love life and happiness, isn’t that worth just a few minutes of your time?
Here’s the deal.
More than anything, a good man – the kind of man who is interested in loving, supporting, and spending his life with an amazing woman like you – wants one thing more than anything else. (And, no, it’s not sex!)
See, one of a good man’s greatest superpowers is his need to make the woman that he cares about happy. Honestly, it’s like a drug he can’t get enough of when he sees that you are smiling and he knows that hehad something to do with the smile on your face!
Now, perhaps you don’t believe me, especially if this hasn’t been your experience with men – or the man you’re with.
However, consider that there may be somethings you’re doing to either attract the kind of man who isn’t interested in making you happy, or you may subconsciously and unintentionally saying and doing things that stop him from being able to make you happy.
It’s true. Many of the things you are doing to kill a man’s desire to make you happy are happening subconsciously.
This means you’re not even aware of what you’re doing to self-sabotage your relationships!
And that’s why, unless you learn exactly what is pushing away a man’s desire to be with and please you, it’s virtually impossible for you to stop doing it so that you can turn things around in your love life and have the kind of relationship you really want!
Thesubconscious ways women sabotagetheir romantic relationships and what to do instead
Thekey steps you can take to remain in your powerand still get the love you want
Theeffortless ways you can draw a man, his attention and affection to youso that you can feel deeply connected to him
As a smart, successful woman, you know that getting what you want means, not only knowing exactly what to do, but how to get it in the easiest, most effective way! And that’s exactly what I’m going to teach you on this online class, so make sure you grab your spot now!
You can’t change something you can’t see. If you’re not in the happy, loving relationship you truly want, and you want to learn the fastest, most effortless way to have that, make sure you join us for this online class!
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