by heartsdesireintl | Jan 27, 2014 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever felt like you are “stuck” in a particular pattern in dating and relationships?
Perhaps you feel like you keep attracting the same type of man into your life. Perhaps you feel like, no matter who you are in relationship with, the same types of issues and arguments seem to come up. Maybe you’re in a dead-end relationship that is going nowhere. Or maybe you feel like you and your partner have pulled so far away from one another there’s just no turning back to the way things used to be when you first fell in love.
Regardless of your particular situation, you probably agree that feeling “stuck” can feel be exhausting and depressing. Being inside of that type of dynamic can feel like it’s no use to try to improve or change things – that what you are experiencing is probably as good as it’s going to get.
The problem with this type of thinking is that it is precisely what is keeping you stuck! The thought that there is nothing you can do to create a shift in yourself that would lead to create a different result is simply born out of fear. Fear of being disappointed.
Let’s say, for example, you continue attracting men who are unavailable. Perhaps the men you tend to attract are either married, in a relationship with someone else, or they’ve been “getting divorced” for some while now. If this happens often enough, you might begin to believe that you’re destined to be alone, that there are no good men out there who are capable of being faithful, and that you will never be able to attract a man with whom you can create a loving, intimate relationship.
Or maybe you are in a long-term relationship where your partner will not take the steps to move the relationship to a more committed level or will not propose. To stay in that relationship, despite the fact that you know how much you want to be married and then blame or make him responsible for not having that in your life that is not only unfair to him (because you are making him responsible for your happiness), but it is unfair to you, because you are cheating yourself out of the opportunity to meet a man who is ready to commit to you forever.
Until you identify and let go of the fears that are creating this situation situation and making you feel like you are stuck there, you will continue to either repeat the same patterns and heartaches over and over again.
While it can feel terrifying sometimes to make a change, you need to ask yourself just how much longer you are willing to suffer the same consequences before you are ready to stand up for yourself and what you want.
The truth is that no one else is going to stand for you until you choose to stand for yourself. You teach people how to treat you. So, when you accept disrespectful or dishonoring behaviors, or settle for less than what you want or deserve, and you don’t put your own happiness and well-being first, then you cannot expect someone else to make you or your happiness a priority. The love you long to experience begins with loving yourself first.
This is why Michelle and I are hosting a 60-minute Q&A session this Wednesday at 9:00pm ET. On this call we will be answering your questions about how you can begin letting go of the patterns and behaviors that are keeping you stuck in your very “uncomfortable comfort zone” so that you can begin to attract the type of love you desire and deserve NOW!
To participate in the call, fill in the registration form on our Events page and we’ll send you an email with the call-in details. If you would like your question answered on the call, simply type in your question in the box provided on the form.
We will be reading and answering your questions LIVE on the call! Please note that you must be on the line in order for us to answer your question during the call. If you’d like to remain anonymous, just let us know what you’d like to be called on the call when you submit your question.
Keep in mind that we are probably going to get a lot of questions, so make sure to send yours in right away!
This is a great opportunity for you to receive coaching from us and to finally break free of the fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that have been holding you back and blocking you from attracting the love you want! You’ll also be able to benefit from listening to the coaching other women receive!
Again, the call will be on Wednesday, January 29th, at 9:00pm ET.
Remember to register and send us your question right away!
We look forward to speaking with you on Wednesday night!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Dec 9, 2013 | Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Relationship Advice, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
Loneliness can be a difficult feeling to be with, especially during the holidays.
There’s a difference, however, between spending time alone and feeling lonely. It can be nice when you have time and space to yourself (Those of us with kids know what a rare luxury that can be!). Alone time can feel comforting. It can be relaxing to focus on yourself; do what you want when you want to do it; reflect, plan and dream.
But loneliness is another feeling altogether.
Loneliness can feel empty, painful, and depressing. During times of loneliness, we can mistakenly feel as if there is no one out there who thinks about, cares for, and loves us – even if we are completely surrounded by people who continuously let us know that we are, indeed, not alone.
Loneliness when you’re single can be difficult, particularly during the holidays. There are parties and gatherings to attend, there’s a feeling of wanting to share these moments with someone else – someone other than family and platonic friends. And then there’s the thought of the upcoming New Year (not to mention that midnight kiss on New Year’s Eve).
Loneliness when you are in a relationship can feel just has empty and painful. Knowing that there is someone with whom you could be sharing those moments, but, because of distance – whether that’s physical or emotional – you’re unable (or he’s unwilling) to, can be heartbreaking.
So, what can you do when you’re feeling lonely?
- Focus on the people in your life who love you.
I’m not talking about “kidding yourself,” just to make yourself feel better. I’m talking about really taking stock of the people who truly love you and are there for you . Even though it’s not the romantic type of love that your heart desires, it’s important to acknowledge, accept, and appreciate the love that is already surrounding you so that you can be ready to welcome more in!
One of the keys to receiving more of what you want is to be grateful for what you already have, so take the time to notice the love that is already there, and let the people in your life know that you love them, too!
If you’re feeling lonely inside of a relationship, take some time to think about what you can do to shift the tide. It’s going to take some vulnerability to make the first move and let down your guard, but if you really want things to change, you’ve got to be willing to take the risk. And, many times, the other person has been doing the same thing you have – waiting for you to make the first move – and all they need is a signal to know it’s safe to start growing closer again.
Sometimes, the reason certain people are not in our lives has less to do with physical distance and more to do with emotional distance caused by resentment and the unwillingness to forgive.
Forgiveness does not mean that you are condone or approve of whatever the person did to hurt you. It just means you’re no longer willing to allow that situation to cause you anger and pain or to keep you from the ones you love.
If what happened is too painful for you to allow the person back into your life, you don’t have to. But, at the very least, forgive them in your heart and make room for love to fill the space the resentment has been taking up. If you were the one responsible for the transgression, consider gathering the courage to apologize. It’s no guarantee that the other person will allow you back into his/her life, but at least you will have cleared the space for that possibility.
- Make plans with the people with whom you’d like to spend time.
Waiting for people to invite you to go out or attend an event may result in you spending more time than you would like to alone. It may also be a matter of pride and not being willing to be vulnerable enough to let people know that you’d like to spend time with them. If you know there are people in your life with whom you’d like to spend some time, call them up, invite them out or to a party you’re hosting or would like to attend, or just to have a cup of coffee and catch up with them. You’re the one responsible for your happiness, so avoid staying home alone to prove just how lonely you are!
Reach out, connect with, and let the people in your life know that you love them, too!
And, if the people you reach out already have other plans, remember not to take it personally. Instead, schedule time together after the holidays. It will give you something to look forward to!
- Spend time taking care of others.
One of the most fulfilling ways to release feelings of sadness and loneliness is to care for others. Whether you volunteer to serve meals, collect or hand out presents, or visit people in the hospital or a nursing home, you will come away recognizing just how blessed you already are.
Giving love is another wonderful way to attract love – since like attracts like – so look for ways to give the gift of love to someone who may need it now more than ever!
- Fill your alone time doing things you love.
Even if you begin connecting and reconnecting with the people in your life, it’s likely that there are times when you are alone. Remember that alone time can be good for you, allowing you to pamper yourself and replenish your mind, body and spirit. So, make sure you’re doing at least one or two things a day that are just for you. Make a list of the things you enjoy doing, that relax you, and that make you feel loved and alive!
Giving love to others is one way to attract love, but so is loving ourselves!
For those of you who live in South Florida, a great way to connect with other amazing women is happening this Thursday, December 12th, at the South Florida Women’s Expo! Michelle and I will be talking about how to have it ALL in life AND love. And, not only will there be lots of great food, drinks, and shopping opportunities, but there will also be several women’s organizations and activities represented, and you may find one you’d in which you’d like to participate!
Loneliness can be difficult, especially during the holidays, but if you make this season a reason to reach out to and connect with others, you will come away feeling more love – and more loved – than you if you choose to spend it alone.
And, remember, the more love you give and receive, the more you will attract into your life!
If you have an idea for overcoming loneliness, especially during the holidays, please leave it below! We’d love to hear and share it!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 13, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Today is our birthday!!!
And because we’re so grateful for the gift of another year of life, Michelle and I are feeling really generous and want to give you a gift!
So, in honor of Birthday Week, we are slashing the price of the “From Heartache to Your Heart’s Desires” Telesummit Interview Series Library by 20%! This means that you can get mp3 recordings of all 27 of the interviews with some of the leading experts in dating, relationships, healing, and transformation for the telesummit price of $77!
If you’ve experienced a heartache of any kind — a breakup, divorce, loss of a loved one, having fallen in love with who just wasn’t right for you, or you’re wondering how to heal a present relationship — these interviews will help you break through the the pain and fear of moving forward and begin to experience the life and the love your heart truly desires!
Here is what some of the women who have listened to the interview series are saying:
What an incredible interview with Julie-Anne Shapiro! I loved the part where she encouraged us to visualize our inner child and “provide her with what her heart desires”! That was a huge AHA for me! I was actually able to see the inner child in me…now I think I have an idea of what she desires Thank you again you Gladys Diaz for the incredible messages during the telesummit!!! I am so excited!!! ~ D
Hi Gladys, I just want to thank you for the love, support and wealth of inner personal growth and healing you’ve provided with those priceless presentations on your telesummit. Phenomenal is all I can say. Thank you. ~ G
Gladys, this telesummit has been informative, inspiring and very eye and heart-opening! Thank you for putting it together!!! One of my “ah-ha moments” was learning about how our negative relationship patterns get created during Stefan Gonick’s interview! ~ M
So far, these are all great! You’ve created something really wonderful :)…Thank you! ~ E
Thanks so much for putting all of these tele-interviews together, keep up the good work.
I just felt I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed the talk with Marcy Neumann – wow! Everything she said just echoed so deeply within me, it all made so much sense, I kept taking notes and re-listening to some of the parts. She has so much wisdom to share.
Thank you again.~ L
Click here to purchase the “From Heartache to Your Heart’s Desires” Telesummit Library, for 20% off the regular price now!
Lots of Love,
Michelle & Gladys
“The Twin Love Coaches”
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 4, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
I remember when I used to play on the monkey bars as a little girl. I’m afraid of heights, and the idea of hanging way up high terrified me, but not as much as knowing that, in order to move to the next bar, I had to completely open up one hand, let go of the bar, and move it to the next bar! But I knew that if I didn’t, let go, I’d either be stuck in the same place, or my arms would eventually get too tired, and I’d end up falling off!
The same is true when it comes to relationships. In order to move toward the type of life and love you want to experience, you may need to let go of all of the things that aren’t working until you get to the other side!
“Moving on” from a past relationship or from something that is not working in your life can be much easier said than done. When you love a person and have opened your heart to him, the thought of letting go moving on can be so scary it’s paralyzing! When you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be difficult to open your heart and let love back in, or to do what it takes to turn a relationship into the kind of loving union you dream of. This is what has many women holding on to a man, relationship, or limiting beliefs and behaviors that are clearly not giving them the experience they want for much longer than they need to. It’s also what keeps them stuck, alone, and lonely.
Having the type of love you want – the kind where you know that you know that he loves you, where it feels safe and secure, and where you get to experience love, peace, and joy – the kind of relationship that works means you need to be willing to let go of what doesn’t!
So, what are some of the things you may need to let go of in order to get to the other side — the side where all of your dreams about what life and love can be are waiting for you?
- Pain and resentment from the past: Holding on will keep you angry, bitter, upset, and either alone or lonely inside of a relationship. When you bring forgiveness to yourself and others, you create a space for something new to show up in your life!
- Your checklist of criteria or expectations: Consider that if you’re experiencing that one guy after another (or the man who you’re with) just isn’t “enough,” you may be holding on to a list of insurmountable criteria and expectations that are set up to help protect and keep you from being vulnerable, which is also keeping you from connecting and experiencing intimacy.
- The need to be right: Insisting on your way being the right way; being unwilling to accept, respect, or understand another’s ideas or point of view will keep you stuck in your own righteousness and does not allow for the possibility of intimacy.
- A dead-end relationship: If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, just waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for him to commit or propose to you, you may want to consider that either you’re not clear about what you really want, or you’re holding him responsible for you having what it is you want for your life. It may be time to let go of that relationship and make room for the man who is ready to share and spend his life with you.
If you’re feeling frustrated with the way things are showing up in your love life, perhaps it’s time to take inventory of your life and your relationships and be really honest with yourself.
Is there something that clearly is not working for you that you’re holding on to? Are you ready to finally let go and reach forward—toward the life and love you desire and deserve?
If so…
Take a deep breath and know that you are strong enough, you are worthy enough, and you will survive this. More than anything, know that the life and love your heart desires are already waiting for you!
And if you need support with letting go, know that we are only an email away! We’ll be right there beside you, cheering, encouraging, and holding you up until you get to the other side: The relationship you’ve always dreamed of!
Click here and let’s talk! We’re here for you!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Sep 20, 2013 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
This week I found myself dealing with many disappointments. I’m usually a pretty positive person, but I have to admit that I had more than a few moments of frustration, sadness, and crying sessions. Working myself through the disappointment took a willingness to just be with the feelings, rather than resisting them; be responsible for the role I’d played in having things turn out the way they did; and courage to dust myself off and pick myself up again! I also discovered that, as disappointing as a situation may be, the lessons learned are part of the journey and that, if I can be open to seeing what those lessons are, I am one step closer to achieving my goals and dreams.
It’s no different when it comes to dating in relationships. Whether you’re disappointed that you’re not attracting the kind of man you’d like to share your life with, or you’re disappointed about the way a conversation with your husband or boyfriend went, it’s how you choose to deal with the disappointment can affect how beneficial the learning experience can be.
So, what are some ways that you can effectively deal with disappointments in relationships?
- Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Trying to resist feeling sad, upset, or disillusioned is futile. As the saying goes: “What your resists persists,” so give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling. The key to getting to the other side of the disappointment, however, is to avoid wrapping yourself in the feeling and staying “stuck” there. Instead, acknowledge what you’re feeling, allow yourself to feel it, and, then let it go. The other day, my sister and I gave each other permission to vent about an issue we were having for 10 minutes. Once those 10 minutes were over, we moved on to seeking solutions! It was great because we didn’t have to go through making one another wrong for feeling how we were feeling or pretending that we weren’t feeling that way, which deepened the intimacy we share.
In a romantic relationship, you may want to give yourself a “time out” before sharing how you are feeling. Why? Because at times, our emotions are super-charged at the moment of disappointment, and we may end up saying or doing something we’re later going to regret, thus adding to the disappointment. So, it’s much better to sort through what it is that you are feeling – perhaps by venting with someone who is not a part of the situation – before choosing to share those feelings with our partner.
- Take responsibility for the role you played in the situation. Whether a mistake was made, something could have been done differently, you said or did something that contributed to the situation, or you fueled the flames by defending your point of view or making the other person wrong, own the role you played in how things turned out. Taking responsibility is not about assigning fault or blame. It’s simply about being willing to acknowledge what you did or said that contributed to the situation. This is important, because, once you take responsibility for the role you played in the situation, you can also take the credit for helping to turn things around! So, rather than defend yourself or assign blame to others, just take responsibility for the part you played so that you can move forward. Which brings us to the next point:
- Avoid staying stuck in the muck. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t enjoy failing, making mistakes, or having things turn out differently than I imagined. I prefer success a whole lot more! However, sometimes, after having experienced a disappointment, it can be difficult to want to try again. We fear having to experience the sting of disappointment again, and this can cause us to want to want to quit and stop trying. The problem, however, is that, until we’re willing to step out of the muck and try again, we’ll never truly know what we’re capable of creating.
So, if you’re disappointed with regard to your experience with dating, revise your online profile, look for another online site that may be more to your liking, and trying out new places and activities where you might meet potential suitors. If you’re disappointed with the level of love and romance in your relationship, do something fun and romantic with or for your partner. And if you feel as if you’re struggling to make your relationship work, reach out a relationship coach or someone you know who can help you see what you may be able to do turn things around. There is always help and there’s always hope!
And throughout all of this, remember that, as painful and uncomfortable as the disappointment may seem, there are life and love lessons to be learned at every moment – each one another stepping stone in your journey. And every time you choose to have the courage to identify what those lessons are and apply them in your life and relationships, you are one step closertoward achieving your dreams and fulfilling your heart’s desires!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 30, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
A resounding theme keeps popping up in my Inbox, conversations with clients, and even on TV shows. The theme is courage.
Any time we want to create something new in our lives – whether it’s transitioning to a new career, moving to a new home, or taking on a new goal or lifestyle – there will be fears that come up. And the thought of starting a new relationship or restoring the intimacy in an existing relationship is no exception. In fact, contemplating the possibility of letting love into our lives and hearts can be one of the most terrifying experiences we can have.
Why?
Well, because of our past. Most of us have experienced some type of disappointment and heartache as a result of having allowed ourselves to love someone. Sometimes the pain is a result of a betrayal, of poor timing, having fallen for someone who simply wasn’t right for us, or not having had the knowledge or awareness of how to make things work.
One of the first things we do when we begin working with clients is to help them see how their fears are actually causing them to reject and block the possibility of experiencing love. We do a series of exercises where we help the person identify the fears, resentments, and regrets, and guide her through letting releasing and letting go of them so that she is able to create a space where love is able to flow freely to, through, and from her. If you were on the “Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams” Teleclass, you experienced the power of this exercise for yourself!
It’s only when we release the heaviness of all of disempowering thoughts and negative beliefs from the past that we can feel free to let love in, here and now.
Are you ready to let love in? If so, ask yourself:
- Am I willing to let go of resentment? Is there a person (or persons) in your life who hurt, disappointed and/or betrayed you toward whom you’ve been holding onto the anger, pain, and resentment? Are you willing to let that go?
- Am I willing to face my fears and not allow them to choose for me? Too often, we’re allowing the fear of getting hurt again choose whether or not we’re willing to open up our hearts. Unless we identify the fear as just a thought and not what’s actually happening right now, we will cheat ourselves out of the experience of loving and being loved.
- Am I willing to let go of regrets? Perhaps one of the hardest people to forgive is ourselves. We blame ourselves and make ourselves wrong for having said or done the wrong thing – or for not having said or done the right thing. We punish ourselves by replaying our mistakes over and over again. We create a story that we “deserve” to be alone or unhappy. And we do this to protect ourselves, because as uncomfortable and lonely as it may be, at least we’re not risking our hearts again.
Maybe we did make some mistakes along the way. Perhaps we could have said or done something differently. However, it’s also possible that lessons were learned and that we simply didn’t have the knowledge, skills, and awareness necessary to make different choices.
One of the best ways to gain new knowledge and skills and heighten your level of awareness is to work with a coach. Every time I’ve invested in working with a coach, I have been able to completely transform different areas of my life. Whether it’s been learning how to create a healthier lifestyle, causing breakthroughs in my personal and spiritual life, or creating growth in my business, I can trace the changes and results to my working directly with a coach to help make that happen.
This is why I believe so strongly in the power of coaching and why I’ve opened the doors to a new coaching and mentoring program that is going to provide you with the skills, insights, and practices that are going to help you create the type of relationship your heart desires. I’m not talking about a program where you learn a bunch of cute and fun “dating tips” and strategies for getting a man to fall in love with you.
I’m talking about a partnership where you and I work together to break down the walls that have been stopping you from attracting the love that you want and being to put into practice the skills that will help you create a meaningful, fulfilling, loving, and intimate relationship with a man that lasts for a lifetime.
If you are ready to make a commitment to yourself and do the work that it takes to create new love or restore the love and intimacy that has been lost in your relationship, the Create Your Love Story program will provide you with the support, mentorship, and results you have been searching for.
Don’t allow your fears to stop you from actually living in the relationship you wish, pray and dream of. That dream is in your heart for a reason. You were created to love and be loved.
Now it’s time to get out of your own way and begin to completely transform your life and your experience of dating and relationships.
If you’re ready to begin, I’m ready to work with you! Click here to begin creating your love story today!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
