Valentine’s Day is just days away, and, while this week can be fun and exciting for those who are in happy, healthy relationships or having a great time dating, it’s generally not the case for people who are feeling lonely.
Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of a relationship that has ended, a love that’s been lost, or of how much a relationship has changed. If you are feeling lonely this Valentine’s Day, there are a few things you can do to help transform this time from one of pain to one of hope and new beginnings.
If you’re single, and you’ve experienced a breakup or some other type of heartache, it can be difficult to work through all of the feelings of loss and pain. In fact, at times, you may feel paralyzed by fear and sadness, terrified to move forward and risk allowing anyone to get that close to you again.
Being stuck in the past only robs you of your ability to experience peace, happiness, and love. Staying stuck is a choice.
If you’re ready to leave the pain and heartache from a previous relationship in the past, join Michelle and me for the “Ready to Love Again” webinar we will be hosting on Thursday, February 13th* . On this free webinar, we will be looking at why it can be difficult to move past a heartbreaking experience and what you can do nowto leave the past and the pain behind so that you can begin stepping into a new future filled with the love and happiness your heart desires and you deserve.
What if you’re feeling lonely and stuck inside of a relationship? Being in a relationship where you feel that you and your partner have begun to drift apart – or worse, that you’re at the point where you’re afraid there is no way to restore the love and intimacy in your relationship – can be frightening and extremely painful. Knowing that there is someone there with whom you used to share love, joy, and intimacy, but who now feels like he’s miles away, even when he’s in the same room, can be heart wrenching.
It’s easy to slip into anger and resentment, blaming him for everything that has gone and continues to go wrong. It can also be tempting to wonder whether it would be easier to just end the relationship once and for all. Of course, that is an option, but, if you love your husband or boyfriend, and you would like to know that you’ve done everything you could to make the relationship work, there are some steps you can take to begin shifting the dynamic in the relationship and restoring the intimacy you once had.
Remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Regardless of what has happened, there was a time where you knew in your heart this was the man with whom you wanted to share your life. Write a list of the things you loved and admired about him. Allow yourself to remember those qualities that made you smile, feel safe, and want to spend every moment you could with him. Then begin to look for evidence of those qualities. Chances are that if you choose to look at him through the eyes of admiration, rather than resentment, you’re likely to find that the man you fell in love with has been there all along.
Express your appreciation for him.
As you begin to gather evidence of those qualities that made you fall in love with him, let him know you notice them. If he does something kind, thoughtful, or chivalrous, thank him. If he goes out of his way to do something for you, thank him. Even if he does something differently than you would have, or if there is the slightest attempt made at pleasing you, thank him. The more gratitude and appreciation you begin to express, the more you let him know that you notice the little things, the more he’ll want to do for you and and the more of a change you’ll begin to experience in your relationship.
Forgive and release resentment.
Holding on to anger and resentment shuts out love and intimacy. It’s simply impossible to feel resentment and love at the same time. While he may have hurt or disappointed you in some way, if you are choosing to stay, you’re going to need to choose to forgive. Otherwise, all you are doing is punishing yourself right along with him. Remember that forgiveness does not mean you are condoning or agreeing with what happened. You’re simply choosing to let go of the pain, anger, and resentment that has been filling the space where love and intimacy used to live.
It can feel difficult taking these first steps, because you feel so vulnerable. However, vulnerability is the key to intimacy, and it’s going to take that and courage to make a real shift in your relationship. If you need support or encouragement to begin, reach out to us and let us know. We’d be happy to help you on the path of restoring the love and intimacy you once shared this Valentine’s Day and beyond!
And, if you’re single, remember to register now for the free “Ready to Love Again” webinarwe’ll be hosting this Thursday, February 13th!
No matter where you are right now in your love life, you cantake the steps now to make this Valentine’s Day the last one you spend alone and feeling lonely!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Over the past several weeks, Michelle and I have been communicating with many of you through email, surveys, and the phone. The other day, during our business meeting, we discussed the information we’ve been receiving, and one thing was very clear:
Some of you are feeling stuck in patterns and you want to learn how to break free!
Here is some of the information we’ve collected from the “Are You Ready for Love?” Survey we sent a couple of weeks ago and the questions we received last week:
Almost 60% of you are struggling with moving on after your last relationship
For the majority of you, it’s been more than 1 year since the break
More than 40% of have not gone out on a date in at least 6 months
71% of you feel they are not attracting men with whom they are compatible
More than 50% of you tend to attract men who are unavailable (married, separated or “getting divorced,” in a relationship with someone else)
60% of you feel that you are successful in almost every area of your life, except relationships
More than 50% of you are sleeping with a man before a commitment has been established
Several of you feel that you’re “stuck” in an on-again-off-again relationship
And the most heart-wrenching statistic for us was learning that –
Almost 70% of you do not believe that you will ever find the love your heart desires!
These statistics are helpful for us, because they let us know what you are dealing with, what you need, and what we can do to support you. And, just to be clear, we can help you and provide you with the support you need. We’ve worked with women all around the world who have broken free of the past and created a brand new future – the one they always dreamed of! If it happened for them, then it CAN happen for you, too!
But here’s the deal, we can’t help you if you don’t reach out. A few of you have taken the initiative to reach out to us and schedule an appointment to follow up on your survey results, to request coaching, and to get a clear picture of how to begin breaking free and creating a shift in your life.
Many of you haven’t.
But you can.
All you need to do is reach out your hand.
Listen, it’s almost Valentine’s Day and, whether you are single or in a relationship, you can make this the best one yet! Because the moment you break free from whatever it is that is making you feel like you’re stuck in dating or in your relationships, your experience of life completely transforms!
So, if you are ready to create a real breakthrough in your life, and you’re interested in having one of us help you break free from whatever is stopping you from attracting the love that you want, we want to invite you to attend the “Ready to Love Again” webinar we are hosting on Thursday, February 13th, at 9:00pm ET.
In this webinar we will discuss:
What makes it difficult to move beyond the heartache of a breakup
The steps you can take to move beyond your heartache and toward a new future
How to begin attracting new love into your life NOW!
To participate, simply click hereto register and we’ll send you an email with the log-in information.
If you’re tired of feeling stuck and you’re ready to break free from the past, then make sure you attend the“Ready to Love Again” webinar on Thursday the 13th!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Michelle and I are still smiling after Thursday night’s Love & Intimacy Resolutions teleconference! What an extraordinary call! There were times during the call that we could actually FEEL the energy shifting — fears, doubts, and regrets being let to, and peace, hope, and loving moving in!
My favorite part of the call was when women began volunteering to share their Love & Intimacy Resolutions with everyone. It takes so much courage and vulnerability to share your heart with one person, and even more to share it in a group!
The emails we’ve been receiving, letting us know how your lives were changed by the call and what is opening up for you inside of this new path you have started have been so moving and inspiring! And thanks to those who have posted your Love & Intimacy Resolutions on our Facebook page!
If you haven’t posted yours yet, please go to our page and post your Love & Intimacy Resolution. Whether you were on the call or not, we’d love to hear what you are creating for yourself and your love life in 2014, so go ahead and post yours, too.
2. Click on the pinned post at the top of the page.
3. Copy the statements below:
“2014 is the year of Love & Intimacy for me! As i am creating the relationship of my dreams, I am being…”
4. Paste the statement into the Comments area of the pinned post and complete it with words that describe the type of relationship you want to experience!
For example, do you want a loving, passionate, fun relationship, where there is trust and compassion? Then you might write something like:
“2014 is the year of Love & Intimacy for me! As i am creating the relationship of my dreams, I am being loving, passionate, intimate, fun, trusting, and compassionate!”
Why? Because, in order to attract that type of relationship, you first need to BE the type of person who will attract someone who is also interested in having that type of relationship!
So, go ahead! Visualize your dream relationship, create it, post your Love & Intimacy Resolution on our Facebook page and begin living it!
If you find that you’re struggling with even being able to visualize what your dream relationship would look like because some of your past is still in the way, then contactus. We’d be happy to help you put the past in the past, where it belongs, so that you can have and begin experiencing the life and love your heart desires!
We look forward to reading your Love & Intimacy Resolution!
P.S. Please remember to “Like” our Facebook pagewhile you are there so that we can be connected!
P.S.S. If you prefer to have your Love & Intimacy Resolution posted anonymously, just email (gladys@heartsdesireintl.com) and I’ll post it for you!
As 2013 comes to an end and we ring in 2014, Michelle and I want to wish you a very Happy New Year!
We know that the end of the year can fill you with a mixture of disappointment at not having accomplished everything you wanted to experience this year, along with excitement about what may be possible in the upcoming one.
identify and bring closure to the fears, resentments and regrets that have kept you from achieving your love and intimacy goals
create and declare what the relationship of your dreams will look like in 2014
identify the steps you need to take to make those dreams come true!
We’re excited about 2014 and all of the magic and miracles that we’re going to create, and we want the same for you!
Imagine what it will feel like on December 31, 2014, when you look back on the Love and Intimacy resolutions you set in January and the happiness you will feel at knowing that not only did keep them, but that the the life and love you’re experiencing are beyond your wildest dreams!
Join us on Thursday, January 9th, and begin making 2014 The Year of Love and Intimacy for YOU!
Date: Thursday, January 9, 2014
Time: 9:00pm ET
Cost: FREE
Call-in Details will be sent shortly after you submit your information here.
Last week in the U.S., as you probably know, we celebrated one of my favorite holidays: Thanksgiving. For a few days, there was a collective focus on the act of taking stock of our blessings and giving thanks for them. Whether or not Thanksgiving is a holiday you celebrate, I hope you took time to think, write about, and/or verbally express thanks for the people, things, and experiences with which you are blessed.
And, while the holiday is officially over, the act of giving thanks is something you can do every day! In giving thanks regularly, you have the power to shift your state of being from one of feeling upset, sad, and disappointed to that feeling happy, fulfilled, and blessed.
It may difficult to believe that something that simple could have the power to transform the way you experience your life, health, wealth, and relationships, but it’s absolutely true!
Last week, I wrote an article about The Transformational Power of Gratitude. Earlier that day, I had the privilege of doing an interview with Michelle Richards-Phillips of GeTVisioned TV to talk about how gratitude can help create more love and peace in our lives and relationships. Of course, I threw in some other dating and relationship tips, as well! This was probably one of my favorite interviews, as I felt such a connection with Michelle as we spoke!
Several of the people who have viewed the episode have let us know that they took on the Gratitude Challenge we gave at the end of the interview and what a difference it is making for them! People are not only experiencing a feeling of gratitude in their lives, but relationships with spouses and family members are being restored!
I hope you’ll take the challenge, too, and experience the transformational power of gratitude in your own life! Click below to watch the episode, and let us know if you’re going to take the Gratitude Challenge, too!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
There are few practices in life that are as transformational as that of giving thanks. There is something miraculous that happens when you make the choice to take your focus off of everything you don’t have, don’t have enough of, or that seems to be “wrong” in your life and shift to making the conscious choice to feel and express gratitude for what you do have. This is especially true when it comes to love and relationships.
There is a quote by Taneo Sands Kumalae that says,
“Energy flows where attention goes.”
There is nothing that can kill love and intimacy more quickly than criticism and sending the message to the other person that he is not doing “enough” to please you. Telling a man he doesn’t call often enough, that he “never” takes you out anymore, or that he’s “always” thinking about himself does not inspire him to want to call, spend time with, or think of you more often. In fact, you’ll probably find that this type of communication will backfire, having him pull away even more.
On the other hand, when you choose to shed light on the things that you like, enjoy, and appreciate – the little things, the big things, and everything in between – chances are very high that the man you are with is going to want to give you even more of that? Why?
Well, it’s pretty simple. If you’re with a good man, one thing is certain: He wants to please you. And letting him know what he’s done to please you will make him want to do that more often!
See, not only does he love seeing that smile on your face, but he absolutely loves knowing that he had something to do with it!
So, the more you often you let him know that you noticed what he did and that you appreciate it, the more often he will want to create that feeling for both of you again, which means you both win!
Now, I’m not talking about simply expressing thanks in order to “get him” to do things for you. That is manipulative and controlling and totally goes against what we teach about how to create a loving, intimate relationship. This is about really allowing yourself to notice what he’s done, feel the gratitude, and then express it to him.
As with most of the things we teach, this takes some level of vulnerability, because you’re letting him know he made a difference for you. This practice can be easy when things are going well in a relationship, but can be a little more difficult when you’re experiencing difficult times. However, it’s impossible to feel both resentment and gratitude at the same time. So, when you make the choice to express gratitude, it’s also likely that the resentment you’ve been holding onto will begin to disappear, which is a gift you give yourself!
I can promise you that if you really take on expressing gratitude to your husband or boyfriend for the week, something magical will happen.
Not only will you begin to experience more peace within, but you will also begin to sense a shift in the dynamic of your relationship.
Why?
Because, now, rather than focusing on (and complaining about) all of the things he’s not doing (or not doing well enough), you will begin noticing just how much you have to be grateful for! Instead of noticing that he left the socks on the floor, or left the toilet seat up, or forgot to pay the phone bill on time, you’ll begin to notice how he made sure he left you enough coffee in the coffee pot, how he always brings in the mail, how he’s working those long hours you complain about because he wants to take care of you, and how he begins to respond to your increased level gratitude! I’m warning you now – Don’t be surprised if he starts surprising you more often!
Will you take “The Gratitude Challenge”?
I’d like to present you with a little challenge.
For the next 7 days, look for three opportunities per day to express thanks to your man. I know, I know, some of you are thinking it will be hard to find one opportunity. Again, I promise you, if you will look for the opportunities, you will see them!
If you’re not in a relationship yet, then I challenge you to express your gratitude to men three times per day. You can choose to thank the same man three times, or thank three different men. Yes, you can choose a family member, but if you really want to stretch yourself, I invite you thank three co-workers, three men you see while running errands, or the cute guy who always holds the door open for you at the gym!
If you play this game full-out, you are going to begin to notice just how much the men in your life want to please and make you happy! See, while you may be benefiting from their compliments, help, or gifts, you are giving them a gift in return: The gift of appreciation. And, if you continue to play the game well after the 7 days have come and gone, you will see just how big a difference a little gratitude can make in all of the areas of your life!
So, will you do it? Will you take the gratitude challenge?
If, so, make sure you let us know below! We can’t wait to hear all about the miraculous changes you’ll begin to see in your life and your relationship!
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