by heartsdesireintl | Feb 12, 2014 | breakups, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
Today’s a pretty special day at Heart’s Desire International… It’s Michelle and Arnie’s 3rd Wedding Anniversary!
For those of you who are not blessed enough to know Michelle and Arnie, I can tell you that they are one of the most inspiring, couples in the world! To see them together is to see what real, unconditional, and extraordinary love looks like! They love and respect one another, are each other’s biggest fans, and accept one another exactly the way they are and exactly the way they are not!
While their relationship isn’t “perfect,” because neither one of them is, either, the love that they share is as close to perfect as it gets!
Now, you may be wondering how Michelle got so “lucky” to end up with such an amazing relationship and marriage? You may think that she’s simply one of the lucky ones who just happened to land an amazing guy without having to go through any type of heartache. And you’d be wrong.
To see her now as a confident, motivational leader who wins one award and recognition after another, and has helped hundreds of women around the world fall in love with themselves and the man of their dreams, you would never guess that just a few years ago she was feeling alone, rejected, and heartbroken.
See, Michelle fell in and got married at a very young age, and her marriage was far from the fairytale romance she lives now. She and her ex-husband did not get along, did not know how to communicate with one another, and, after 13 years of fighting and chipping away at the love they once had, they divorced.
When she began dating again, Michelle will be the first to tell you that she had no idea what she was doing. And because her self-esteem was on the floor and she was looking outside of herself for validation, she dated some pretty bad frogs. At that time, she didn’t honor and love herself, so it was impossible for her to attract a man who would love and cherish her. She tried to create a relationship with men who were clear they did not want to commit, she stayed in dead-end relationships for longer than she should have, and she allowed men to treat her poorly.
It wasn’t until Michelle began practicing the skills we now teach women world-wide that she began to fall in love with herself. She began to realize that she was worthy of love, that she was loveable, and that she could have and deserved the type of happy, peaceful, loving relationship she had always dreamed of.
It wasn’t long before she began enjoying dating because she started attracting some really wonderful men into her life who treated her like the princess she is. She was able to have fun, meet different types of guys and have the really wonderful “problem” of having to choose which of these great guys she wanted to date exclusively! Arnie was one of those guys.
But their love story wasn’t always smooth sailing. While dating, Arnie had moments when he wasn’t sure he wanted to be in a committed relationship, so they would stop seeing each other. But Michelle would not go into a cave and hide until he was ready to tell her that he wanted to be in a relationship with her. She continued dating, attracting more generous, affectionate men of great character into her life, and, when he did come back, she had the choice of whether or not she would let him back into her life and her heart. And she did.
Today, she has the experience of waking up and falling asleep in the arms of the man she loves and who loves her with every part of his being. They laugh, love, grow, and dedicate their lives to empowering people to create the life and love of their dreams!
Michelle can tell this story so much better than I can (and I love hearing it!), so, if you’d like to learn more about how she turned her dating experience from one of pain and tears to one of constant tears of joy, join us tomorrow night, Thursday, February 13th, at 9:00pm ET. We will be offering a FREE webinar called “Ready to Love Again.”
In this webinar, you will learn:
- What makes it difficult to move beyond the heartache of a breakup
- The steps you can take to move beyond your heartache and toward a new future filled with LOVE
- How to begin attracting new love into your life NOW!
Just click here to register!
Michelle’s love story is beautiful, and yours can be, too!
Let’s start writing the first chapter together tomorrow night, at the “Ready to Love Again” webinar!
Congratulations, Michelle and Arnie! And thank you for inspiring us with your love and who you are as individuals and as a power couple!
by heartsdesireintl | Feb 10, 2014 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
Valentine’s Day is just days away, and, while this week can be fun and exciting for those who are in happy, healthy relationships or having a great time dating, it’s generally not the case for people who are feeling lonely.
Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of a relationship that has ended, a love that’s been lost, or of how much a relationship has changed. If you are feeling lonely this Valentine’s Day, there are a few things you can do to help transform this time from one of pain to one of hope and new beginnings.
If you’re single, and you’ve experienced a breakup or some other type of heartache, it can be difficult to work through all of the feelings of loss and pain. In fact, at times, you may feel paralyzed by fear and sadness, terrified to move forward and risk allowing anyone to get that close to you again.
Being stuck in the past only robs you of your ability to experience peace, happiness, and love. Staying stuck is a choice.
If you’re ready to leave the pain and heartache from a previous relationship in the past, join Michelle and me for the “Ready to Love Again” webinar we will be hosting on Thursday, February 13th* . On this free webinar, we will be looking at why it can be difficult to move past a heartbreaking experience and what you can do now to leave the past and the pain behind so that you can begin stepping into a new future filled with the love and happiness your heart desires and you deserve.
What if you’re feeling lonely and stuck inside of a relationship? Being in a relationship where you feel that you and your partner have begun to drift apart – or worse, that you’re at the point where you’re afraid there is no way to restore the love and intimacy in your relationship – can be frightening and extremely painful. Knowing that there is someone there with whom you used to share love, joy, and intimacy, but who now feels like he’s miles away, even when he’s in the same room, can be heart wrenching.
It’s easy to slip into anger and resentment, blaming him for everything that has gone and continues to go wrong. It can also be tempting to wonder whether it would be easier to just end the relationship once and for all. Of course, that is an option, but, if you love your husband or boyfriend, and you would like to know that you’ve done everything you could to make the relationship work, there are some steps you can take to begin shifting the dynamic in the relationship and restoring the intimacy you once had.
Remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Regardless of what has happened, there was a time where you knew in your heart this was the man with whom you wanted to share your life. Write a list of the things you loved and admired about him. Allow yourself to remember those qualities that made you smile, feel safe, and want to spend every moment you could with him. Then begin to look for evidence of those qualities. Chances are that if you choose to look at him through the eyes of admiration, rather than resentment, you’re likely to find that the man you fell in love with has been there all along.
Express your appreciation for him.
As you begin to gather evidence of those qualities that made you fall in love with him, let him know you notice them. If he does something kind, thoughtful, or chivalrous, thank him. If he goes out of his way to do something for you, thank him. Even if he does something differently than you would have, or if there is the slightest attempt made at pleasing you, thank him. The more gratitude and appreciation you begin to express, the more you let him know that you notice the little things, the more he’ll want to do for you and and the more of a change you’ll begin to experience in your relationship.
Forgive and release resentment.
Holding on to anger and resentment shuts out love and intimacy. It’s simply impossible to feel resentment and love at the same time. While he may have hurt or disappointed you in some way, if you are choosing to stay, you’re going to need to choose to forgive. Otherwise, all you are doing is punishing yourself right along with him. Remember that forgiveness does not mean you are condoning or agreeing with what happened. You’re simply choosing to let go of the pain, anger, and resentment that has been filling the space where love and intimacy used to live.
It can feel difficult taking these first steps, because you feel so vulnerable. However, vulnerability is the key to intimacy, and it’s going to take that and courage to make a real shift in your relationship. If you need support or encouragement to begin, reach out to us and let us know. We’d be happy to help you on the path of restoring the love and intimacy you once shared this Valentine’s Day and beyond!
And, if you’re single, remember to register now for the free “Ready to Love Again” webinar we’ll be hosting this Thursday, February 13th!
No matter where you are right now in your love life, you can take the steps now to make this Valentine’s Day the last one you spend alone and feeling lonely!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Feb 7, 2014 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Over the past several weeks, Michelle and I have been communicating with many of you through email, surveys, and the phone. The other day, during our business meeting, we discussed the information we’ve been receiving, and one thing was very clear:
Some of you are feeling stuck in patterns and you want to learn how to break free!
Here is some of the information we’ve collected from the “Are You Ready for Love?” Survey we sent a couple of weeks ago and the questions we received last week:
- Almost 60% of you are struggling with moving on after your last relationship
- For the majority of you, it’s been more than 1 year since the break
- More than 40% of have not gone out on a date in at least 6 months
- 71% of you feel they are not attracting men with whom they are compatible
- More than 50% of you tend to attract men who are unavailable (married, separated or “getting divorced,” in a relationship with someone else)
- 60% of you feel that you are successful in almost every area of your life, except relationships
- More than 50% of you are sleeping with a man before a commitment has been established
- Several of you feel that you’re “stuck” in an on-again-off-again relationship
And the most heart-wrenching statistic for us was learning that –
- Almost 70% of you do not believe that you will ever find the love your heart desires!
These statistics are helpful for us, because they let us know what you are dealing with, what you need, and what we can do to support you. And, just to be clear, we can help you and provide you with the support you need. We’ve worked with women all around the world who have broken free of the past and created a brand new future – the one they always dreamed of! If it happened for them, then it CAN happen for you, too!
But here’s the deal, we can’t help you if you don’t reach out. A few of you have taken the initiative to reach out to us and schedule an appointment to follow up on your survey results, to request coaching, and to get a clear picture of how to begin breaking free and creating a shift in your life.
Many of you haven’t.
But you can.
All you need to do is reach out your hand.
Listen, it’s almost Valentine’s Day and, whether you are single or in a relationship, you can make this the best one yet! Because the moment you break free from whatever it is that is making you feel like you’re stuck in dating or in your relationships, your experience of life completely transforms!
So, if you are ready to create a real breakthrough in your life, and you’re interested in having one of us help you break free from whatever is stopping you from attracting the love that you want, we want to invite you to attend the “Ready to Love Again” webinar we are hosting on Thursday, February 13th, at 9:00pm ET.
In this webinar we will discuss:
- What makes it difficult to move beyond the heartache of a breakup
- The steps you can take to move beyond your heartache and toward a new future
- How to begin attracting new love into your life NOW!
To participate, simply click here to register and we’ll send you an email with the log-in information.
If you’re tired of feeling stuck and you’re ready to break free from the past, then make sure you attend the “Ready to Love Again” webinar on Thursday the 13th!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Feb 5, 2014 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Saturday was a big day for my older son. He crossed over from being a Cub Scout to being a Boy Scout. Not only that, but he was recognized for two high achievements, The Arrow of Light, which is the highest achievement a Cub Scout can earn, and Super Achiever, which means he earned all 20 activity pins before his Arrow of Light ceremony. You can imagine the tears of pride and joy that were streaming down my face – not just because of the achievements, but because, as I sat there, I reminisced about all of the challenges he went through to get there.
See, those of you who know a little bit about me know that my son has a mild form of Autism called Asperger’s Syndrome, which impacts primarily his social skills. Being in large groups, dealing with changes in schedules, and even knowing how to start/end a conversation do not come easily for him. As I sat there, I remembered the times he walked up to strangers and asked them if they wanted to buy popcorn, and dealing with hearing “No” over and over again. I remembered him facing his fears and completing difficult challenges. I remembered him sleeping alone in a tent for the first time, and how, while I was only a few feet away, I could barely sleep, thinking of him being in there all by himself.
As my son began to cross the tight rope bridge that symbolized him having faced and overcome yet another hurdle, he slipped and fell…
My heart stopped and broke at the same time. I heard a few snickers. I felt my heart break a little more. I tried to smile and act as if it wasn’t a big deal, but all I wanted to do was run over there, pick him up, and get him off that bridge and into my arms, where he would be safe.
Instead, I stood there and watched him get back up with the help of the leaders around him. I watched him take one careful step after another, working through the fear and embarrassment he was feeling, until he made it all the way to the other side.
When he got off the ropes, he came straight into my arms and he broke down. I whispered how proud of him I was. I asked him why he was crying (I knew why I was crying), and he said he was embarrassed and proud of himself at the same time. And he said he didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t. I just let him be.
This wasn’t the memory I wanted him to have of his big crossover day. I wished I had a “rewind” button to have him start over again and get across the bridge without falling. But that fall was symbolic of everything he went through. It was part of his journey. And, despite the pain he was in, he was strong and courageous enough to get back up in front of all of those people and walk across to the other side.
I think I was more proud of that of all the other achievements.
So, what about you?
Where have you fallen along the way on your own love journey?
Did you choose to love someone who you thought was perfect for you, only to have your heart broken?
Did you stay in a relationship much longer than you should have, in hopes that he would change and things would get better?
Did you leave a relationship before reaching out for help to see if there was something you could have done to transform the relationship?
Are you still at the other side of your own tight rope bridge, stuck and about to give up on yourself and the possibility of you having the type of loving relationship you dream of?
If this is you, and you’re ready to reach your hand out for help and allow us to help you walk across the bridge to the other side, we’re opening 4 spots in our schedule next week to speak with you. The first 4 people to respond to this post will get one of these spots.
So, go ahead! Take a stand for yourself and respond to this post if you’re ready to get started!
by heartsdesireintl | Jan 31, 2014 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
Recently, I was working with a client who was frustrated about the fact that her long-term boyfriend had not proposed. Who can blame her? When you invest a lot of time – months, years, sometimes decades – to a relationship and it doesn’t seem to be moving forward or to be working out, it’s not unusual to begin to feel angry and resentful toward the other person. And it’s tempting to begin to blame him for the choice you made to stay in the relationship.
While it’s possible that promises were made that had you continue to stay in the relationship – such as him promising that he would propose, and it never happened – the choice to stay inside of a dead-end relationship is completely yours. You get to decide just how long you are willing to wait. And you also are the one who decides how long you are willing to put your dreams, your happiness, and your life on hold, waiting for him to pop the question.
I’m not saying that it’s “easy” to walk away from a relationship, especially if you really love the person. It’s going to take courage to stand for yourself and your dreams. But if you won’t stand for your dreams, who will?
One mistake women make is to begin to dish out ultimatums, such as:
“If you want to be with me, then you need to propose and give me a ring.”
“If you want us to be together, then we have to go to counseling.”
“If you want us to get back together, then _____.”
The problem with issuing ultimatums is that they suck the love, romance, and joy right out of the proposal. Think about it this way: Do you want him to propose because he feels he has to, or because he can’t imagine living his life without you in it?
Issuing ultimatums backs the other person into a corner, and, even if you do get the proposal you want, you will never truly know for sure whether he is marrying you because he really wants to.
And, by the way, this holds true for situations other than proposals. If you’re trying to get your husband to help you around the house, take you on a vacation, or start a family, and you’re doing that by threatening to leave him, giving him the silent treatment, or withholding sex, you may get what you want, but I promise it won’t be as fulfilling as if you knew that he was doing these things because he wants nothing more than to see you happy.
So, what are the alternatives to issuing ultimatums?
- Be clear about what you want. Once you know what it is you want, it’s easy to communicate that to you partner. Let your partner know that you love him and that, for you to be truly happy, you need to be married. Let him know that while you would love to spend your life with him, you know that may not be what he wants, but that it is what you want. Then stop talking. If you don’t, it highly likely that you will slip “convincing mode,” and there will be a temptation to start getting emotional and angry, and issue an ultimatum.
- Realize that he may not want what you want. Just because you want to be married doesn’t mean that he wants that, too. If you’re with a man who loves and wants to take care of you, there’s a high probability that he’ll want to do what he can to please you and that he wants to spend his life with you. But there’s also a chance that he may want something different, and that doesn’t mean that either one of you is right or wrong. You simply want something different.
- Know when it’s time for you to let go. Before you have this conversation, know how much longer you’re willing to stay in the relationship before moving on. However, don’t share this time frame with him, because then you’ve created a deadline, which means you just issued an ultimatum. This is your timeline for yourself.
Once you’ve expressed that you would like to be married without issuing an ultimatum, if there’s still no movement toward marriage after the amount of time that feels right for you, you’re going to have to be courageous enough to let go. This means it’s time stop putting your life and your happiness on hold, time to move on, and make space for the man who is going to want to commit to spending the rest of his life with you. This does not diminish or lessen any of the love that the two of you shared. You are simply choosing to stand for your happiness and create space for what you want to come into your life.
In case you’re wondering whether or not this really works. Remember the client I mentioned at the beginning of the post?
After a few coaching sessions, she had the conversation I described above with her boyfriend. She waited the amount of time she’d decided she was willing to wait making sure not to keep bringing it up, hinting, or reminding him. What happened? Right before her time frame was up, she got the proposal she had been waiting on for years!
They were married last week and she gets to live the rest of her life knowing that he asked her to marry him because he wanted to, and not because she forced him to!
Here’s to you living the life and love your heart desires!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below. We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jan 27, 2014 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever felt like you are “stuck” in a particular pattern in dating and relationships?
Perhaps you feel like you keep attracting the same type of man into your life. Perhaps you feel like, no matter who you are in relationship with, the same types of issues and arguments seem to come up. Maybe you’re in a dead-end relationship that is going nowhere. Or maybe you feel like you and your partner have pulled so far away from one another there’s just no turning back to the way things used to be when you first fell in love.
Regardless of your particular situation, you probably agree that feeling “stuck” can feel be exhausting and depressing. Being inside of that type of dynamic can feel like it’s no use to try to improve or change things – that what you are experiencing is probably as good as it’s going to get.
The problem with this type of thinking is that it is precisely what is keeping you stuck! The thought that there is nothing you can do to create a shift in yourself that would lead to create a different result is simply born out of fear. Fear of being disappointed.
Let’s say, for example, you continue attracting men who are unavailable. Perhaps the men you tend to attract are either married, in a relationship with someone else, or they’ve been “getting divorced” for some while now. If this happens often enough, you might begin to believe that you’re destined to be alone, that there are no good men out there who are capable of being faithful, and that you will never be able to attract a man with whom you can create a loving, intimate relationship.
Or maybe you are in a long-term relationship where your partner will not take the steps to move the relationship to a more committed level or will not propose. To stay in that relationship, despite the fact that you know how much you want to be married and then blame or make him responsible for not having that in your life that is not only unfair to him (because you are making him responsible for your happiness), but it is unfair to you, because you are cheating yourself out of the opportunity to meet a man who is ready to commit to you forever.
Until you identify and let go of the fears that are creating this situation situation and making you feel like you are stuck there, you will continue to either repeat the same patterns and heartaches over and over again.
While it can feel terrifying sometimes to make a change, you need to ask yourself just how much longer you are willing to suffer the same consequences before you are ready to stand up for yourself and what you want.
The truth is that no one else is going to stand for you until you choose to stand for yourself. You teach people how to treat you. So, when you accept disrespectful or dishonoring behaviors, or settle for less than what you want or deserve, and you don’t put your own happiness and well-being first, then you cannot expect someone else to make you or your happiness a priority. The love you long to experience begins with loving yourself first.
This is why Michelle and I are hosting a 60-minute Q&A session this Wednesday at 9:00pm ET. On this call we will be answering your questions about how you can begin letting go of the patterns and behaviors that are keeping you stuck in your very “uncomfortable comfort zone” so that you can begin to attract the type of love you desire and deserve NOW!
To participate in the call, fill in the registration form on our Events page and we’ll send you an email with the call-in details. If you would like your question answered on the call, simply type in your question in the box provided on the form.
We will be reading and answering your questions LIVE on the call! Please note that you must be on the line in order for us to answer your question during the call. If you’d like to remain anonymous, just let us know what you’d like to be called on the call when you submit your question.
Keep in mind that we are probably going to get a lot of questions, so make sure to send yours in right away!
This is a great opportunity for you to receive coaching from us and to finally break free of the fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that have been holding you back and blocking you from attracting the love you want! You’ll also be able to benefit from listening to the coaching other women receive!
Again, the call will be on Wednesday, January 29th, at 9:00pm ET.
Remember to register and send us your question right away!
We look forward to speaking with you on Wednesday night!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
