Hello! It’s Testimonial Tuesday! From time to time, we will be featuring some of our favorite love stories of the women who we’ve worked with so that you can begin to see what is possible for you, too! Just this week, we had one former client announce her engagement, another share how grateful she is that I was her “biggest cheerleader” in staying and working on her relationship, and another share that she received Mother’s Day flowers from her love and a call from her stepdaughter on Mother’s Day for the first time in the 4 years they’ve been together!
One of our favorite parts about being relationship coaches is getting to witness the process of transformation our clients go through. It is such a blessing to be part of their journey and to watch as they move through the difference spaces in their lives toward having the relationship of their dreams!
Today I’d like to share with you a very special testimonial from one of my private coaching clients, Diana. When she first contacted me via email, Diana was dating a great guy. Things were going really well and she had some questions about where the relationship was going and how she should proceed. We communicated back and forth via email for a while, and about a month later I heard from her again and we set up a time to talk. At this time, she was worried because she felt her boyfriend was becoming distant. His communication patterns had changed and her gut was telling her that he was pulling away. We spoke for a little while to determine what she wanted to experience in a relationship, how she could go about doing that, and she signed up as a private coaching client.
It was about a week or two after we started working together that their relationship ended. As you can imagine, Diana was heartbroken and confused. This was a relationship that had been going so well. They had a great connection and were so happy together. She just couldn’t understand what had happened.
Together, we began the journey within, discovering some of her hidden fears, limiting beliefs, and patterns that had been impacting her when it came to relationships. It wasn’t always an “easy” journey. It took a lot of courage to be willing to do the inner work to create an opening for love to come back into her life.
But, as you’ll hear in Diana’s testimonial, the journey was well worth it!
Click below to listen to how Diana went from being heartbroken to being happy-in-love!
Working with a relationship coach is one of the best ways to have the type of relationship you have always dreamed of. Whether you are single and looking to attract the right man into your life, or you are in a relationship that you want to improve or reignite, choosing the right coach for you — someone you trust, who has proven results, and who can teach you the skills you need to make your dreams come true — is one of the most important choices you can make.
If, like Diana, you are ready to stop trying to do this on your own and to begin taking the steps that will lead you in the direction of your dreams, click here so that we can set up a time to talk. I have 3 spots opening up in my program and one of them could be yours!
When we begin a new relationship, we are so happy, hopeful, and excited about sharing our love and life with a wonderful man. I honestly don’t know of anyone who gets into a relationship with the intention of causing themselves or the other person heartache. We usually begin with the intention of making the relationship work.
That’s why there’s probably nothing more frightening than being in a relationship and noticing how the love, passion, and intimacy are beginning to fade away. At first, it may not be very obvious. It can seem like your lives have just gotten busier with work, kids, and other responsibilities. Maybe you’re not kissing, hugging or having as much sex as you used to, you’re not talking or connecting as often with one another; when you are talking, it seems like you usually end up in an argument.
I speak with women almost every day who are in this situation and who are wondering if there is any hope for their relationships. The women usually fall into one of these categories.
In Denial.
If you’re in denial, then you’re ignoring the changes that are taking place. You may be rationalizing and telling yourself that this type of thing is “normal” in a relationship, that all relationships go through slumps, and that this is just a phase you and your guy are going through.
The problem with denial is that, in ignoring the fact that there may be a problem, you also avoid doing anything to fix or change what is happening. The likelihood that things are going to “just get better on their own” is slim to none. Instead, the intimacy and romance will continue to deteriorate until nothing is left and you’ll find yourself asking yourself, “What happened? How did we get here?”
In Blame Mode.
If you’re in “blame mode,” then you’ve begun looking at all of the things the man you love is doing wrong to ruin the relationship. Not only do you see everything he is doing and saying wrong, but you make sure you point it out to him every chance you get. You see where he’s not being loving or romantic, where he’s not making an effort to connect, where he’s not initiating sex. It’s blatantly obvious to you that if he would just change, then the relationship would be fine.
The problem with being in blame mode is that you are making your man responsible for everything that is not going right in the relationship, and avoiding owning up to the role you have been playing in allowing things to get to this point. Inside of blaming him, you don’t have to be responsible for what you are doing (or not doing) to impact the love and intimacy in the relationship. Regardless of whether or not he is making some mistakes, the truth is that you can’t control or change him or what he’s doing. The only person you can truly control is yourself. So, until you begin owning the part you are playing in having your relationship unravel, you can’t do anything to turn things around.
Unsure of What to Do.
If you’re a woman in this category, it’s likely that you realize that your relationship is in trouble, you are willing to acknowledge that there are things you can do to change the dynamic of the relationship, but you don’t know what those things are or how to begin making the changes. You may have tried some things on your own that either backfired or didn’t produce the results you hoped for. You may be afraid to do anything because you are scared to mess things up even further. Or you may really be afraid of trying to make changes, only to find that nothing changes.
This is the category of hope! Where there is a willingness to change, change is possible! Your uncertainty comes from not knowing where to begin. So it stands to reason that with the right information, tools, and support, you will be able to make the changes that will help shift the dynamic in your relationship!
If you fall into either of the first two categories – denial or blame mode – pay close attention, because the truth is that if you continue ignoring the changes in your relationship, pretending they are not happening, waiting for him to be the one to make the first move, and/or thinking that things are going to get better on their own, you have to know that your relationship will continue to deteriorate and will probably end.
If, however, you are willing to admit that things are not going to get better on their own, acknowledge that there are changes that need to take place, and you’re ready to do the work it will take to turn things around and reignite the love, peace, and romance in your relationship, then reach out to me so that we can talk about where your relationship is, where you would like it to be, and what you can begin doing right away to create that shift!
I’ve reserved a few slots in my schedule next week to speak specifically to women who are ready to begin transforming their relationships.
Just click here to set up a time for a Love Clarity call!
You deserve to have the happy, fulfilling relationship your heart truly desires with the man you love! Let’s connect and talk about how you can make your dreams come true!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Last week, I had the honor of sitting on a panel at The Zone Event, which was hosted by my business coach, Shanda Sumpter. She invited me to share my story of how my relationship coaching practice has allowed me to work with and help women all over globe to attract, create, and nurture the relationship of their dreams!
For me, this moment itself was a dream come true!
As I prepared to share my story, I remembered all of the times when I questioned myself, when I wondered if I was on the right path, and whether I could really make the difference I feel I am called to make on this earth.
I remembered not knowing what to do, where to begin, and how to deal with mistakes I made.
I remembered all of the times that my coach was there to help me see what was stopping me from moving forward, push me past my comfort zone, and encourage me to keep moving forward, reminding me that my dream of helping women make their dreams come true was bigger than any fear, obstacle, or disappointment I might be facing.
And I thought about you.
What is it that you wonder about?
Do you question your ability to attract and create the relationship you’ve always dreamed of?
Do you wonder whether there is something “wrong” with you, because you keep having the same results in your relationships?
Are you afraid that there’s no hope for you or your relationship?
What’s important for you to know is that you are not alone in having these fears. You are like every other woman has ever wondered about whether she will ever really have the love and happiness her heart longs for.
So, what can you do to overcome your fears so that you can go after the desires of your heart?
Get clear about what you want.
It’s important that you be crystal-clear about what it is you want to experience in your relationship. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself settling for something less than that. Ask yourself:
How do I want my relationship to be?
What is the experience I want to have as I am in that relationship?
How will I know that I know that I am in the relationship of my dreams?
Identify what is stopping you from having what you want.
Behind the fears and doubts are some deep-seeded beliefs you have about yourself, men, and relationships. Until you identify what those beliefs are what it is that has been having you repeat patterns in dating and/or your relationship, it really won’t matter who you are with. The same thoughts and behaviors will come up, even when you are with the right man. Until they are uncovered, they remain hidden, and they will continue to impact what you do and who you choose to be when you are in a relationship with a man.
Be committed to moving past your blocks and toward your dreams.
It takes courage to admit what your heart desires and to move past your fears and doubts. It may be that right now you’re not sure about what to do or where to begin. So much of what stops us is in our blind spot, making it difficult to even know what is creating the block.
If you can be 100% honest with yourself and recognize that what you have been doing up to this point has not worked and you’re tired of having the same heart-breaking experiences, then perhaps you’re ready for a change!
If you’re reading this post, and you’re ready to begin working with someone who will help you create the results you want in your love life, trust that you are exactly where you need to be!
If you’re single, you still have a few more days before we close registration for the Ready to Love Again 6-Week Course. Let’s schedule time to get on the phone, talk about any questions you may have about the program, and get you registered right away so that we can send you the recording of Session 1 and you can join us for Saturday’s group coaching call!
If you’re in a relationship and you’re wondering how to restore the happiness, romance, and intimacy you once shared with the man you love, then let’s schedule time on the phone and get you started on the path toward transforming your relationship to one that exceeds your wildest dreams!
You can have everything your heart desires. It just takes courage, faith, inspired action, and the guidance of someone who is standing for you to do what it takes to make your dreams come true!
Contact us and let’s talk about how we can be that “someone” for you!
Questions? Comments? We’d love hearing from you! Let us know below!
There’s probably nothing more frustrating, depressing, and debilitating than the idea that you can’t change your circumstances – particularly when it comes to your love life.
When things aren’t going the way you hoped they would – whether it’s due to a break-up, a “dry spell” in your dating life, or a relationship that has slowly (or rapidly) been losing its spark – this can leave you feeling hopeless and like there’s nothing you can really do to change what is happening. This feeling of hopelessness then leads to you standing still and feeling “stuck” as you watch your life, hopes, and dreams unravel, while you silently wait for someone or something to magically appear to rescue you from your situation.
The bad news is: There is no cavalry coming to rescue you.
The great news is: You don’t need a cavalry! You have the power to turn things around!
So what are some signs that you’re stuck in your love life and what can you do to get unstuck and start living and loving again?
1. You keep hoping and wishing things will change on their own.
If it’s been a while since your last break up and you’re still holding on, waiting and hoping that he’ll change his mind and reconsider coming back to you; or you’re avoiding going out and meeting new people while you’re also complaining that you don’t want to be alone, you’re stuck! Wishing, hoping, waiting, and complaining are not going to change a single thing about your situation. The only way to create a change is to make a change! And that means letting go of a man who does not see what he’s missing and is not trying to create a loving relationship with you, and going out so that you can attract one who will!
If you’re in a relationship and you’ve been ignoring the signs that he’s been distant and withdrawn, while silently wondering where the romantic, loving guy you used to know is going to return, you’re stuck! Ignoring the signs that your relationship is changing is not going to make that romance reappear. This doesn’t mean you begin hounding him about it, issuing threats and ultimatums, or suggesting counseling. What it means is looking to see where you haven’t been being the woman he fell in love with and focus your attention there (See #2 for more about this).
2. You blame people and circumstances outside of yourself for the reason why you’re stuck.
Blaming the past, your parents, your ex, your circumstances, or anything outside of yourself for not being able to move forward is a sure way of staying stuck! Now, this doesn’t mean you blame yourself, either. However, if you can take responsibility for the role you have played up to this point in having things turn out the way they are, you also get to take the credit for turning things around.
So, what are some of the things you haven’t been willing to do to make a change in your love life? Where have you been pointing the mirror outside of yourself to avoid being responsible for taking a step toward having the life and love you say you want? And, most importantly, what will your first step toward that life and love be?
3. You believe you “deserve” to be going through what you’re going through.
One of the “traps” that can keep you stuck is the idea that you somehow “deserve” to be sad and alone, rather than happy and fulfilled. This has to do with how you see yourself. And, the truth is that no one else is going to love and put you first until you love and put yourself first.
You were not placed on this earth to suffer, be alone, or feel unloved. You are worthy, deserving, and were created to love and be loved! If there is something you need to forgive yourself for, then be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself, and move on. Grant yourself the permission to feel happy and allow the love deserve and desire to make its way into your life and heart!
4.You tell everyone who will listen about your heartache.
Perhaps the greatest trap of all comes from getting other people’s agreement about how right you are in feeling so sad and alone. The people in your life love you, but they don’t always give you the advice you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on. They’ll listen to you complain (over and over again), they’ll nod as you “villanize” the person whose hurt you, and agree with you that he was a jerk, that you’ve had it rough, and that you are so right to feel the way you are feeling. While talking about your feelings is helpful, repeating the story over and over again to gain sympathy and agreement moves nothing forward. It keeps you replaying the same song about how you’ll never be happy or loved the way you want to be. Truth be told, most of the time, your friends and family are going to tell you what you want to hear. They will also advise you from their own fears and insecurities, which may not be the objective, life-changing type of counsel you need in order to make a real change in your life (See #5, below!).
5. You’d rather stay stuck than reach out for help.
Everything in life comes down to a choice. You choose to be happy, or you choose to remain sad. You choose to cast blame and shame, or you choose to forgive. You choose to give up, or you choose to stand for yourself and make the changes that are going to lead to you having everything your heart desires.
One real step you can take toward getting unstuck in your love life is to reach out for help from coach who can guide you toward releasing yourself from the fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs of the past so that you can have a breakthrough in your love life and begin to experience the love, happiness, and romance you desire and deserve.
It’s difficult to see the ways you may be standing in your own way and blocking love from coming into your life. It takes courage to change old beliefs, stop harmful patterns, and begin taking new, unfamiliar steps toward the love you’ve always wanted.
Michelle and I are committed that you get to experience every bit of love, happiness, and romance your heart desires. We’re here to guide, encourage, and show you how you can transform your life. But you have to be willing to take the first step by reaching out to us!
The only thing in this world we have the power to truly change is ourselves.
If you’re single and ready to love again, then your first step can choosing to join us for the “Ready to Love Again” 6-Week Course that begins on March 12th. If you were unable to join us live for the “Ready to Love Again” Webinarwe created to tell you a little more about the course, clickhereto request the recording.
If you’re in a relationship or marriage, and you’re ready to begin doing what’s in your control to turn things around so that you can create a happy, fulfilling relationship with the man you love, contact us now to set up a time to talk!
If you’re tired of being sad and alone, feeling helpless and hopeless, and wondering when the fear and anxiety will change into happiness and peace, then gather your courage and reach out your hand. We’ve held the hands of hundreds of women around the world and we’d love to take yours and help guide you toward experiencing the life and love your heart desires!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
We’re sure that by this time today, your Inbox, Facebook, and Twitter feeds are overflowing with “Happy Valentine’s Day” messages! Well, here’s one more!
For those of us in happy, loving relationships, today is a special day! We get to celebrate the love we share with the man we’ve chosen to share our lives and hearts with!
For those who are not in a loving relationship, however, it can be a pretty rotten day. All weekend long (and, here in the U.S., it’s a long weekend), you’re sure to be surrounded by hearts, balloons, proposal announcements, and reminders of everyone else’s love and happiness.
If you were on last night’s “Ready to Love Again” webinar (make sure you check out the replay below!), you heard Michelle and me share our personal stories of heartache. Spending any holiday alone can be painful, but this one’s especially difficult.
I remember the first Valentine’s Day after my husband died. All I wanted to do was crawl under a rock and just block out all of the reminders of love and joy that were around me. Everything I saw was a reminder of the love I’d lost and how broken my heart felt. I felt a little guilty about it, but I couldn’t help it. I was alone. I was devastated. And it sucked!
So, if you are feeling angry, sad, or resentful today, we want you to know that it’s understandable. This doesn’t make you a “bad” person. It just means you’re feeling sad and lonely. It’s okay.
Now, this doesn’t mean we want you wrap yourself up in a bitter, depressed Snuggy blanket! The feelings you’re feeling are real and valid. But we also want you to know that you don’t have to stay in that space. You don’t have to stay alone. You can choose to heal your heart and invite love back into your life!
On last night’s webinar, women from all over the world learned why heartache feelsreal, why it can be difficult to let go of it, and what they could do to begin to move on. There was healing, love, and transformation present on that call, and we are so excited for the women who accepted the invitation we gave at the end of the presentation and are now on their path to healing andfreedom from the past! We’re excited because we know about the miracles they are about to experience. We know, because we’ve experienced them first-hand in our own lives and in the lives of the women who we’ve coached and worked with over the years.
All we can say is this:Expect miracles, ladies! Your life, as you know it, will never be the same!
For those of you who were unable to join us on the call, we want you to have an opportunity to experience the same type of healing as these ladies, so we’re giving you access to the webinar replay and a chance at receiving the special “Valentine’s Days” prize we offered last night.
Now, here’s the deal:
If you want something to change, then something has to change. And right now, that something is YOU!
Too many times we allow opportunities to slip right through our hands because we’re too proud, too scared, or too committed to staying stuck in the muck of our lives to draw a line in the sand and say, “This is it! The pain, sadness and loneliness end here and now!”
We’re giving you that opportunity to do that today – to listen to the webinar and make this Valentine’s Day the LAST ONE you spend single and alone!
If you’re not single, but you still feel alone inside of your marriage or relationship, contact us now! I’m not kidding. What in the world are you waiting for?
It’s not going to get better on its own. Things didn’t “just happen” to get bad in your relationship. It happened over time. The love, passion, and romance you once shared were slowly replaced by resentment, regret, and resignation.
But you can turn your relationship around!
And, yes, it is going to take some time, commitment, and the willingness to make changes if you want to transform your relationship back into a loving, peaceful, intimate romance!
This is your life. It’s your choice. And we’re here to offer you the support, tools, and encouragement you need to finally be happy and have the love your heart desires! And while we know we can help, we can’t want it more than you do. You’ve got to want it more!
So, if you’re single, click below to listen to the “Ready to Love Again” webinar and take the first step toward inviting love back into your life.
And if you’re not single, but you are feeling lonely inside of your relationship,contact us and take the first step toward restoring the love and intimacy in your relationship TODAY!
Today’s a pretty special day at Heart’s Desire International… It’s Michelle and Arnie’s 3rd Wedding Anniversary!
For those of you who are not blessed enough to know Michelle and Arnie, I can tell you that they are one of the most inspiring, couples in the world! To see them together is to see what real, unconditional, and extraordinary love looks like! They love and respect one another, are each other’s biggest fans, and accept one another exactly the way they are and exactly the way they are not!
While their relationship isn’t “perfect,” because neither one of them is, either, the love that they share is as close to perfect as it gets!
Now, you may be wondering how Michelle got so “lucky” to end up with such an amazing relationship and marriage? You may think that she’s simply one of the lucky ones who just happened to land an amazing guy without having to go through any type of heartache. And you’d be wrong.
To see her now as a confident, motivational leader who wins one award and recognition after another, and has helped hundreds of women around the world fall in love with themselves and the man of their dreams, you would never guess that just a few years ago she was feeling alone, rejected, and heartbroken.
See, Michelle fell in and got married at a very young age, and her marriage was far from the fairytale romance she lives now. She and her ex-husband did not get along, did not know how to communicate with one another, and, after 13 years of fighting and chipping away at the love they once had, they divorced.
When she began dating again, Michelle will be the first to tell you that she had no idea what she was doing. And because her self-esteem was on the floor and she was looking outside of herself for validation, she dated some pretty bad frogs. At that time, she didn’t honor and love herself, so it was impossible for her to attract a man who would love and cherish her. She tried to create a relationship with men who were clear they did not want to commit, she stayed in dead-end relationships for longer than she should have, and she allowed men to treat her poorly.
It wasn’t until Michelle began practicing the skills we now teach women world-wide that she began to fall in love with herself. She began to realize that she was worthy of love, that she was loveable, and that she could have and deserved the type of happy, peaceful, loving relationship she had always dreamed of.
It wasn’t long before she began enjoying dating because she started attracting some really wonderful men into her life who treated her like the princess she is. She was able to have fun, meet different types of guys and have the really wonderful “problem” of having to choose which of these great guys she wanted to date exclusively! Arnie was one of those guys.
But their love story wasn’t always smooth sailing. While dating, Arnie had moments when he wasn’t sure he wanted to be in a committed relationship, so they would stop seeing each other. But Michelle would not go into a cave and hide until he was ready to tell her that he wanted to be in a relationship with her. She continued dating, attracting more generous, affectionate men of great character into her life, and, when he did come back, she had the choice of whether or not she would let him back into her life and her heart. And she did.
Today, she has the experience of waking up and falling asleep in the arms of the man she loves and who loves her with every part of his being. They laugh, love, grow, and dedicate their lives to empowering people to create the life and love of their dreams!
Michelle can tell this story so much better than I can (and I love hearing it!), so, if you’d like to learn more about how she turned her dating experience from one of pain and tears to one of constant tears of joy, join us tomorrow night, Thursday, February 13th, at 9:00pm ET. We will be offering a FREE webinar called “Ready to Love Again.”
In this webinar, you will learn:
What makes it difficult to move beyond the heartache of a breakup
The steps you can take to move beyond your heartache and toward a new future filled with LOVE
How to begin attracting new love into your life NOW!
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