by heartsdesireintl | Jun 6, 2013 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
I have been dating someone for a month and a half. We spend a lot of time when we are together, but do not communicate often when we are apart, which makes me feel a bit sad! How do I communicate to him that talking on the phone, checking in throughout the week is important to me, so that he can reach out to me more often, without driving him away?
I really like the way you are focusing on how you can communicate what you would like, rather than on what he needs to or “should” do. This is a great start, because, too many times, whether it’s at the beginning of dating or even further into the relationship, we begin to set expectations and make demands of the guy that can, as you mention, drive him away.
The first thing to keep in mind is that the two of you are just dating right now, which means you’re just getting to know one another (you’re not “in a relationship”). It sounds like you are enjoying the time you get to spend with him, which tells me that he’s treating you well and you are having fun (two very important aspects of dating!).
I hear that it makes you sad when you don’t hear from him throughout the week, and, given that you enjoy spending time with him, it’s completely understandable that you’d want to continue speaking with and getting to know him, even when you’re apart. I noticed that you said that you don’t communicate “often” when you’re apart, which leads me to believe that there is some communication, just not as much as you’d like.
When we express what we want or prefer, I always like to encourage women to present it as “an invitation,” rather than “an obligation.” An invitation lets him know, “I love it when you call me,” I enjoy talking to you, even when we’re apart,” and “Thanks for calling me! I have another reason to smile today!”
Contrarily, an obligation says, “You should be calling me during the week,” “I don’t get why you just can’t pick up the phone for a few seconds, just to say ‘hi,’ or “Why can’t you call or check in with me during the week?” The problem with the obligation is that it’s nothing short of a complaint and the underlying message is: “You did something wrong,” or “You messed up…again!”
So, can we express what we want or prefer without making him wrong for not doing it as often as we’d like?
- Focus on what he is doing to please you and receive his time and attention graciously. Thank him when he does something that pleases you. Let him know he made you smile. Guys like to know that they have something to do with the smile on your face!
- Say what you like or prefer without making demands or ultimatums. Saying something like, “I like hearing from you when we’re apart,” or even more simply, “I love hearing your voice,” sends the message that it pleases you when he calls you. Again, you’re presenting him with an invitation to call you more often.
- Let go of expectations. Too often, we have an idea in our mind of what things “should” look like and what the other person should be doing or saying. However, this is just our opinion, or our way of thinking about and seeing things. Of course, you always want to make sure that you feel safe and treated well when you’re dating or in a relationship with someone. However, be open to the idea that his way of communicating or expressing his feelings may be different from yours, and remind yourself that “different” does not mean it’s bad or wrong. It’s simply different.
Hope this helps, and let me know how it goes!
Questions? Comments? Let us know! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 5, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
One of my favorite parts about the work that I do is being able to connect with and make a real difference for the people with whom I work. There really is nothing more rewarding to me than guiding a woman through her biggest fears, greatest blocks, and limiting beliefs, and having her come through more empowered and confident than ever, with the promise of her heart’s desires being fulfilled on the other side!
I don’t always get an opportunity to connect with everyone in our community on a personal level, but lately I’ve been trying to think of ways to create opportunities for more personal connections, where I can hear from and share with you on a more consistent basis.
Well, those of you who know me know that I don’t believe in coincidences, and that I do believe that everything that happens does so at the perfect time and for a specific reason. That’s why yesterday, when I read about a 30-Day Challenge yesterday, I got excited!
And the best part is YOU get to be part of it, too!
One of the groups I’m very proud to be part of is the Social Media Club of South Florida. The members are participating in a 30-Day Blogging Challenge during the month of June.
So, why is this exciting and how can you be part of it?
The 30-Day Blogging Challenge I participated in last year is what helped me to start blogging on a more consistent basis. I joined the group right before the last challenge began and it motivated me to create “Your Heart’s Desire Thought of the Day,” where, for 30 days, I blogged about a different dating and relationship topic each day. People enjoyed it, I loved reading and responding to the comments, and, when the challenge ended, I had several requests to continue with the daily messages (If you were one of those people, consider this your request being granted!).
Another reason I’m so excited is because I’ll be doing things a little differently this time. Instead of me coming up with the 30 topics I’ll be blogging about, this time, I will be answering your questions about love, dating, and relationships! That’s right! All you have to do is ask me a question via email or our Facebook page, and I will answer your question in one of the blog posts during the month of June! Your name will be kept confidential on the blog post, and you’ll have the opportunity to have some of your burning questions answered!
Here’s all you need to do:
- Type the words “Burning Question” in the subject line of your email or in your Facebook comment.
- Send your question via email to gladys@heartsdesireintl.com or post your question on our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/heartsdesireintl.
- Once the question gets answered, I’ll send you an email or Facebook message letting you know that your question’s been answered on Heart’s Desire’s blog.
That’s it!
Now, I really need your help, because today is June 5th, and the challenge began on June 1st! Believing that it’s never too late for anything wonderful to happen (in life or relationships!), I want to get started right away – as in tomorrow, June 6th! So, if you have a question (or 2… or 3) that you’d like answered, just send me an email or go to our Facebook page and ask it NOW! And, please don’t wait to see if someone else asks first. I need to answer 30 questions in 30 days and I want yours to be one of them.
Just send me any questions you have about:
- dating
- love
- sex
- relationships
- parenting
- romance
- marriage
- breakups
- avoiding divorce
- intimacy
- any other burning questions you have
So, go ahead! Make my day and partner with me to make this next 30 days ones that make a huge difference for you and the thousands of others people who are going to benefit from reading the answer to your question!
Questions? Comments? Let us know! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | May 30, 2013 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance, Success
by Gladys Diaz
Last week, I had the privilege of attending the seventh Women’s Success Summit in Miami, FL. Heart’s Desire has been a Partner since the first Summit for several reasons. One is because its founder, Michelle Villalobos, is not only a trusted mentor and friend, but she’s one of our happiest clients, having met her wonderful boyfriend after attending our workshops! Aside from our love and admiration of Michelle, the networking opportunities, connections we’ve made (both personally and professionally), and the incredible content we’ve received over the years has helped us to grow our business both locally and abroad.
I’m a people person, so the opportunity to see and spend time with my friends, colleagues, and some of my clients is something I always look forward to. I have to say, however, that there’s something special about being introduced to someone by having the person say something like,“This is my dating coaching. She’s the one who’s teaching me how to love dating again,” or “This is Gladys, the one who helped me attract my amazing boyfriend into my life.” Perhaps my favorite moment was when a woman came up to me and said, “You probably don’t remember me, but I took your workshop last year, and I just wanted to thank you, because, thanks to giving up the checklist, I met a wonderful man and we’re getting married!” The next day, I had the pleasure of meeting her fiancé who is moving across the country to marry and spend his life with her! How does it get any better than that?
I had a great conversation with group of ladies about how something magical happens when women come together for a common purpose. Everyone who attends the Women’s Success Summit is there for a different reason, but we do all share something in common: We have a dream and that dream includes having a great business or career where we can do what we love and make a real difference in the world at the same time! And that’s why we choose to attend an event where we know we’re going to be inspired, informed, and connected with other women who are on a similar path. During the event, and as we create new business opportunities and refer one another to potential partners and clients, we also support, encourage, and celebrate one another’s successes!
So, what does all of this have to do with you, your dating life and romantic relationships?
It all goes back to a saying I used to hear a lot when growing up:
“Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.”
The people with whom you associate, to whom you listen, and who you emulate have a direct impact on you and the results you create in your relationships. Surrounding yourself with other women who are as committed as you are to creating loving and fulfilling relationships is crucial to helping you create new beliefs and habits that will lead to you having the type of relationship you want to experience.
When I began practicing the principles I now teach, I would meet with a small group of women who were all practicing the same principles in their lives and relationships. We’d meet in person and on the phone and listen to one another vent, remind each other what it was we were committed to creating and having in our lives, and celebrate our victories and breakthroughs. Now, years later, we are still there for one another, sharing in our lives and encouraging each other to have the loving, passionate relationships we have always dreamed of.
Think about the women with whom you are surrounding yourself. Are they committed to creating healthy, loving, lasting relationships or are do you all participate in male-bashing and discussing how there aren’t any good men out there? Do they encourage you to step beyond your comfort zone and practice new habits in order to experience new results, or do they criticize your attempts to have a new experience in dating and in your relationships? Do you feel uplifted and inspired after speaking with them, or do you feel like you’ve just spent time with an energy and hope vampire? Is there a woman in your life who is happily married to whom you can turn for advice and encouragement? And are you working with a coach or mentor who is not only giving you “good advice,” but whose life and relationship reflects the results of the practices he or she is teaching?
If it’s true that you are a reflection of the five people with whom you spend the most time, can you say that you are surrounding yourself with people who are up to creating and living in the types of relationships that you admire and wish to have. If not, it’s okay. You don’t have to get rid of all of your friends, but think about bringing some new people into your life who will set you on the path of actually experiencing the life and love your heart desires!
And, of course, it goes without saying, you can always reach out to me!
Questions? Comments? Let us know! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
by heartsdesireintl | May 20, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, HDI Blog, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
When I began working on the From Heartache to Your Heart’s Desires Telesummit, I didn’t know exactly what it would look like, who the experts would be, or who, if anyone would register to participate. I only knew that, if I was going to put that much time and effort into something, I wanted it to make a real difference! So I made myself and all of the future participants a promise that I would do everything in my power to make sure that the telesummit was something of value – something that would cause hearts to open and lives to change. I made a promise that, at the end of this telesummit, people would feel empowered to break through the pain and fear of the past and the heartache they had experienced and feel ready to step out boldly and courageously into a new future filled with the possibility of loving and being loved again.
Well, based on the testimonials I’ve been getting from participants, I can confidently say that the promise is being fulfilled! But don’t take my word for it. See for yourself the difference that this telesummit is making in people’s lives!
“I am ready to find love again. I actually believe!”
Gladys,
I just wanted to let you know that your telesummit is the BEST love telesummit I have yet to participate in!
What is so incredible about yours is that the entire hour or less, even 50 or 55 minutes is filled with 50 minutes of deep valuable context, tips, tools, questions, techniques that the listener can use RIGHT AWAY in our lives. I mean, we can get off the phone and live from that context or use those tips or questions or that process immediately.
AND to boot! There really is SOMETHING for every single person on the call whether you are single or married in every single interview. I don’t have to miss an interview about partnerships or incredible sex as you always bring what there is for single people listening or someone not quite ready to date and getting over heartache! Hello…this one is me, not quite ready to let the last dream go!
What is incredible is that from participating in your telesummit – and this never happened to me in other telesummit – I am ready to find love again. I actually believe! I really believe he is out there and the love I will bring will be better than ever, healthier than ever, all because of the soul nurturing, spirit expanding and honoring context I have gained from listening to your telesummit. I never believed it was possible after 50, and now I do! And I can learn to do the deep work within and not make it about anyone or him out there or about something lacking in me. But I can learn with self love and forgiveness and compassion and bring that out into the world. I feel expansive and larger in some way. Like my spirit has opened again and so has my heart.
In short (ha ha ha), I am just so grateful and appreciative of you, this telesummit you have put together and your hostess abilities. Thank-you, from the bottom of my unclosed heart that is ready to love again and believe in love again. I really didn’t expect that to come out of this summit. I really thought I would grieve for another few years about my husband who got away because I blew it and should know better at the age of 50! Thank-you is not enough to say but thank-you for healing my broken heart and opening me up to the possibility of love again, even better, even healthier!
I feel like I am having a spiritual awakening in the area of self love, self care and how I am thinking about and who I am being in relationship. From a telesummit! I never would have thought that was possible. On some level, it’s like the context that each speaker brings is resonating and touching my soul. I am willing to do the deep work. ~ L
So, there you have it! The power of a promise fulfilled! And this is just one of the many testimonials I receive daily via emails and our Facebook page! It’s simply inspiring!
The promise is there for you, too!
If you are ready to break through the pain, fear, and resignation that have been holding you back, keeping you stuck, and not allowing you to let love flow to, through, and from you so that you can begin to experience the love of your dreams, then I invite you to join the telesummit. It’s not too late! (It never is!) There are several interviews posted and there will be a few All-Access Replay Days this week, where you can listen to ALL of the interviews that have been featured throughout the interview.
Just do it! Take a leap of faith and up, make sure you confirm your email address (or you won’t receive follow-up emails), and begin listening to the interviews that most call out to you.
You deserve happiness. You deserve freedom from the past. And you deserve to experience the life and love your heart desires!
See you on the other side!
P.S. If you missed the interviews featured during Weeks 1 or 2, there is no need to worry! If you’d really prefer to not have to wait to listen to recordings until they air or replay, after signing up you can upgrade your subscription to VIP Membership, where you’ll receive MP3 recordings of all of the interviews and links to all of the free gifts! But, first, you need to register, so go to: http://www.heartachetoheartsdesires.com NOW!
To read more testimonials, just visit Heart’s Desire International’s Facebook page and look at the pinned post at the top of the page!
Comments? Questions? Let us know! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | May 14, 2013 | Dating, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
I came across this quote by Miguel Ruiz today and I had to smile! I often wonder if the angels are eavesdropping on my conversations when things like this happen!
See, I was coaching a client yesterday who was sharing what she wants to experience in her relationship. She was telling me that she worries some times because she sees that many of her married friends and family members have lost the passion, excitement, and romance has worn off, and they just seem to be “comfortable” with one another.
I explained to her that love, passion, romance does not have to die, dwindle, or fade away. While it’s true that love changes as we grow together in life, this does not necessarily mean that it begins to go away. It is possible for love, intimacy, and passion to deepen, rather than dwindle, over the years.
Intimacy is made up of thousands of little moments – conversations where we share our deepest fears and wildest dreams; moments of intense physical, spiritual, and emotional connection, where we have the experience of actually being one; silly moments where we’re laughing so hard we can’t catch our breath; and painful moments where we help one another stand and make it through to the other side of disappointment or grief. It’s through our shared life’s experiences – the simple and complicated, through good times and bad, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health – that our love can grow stronger and deeper than ever.
So, why is it that some couples manage to keep the love alive in their relationships and others don’t, and what can you do to keep the romance alive in your own relationship?
The answer may seem simple, but it’s profound: Love grows stronger through practice.
Just as the athlete grows stronger, the artist grows in her craft, and the dancer becomes more graceful through practice, so do we become better at giving and receiving love through practicing our love.
No matter how much an athlete wants to win, how much the artist wants to improve her artistry, or how much the dancer wants to glide effortlessly across the stage, without practice each of them will either stay stagnant or regress in their skill level.
Practicing love means being willing to listen, rather than always trying to be heard. It means being accepting and forgiving, compassionate and understanding. It means allowing the other person the freedom to be who he or she is, without trying to control, fix or change him or her. Practicing love means allowing the other person to be there for you, to support and love you. And practicing love means setting the intention every day to love a little more deeply, fully, and profoundly.
Love doesn’t have to dwindle and passion and romance do not have to fade. When we make it a point to make each new day – each new moment – an opportunity to practice loving and being loved a little more than the one before, the love, intimacy, and passion we feel for one another will grow stronger, deeper, and more fulfilling than we ever dreamed was possible!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | May 10, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
This was Week 1 of the From Heartache to Your Heart’s Desires Telesummit. It has been a week filled with details: emails, interviews, technology issues. And it has been a week filled with miracles, too! Being able to connect with people all over the world (over 1500, so far) and share a message of love, healing, hope, and the promise of new beginnings has been – while at times overwhelming – a beautiful journey!
Heartache is not the most “fun” topic to discuss. When a relationship ends, due to a breakup, divorce, or death, or when it begins to unravel, the pain is real. As the experts who have been sharing on the telesummit have said, there are real physical effects to the heart, nervous system, and other parts of our bodies; there are emotional effects in the form of anger, sadness, confusion, and disappointment; as well as the grieving of the hopes and dreams we had envisions for ourselves. There’s no doubt about it: The pain of heartache is real.
What’s optional, however, is suffering.
It would be strange and unnatural to invest your time, attention, and love and then not feel anything when it’s over. But suffering is a choice. You can either choose to stay in the grief, the anger, the resentment, or you can choose to acknowledge it, allow yourself to feel it, and then let it go. You can choose to close off your heart – shutting out any possibility of giving and receiving love – or you can choose to step beyond what feels safe and allow love to flow to and through you.
But how do you begin to let go of the suffering so that you can begin to live and love again?
Well, if you’ve been participating in the telesummit, you’ve heard different experts share a variety of ways to begin moving beyond the fear and pain and moving toward a new future filled with the possibility of love!
- Julie-Anne Shapiro shared how to bring love and forgiveness to your inner child and about making a Soul Commitment to having the love your heart desires.
- Julie Ferman spoke of being present and approaching dating and love as a journey.
- Stephan Gonnick walked us through exercises to move through the three universal blocks that keep us from experiencing love.
- Marni Battista explained how we can avoid the #1 relationship killer: the need to be right.
- Jennifer Grace shared some daily practices that will help us begin to heal and discover the love that’s already inside of us.
- Laura Doyle talked about how to avoid the four major mistakes women make when it comes to creating a loving relationship.
- Marcy Neumann shared how it’s in letting go that we can let love in.
- Charles J. Orlando explained how we can kill the endless cycle of unfulfilling relationships.
- And, today, Jennifer Hadley shares how we can “unbreak” our hearts; and
- Debi Berndt and Dr. Roberto Maldonado share how to create “conscious chemistry,” rather than falling into the trap of unconscious “default” relationship patterns.
And this is just in the first 5 days of the telesummit! We still have another 8 days to go!
Here’s what some participants are saying:
What an incredible interview with Julie-Anne Shapiro! I loved the part where she encouraged us to visualize our inner child and “provide her with what her heart desires”! That was a huge AHA for me! I was actually able to see the inner child in me…now I think I have an idea of what she desires. 🙂 Thank you again you Gladys Diaz for the incredible messages during the telesummit! I am so excited!!! ~ D
Thank you so much for putting this program together. It’s been wonderful so far. I am sure the rest will be fabulous, too.
Thanks to all of your guests and especially to Laura Doyle for her great generosity in giving this huge gift to this sweet community. ~ M
Thanks so much for putting all of these tele-interviews together, keep up the good work.
I just felt I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed the talk with Marcy Neumann – wow! Everything she said just echoed so deeply within me, it all made so much sense, I kept taking notes and re-listening to some of the parts. She has so much wisdom to share.
Thank you again.
It was lovely today, and it will help me to take one step at a time to figure out where my GPS is going to lead me, but I must identify that myself too. ~ L in Austria
I am trying to get the whole world to join in. It’s amazing! ~ Y
If you missed part of Week 1, there is no need to worry! There will be a “Replay Day” on Sunday, May 13th where you’ll be able to listen to all of the available interviews – even the ones that have expired! If you’d really prefer to not have to wait to listen to recordings until they air, or having to listen to them within 72 hours, after signing up you can upgrade your subscription to VIP Membership, where you’ll receive MP3 recordings of all of the interviews and links to all of the free gifts! But you need to register, so go to: http://www.heartachetoheartsdesires.com NOW!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Photo credit: WolfS♡ul via photpin.com cc
